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Oh those rebels stopping a war with the KBs. it speaks volumes about your start when a 1/1/1 is a major improvement. A 1/6/6 is much better, but the over extension penalty will continue and, I surmise, a lack of nice increase to admin power events. I think I agree with your clerics. Letting those Castillian scientists is but the thin end of the wedge. You "know" what is going to happen. You will fight KB and be doing really well. The turn will end and you move on to another country. You'll load up for fun to see what has happened to Mali and find it reduced to a rump with most of it ruled by lions armed with rocket launchers calling itself KB.

I think even Prawnstar who laughs at rebels most of us would be daunted by would find himself tested by 100k.
 

Stuyvesant

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I'm impressed with Mali's momentum. Granted, it's not exactly all forward momentum (it's more like an up-and-down, left-and-right momentum), but definitely momentum. :)

You get at least one more stab at raising Mali to (temporary) greatness. I look forward to it, you seem poised for a nice war with the Kanem Bornuese rocket-launching lion pride, and I'm also looking forward to your switch - finding out what AI madness you get to inherit. :p
 

coz1

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Nice CatKnight. I agree with Stuyvesant, any AAR that tries a (some-what) Storey related goal is tops in my book. I tried years ago with The Holy Trinity in Vicki. It was a lot of fun. Seems as though the die wants you to stay in Mali, however. Interesting though it may be, I am ready to see you move on and get in with another country. Blasted dice. ;) Good luck.
 

BBBD316

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Really enjoyed your TO AAR.

I think I will be quite sad once the dice do make you leave Mali as I am really enjoying this AAR, can't wait for you to unlock the lion wielding rocket launcher tech.
 

CatKnight

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Nikolai: See Danasher's reply.

Danasher: How did you know??

Chief Ragusa: I'm afraid your prophecy may come true. If not Kanem Bornu, then maybe Songhai will want to try again.

Stuyvesant: Yep. It's been a fun run so far, though I can see the day where Mali runs out of local enemies. At least to the Euros show up.

coz1: Hm, don't think I ever read Holy Trinity. Now I'll have to look for it!

BBBD316: Unfortunately I need alot of military points to unlock lion-wielding rocket launcher tech. I'll keep trying though.
 

CatKnight

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CHAPTER I: MALI
Part 4: The Black and the Red (1460-1465)


Final Preparations

When last we left our heroes, we were on the way to deal with an Ashanti rebellion while waiting for Tadmekka to core. While Uli II marched south to deal with the former, we entered a royal marriage with Hausa. Why? Well, they're not on our hit list, we don't have any diplomatic relations elsewhere, and it won't hurt to be civil. Especially as I think it helps our legitimacy, which suffered when Uli switched to a Tribal Federation.

In February 1460, Ashanti nationalists breached the walls of Kumasi. In March Uli arrived and put them to the .. spear. He then rushed back to the Kanem Bornu border.

Artisans continued to express their disappointment that sand painting isn't an art form. Uli recants his father's pronouncement, allowing sand paintings to be sold tax free. We are at Stab 0, and I can afford the 87.7 gold this cost.

In September Tadmekka cored, reducing our overextension to 48. We then send officials to Kumasi to explain the benefits of coring to them as well, a task not completed by the end of this session.

Later that month we form an alliance with Hausa, again 'cuz. Plus, Hausa has reason to hate Kanem Bornu, and maybe they'd like in on the action. Then we declare war.

146009KanemBornuWar_zpse083a1c6.jpg



Elephant Stomping

In September we invade. Hausa decides they'd rather do their nails. Fine. Zambar, Katsina and Gobir, the three border provinces, are under siege by November. We smash a newly raised regiment before it can organize. 3,000 Kanem-Bornu...Bornites? Bornians? march on Katsina from Terra Incognita, later known as Damagaram. Uli crushed them, then chased them all the way to the capital at Bornu, destroy the K-Bs, and siege the city that February.

