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Webstantine

Colonel
4 Badges
May 10, 2013
832
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  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
Quiche Lorraine - Introduction

Hello and welcome, after the unfortunate deletion of my previous AAR I decided instead of mourning my loss I would start another one. Like in my Tuscany AAR I will attempt to be humourous and will have the same style however unlike the Tuscany one I won't delete all the saves in a illness induced rage, now to answer some questions you may have:

1) Why are you playing as Lorraine?

For a few reasons; one, I like to play as nations nobody has really played as before so that I don't steal there thunder. Two, I like to play in Europe and Lorraine is a pretty central point in Europe. Three, I always seem to like playing when there's risky neighbors like Milan in Tuscany's case and Burgundy and France in Lorraine's.

2) What does the title even mean?

Quiche Lorraine is a kind of quiche which is a kind of eggy pastry thing, as for why I named this AAR after it, puns including the word Lorraine are difficult to make and this was stuck in my head. I guess it reflects the deliciousness of this AAR!

3) What goals do you have?

  • Gain a port - SUCCESS
  • Colonise stuff.
  • Defeat Burgundy/France in epic final boss battle.
  • Keep my Royal Family - FAILED
  • Be the/a dominant power by the end of the game.
  • Never have more than three vassals.

Now before we start if you want to enjoy this to it's fullest you may want to make sure you read "The Tuscan's Envy", this is almost a sequel. Here's a link if you haven't:
---> Tuscany <---
Don't worry it's not very long.
Now that that's done, let's get this going!


Contents:

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King Charles the hook:
1) Lorraine's first steps - below intro
2) Barly A Fight
3) The Thrones of Lorraine

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King René the fatherless:
4) The Prologue to René
5) The Inheritance

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King René the similar
6) An End to the Peace
7) Expansion
8) Ascension
T1) Getting Settled In
T2) Domination
9) The Last Piece of the Puzzle
10) The Other Inheritance

King Léopold the seer
11) The Short Reign of Sight

Chapter 1 - Lorraine's first steps

Here is the king of Lorraine:

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He just inherited this country from his father, his name is Charles de Metz.
Charles painted a map on his country drawing lines with the point of his hook:

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Well that's pretty pathetic, he called in his advisor, Friedrich Albatrante, "Look at this map Albatrante, what do you see?"
"I see our country sir."
"Yes, so do I, what do you notice about it?"
"It's... um... on the smaller side?"
"Yes, yes it is, so what do we do?"
"I think you have a plan sir."
Charles hooked his paint palette and pulled it over too him, he dipped the tip of his hook into a colour and put a dot on the map, he kept doing this with different colours until he had this:

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"Sir, what do the colours mean?"
"Well first off the cyan symbolises our allies, Alsace and The Palatinate say they will help us in a war. I trust the Alsatians but The Palatinate wants more of a one-way alliance - we help them, they don't help us."
"And the red?"
"Potential threats, Burgundy is the biggest but France and Austria could wipe us out if they wanted too."
"The lime-coloured countries aren't looking to good for themselves."
"Exactly, I've marked them as doomed to destruction by Burgundy."
"And what's the last colour, the black spot on Baden?"
"I've marked them to be land that's part of our country, I've claimed their throne Albatrante, we're attacking tomorrow, Alsace is going to help us, The damned Palatinate won't, Liege has strangely said they'll help us though."
"Why would they do that sir?"
"Probably to get our help when Burgundy turns on them."
"So will we accept their help?"
"Sure why not."

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Charles was leading the siege against Breisgau and Alsace was sieging Baden, Ansbach and Ulm had come to help Baden, they would be dealt with soon. The siege was done, the sturdy walls of Breisgau had fallen but until Baden had fallen to Alsace no peace was made, Charles led his army to Ansbach, maybe he could gain more than just Baden's throne in this war.

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Ansbach had fallen, and Charles decided to make them a vassal of Lorraine, the same was done to Ulm whom Alsace had sieged.

