CHAPTER II: LAN XANG
Part 2: Pettiness (1470-1475)
Making Ayutthaya Earn It
It's January 1470. Lan Xang's last province is under siege, and we have no army. I'm rather sore with the AI for not letting me off the floor about two years ago. I want to hurt them.
Well, we know Ayutthaya and Dai Viet both have rebel problems. We have some money, so perhaps the rebels would ike a little help?
This, of course, convinces Ayutthaya that maybe we should give peace a chance after all.
No dice.
Why? Well, if you look at their offer closely, you'll see it reduces Lan Xang to a OPM. They can't make an offer that's worse for us since they can't forceannex us, so there's no bonus for ending this war early. I'm going to spend my money so they get virtually nothing, and if I can trigger a rebellion or two, all the better.
So, the walls are breached in March. In April my heir, Theng Kham, dies. While the whole nation is mourning, I'm smiling because his replacement is 5 year old Thammkarat (A5 D6 M1), a significant improvement if I can keep him (and his country) alive long enough.
Ayutthayan diplomats are suitably sympathetic and ask if I'd like out of the war for the same terms as before, only 48 ducats instead. Nah, I like supporting rebellions in your country.
In June I learn a loan (accrued during the war) is coming due. I pay it off. Heck, I pay all three loans off! No way Ayutthaya's getting
my money! Later that month tragedy strikes.
I'd really love to help guys, but 1) I've used up all my money, and 2) You'll soon belong to Ayutthaya anyway. They can pay for it!
By July 1470, my treasury has dropped from 63 ducats to 0.53. I stop supporting the rebels. I don't think it did any good, but I feel better. Ayutthaya asks if I'd like to get out of the war for the above terms plus 5 ducats. No thanks.
Do you remember how it feels when you know the AI is beat, but they absolutely refuse to negotiate with you? Frustrated? Annoyed? I'm hoping somewhere deep within EU4's programming, the AI is seeing red.
In October my pettiness finally ends. The last capital falls, and Ayutthaya imposes their terms. Much as I expected, though throwing me enough into debt to require two loans is a nice touch.
And just in case you don't understand why I'm feeling petty...
We are now an OPM stuck between two major powers (once Khmer is diploannexed, which happens in March 1472. At least I delayed them.)
The Doomsday Plan
Peace! Prosperity! Well, except for the two traders returning home, the one because we no longer have any provinces in Siam's trade sphere, and the other because we're now out of range of Canton. We make our nobles feel better by granting export licenses. Ming approves of our minor corruption for +20 points, though our legitimacy drops 10. Somehow I think legitimacy is the least of our problems, especially with +10% National Tax for my one province on the table.
No, my problem is how to survive in this brave new world. I sent a diplomat to Ming to improve their reaction, and get all the way to +6 before they send me home. No one will give me a royal marriage except for Lan Na and Pegu, and we've had RMs since I arrived. A diplomat goes to Dai Viet to convince them I'm a harmless enough neighbor. So harmless that I form a coalition against Ayutthaya in May 1471 and several nations sign on.
Shan, Ayutthaya, Dai Viet and Khmer get into a war with Orissa, Kachar, Garjat and Nepal which I believe solves nothing. Orissa diploannexes Kachar while Khmer falls to Ayutthaya, completing my isolation.
In November 1472 the king finds out he has a naive relative. I think that's some sort of hidden slight against me, but what can I do? Well, I can let the naive relative live. It's not like whatever secrets he's giving away are worth anything, and -25% Spy Defense doesn't really matter at this point.
Lan Na offers an alliance in February 1473 - sure, two OPMs against the world! Dai Viet and Shan have both abandoned Ayutthaya's alliance, but neither one are at all interested in me. By now the Ming ambassador, rather than laughing in my face every time we meet, pretends I don't exist.
This is actually a good thing, because Ming spends March-April 1473 revoking all their guarantees through Indochina. They're up to something, but what that something may be doesn't appear this session.
Then, in June, our worst fears are related. Ayutthayan agents are caught trying to forge a claim on my last province. No.
Let me rephrase that. Hell no.
Our government officials don't approve of my language. I tell them to get stuffed, then recall a diplomat from Pegu who was patiently raising our relations.
I'm going to diverge for just a moment. In general people don't like playing chess with me. I am not a graceful player. I know just enough of the basic mechanics to beat someone who doesn't know what they're doing, while everyone else is frustrated because I don't mind sacrificing pieces in even exchanges. Your queen threatens me? Fine, I'll chase it around with my queen until we both die.
In other words, I am not afraid of lose/lose scenarios, and that's about what I'm left with. I wish I could warn/threaten the AI, but even if I could it would have no reason to listen to me, so I will tell you gentle readers instead:
Ayutthaya will
NEVER own Luang Prabang.
If you don't know how I plan to stop them, stay tuned and learn why people never play chess with me.
Johan's Dice:
Length of reign: 10 years
Roll to continue: 6
Continue? (Y/N): (Need 3+) Yes
As I recall, Dai Viet at least has some good leaders during this time. I can only hope they leave you with some scraps when it is all said and done. Hopefully it won't be 5 more years of waiting for peace.