Through 1461 Kanem Bornu keeps raising units in Damagaram, quickly crushed by Uli. Their last attempt, in August, sees two mercenary regiments raised as K-B's manpower fails. We kill them too.

By September Gobir, Zamfara and Bornu fall. Katsina's delayed because they've fallen below full strength. The Zamfaran regiment discovers Kano, the province to the east, defeats a newly raised regiment and sieges there as well.

The K-Bs are tricky though. One of their regiments tried to sneak around the uncontrolled lands to the south of our nations and ran into three thousand angry natives. Another regiment snuck into Zamfara. We can easily afford it, and I don't want to lose momentum, so I raise 5 mercenary regiments to guard our rear. I don't trust my other general, Traore.

In December 1461, peasants in Kano decide they don't like either one of us, and rise up in revolt easily annihilating my sieging force. Fortunately they'll sit there for the duration of the war.

146112Battles_zps60c2e875.jpg

146201WarUpdate_zps3a28847d.jpg


In January 1462 the mercs relieve Zanfara, then move north to finish the siege in Katsina. This annoys Maliese patriots, who apparently still don't realize we're all on the same side of the cultural war, and they revolt in Gobir. This is when I decide it's time to get out of this war, especially since conquering/vassalizing Kanem Bornu would take 129% war score.

Damagaram falls in May, Katsina in July. In addition we have two provinces east of Bornu under siege. Since we can't force them to bend their knee, I only have one other way to permanently weaken K-B. That's to take some of their land.

146207Peace_zpsf2c146d5.jpg


This was almost certainly a mistake. My overextension is at 72% again, and while I don't give a rat's tail about my reaction penalty for being overaggressive, my peasants do. I kindly explain to them that I have no reason to go to war with them. They say "Yeah? Watch this."


Year of the Rebels

First thing's first though, and that's to deal with the patriots I just inherited in Gobir. Uli's army, reinforced by our mercenaries, descends upon them in October. Not a big deal. We chase them to Katsina in November. Still okay. Then in December another patriot revolt breaks out in Zamfara, just in time to take in the last refugees of the first patriot army. Uli loses.

That's when the Ashanti decide they'd like to try again, and start a revolt of their own. Some peasants also offer a petition of redress which I could either ignore to trigger a third rebellion, or lose some prestige.

I'm stubborn. I'm not stupid. Yes, I know they sound alike. My wife confuses the two when she talks about me as well.

Okay, enough of this crap. It's January 1463, I'm well aware my RR is even worse than when I started with Mali, and there's only a 33% chance I'm continuing with Mali past 1465. I'm going to give the AI the best chance I can. TWELVE mercenary regiments - and it's a testament to my economy that I'm still operating at a profit after hiring them. My army swells to 25,000 (not including my replenishing manpower).

In May Uli II smashes the Ashanti. I replenish Traore's army and he smashes the patriots for me in June. Following the two victories I consolidate merc regiments to try and save some money, but the entire army still has 31 regiments.

I'm just beginning to relax, and watching the Kano peasants overrun most of Kanem Bornu, when pretenders rise up in Futa Jallon. These worthies follow 'Abd al-Rahman Tuore, who shouldn't be confused with Uli's son, 'Abd al-Rahman Keita. Tuore has A1 D5 M6 - not quite as good as my little boy. Uli can't allow this insult to pass, comes over and explains things to the pretender.

146211RebelsGoneWild_zps2b766bc2.jpg



Sunset

Most of 1464 passes quietly. Our ivory, taken from Kanem Bornu elephants, is high quality and worth +1 prestige. The Sunni find out we have another animist in our government, and we still don't care losing 25 piety in the bargain.

In October, 8,000 MORE patriots rise up in Gobir. Fortunately Traore has hit his stride and deals with it, though they spend the rest of the turn ping-ponging between Traore and the K-B peasants.

That's when the Ashanti decide to try yet again. I have Uli's army one province away. No problem.

