Nice update sir... knew there was something fishy about that constable... hummm you have to be careful how you say that 
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Jackie clearly has got it in for de Luna, that was nothing more than a witch hunt against a living (well dead now) legend!
Excellent work sir. Keep it up.
Excellent work sir. Keep it up.
Well, I see you got some nice stuff out of that war, like... umm... err... some nice screenshots?
Quest: Outtakes from Judges' Auditions
PRODUCERS:
How are you qualified to be on our program Mr. ...Oz?
OZ:
I'm not a real wizard...I'm not really an expert on gold... I'm just a humbug. (starts crying) I'm not really a bad person! I'm just...an old fool... (pulls out a handkerchief and dabs his eyes)
---
PRODUCERS:
Can you explain to us the attraction gold has for you?
ERIC IDLE (singing):
I've got ninety thousand pounds in my pyjamas.
I've got forty thousand French francs in my fridge.
I've got lots of lovely lire.
Now the Deutschmark's getting dearer,
And my dollar bills would buy the Brooklyn Bridge.
There is nothing quite as wonderful as money.
There is nothing quite as beautiful as cash.
Some people say it's folly,
But I'd rather have the lolly.
With money you can make a splash.
You can keep your Marxist ways,
For it's only just a phase,
For it's money, money, money makes the world go 'round!
---
PRODUCERS:
What uses do you believe a good pile of gold has?
WILLIAM JENNINGS BRYAN:
We care not upon what lines the battle is fought. If they say bimetallism is good, but that we cannot have it until other nations help us, we reply that, instead of having a gold standard because England has, we will restore bimetallism, and then let England have bimetallism because the United States has it. If they dare to come out in the open field and defend the gold standard as a good thing, we will fight them to the uttermost. Having behind us the producing masses of this nation and the world, supported by the commercial interests, the laboring interests and the toilers everywhere, we will answer their demand for a gold standard by saying to them: You shall not press down upon the brow of labor this crown of thorns, you shall not crucify mankind upon a cross of gold.
PRODUCERS:
Erm, ...thank you...
---
YOSEMITE SAM:
There's GOLD in them thar hills and I'ma gonna get me some!
---
PRODUCERS:
Suppose we told you we had some gold with us; would you like to see it?
PIZARRO:
You are now my prisoners. If you value your life, you will fill this room to the ceiling with all of your gold and treasures, and then I may release you.
---
PRODUCERS:
Pleasure to meet you.
MIDAS:
Indeed. (shakes producer's hand) Uh... (stutters several times) I hope that that is not...going to... cause any problems... uh... well sorry about that gentlemen. How can I make it up to you? Tell you what: keep him and have him melted down.
PRODUCERS:
How are you qualified to be on our program Mr. ...Oz?
OZ:
I'm not a real wizard...I'm not really an expert on gold... I'm just a humbug. (starts crying) I'm not really a bad person! I'm just...an old fool... (pulls out a handkerchief and dabs his eyes)
---
PRODUCERS:
Can you explain to us the attraction gold has for you?
ERIC IDLE (singing):
I've got ninety thousand pounds in my pyjamas.
I've got forty thousand French francs in my fridge.
I've got lots of lovely lire.
Now the Deutschmark's getting dearer,
And my dollar bills would buy the Brooklyn Bridge.
There is nothing quite as wonderful as money.
There is nothing quite as beautiful as cash.
Some people say it's folly,
But I'd rather have the lolly.
With money you can make a splash.
You can keep your Marxist ways,
For it's only just a phase,
For it's money, money, money makes the world go 'round!
---
PRODUCERS:
What uses do you believe a good pile of gold has?
WILLIAM JENNINGS BRYAN:
We care not upon what lines the battle is fought. If they say bimetallism is good, but that we cannot have it until other nations help us, we reply that, instead of having a gold standard because England has, we will restore bimetallism, and then let England have bimetallism because the United States has it. If they dare to come out in the open field and defend the gold standard as a good thing, we will fight them to the uttermost. Having behind us the producing masses of this nation and the world, supported by the commercial interests, the laboring interests and the toilers everywhere, we will answer their demand for a gold standard by saying to them: You shall not press down upon the brow of labor this crown of thorns, you shall not crucify mankind upon a cross of gold.
PRODUCERS:
Erm, ...thank you...
---
YOSEMITE SAM:
There's GOLD in them thar hills and I'ma gonna get me some!
---
PRODUCERS:
Suppose we told you we had some gold with us; would you like to see it?
