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    Real Strategy Requires Cunning

ArchimedesBird

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Maybe just let themselves attrition themselves to death in the endless deserts? The "scorch earth" button is quite useful if you can ever remember it (I generally remember that it's an option just after I lose my entire army).
Other than that, this is both interesting and hilarious, keep it up.
 

Stuyvesant

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Ya'rub II is a decent strategist - and not much else. He's not well liked: Not only because he insists on rivalries with nations more powerful than Oman, but because he's trying to balance an Anti-Piracy Act with supporting Privateers. Perhaps they're only pirates if they're not Omanli?

Actually, this is perfectly reasonable: privateers are official - they have the nice-looking bit of paper to show for it ("By order of Sultan so-and-so, bearer is duly authorized to murder, rape and pillage his way across the Seven Seas"). Pirates are just undocumented workers, who steal jobs from honest, hard-working Omanis (pirate Omanis, but still...) and undercut the overall wage-level by being willing to work for less than the official minimum wage. Really, it's just a matter of fairness and, possibly, border security.

Now, as far as the war is concerned... I admire your tenacity. Lesser people (i.e. me) would've given up a long time ago. It looks like you still have a slim chance to end this on any other note than utter defeat, and that is an impressive achievement, considering how often the Yemenis have wiped out your armies so far. Good job with your fleets. It's a nice image to picture Bahrain as a fortified army/naval base from which you're going to strike with holy vengeance. Any day now...
 

CatKnight

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tnick0225: Ha! The Yemeni will cower and beg for mercy before I am through with them!

Chief Ragusa: First Iraq, then Yemen, then to top it off SWEDEN!!

Nikolai: The blood of the innocent nourishes the desert sand generating lots of uhm...scorpions! Big red ones! Big red OMANI scorpions!

McGrey: There is! The closest translation seems to be 'crossing your fingers' to wish someone luck! Frankly tucking your thumb is alot easier! No matter, we don't need luck! We need ships!

Saintrl: Tech rushing would be nice, but first we must crush the Iraqi! We will kill the women, eat the children and rape the cattle! In that order!

GreatUberGeek: Of course it's real! What do you think this is? A strategic simulation?

Seelmeister: Who would've thought we'd be in the middle of a Monty Python skit? No matter, we shall prevail!

ArchimedesBird: Ah, there you are! Yes! We shall scorch the desert! Let them eat sand! Burnt sand! (With just a touch of olive oil)

Stildawn: Welcome! Welcome! You are just in time for me to conquer Sweden!!

Stuyvesant: Ah, you are right my friend! No doubt all the privateers are working for our admiral, and all the evil job-stealing pirates are working for the Yemeni! We will have to teach them a lesson!

Idhrendur: Wait no longer!
 

CatKnight

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CHAPTER XII: OMAN
Part 2: The Mad Emir
(1620-1625)


Fortress Bahrain

You will have to forgive me. I'm a little unwell. At least that's what the doctors whisper behind my back when they think I can't hear. Fools! I shall crush them all! First Yemen, then Iraq, then my doctors, then that reader in the corner who thinks he can get away without commenting yes I'm talking about you say something goddamnit!!!

And who can blame me for being a little upset? It's those damn Iraqi! And Yemeni! And so forth. They refuse to get the message! How many times do I have to tell them that they aren't getting into Bahrain, and without Bahrain they've got nothing!

Where to begin. Ah yes, I took the wonderful advice to scorch earth the whole country! I took a loan, hired a musketeer, and sent him around burning everything in sight! I'm not sure how you burn a desert, but you know what? We did it!

I also sent Admiral Jomaa to find the Yemeni fleet and SINK IT! But no - their 22 ships hung out at Aden like leeches on the side of their emir's face, may Allah grant him a long and miserable death.

Fine. By June 1620 our fleet was back patrolling Bahrain and daring Iraq's cute little three ship navy to try something! They fear us though. They fear our ships! All 31 of them! We must trick them into coming out though, oh yes, so other than picking up our musketeer/scorcher the navy spends most of its time in Bahrain.

In August the Persians decide to be cute. They send Shi'ite zealots into Al Haasa, the nearest Iraqi province. Too bad Iraq's already Shi'ite! I'm not sure what happens to them, but it happens quickly and makes no difference whatsoever. Perhaps they got bored and went home.

So we spend the autumn of 1620 watching those Iraqi and Yemeni fools trying to eat scorched sands when the British come calling! They've finally decided colonizing might be fun, and would I grant them MA so they can beat on Marathas for awhile? Why not? What could possibly go wrong with a bunch of Brits running around India?

In December 1620 Sohar falls, and this convinces some genius that our naval research is all wrong! FOOL! Our navy is the only thing that's going right in this war! Off with his head!