It is now March 1465, a tad late. Let's see what the dice say.


Johan's Dice:

Length of reign: 21 years
Roll to continue: 2
Continue? (Y/N): (Need 5+) No

Right.

Okay, we leave Mali in a precarious position. That last landgrab may have been a mistake, but I had to try.

Rebels are going to be a problem for a long time due to Uli's horrible administration. Given how nasty rebels are in EU4, I suspect Chief Ragusa's prophecy may come true and I won't be happy when I look in on Mali in a few years.

But...if Mali can hold on long enough and spend 20 or 30 years consolidating and getting everything under control, then their future is very bright. Their economy is strong enough to fund one of the largest militaries in the world. Tech will always be an issue, but if they can hold on, they might be strong enough to give even the Western Europeans something to think about.
 

CatKnight

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INTERLUDE I: (1465)

And so, we bid a fond farewell to Mali and wish them the best of luck in what promises to be an interesting few decades.

146503InterludeMali_zps9884c446.jpg



I imagine you're as curious as I am, so we'll look in on Europe on our way to our new home.

146503InterludeEurope_zpsed8d9d2c.jpg


Remember Lucky Nations are off. I'll let you decide whether this is a good thing or not. It's certainly different.


So, where do we land? We are heading eastward. No, farther east than that. No, farther...

146503InterludeLanXang_zpsf8acfd62.jpg


...to Lan Xang. How bad can it be?
 

BBBD316

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I demand that someone on the forums creates a rWo video riping off the nWo.

An AAR as good as this deserves its own entrance music.
 

AndreasPhokas

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Subbed.

I hope you left mali in a stable enough state to survive the European storm even in a reduced state. Ayutthaya seems to have rebel issues, something you can take advantage of!
 

ben_mit_b

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That went from bad to worse I guess. Mali might be backwards but at least is somewhat in a save position in the beginning but Lan Xang has the potential to get roflstomped xD
 

Nikolai

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Lan Xang? Uh. Oh. Pray Ming doesn't get a claim...
 

Stuyvesant

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This was almost certainly a mistake. My overextension is at 72% again, and while I don't give a rat's tail about my reaction penalty for being overaggressive, my peasants do. I kindly explain to them that I have no reason to go to war with them. They say "Yeah? Watch this."

...

I'm stubborn. I'm not stupid. Yes, I know they sound alike. My wife confuses the two when she talks about me as well.

Ah, rebel-bashing. Sounds like a good time. If you didn't hate them when they first showed their revolting faces, you sure will by the time they spawn for the umpteenth time. :)

Oh, and a mention of the missus? This truly is turning more Storey-esque with every update. Will you start referring to your better half as 'She Who Must Not Be Named'? ;)

EDIT: Good luck with Lan Xang. I suspect this might be a brief tenure...
 

unmerged(58610)

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Lan Xang? Oh crap! Oh look someone in a worse position than the Teutonic Order. You left Mali in a larger state than you found it with a nice large army, but bigger revolt risk. The ai has the annoying habit of disbanding armies and Uli is far outclassed to have only a small army and lots of revolts. Rahman could cope with his mil 6, but his ADM 1 means he's going to need all that. Someone with 3 across the board would be more hopeful for survival. Rahman could well conquer the whole of West Africa. If Uli survives too long which is what poor rulers tend to do, not hopeful for when you decide to check up on them again.

Lan Xang. Who has claims on your territory? Does Ming? Royal marriage and good relations with Ming seem essential and hope the Manchu are going to cause them all sorts of problems. No conquest of Khmer and Dai Viet (what are the welsh doing out here?). Oh no.
 

tnick0225

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Had Mali going on a big run! And it was entertaining reading your Malian adventure, but Lan Xang??? Boy oh boy this should be even funner I'd imagine :)
 

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BBBD316: You've very kind. What song should we use? '(Going down in a) Blaze of Glory'?

