CHAPTER XIV: DUTCH WEST INDIES
Part 1: Making the Boss Do His Job
(1630-1635)
First Moves:
We covered the majority of our introduction in the interlude, so I'll cover only the salient points: We are (effectively) a republic with an indifferent governor (1/4/1). We hate our two colonial neighbors. They hate us. We have no colonists, and can't DoW Natives without a common border. We can't DoW the Netherlands without a much higher Liberty score, and can't DoW other independent nations.
Diplomatically, we're trying to get Russia to like us, which at first seemed insane, but looking around I saw our predecessor had already improved relations with Spain, Portugal, Netherlands and Great Britain. I sent our diplomats to Denmark and Norway instead: They might be able to help with our eventual liberation war.
Eventual, for at 10% liberty we won't be free within our tenure here. Plus, the Netherlands is busy building a colony in Guantanamo (Eastern Cuba) now, and once it reaches city status it will join the DWI.
Our merchant situation gets a little strange. As we start we're transferring trade from the Mississippi River (which has no colonies near it) and Mauritanian Coast. I move one merchant to the Caribbean trade node to start collecting, and since Mauritania is richer I plan to leave the other there. Fine - except when the clock starts, that merchant comes home claiming we're out of trade range. Huh. I didn't think the AI got a trade range bonus. Well, Mississippi River then to trade with unsuspecting natives.
We have the options to make a Declaration of Indulgence or deal with Suffragan Bishops. The latter reduces our taxes, which in general I try to avoid. The former gives us better tolerance of heretics. Well, the Protestants aren't coming to North America, and if Russia does it'll be through Alaska:
So, we can sit on our rears and see what happens, or we can wreak some havoc. What do you think?
Yeah, I thought so too. Don't tell Doc.
Punching Caraibas in the Nose
It has to be Caraibas. We can only DoW colonies. Netherlands and Spain are allied, which rules out Spanish Florida even if we wanted to chance provoking Spain. They have 15K troops to my 11K, but like us Caraibas consists mostly of islands. This means whoever controls the sea controls troop movement. This becomes even more clear when our three caravel trading fleet finds all 15K sitting on Dominica, an island in the Antilles.
Naval dominance is another issue though: Along with our three traders we have a carrack and one flyte (transports). Caraibas has two carracks, five caravels and two flytes.
Our first move, therefore, is to take six loans and use them to purchase three more carracks and three flytes.
Guantanamo joins the DWI in May, which gives us the confidence to take Diplomacy-12 (Grand Shipyard & Roads). This leads to some dispute over whether we should go back to Mauritania.
I underlined republic's/republics because they're bad grammar. This drives me freaking nuts. It's my pet peeve: Far too many times I see sentences like 'The dog's like meat,' or 'We should go see the cat's.' We should go see the cat's WHAT? Its food bowl? Its claws? The corner where it pees when no one is looking?
Cat's suggests something belonging to the cats.
Cat. Singular. Damn it, now I'm doing it.
I don't mind so much here: Paradox is Swedish, and I can't hold them to the same standard as a native speaker, but I see it all the freaking time here in America. TV shows. TV
news. Printed advertisements! Come on! If it's your job, something you have probably worked hard and went to college for, to create printed media you should at least have a grasp of the basic rules of your native language!
Hmph.
Alright. Where were we?
Okay, so after sneering at the dispute for awhile we finish building our carracks and flytes. Through early 1631 we merge our troops (1K was out by themselves for some odd reason) and fleets, and move both to full maintenance. Our grand army will be commanded by Jacob....hm... I can't read my writing. It looks a little like Ubergeek. General Ubergeek (F1 S1 Sg2) is better then the man he replaced, who only had M1. Admiral David Van Eden (S3) has the harder job of keeping the Caraibas fleet pinned.
In February we locate their fleet moving 4K to Hispaniola. They then dock in Les Cayes (southern Haiti) to make van Eden's job easier. By July we've spotted everything they own and are in position to strike.
So, Plan A is for Admiral van Eden to pin the carracks and transports in Les Cayes. Our three caravels will withdraw to Curacao, join us with the four flytes and escort them around. General Ubergeek will lead successful landings on anything that isn't Dominica (10K) or Hispaniola (4K).
Plan A almost goes in the corner with the cat pee when Caraibas' 5 caravels catches our 3. We're giving as good as we get, but defeat appears imminent until I detach one of von Eden's carracks to join the fight.
Caraibas' caravels retreat to port. This leads to Plan B, which involves that fleet blocking them in. Our flytes have nothing to fear and carry sieging armies to St. Martin, Jamaica and Martinique.
Now we wait for the siegers to finish. Four Portuguese ships pass through, take stock of the situation and wander away. I watch to see if anyone else is remotely interested in our war: Not really. Then, in June, the caravels try to break out. Once more they're defeated without loss and retreat to port. We barely won: Our flytes were en route to offer what little support they could.