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Charles was celebrating his glory waiting for Baden too fall when Albatrante entered excitedly.
"Sir, Baden has fallen to the Alsatians!"
"Great, bring me the king of Baden"
"Of course sir."
After a few minuutes two soldiers walked into the room with the King of Baden, he looked scared. "Baden, we of Lorraine have a rightful claim to your throne, and if you die, we inherit it."
"So I have to die."
"No, I'm going to give you two choices, I imprison you and say you are dead or I kill you, your choice Baden."
"I'll choose imprisonment Charles."
"Take him to the dungeons, I'm going to Baden to claim my crown."
And Charles left the room.

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In Baden castle Charles stood making another map, he had achieved a good start for his nation, as the map showed:

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Two vassals and two crowns and all connected, a good start in his opinion.
 
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A good start. I like to see how players fare with minor HRE nations, particularly those landlocked one with good sliders. Are you playing DW 5.1 or 5.2? And I trust you are aware that Charles de Metz is in fact a real historical figure?

I'm interested to see where you go from here. Your main threats are going to be France and Burgundy, who have missions to vassalise Lorraine, but only if they complete all their previous annexation missions. Austria is actually more likely to guarantee you than to attack (ancestral home, Lorraine-Habsburg love and all that), so you might want to find a way to connect your territory to their homeland. You may also end up fighting Switzerland indirectly, as Baden tends to be one of their favourite routes for expansion.

I don't know if you're still allied with the Palatinate, but Bavaria will soon attack them for Franken, and should they capture it, they are likely to get the mission to take Ansbach next. You therefore have an interest staying allied with or guaranteeing the Palatinate to keep Bavaria down, making them good targets for your first unlawful with a view to eventually vassalising them ... or you could vassalise the Palatinate and hold off Bavaria yourself.

Lastly, if you're feeling gutsy, guarantee Bar. This will seriously mess up Burgundy =) And if that is successful, try guaranteeing Burgundy, which will seriously mess up France =P

(is that Luxembourg owning Burgundy in the final screenshot? ATBKing, is that you?)
 
I'm playing DW 5.2 and I know Charles de Metz is real, I just changed him to be mine, I will try and ally The Palatinate again then. Thanks for the advice. I allied Liege because Liege is always later in the Burgundy annexing cycle so I have time too prepare for the Burgundy war.
 
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GL with this one. hopefully it'll turn out better
 
It seems that I have transcended forum barriers unto other peoples AAR's. Luxembourg seems to be taking the fight to Burgundy! You should ally Luxembourg and help them defeat the Burgandians. You get the southern half they get Flanders. No? well it was worth the try...

On a side note, I agree with Aniuby wholeheartedly. You should try to get Wurttemberg in a PU as well. They start with a no heir just like Baden. That would REALLY help you in your endeavors against Bavaria and Burgundy!!
 
Well, that a nice start for certain. Let's hope the rest that follows will be just as good.
 
Very nice start, Webstantine. This looks like it'll be another good read - though it's a shame that your maiden AAR had to end so soon.

I'm looking forward to seeing where young from here - aniuby and ATBKING both make good suggestions.
 
Chapter 2 - Barly A Fight

"There's a messenger from the Pope sir."
"Send him in Albatrante, don't keep such an important man waiting."

A monk walked into the room and said, "Hello great King of Lorraine, The Holy Father has news you may find useful."
"Let's hear it."
"The country you border named Bar has had it's leader excommunicated."

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"Now I'm no warring man but if you declare war I'm sure other countries wouldn't bat an eye."
"Thank-you monk, please deliver our thanks to His Holiness."
"I will."
The monk left the room, Charles turned to Albatrante and said, "get the army ready for tomorrow, the monk raised a good point."
"Right you are King, but what will we do with Bar when it's conquered?"
"I don't know yet, but nothing bad can come from this."

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The siege was going swimmingly, but something was going on behind Charles's back, he turned around, his baby son was sitting in his cot, that child was up to something. Charles looked at his 3 year-old, "What are you planning?"
The boy just stared back with the heartless eyes of a boy that would kill his father, the child vilely muttered "Bwuugh." No doubt baby for "I will kill you."
"Not if I kill you first son."
"Bwaaab."
And Charles swung his hook through the child's head before realising what he had done, "You can't even speak what's wrong with me?"
But the baby was dead and couldn't reply, Charles now had no son, and also no heir.