PIZARRO:
You are now my prisoners. If you value your life, you will fill this room to the ceiling with all of your gold and treasures, and then I may release you.
---
PRODUCERS:
Pleasure to meet you.
MIDAS:
Indeed. (shakes producer's hand) Uh... (stutters several times) I hope that that is not...going to... cause any problems... uh... well sorry about that gentlemen. How can I make it up to you? Tell you what: keep him and have him melted down.
EDIT>.........unofficial outtakes of course
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coz1 said:
That line, referring to an invasion of Apulia, was a gem.
Actually, you had quite a few puns in that chapter. You're in rare form today!.
Jackie Powers seemed to go a bit overboard building up the conspiracy theory against Alvaro de Luna. But evidently he convinced the queen! Poor Alvaro, at least he won't be around to kick anymore as Richard Milhouse Goldfinger said.
The Italians drove a pretty hard bargain with you!
Go Venice!! 
Good Heaven!!!
This is a MAJOR production! And that's perhaps hitting closer to the mark than normal, when using that cliche!
Wow, Coz! This is amazing! And proceeding at breakneck pace.
I'll be watching!
Rensslaer
This is a MAJOR production! And that's perhaps hitting closer to the mark than normal, when using that cliche!
Wow, Coz! This is amazing! And proceeding at breakneck pace.
I'll be watching!
Rensslaer
More unofficial outtakes (if you don't mind, Hajji)?
C-3PO: I am C-3PO, human-cyb--
Producers: Qualifications?
C-3PO: Well, I'm made out of gold.
Producers: We can see that. Anything else?
C-3PO: Err... ahh.... um....... I'm fluent in over six million forms--
Producers: NEXT!
- - - - - - - -
Francisco Scaramanga: *places golden gun on desk and prepares to speak*
Producers: Oh, God, not another Bond villian. NEXT!
- - - - - - - -
Producers: What is your opinion of acquiring gold?
Jesus: Man cannot serve both God and mammon. Do not store your tresures on earth, where thieves steal and rust corrupts--
Producers: NEXT!
- - - - - - - -
Mr. T: I PITY THA FOO' WHO TRIES TO TAKE MY GOLD!
Producers: NEXT! Don't hurt us!
- - - - - - - -
Producers: Your test. *takes out ornate golden cross and places it on table* What should be done with this?
Indiana Jones: It belongs in a museum!
William Jennings Bryan: Oooh! A cross of gold!
Producers: You already went, Jenny. NEXT!
- - - - - - - -
Solomon: Well, the gold I recieved each year weighed 666* talents, and I made two hundred shields out of gold; my drinking vessels and utensils were all golden. My throne was made of ivory overhung with gold.
Producers: Wow, sounds very good.
Solomon: By the way, I'm with this guy named Jesus. You seen him?
Producers: NEXT!
- - - - - - - -
Goldilocks: *walks in room*
Producers: Are we down to people just with gold in their name? Hello, bottom of the barrel. NEXT!
__________
*Not kidding, that's the exact number used in the Bible.
C-3PO: I am C-3PO, human-cyb--
Producers: Qualifications?
C-3PO: Well, I'm made out of gold.
Producers: We can see that. Anything else?
C-3PO: Err... ahh.... um....... I'm fluent in over six million forms--
Producers: NEXT!
- - - - - - - -
Francisco Scaramanga: *places golden gun on desk and prepares to speak*
Producers: Oh, God, not another Bond villian. NEXT!
- - - - - - - -
Producers: What is your opinion of acquiring gold?
Jesus: Man cannot serve both God and mammon. Do not store your tresures on earth, where thieves steal and rust corrupts--
Producers: NEXT!
- - - - - - - -
Mr. T: I PITY THA FOO' WHO TRIES TO TAKE MY GOLD!
Producers: NEXT! Don't hurt us!
- - - - - - - -
Producers: Your test. *takes out ornate golden cross and places it on table* What should be done with this?
Indiana Jones: It belongs in a museum!
William Jennings Bryan: Oooh! A cross of gold!
Producers: You already went, Jenny. NEXT!
- - - - - - - -
Solomon: Well, the gold I recieved each year weighed 666* talents, and I made two hundred shields out of gold; my drinking vessels and utensils were all golden. My throne was made of ivory overhung with gold.
Producers: Wow, sounds very good.
Solomon: By the way, I'm with this guy named Jesus. You seen him?
Producers: NEXT!
- - - - - - - -
Goldilocks: *walks in room*
Producers: Are we down to people just with gold in their name? Hello, bottom of the barrel. NEXT!