AndreasPhokas: Ayutthaya's the big problem in this region. Hopefully we can take advantage.

ben_mit_b: Lan Xang is going to be...interesting.

Nikolai: I didn't even check for Ming. Everyone else has a claim though!

Stuyvesant: I prefer my rebels in other countries!

Chief Ragusa: Khmer, Ayutthaya and Dai Viet all have claims on us. My initial thought when looking at the map was that Khmer or Lan Na might be a fair match. The others...not so much.

tnick0225: Define 'fun.'
 

CatKnight

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CHAPTER II: LAN XANG
Part 1: That was Fun. (1465-1470)


Welcome to Lan Xang!

The Kingdom of Lan Xang Hom Kaho (Million elephants under the white parasol) was founded in 1354 by Prince Fa Ngum of Khmer. The 'million elephants' are exaggerated, but represents the strength of the army he used to conquer. His descendants built a nation that lasted despite repeated invasions until 1707. After that they split and become dominated by regional powers, eventually becoming the modern nation of Laos.

Obviously they didn't have me in charge.

146503Ruler_zpsd51169d4.jpg


Instead we have Sai Tia Kaphut Khun Lo. He is much more capable than his Maliese equal, but his 35 year old heir is a problem. Perhaps that's why they call him "kaput." Er... "Kaphut."

We are not a large nation, but we can cause some trouble if we choose. Which we do. Our army is 6,000 strong: 3,000 East Asian Longbowmen and 3,000 East Asian Cav.

This is obviously going to take more diplomacy than Mali, so I take a long look at my neighbors. Once you unravel the threads, we basically have two alliances:

Ayutthaya, their vassal Khmer (who they will annex in 1471), Dai Viet and Shan: Not including Shan, who's too far away to care about right away, they have 25,600 men with 20,500 reserve (manpower). All three are in a coalition against Ming, and Ayutthaya/Khmer have a truce with Aceh. They pretty much don't care for...

....Pegu, Lan Na and Lan Xang. Together we have 14,000 men under arms with 35,900 in reserve. Lan Xang is part of the anti-Ming coalition. For now, whatever. It might prove useful.

Our diplomats are trying to improve the opinion of Lan Na and, for some reason, the Oirat Horde. Instead one goes to Dai Viet (who doesn't like us, but maybe I can make them indifferent). I take a mission to Placate Ming, but at some point we've already influenced them as much as we can. And they still don't like us. In the words of the Ming ambassador, "You're in the way."

We have one merchant in Siam, the other idle. I'm not sure why, as Canton is in range so the second merchant goes there.

My strategy is this: We cannot allow Khmer to be diploannexed. Ayutthaya already doesn't like us and I need to weaken them before they solve that rebel problem of theirs.

In March 1465 therefore, I use my second diplomat to forge a claim on Khmer. They're the weak point in the enemy alliance. If I attack them, Ayutthaya will of course jump in. I'm hoping my allies will show up, and since I'm not really attacking Ayutthaya itself, they won't call theirs in.

It's looking hopeful: Pretenders seize their capital in September. The Ayutthayans begin countersieging, but that'll take time. Oooh, another pretender rebellion has begun in northern Dai Viet, AND Shan has dragged Ayutthaya/Khmer into a war against Bengal! I will never have a better chance. We recruit 6,000 more men - I can dismiss some after the war - and declare war in November 1466.

146610DoWKhmer_zpsa6f5d9ce.jpg


Lan Na joins my side after a friendly 'Call to Arms.' Strangely I don't have that option with Pegu. Ayutthaya calls in Dai Viet, Shan and Taungu.

Have you ever known you've made a huge mistake the second you clicked the mouse button? Have you ever looked longingly at the 'X' on your window - as in close this game, pretend it never happened and try again? Yeah.


ROFLstomp

Definition: (verb, informal) To defeat comprehensively and humiliatingly, especially in a computer game. - Macmillan Dictionary

Just so we're all on the same page.

