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unmerged(58610)

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Not at war with Persia. I see you corrected that this time around. War with the Ottomans. Hmm. Johan kept you around for that. I see the hand of FIFA getting back at you for exposing their accepting large sums of money for the Qatari '22 world cup. Hope Morocco likes Yemen enough to join in. Could have a round robin here with Russia, Morocco and Yemen all playing matches home and away against the Turks. Yemen has yet to face decent opposition. Pundits though aren't seeing any way Yemen can win this.
 

Homusubi

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Football is a game of 2-3 halves, at the end of which the Ottoman Empire wins on penalties.
 

Stuyvesant

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I'm reading through the whole update, thinking "Not too shabby" and "Atta boy!" and so forth, quite pleased with your progress destroying the Persians' dream of World Cup supremacy, until I get to the notification of the aptly named "Elimination round". And you get to stick around for it, too. Just keep trying to hand the Ottos the Negev, which they clearly crave as their summer camp training pitch (I'm sure a stretch of scorching hot sand makes for great foot-to-ball action), and see if they accept before they overrun the entire place and utterly crush you.
 

Spockyt

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First Star Wars, then football, what next? I'm not going to say it was a brilliant update, but it is better then some AARs. I'm sure you will be back to your usual standard, once the football is finally over.
 

geauxtigers

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I find this to be a very good ARR. I always read these and am inspired to write my own ARR which I then promptly fail to update and it dies horribly at a young age. Now with my two cents added to the pot I will withdraw into lurkedom once more.
 

geauxtigers

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Against my better judgement I have decided to do an AAR(yes I do realize I repeatedly said ARR), which will use the Random Nation button in a different way. I will use it to decide my first country which I will play and then if/when that country dies I will take advantage of the wonderful button to choose my next one.
 

Athalcor

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Against my better judgement I have decided to do an AAR(yes I do realize I repeatedly said ARR), which will use the Random Nation button in a different way. I will use it to decide my first country which I will play and then if/when that country dies I will take advantage of the wonderful button to choose my next one.

I've always wondered, what exactly people think ARR stands for because ARR is much more popular in these forums than, let's say, seige or similar misspellings.
 

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Once again yet another update that had me rolling. I thought everything would be smooth sailing with Persia done and now that you're westernized. But of course the Turk decided to step in.

If only Morrocco or Russia could help and the Mughals too.

Loved the FIFA references by the way. The World Cup is usually the only time I even bother watching soccer, mostly because I'm the typical American that simply doesn't understand the sport lol....I'm sure if I actually sat down and watched it more frequently I'd get into it though.
 

AsdfeZxcas

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I've always wondered, what exactly people think ARR stands for because ARR is much more popular in these forums than, let's say, seige or similar misspellings.

After-Ragequit-Report?
 

Athalcor

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After-Ragequit-Report?

The other two teories are
- the piratey nature of the posters
- the noise they make when they are dealt with yet another surprise the game bestowed upon them...that reinforces your theory as well.
 

eternien

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Aaargh, football reference ! :eek:hmy:
Do not comput..emergency...emergency....biiiiiiip ---\_______

Beside the fact i don't really understand some foot ref (because i hate this thing) congrats for
the westernization and good luck with the Ottos.
 

AsdfeZxcas

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The other two teories are
- the piratey nature of the posters
- the noise they make when they are dealt with yet another surprise the game bestowed upon them...that reinforces your theory as well.
Teories? Hipocracy much? Yes, it's misspelt on purpose.
 

AsdfeZxcas

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Hipocracy would literally mean "mousetrap rule" :p

SOON!

mousetrap.jpg



That was the joke...
 

Idhrendur

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It was good to see westernization complete, but that war against the Ottomans is gonna be brutal.
 

Selzro

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I just finished reading it and I'd like to add my voice of approval to the rest of the commenters. Highly entertaining. :)
 

juckil

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I began reading this thread a few days ago and I'm finally up to date. It's certainly the best AAR I've read, it's a great unique idea and written with great humour :D I look forward to seeing what's next for Yemen!
 

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COMMENT: I was on vacation last week, but now we're back!


Darkath: :)

Athalcor: FIA. Isn't that a car? Hm. Wait, that's Fiat.

Chief Ragusa: You'll be happy to know Morocco did get into the war!

Homusubi: I think the Ottos won before the opening whistle.

Stuyvesant: Yes, I did try to stick the Negev to the Ottos. They didn't appreciate that.

Spockyt: Well, in my defense pretty much everything I know about football comes down to the World Cup.

geauxtigers: You must be a pirate at heart. "ARRR!" Good luck with your Random AAR - of course if you have a reasonably strong nation, it may NEVER die so you might be with it the entire game.