__________
*Not kidding, that's the exact number used in the Bible.
Oh I did get a good laugh out of those out takes. Great stuff all the way through as well.
Nice update, good to see Tim is back.
Another unofficial audition:
Producer: So, why do you think you are suited for this task?
Nicholas Flamel: Well, I can produce gold.
Producer: From what?
Nicholas Flamel: A stone.
Producer: That would spoil the entire show! Then Juan wouldn't need to go looking, he could just get the gold from you!
Flamel: So? Aren't I supposed to be the star of the show?
Producer: NEXT!
Another unofficial audition:
Producer: So, why do you think you are suited for this task?
Nicholas Flamel: Well, I can produce gold.
Producer: From what?
Nicholas Flamel: A stone.
Producer: That would spoil the entire show! Then Juan wouldn't need to go looking, he could just get the gold from you!
Flamel: So? Aren't I supposed to be the star of the show?
Producer: NEXT!
Fb-fb:
SirCliveWolfe - Now, now. It's not all Alvaro's fault. There was a guiding hand, so to speak.
El Pip - So you think he was railroaded. Maybe. But I had to pin the blame on somebody and de Luna seemed to fit.
JM - Yes, lot's of those and little else. It does not remain that way, however. And some more good auditions. You and Hajji may earn yourself a guest spot at some point.
Hajji - Heh! Great stuff. One can only imagine how Goldfinger's went. :rofl:
jwolf - Thank you sir. I don't know if I can actually claim all of them (some just happen by mistake) but I do my best. And yes, Venice was a pain in the rear, you'll be happy to know.
Renss - Yep, this is going up pretty fast. One major reason is that I am playing as I go and I don't want to get too far ahead in either playing or writing. But I want to play the game so I need to make sure the AAR moves briskly along. Glad you stopped by.
Sir Humphrey - I'm sure Hajji and Judas thank you, as do I. Thanks for stopping by.
Ciçatrix - Yes, that might be the trouble woth using Flamel. The entire set my be gold before he finishes. And I think Jackie wants to be the star here, as much as he tries to make it about Juan.
Thanks again, everyone, for all your interest and comments. Another update will be posted in around two hours or so and will get us into the late 1450's. Thanks for reading!
SirCliveWolfe - Now, now. It's not all Alvaro's fault. There was a guiding hand, so to speak.
El Pip - So you think he was railroaded. Maybe. But I had to pin the blame on somebody and de Luna seemed to fit.
JM - Yes, lot's of those and little else. It does not remain that way, however. And some more good auditions. You and Hajji may earn yourself a guest spot at some point.
Hajji - Heh! Great stuff. One can only imagine how Goldfinger's went. :rofl:
jwolf - Thank you sir. I don't know if I can actually claim all of them (some just happen by mistake) but I do my best. And yes, Venice was a pain in the rear, you'll be happy to know.
Renss - Yep, this is going up pretty fast. One major reason is that I am playing as I go and I don't want to get too far ahead in either playing or writing. But I want to play the game so I need to make sure the AAR moves briskly along. Glad you stopped by.
Sir Humphrey - I'm sure Hajji and Judas thank you, as do I. Thanks for stopping by.
Ciçatrix - Yes, that might be the trouble woth using Flamel. The entire set my be gold before he finishes. And I think Jackie wants to be the star here, as much as he tries to make it about Juan.
Thanks again, everyone, for all your interest and comments. Another update will be posted in around two hours or so and will get us into the late 1450's. Thanks for reading!
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Quest: The Spanish Search For Gold
Episode Vb: Meet the Mrs.
Episode Vb: Meet the Mrs.
Jackie Powers: Hello, and we’re back from the break. In our absence, we’ve had to make a few changes since one of our judges has taken leave. In the meantime, our own King Midas had gone to lie down for a moment. Seems he’s still recovering. And Tim the Leprechaun has gone down to the green room to look for some aspirin for his head. Instead, we have a few new guests and let’s bring them out. First up, from the Cathedral in Toledo, it’s the Archbishop of Toledo himself.
The Archbishop walks out with grace and seats himself on the couch after a pleasant handshake with Jackie.
JP: And our other guest is direct from the royal household…in fact, you could say she runs it. (laughing along with no one else) It’s Isabel of Portugal, Juan II’s very own wife!
Isabel of Portugal walks out wearing a little black dress. She is somewhat older, but still very attractive. Her hair, face and dress are all done up in the latest fashions
JP: Well what do we have here? (grabbing Isabel’s hand, kissing it gently and leading her to a seat next to him on the couch) You certainly look wonderful this evening.