So, we declare war and my commanders inform me Land Tech is useless. Seeing what's coming our way, I believe them and lose 50 military points. We siege Khorat with 12,000 in northern Khmer. 10,000 Dai Viet soldiers move into Stung Treng on our south. 1,000 Khmerians siege Champossak (just to the north) and are doing better than my 12K. I break off 1K to disrupt their siege, so the Dai Viets bring in another 1,000 to make it 1 on 2. We're crushed.

By September 1467 the Dai Viet pretenders have either won or given up. Regardless, they're gone. Stung Treng and Vientiane fall, followed by Champossak in November.

By December Khorat falls. I have a choice - go deeper into Khmer, or try to chase these idiots out of my kingdom. I'm probably closer to surrendering then they are, so let's see if I can do some damage. The Ayutthayans have 6,000 men in Thakhok. I attack with my 12...

...Days later Dai Viet shows up with their 10,000 men. We put up a decent fight, but not good enough and flee towards the capital of Luang Prabang.

146712Trashed_zps2e1e0854.jpg


It's January 1468, and I'm feeling about how I feel when Kat stomps into the office over some minor transgression like forgetting to put the empty cans in her bin for crushing and redeeming the aluminum rather than the trash. At that point my only real hope for a sane evening is to act cute and sweet.

EU4 doesn't do cute and sweet. It doesn't do "I'm sorry" either, because we're beyond the point where the AI will consider even an unreasonable peace. That's part of the problem with the new peace system: Once you're losing fairly badly, there is literally nothing you can offer the AI to placate it until it's finished stomping on you and imposing terms.

So in January I watch my last army get chased into Luang Prabang and annihilated. I don't raise any more. With 20,000 enemies running loose through my country, there's no point. I do notice the option for 'Call to Arms' is now available for Pegu, but of course since I'm losing decisively they don't want in.

Lan Na falls to Shan. Fortunately for them, they're not on Ayutthaya's list.

146802LanNasavesself_zpse93ecee5.jpg


I spend the next two years watching the screen. They retake Khorat in August, then two of my provinces through 1469. I use up Dip and Admin points to get my War Exhaustion to 0 and Stability to 3. We're losing, but at least we're losing very calmly. Serenity, that's the core of Buddhism and we're getting in lots of practice.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Feel better? Neither do I.

Now my advisors are complaining we should have a more stable government. Probably something to do with being chased out of the capital. I agree and give them 50 Admin points to shut up.

In July 1469 I leave the anti-Ming coalition, because if Ming wants to come down and stomp on these guys, who am I to stand in their way? In fact, I guarantee Ming's independence which makes their ambassador ROFL.

147001WarStatus_zps7eb4afcb.jpg


It is now January 1470. We're just waiting for Ayutthaya to get bored and impose terms. Will we still be here?


Johan's Dice:

Length of reign: 5 years
Roll to continue: 5
Continue? (Y/N): (Need 2+) Yes

Lovely.
 
Last edited:

tnick0225

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tnick0225: Define 'fun.'

'Fun' in this case is reading the aftermath of the ROFLstomp. :) I'm sure it was a headache to deal with playing but its fun reading and the way you write it well...makes it even more fun.

Hopefully Lan Xang is still kicking after those other guys push their peace upon ya. Too bad that round didn't go a little better. But perhaps Johan's dice will be kind to you one of these days :p
 

rho

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Interesting premise for an AAR. I look forward to seeing how it turns out. Here's hoping that random chance has you taking control of a country you're in the middle of a war against at some point in the game.
 

unmerged(58610)

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You've two possible saving graces, One the Dai Viet occupation rules out annexation. Second the Ming may force Ayyuthaya to make a white peace. Keep all its mice weak. Given the propensity of rebels to arise in your two major foes, I'd have expected rebels to form in your provinces against them. Case where you do want rebels in your own country.

If Dai Viet can force you to cede their core or it defects, you'll be annexed. Such is 'fun'.