The carrack's still game, but our caravels are badly wrecked and can't stand another fight, which was perhaps the idea: Attack a few times until our weakened fleet can't prevent a breakout. The flytes join our blockaders force while the caravels retreat to St. Eustasius to recoup. We also build two more carracks to reinforce our blockaders.
Of course, while our flytes are busy blockading, sieges start to finish up. Jamaica is first in July 1632.
Portugal's not amused and orders us to back off. (Enforce Peace)
Between you and me, something has to change about this: Colonial wars are fun, but if I played a whole game as a colonial power, being threatened by overlords every time I'm winning a colonial war would get tiring.
As a colonial overlord, I could also seeing my spunky little colony picking fights with all sorts of countries getting tiring as well, for if the colony refuses to white peace, now I'm in a war I didn't ask for.
The best solution I could think of is for Portugal's Enforce Peace order to go to Netherlands, and it'd be Netherlands' choice whether I have to back off or not. As a colonial state I would hate that however.
I think long and hard about our situation: Netherlands has the bigger fleet, but Portugal has a larger army if they can break through. If allies get involved, Spain could join Portugal; ugly. Netherlands apparently dropped their alliance with Spain at some point, but could still get Great Britain and Savoy to help out.
If I was playing for myself, I might have white peaced out. I'm not sure... as I said, getting into wars just to be forced to white peace continually sounds like it would get boring.
You're here with me though, and I know what you want to see:
Paper Tiger
Damn. I forgot about Brazil (the third hostile). We have a 91 to 80 advantage in ships, they have 64K to our 47K men. This could get ugly, and with Brazil being in our backyard our carefully laid blockades could scatter easily.
Still, there's nothing for it now. The 5 Caraibas caravels once more try to break out, and once more get shoved back to port. A local fortification expert appears in Barbados: We just don't have the money to hire him, so we send him home to raise local defenses by 25% and hope it's not needed.
Martinique falls in August 1632, and by now our own caravels are back in action. This lets us detach the flytes and transport Ubergeek's army to Antigua. We finish our two carracks and add them to the blockade.
Unfortunately, some people don't understand patriotism.
Look. We're in the middle of a potentially nasty situation, and you forego the country's health in order to pursue your own profits? Who are you: Wall Street?
It irritates the Netherlands as well:
This is the kind of thing that led to the American Revolution, but here it's hard to argue. Netherlands
is carrying this war, as a quick look at the war status proves: The Portuguese landed a large force in Hainault(!), and the Netherlands kicked them out. 56 Dutch warships encountered 30 in the Gulf of Guinea and thrashed them badly. They're the reason no Portuguese or Brazilian warships have wrecked our day: I'm fine with this.
It does lead to a certain trade complacency however, lowering global trade by 10%.
St. Martin falls in June 1633, which scares Caraibas enough to try to break out with their battle fleet. We thrash them as well and send them back to port. In August Antigua falls, leading to the caravels having yet another go at us before fleeing to Dominica, home to the 10K army I don't dare touch. This time they lost two ships in the bargain.
We send four flytes to carry an army onto Hispaniola, but here General Ubergeek meets his match. Whoever commands the enemy 4K army is an operational genius: We try to land in one place, he counters. We try to land in another, he counters. I can either risk an amphibious assault at even odds, or back off...
...Or build four more flytes. Let's do that.
In April 1434 the three remaining Caribas caravels try
again. Once more they get thrashed and two more ships end up at the bottom of the sea. We leave two carracks to box in the last trader, while our caravels join the attack fleet building at Curacao. Our new flytes are ready, so we gather up another 4K men and advance on Hispaniola.
The enemy commander isn't willing to risk his 4K against Ubergeek's now 8K strong army, and he lands in Tortuga in June 1634. He then splits his force to cover the eastern half of the island, while our fleet splits to blockade all of Hispaniola.
People at home protest our poor government policies. What do they think this is? A republic?
Oh, wait...
Anyway, we lose a stability and immediately buy it back. In December the lone Caraibas caravel tries yet again, and gets thrown back to port.
Status Update
It's December 1634, and so long as Portugal continues to stay out of it, we're wrapping the war up (not including Dominica, which is probably impregnable.) We even paid off 2 of our 6 loans.
Our goal? Well, honestly our goal is not even remotely relevant as Netherlands and Portugal took over leadership of the war when they intervened. I hope that, should we win, the AI's smart enough to kick Portugal out of the New World.
The Netherlands are a decent partner in this fight. Along with keeping Europe stable, they've blockaded 80% of Brazil and have even occupied a province. They've also wrecked the Portuguese navy:
Code:
Alliance Army Pre-War Current Navy Pre-War Current
Portugal 64.0K 52.9K 80 ships 23 ships
Netherlands 47.0K 45.9K 91 ships 85 ships
Difference -17.0K -7.0K +11 ships +58 ships
Alright Johan, I know the story by now. I'm having way too much fun with this. Fine. Where to now?
Johan's Dice
Reign: 5 years
Roll Needed: 2+
Roll: 5
Continue: Yes
Huh.