Where was I? Oh, well 1621 is quiet. We send our musketeers around scorching everything again. Admiral Jomaa checks in on Aden, but the Yemeni are still cowards! Liwa falls, and that's about when the loans begin! Apparently maintaining a full army and navy costs money! Who knew? By the end of this round we will have TWENTY EIGHT loans pending! Not to worry though! Once we figure out how to drill for and refine oil, those loans will be a thing of the past! And if you think we're joining some sort of petroleum exporting organizations that involve Yemen, well they can kiss my scorched sandy tail!

March 1622. Time to patrol! Jomaa catches the Yemeni navy out of port and chases them all the way to Sinai! It's not worth maintaining a blockade though, so he goes home. Our fleet is truly the pride of our nation!

162206NavalTrad_zpseb7bf929.jpg


I just said that!!


Never Say Die

Finally the Iraqi do something about the war that, you know, THEY started and seize Beni Yas. Good for you guys. We still have Qatar. More importantly, we still have Bahrain! You will never set one foot on Bahrain, scum! Is it holy! It is uhm...surrounded by water! And boats! Lots of boats! Most of them used to belong to you and your Yemeni buddy!

162308BattleRedSea_zps85010266.jpg


Hahaha! Thanks for the donation, weasels! Do you want out of the war yet? No? Well to heck with you. And we aren't even going to bother asking your little Iraqi buddies!

In fact, to show our contempt for you, let's take Administration-13 AND Military-14! Does it do any good? Does it matter? Some European 'Men of Science' seem to think so and we invite them in for -25 piety! Don't worry though, we get 10 of it back when we fast for Ramadan!

In December 1623 Qatar falls! Yemen doesn't want peace. I'm not TALKING to Iraq! I have 36 ships, 12 regiments, 20-odd loans and no cash! I am above such petty negotiations. Let it all burn! It's a desert, it's practically on fire anyway!

This appalls the Brits, who cancel their MA in June 1624. Who needs them?

162412WarWeary_zpsa35c1a5a.jpg


And you know what? Who needs our peasants!? War weary my butt! I'll TELL YOU when it's time to be weary of war! Or wary for that matter! We have our island! We have food, wine, women, oil and a FLEET! I'm the emir! Do you hear me? Get that white coat away from me! I'm the emir! I'm the...


Johan's Dice

Reign: 10 years
Roll Needed: 3+
Roll: 2
Continue: No


This AAR is experiencing technical difficulties. Please stand by.
 

unmerged(58610)

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A stay in Oman mercifully cut short.

If this AAR is ended due to technical gremlins, you must be fortified anew to try to build the Teutonic Order into something mighty.
 

SacredDatura

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That was an entertaining couple of turns as Oman! You made the most of a terrible situation. Would have liked to see how you get out of that financial pickle, but I suppose it was not to be.

Who's next?
 

GreatUberGeek

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I keep on expecting a static screen on my iPad now...
 

Avindian

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I think he was joking, in the sense of an old US TV show that would cut to that scene when something the censors wouldn't allow popped up. :)
 

Seelmeister

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I think he was joking, in the sense of an old US TV show that would cut to that scene when something the censors wouldn't allow popped up. :)

Ah, I did wonder. So the technical issue is a heated discussion with Johan about his dice!

Damn US cultural references ;)
 

Stuyvesant

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Ah yes, I took the wonderful advice to scorch earth the whole country! I took a loan, hired a musketeer, and sent him around burning everything in sight! I'm not sure how you burn a desert, but you know what? We did it!

Ask Saddam Hussein (oh wait, you can't, not anymore). It's simply a matter of blowing up the well heads and letting the oil and gas burn. Plenty of that stuff to go around for a nice pyrotechnic display. What do you mean, oil extraction hasn't been invented yet? Well, then your musketeers will just have to dig, dig, dig (or drill, baby, drill) until they hit the motherlode and set it on fire right there and then. Although escaping a hand-dug, miles-deep oil well while flames are raging around you might be a bit tricky... I'm rambling here.

Anyway, I hope that that the technical difficulties have more to do with the human side of in the interaction (take a deep breath, remember the good times spreading Russian 'civilization' across Siberia and amongst uppity peasants) and less with machine or software-related matters. If the game's bugged up, Chief Ragusa's suggestion is particularly cruel and surely not helpful for your mental state. :)
 

AsdfeZxcas

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I bet you get Yemen next.:p
 

Idhrendur

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then that reader in the corner who thinks he can get away without commenting yes I'm talking about you say something goddamnit!!!

And that's why I always say something, even if it's useless and shallow.

Also, curse those dice! Or is it bless them for getting you out of there?
 

McGrey

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It's sad, that Johan send you away. We will miss our insane Emir! He was so likable! And... and... naval. But you left him in quite a good state, though. He sill has Bahrain. And... and... Bahrains Oil. Somewhere. Deep deep under the oceans. That he rule! Thanks to his glorious navy! So not everything is lost jet! Rule Oman, Omanis rule the seas!