Isabel of Portugal: Well thank you Jackie. (Jackie smiles larger) I figured that while I was in town, I should do a bit of shopping. There are some wonderful little shops all over the place. I find this just today and knew I had to wear it on your show. Just for you, Jackie.
JP: (slightly flustered) I…well, I really am flattered, your majesty…
Isabel of Portgual: Oh call me Belle. Everyone does. Do you mind if I smoke?
JP: How could I?
Isabel of Portugal: Such a dear. (she lights a cigarette as the Archbishop glowers at her)
JP: Well I guess we should get down to business, you two. We’ve asked you here to help us understand better these next few years because these events really shape the course of history in Castile. And since the two of you are major parts in that play, if you will, we thought who better to tell us about it. (stopping and smiling for a moment at Isabel of Portugal) Let’s start with you, Archbishop. Juan was struggling a little in the days that followed Alvaro de Luna’s execution. And 1453 would prove to get even worse for him. Can you get into any detail?
Archbishop of Toledo: Well as you know, His Majesty was very, very close to the Constable. He relied on his judgment supremely…perhaps more than he should have. And once he was gone, His Grace was truly lost. So it did not assist his troubles to hear that his own son was divorcing his wife.
JP: And why would he do that? Isn’t that frowned upon?
Archbishop of Toledo: Very much so. But it seems the Infante had some issue with…well, his issue.
JP: You mean to tell me the old water works didn’t quite cut it?
Archbishop of Toledo: In a manner of speaking…
JP: I see. So he was a real…“sleeper”…if you know what I mean?
Archbishop of Toledo: (uncomfortable) Well, yes.
JP: The old undercarriage was just for show…
Isabel of Portugal: (blurting out) The guy is a fruit! What do you want?
Archbishop of Toledo: Now, m’lady…Your Grace…we shouldn’t speak of the Infa…
Isabel of Portugal: Well it’s true. I’ve seen it. It’s disgusting! Poor, poor Blanca. The darling girl was brought all the way from Navarre just to be a show piece. And then, when he disliked her snide comments about his lifestyle, he threw her out. Like garbage. The poor dear.
Archbishop of Toledo: Now Your Grace…we have questioned the…well, the low women of Segovia and they suggest everything was just fine with Prince Enrique. Thus, it must be…
Isabel of Toledo: You pay those women enough and they’ll tell you anything. Please. He’s a fruit cake!
JP: Well. If you say it’s so, then it must be so. No need for convincing here.
Isabel of Portugal: Thank you, Jackie.
JP: (fawning) Don’t mention it.
Archbishop of Toledo: A-hem!
JP: (finally breaking an impassioned look at Isabel of Portugal) Yes…right. Well let’s look at the practical effects of this divorce.
The Infante, Enrique divorces his wife. She is still a virgin.
JP: And then following right on the heels of this, there was some truly devastating news for the kingdom, wasn’t there? The long reigning monarch, our wonderful Juan II, passed from this earth…some might say from grief.
Archbishop of Toledo: Yes, you see…
JP: (sympathetically to Isabel of Portugal) Why don’t you tell us about it, you dear woman….that is if you can. I wouldn’t want to push you.
Isabel of Portugal: Yes…yes, I can discuss it, Jackie. It’s still hard, but…well, we must go on, right?
JP: Such a strong woman.
Isabel of Portugal: Thank you, Jackie. Yes, Juan was feeling poorly all winter in late ’53 and early ’54. He had a chill that just wouldn’t go away. We tried everything. Nothing worked. And that idiot son of his wouldn’t even come around to visit. The only thing that sustained him in his last days was his two younger children, Alfonso and little Isabel. She really did brighten up his face.
JP: And then…once he was gone?
Isabel of Portugal: Well that was it for us. Packed up and shipped off to the country. But the funeral really was beautiful, though I was a little irritated at the turn out.
Archbishop of Toledo: He was a very much-loved King, adored by his subjects…
Isabel of Portugal: Now that’s crap, Carillo and you know it! The country was glad he was gone. He kept that rabble-rouser de Luna around too long and turned the nobles on him, and the peasants…well, who cares about them?
Archbishop of Toledo: Really, Your Grace…this is just not the proper way to remember our great King…
Isabel of Portugal: I remember him just fine, thank you. And I don’t need you telling me any different. I miss him dreadfully, especially now that his awful son sits on the throne.