Athalcor: ARR is more popular than seige, because pirates are more popular than artillerists.

tnick0225: I'm in the same boat: This is the only time I pay attention to football (soccer). Some of the games are interesting, but I have trouble wrapping my mind around a 90 minute game that can easily end in a 0-0 tie.

AsdfeZxcas: Maybe!

Athalcor: Now we just need some ninjas to take on the pirates. And zombies to take on the ninjas for that matter. Hm, I see a theme coming up...

eternien: I will take all the help I can get against the Ottos

Asdfezxcas: Who are you calling a hippo?

.Hobbes: Rule by mousetrap would be an improvement in some countries I could name.

Idhrendur: Yes...brutal is a good word for it.

Selzro: Thanks! Glad you're enjoying it.

juckil: Lots of pain and death!
 

CatKnight

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CHAPTER XIX: YEMEN
Part 5: Elimination Round
(1720-1725)


Under terms of an agreement between the United States Soccer Federation (USSF) and the Federation Internationale de Football Association (FIFA), I am obligated to allow FIFA to use this post for its own promotional purposes without recompense or any gratuity of any sorts.

Yes, still. These people are scary.



Biting Off More Than We Can Chew


We have made the round of sixteen, but we've lost our best player (Mughals) until late in the match for biting Persia. For all intents and purposes it's just Oman and us, versus the Ottomans, Portugal and Morocco. Yeah, they showed up to the match as well. I don't know when they allied with Portugal or why, but we're not going to win this one.

My new plan is to conserve what I can. My trading fleet is already in Oman. While our battle fleet blockades/holds the Persian Gulf (and the Oman fleet soon shows up to help), I move everyone to Bahrain.

172001Bahrain_zps533f3f10.jpg


The plan is to try to maintain local naval superiority: I don't see the Ottos sending that many ships over here to hunt me down. If I can keep them from taking Bahrain, I can conserve my army. Let the Ottos take Negev and begin rebuilding.

What can go wrong?

Well, before January 1720 ends a peasant revolt breaks out in Suhar. Fortunately they're only interested in reducing taxes, because there is zero I can do about them.

During the spring my local despots comment that, as long as I'm holed up on Bahrain anyway, maybe I'd like to share some power?

172004NatInstitutions_zps3da9ae75.jpg


Good idea. Go build local militias to fight off the Ottos and let me know how that goes.

Needless to say it's going bad. Negev falls in May. I try to peace out with the Ottos, but of course they're not interested in anything I have to say. They're quite willing to go around sieging everything in sight. Moroccans and Turks in my Egyptian holdings, Portuguese and Turks in 'Ethiopia', and lots and lots of Ottos in the Arab peninsula.

Disease breaks out in one of my provinces. Probably syphillis from the invading armies. Thanks guys.

By August, my entire remaining army of 26K is in Bahrain. I had tried recruiting some extra troops to make up for my losses last turn, but the Ottos took two regiments out before I could do anything. The last successfully made it to Qawasim where they fled by sea.

The successful evacuation leads to some odd conclusions:

172009ArmyGrand_zps3d6a97b2.jpg


We've also completed building the ships we ordered last turn to replace those lost fighting Persia. Unfortunately, they're blockaded by 32 Portuguese vessels. I merge the battle fleet with our traders (33 total ships) and go to their rescue. The Portuguese leave. Hah! We bring everyone back to port: The traders at Muscat, Oman and the battlefleet back to the Persian Gulf.

That's when a Persian agent is captured trying to sabotage our reputation. So much for the truce! We dress him up in a Yemeni uniform and put him in the path of the Ottoman army.


Red Card

By January 1721, well...there was never any hope. 10 provinces have fallen including the holy cities of Mecca and Medina, and still the Turk isn't satisfied. The tax revolters in Suhar win, but immediately get crushed by an Ottoman army of 13K.

In April I notice their army has dispersed a bit and launch a raid from Bahrain into Qatar across the strait. 25K versus 10K, and early results are promising. If reinforcements come I'll just retreat across my strait, and...

...that's when 46 Turk ships show up to battle our 22. They completely annihilate our fleet.

Reinforcements cause my army to rout to Gonder in Ethiopia. They reach it in August. I immediately begin retreating towards Funj to wait out the war, but the local Turk garrisons are too fast and pin me down. 41K versus my 16K, and the last remnants flee to the Portuguese border...where a last Turk army annihilates them in October.

No army, and only a handful of merchant ships hanging out in Muscat. This actually saves my economy, which was starting to go in the red due to lost provinces. Still, this is the exact opposite of what I wanted.

There is zero point in building, and nowhere to build if I wanted to.