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Albatrante ran in with news from the siege to see Charles weeping at his son's crib, "Sir, the Siege is... what happened here?"
"I killed him."
"Why sir."
"Momentary insanity, I thought he was out to get me, now who will be heir?
"Well your wife's pregnant sir, let's hope the child survives birth."
"And survives me. So what news is there?"
"The siege is complete."
"...Good"

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"So what peace will you make?"
"I'll think about it, I don't know right now."
"Of course sir, take your time."

"Sir your wife has give birth, it's a boy."
"Good, what is he going to be named?"
"Shouldn't you be there with your wife?"
"I shouldn't be anywhere near my new son."
"Well she wants you to name him, I could take the name to her if you want."
"Name him René, I can't risk it Albatrante."
Albatrante walked out the room, the people of Lorraine had started to call the king "Charles the Baby Killer", Charles hadn't tried to stop it.

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Albatrante was back from a diplomatic trip to Bavaria, he could see the King's hair greying and wrinkles appearing on his once handsome face; the castle nurse had put iit down to the stress of not seeing his child.
"Sir news from Bavaria, do you want to hear it?"
"Yes."
"They say if their King dies with no heir you can have their throne."
"Good."

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"And Genoa wishes to set up a Trade Station in Metz."
"Trade is good."

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Albatrante moved to leave the room but the king stopped him, "Okay Albatrante, the time for mourning is over; let's send a peace deal to Bar."
"Oh, okay, what do you want?"
"Full annexation, and whilst your gone I'm going to draw a map of an interesting idea I had."
"Great, goodbye then!"
Invigorated by the Kings recovery Albatrante ran out the room for the next carriage to Barrois.

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Albatrante entered the room after peacemaking with Bar, he saw the King painting maps with his hook again, it was a common Lorrainian joke that the Monarch was chosen though map making skill. "Nice map sir."
"Thank-you Albatrante, do you see the blue line around this area of land?"

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"Yes sir, what does it mean?"
"That is what I want to own for my nation."
The King was know to set his aspirations high but Albatrante couldn't see how this was possible.
"It's a large area sir."
"Yes, I know, but watch."
And for a few minutes the King painted more lines and dots onto the map and was left with this:

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"7 countries are operating in this zone I made, though I make it 8 with the rebel state of Franken."
"I'm following so far."
"The countries with green dots are under my control, 4 of them, so half are mine already. The yellow dot over Bavaria shows that they maybe part of this soon with our promise of gaining their throne, and of course the red dotted countries aren't ours, only The Palatinate is a threat here."
"Great sir, well where do we start?"
"We've already started Albatrante, with Bar, our vassals and Baden."
 
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It seems things are going well this far, aside from the infanticide. René is a good name for a good, Francophone ruler, though.

I'm looking forward to seeing how long it takes you to achieve that map.
 
It seems things are going well this far, aside from the infanticide. René is a good name for a good, Francophone ruler, though.

I'm looking forward to seeing how long it takes you to achieve that map.
Well if I'm lucky and I inherit everything properly and none of the big guys annex me I'd say about a few decades, however if I am annexed, probably never. And yes infanticide is a big problem with running a country, I tried so many Alt numbers to get the "é". (It's ALT-0233 by the way.)
 
If you can do that correctly, that would be an AWESOME Lorraine. I have never seen a Lorraine with over 4 provinces and I am itching with Excitement to see more!!

Best of Luck with Bavaria. When you said before that you had that secret nation that you could PU, I started guessing which one it was, Bavaria never even entered my mind frame. That was a definite smile and I wish for the best!!

Also, That whole ordeal with the baby was..... different to say the least.....
 
If I get Bavaria in a PU they'll insult spam me so what do you think about going to war with the Ottomans for the Crusade because they can't reach me but it's a bit cheaty. And about the infanticide, I thought that was what the event was saying was happening, only whilst writing did I realise it probably wasn't but I just went with it for story purposes.