JP: Yes, let’s fill the audience in and take a look at our new King, Enrique IV.
King Enrique IV, Castile’s New Monarch
JP: Now he got off to a pretty good start, right Archbishop?
Archbishop of Toledo: The nobles seemed pleased. They felt they had a new shot now with a new King. And the first years of his reign were solid enough – an expanded gold mine in Toledo let’s say, or all the naval rebuilding he was doing – everything seemed to be running quite smoothly.
JP: But then what happened?
Archbishop of Toledo: Well 1456 really seemed to be his last good year. He was able to include Navarre into our military alliance and even secure a royal marriage with France. But when 1457 rolled around, he started to make some enemies.
JP: And they didn’t take long to let him know it, either.
Archbishop of Toledo: Quite. And allying with Morocco? That really was painful to hear for His Grace.
JP: I should think so. They sure didn’t give him long to prove himself.
Isabel of Portugal: Why? There’s nothing to prove. He doesn’t have near the strength of his father, and quite frankly, Juan wasn’t a terribly strong man himself.
Archbishop of Toledo: Now I really have had it with your insinuations, Your Highness. Both men were and are courageous, tenacious, efficient and full of energy and ideas.
Isabel of Portugal: (turning to the Archbishop finally) Are we talking about the same guys?
Archbishop of Toledo: My dear, they are the Kings of Castile and Leon! You are unworthy to sully their names. Absolutely preposterous!
JP: Now, now Archbishop. Let’s not start calling people names around here. I’ll have to take issue with you on that.
Archbishop of Toledo: My good sir, this woman does not know her place…
JP: (standing) I think it’s you who doesn’t know his place. (to the audience) You’ll have to excuse us, ladies and gentlemen. We have to take a commercial break once more. When we come back, we’ll take a closer look at our new monarch. But first, somebody needs to teach this padre some lessons!
The late King
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FIGHT!! FIGHT!! FIGHT!! FIGHT!! FIGHT!! :rofl:
Nice update, Jackie seems to have a bit of a think for Isabel.
Nice update, Jackie seems to have a bit of a think for Isabel.
Goldfinger isn't gone permanently is he? If somebody has to go, kick out the Leprechaun!
Allied with Morocco? Now that's a different twist. I wonder what your other allies think about this especially if Morocco DOWs someone?
Joe
Now that's a different twist. I wonder what your other allies think about this especially if Morocco DOWs someone? Joe
Yes, Jackie isn't exactly subtle in his sympathies, is he now? Schmoozing up with a widow, picking a fight with an Archbishop...
I must say, some interesting events the AGC-EEP. After such a poor start, how can Enrique ever be taken seriously again? I guess he'll have to compensate by showing how he's 'manly' in other ways... I foresee big, bloody wars! Unless poor Enrique's lifespan is as short and unillustrious as his marital exploits.
I must say, some interesting events the AGC-EEP. After such a poor start, how can Enrique ever be taken seriously again? I guess he'll have to compensate by showing how he's 'manly' in other ways... I foresee big, bloody wars! Unless poor Enrique's lifespan is as short and unillustrious as his marital exploits.
I should have added it was nobles allying with Morocco - an event. Castile is far too Catholic to try anything crazy like that. But it is an interesting twist.Storey said:Allied with Morocco?
Joe
Yeah, bring back Goldfinger! Actually let Goldfinger bat for Jackie for awhile and see how he does.
Yes, I see Enrique's going to have a glorious reign...
...if maybe a little limp.
Yes, I see Enrique's going to have a glorious reign...
...if maybe a little limp.
I wonder if quest will spawn any spin offs, I can see it known.
Quest for Revenge, the utlimate fighting for the renaissance man.
Live on ESPN 666
See Goldfinger V Midas, in the re-match from hell, with Tim the Leprechaun as special guest referee.
Jackie Powers V His holiness the Archbishop of Toledo, all for the pride and love of a good (or not so good) woman.
A beyond the grave match with De Luna v Jackie Powers
More to be added closer to the event
Quest for Revenge, the utlimate fighting for the renaissance man.
Live on ESPN 666
See Goldfinger V Midas, in the re-match from hell, with Tim the Leprechaun as special guest referee.
Jackie Powers V His holiness the Archbishop of Toledo, all for the pride and love of a good (or not so good) woman.
A beyond the grave match with De Luna v Jackie Powers
More to be added closer to the event
I remember Enrique was a real loser as king when I played Castile -- but I didn't know about his sordid marital history! Is all that dirt true??