172201Ow_zps111e0060.jpg


Strangely, people are beginning to doubt my ability to manage this crisis.

172204Destabilized_zps4ac64df4.jpg


The Turk are pitiless in their advance, leading to wide spread suffering. War exhaustion is high, stability is low, and the people are desperate.

172207Charity_zpsb01ec993.jpg


Good. Desperate people form armies that will keep the Turks occupied.

The referee signals an end to regular time. Our entire country (except Socotra) is occupied, which means now it's up to the Mughals.

172212Championship_zpsdd5bc496.jpg



Plus Time

With Muscat occupied, our merchant fleet first snuck to the Mughal/Portuguese border in India. Seeing that under siege, I tried to retreat to Kilwa, when they ran smack into the 32 Portuguese fleet I missed earlier. No more merchant fleet.

Now we had literally zero army and zero navy. The Ottos finally take pity and send us a peace offer in August 1723.

172308PeaceOffer_zps30902294.jpg


No.

Why not? Well, it's a 100% warscore peace. I can't stop them, so yes - the Ottos will eventually get all that anyway, but I might as well make them earn it. Drive their WE up just a little more, make them just a little more tempting a target. What else can they do to me?

The smart thing, of course, would be to peace out with the Mughals (who have little or nothing they want) and I immediately go to 99 or 100% warscore. They don't however, and so the war rages on.

By January 1724, that fight is pretty hopeless as well.

172401Mughals_zpse4e32ce6.jpg


The Ottos offer peace in January. Same terms. No.

The Ottos offer peace in February. Same terms. No.

In April a foreign military expert offers to tell us what we're doing wrong.

172404ForeignExpert_zps919126f7.jpg


According to him, our problem is we don't have an army or navy. I think I overpaid.

In June it's Morocco who wants out - a white peace. This one I accept. Instantly we regain a province as do the Mughals

The Ottos offer peace in June. Same terms. No. I'm hoping to be out of here before I'm forced to a sign a humiliating peace.

July, August, September, October, November. No.

In December we hit Diplomacy-16 (Merchantmen), for all the good it does us now.

By the end of 1724, it's just a matter of time.

172412Mughals_zps3147fbe0.jpg


Well, that's been true since the war began.


Johan's Dice

Reign: 25 years
Needed: 6+
Roll: 2
Continue?: No


FIFA decides they've seen enough and we're eliminated from the tourney.
 

CatKnight

Disciple of Peperna
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INTERLUDE XIII (1725)

So, we've left Yemen...

172512Yemen_zps6731b48c.jpg


A flaming pile of dung. We were doing fine until the Ottos, Morocco and Portugal came by. I wish I could stay around and help them recover.

Haha. Just kidding. Time to fly!

As mentioned earlier, Mali finally decided to have it out with Kanem Bornu:

172512Mali_zps0929f1dc.jpg


Not a complete victory, but solid nonetheless. The Dutch are applying pressure from the west. Oyo, on the Portuguese border, is westernized and quite advanced: More advanced than Yemen, for one.

Moving to SE Asia...
172512SEAsia_zps3cf8b33c.jpg


Malacca never really had a chance with their severe tech deficiency. Ayutthaya may own Java however, but they're going to have a great deal of trouble reclaiming the continent from a resurgent Khmer.

On to China...
172512Manchuria_zpsc9cca072.jpg


Japan has had trouble with a recumbent Korea for awhile now. Now they have a bigger problem: Russia. The Russians have taken Manchuria and are pushing into the Chinese heartland. They are serious about dominating the Pacific.

172512NewZealand_zps631c1edf.jpg


Very, very serious.

On to North America:

172512ENorthAmerica_zps89f2f84a.jpg


Brittany is tearing Shawnee apart. Creek and Cherokee have already broken free of them.

Catalan Canada has curved around Hudson Bay to what we consider the Manitoba/Nunavut border. Florida seems to be ignoring the Iroquois and pushing west.

In Central America, the Aztec have taken care of revolting Mayans and Zapotec, but with Portuguese Mexico controlling the coast they have nowhere to go.

South America:

172512SAmerica_zps34a00c73.jpg


The Brits are focusing heavily on the Argentine. Actually this is developing the opposite of the real world, with Spain dominating North America and Britain (as well as the Netherlands) pushing in the south.

Let's see how Europe's doing.

172512Europe_zps8061d337.jpg


Not much movement: Spain and Poland are currently smashing Denmark. The Ottos have pushed into the Carpathians.

So, where to now? I wouldn't mind a second run at Russia. Spain. Ottos. Just not Malacca please.

172212Portugal_zps8438db76.jpg


...

Really...

Hm.

In all my time with EU2/3/4, I don't think I've ever played with a true colonial empire. This should be interesting...