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    Real Strategy Requires Cunning

Grundius

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I think I know Goldfinger's advice. :D
 

Snake IV

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This is great. It is so great so that we can't have so much of it. If we have to wait some for every update they gets even better.
 

SirCliveWolfe

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Really nice update... shame about tim. :D

coz1 said:
SirCliveWolfe - This one is going pretty quickly because I am playing as I write and I hate to get too far ahead in either department. But I have the next couple of days off so there may be a steady stream of updates at present. It won't always move this quickly, I assure you. :rolleyes:
D'oh... oh well :)
 

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Excellent! I see the Castilian Criminal Enterprise... er, I mean Kingdom, is coming along nicely. Those wars can be a pain, but hey, you can't make an omelette, etc etc... Looking forward to hearing more from the panel soon!
 

Alexandru H.

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Self-appointed lurker is on the job... But you won't manage to fulfill your goals, my friend! You have nor the skills nor the capacity to take the gold! Submit to the losers' camp! :wacko:
 

unmerged(24857)

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Those Portugese bring only troubles. You should do some good ol´ annexation.
;)
 

coz1

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Fb-fb:

J. Passepartout - That's an interesting idea. I might have a slot for him somewhere.

Grundius - He is rather predictable, isn't he? One track mind, that's his problem.

Snake IV - I appreciate that. I actually had one really long update that I decided to cut into two with the commercial. Hated to do it, but I needed to. It was just far too long by itself.

SirCliveWolfe - Who knew Tim liked the drink so much?

Farquharson - It's all Aragon. I think Goldfinger paid them off or something. Of all the wars I've been in so far, I have only started one of them. But it's training the young soldiers in the CCE. ;)

Alexandru H. - Capacity, certainly; but you might be right about skills. Considering I have played maybe a total of four games of EUII in the last two years, I am rusty to say the least. However, I feel confident. After all, I'm no Costanza. ;)

Wolfhound - I am considering it. However, they can do all the exploring they want to before that might happen. That would certainly save on some of the work.

And the second section of Part III (or Part IIIb) is coming up. Thanks for reading. :D
 
Last edited:

coz1

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Quest: The Spanish Search For Gold



Episode IIIb: The Other Other One With Alvaro de Luna
(Those responsible for the chapter titles have been sacked.)​


Bells and sirens go off in the studio as a caption reading “You have been made Viscount” flashes on the screen. Juan II comes running out from back stage raising his hands over his head in triumph.

JP: We’re back and look at that, folks. It seems we have a special guest once again. Everyone’s favorite monarch, Juan II.

Juan II: Thank you, thank you.

JP: Now, your grace…

Juan II: Please, Wink. We don’t know what all this about Viscount is, but it purposely said that hereafter, we should be referred to as “My Lord.” If you please.

JP: Uh-huh. Very well then. My Lord, could you take us a behind the scenes of the Canary Islands issue?

Juan II: Well it’s quite simple really. We have expressed our extreme displeasure to the Papa for the purpose of securing the rights to those islands. After all, they will be most valuable when it comes time to search for the gold.

JP: And what was the reply?

Juan II: He said he would look into it.

Goldfinger: (from across the stage) I have almost zero confidence in those words.

Juan II: The Papa would not make an unjust ruling. Besides, there was that little matter of rebellion to contend with when Don Pablo attempted to make common cause with Morocco.

JP: Well, interesting that you mention it, Juan…that is, My Lord. Because we had a feeling you might be dropping by and we just happen to have a special guest back stage. (to the audience) Should we bring him out?

The audience: (in unison and clapping) YES!!!

JP: Very well then. Don Pablo of Granada, let’s hear your side of the story!


The audience erupts into applause as a large men carrying a box comes out from behind the curtain and makes his way to the couches where Jackie and Juan II are sitting.

JP: Now what do we have here?

Large man: (setting the box down and opening the top) ‘Tis the head of Don Pablo.

JP: Aha! Now there’s something you don’t see every day. Don Pablo, can you hear us?

Don Pablo: Barely, Gene. There’s this blood that’s run into my ear. Tends to blot out some of the sound, you know?

JP: Well, let’s take a quick look at what caused all this trouble in the first place.



A noble in Granada tries to stab us in the back. We behead him and give his property to his widow

JP: Dealt with that pretty swiftly, if I do say so J…My Lord.

Juan II: Well we should think so. Don Pablo was nothing but a common peasant lifted to the ranks of nobility surely in error.

Don Pablo: Look here, you foppish clown. I don’t see what right you have to come down to Granada and tell me how to run my business. We were doing just fine until you stuck your regal nose into things.

Juan II: Yes, we should think corruption and thievery is something all of our nobles should practice.

Don Pablo: That’s right. Be smug. It’s a good thing your over there or I’d smack you one right in the kisser.

Juan II: We would like to see that. What are you going to do…bleed all over us?

Don Pablo: Look. I don’t have to take any more abuse from you. Gene, give me that cue card. Yeah, just stick it into my mouth. I’m gonna give this sucker a paper cut like he’s never seen before! Just tip the box over…I’ll roll over to him!

JP: Now, now gentlemen…let’s not…

Juan II: (standing up and grabbing his chair) Very well then, our bodiless friend. Let’s see what you got? (he holds the chair above his head waiting to strike as the audience shouts encouragement for a fight)

JP: Please. Let’s get things back in order. There’s no use for fighting. After all, it was solved. (gestures for a stage hand to take the box holding Don Pablo’s head away) Let’s just sit back down, shall we my Lord?

Juan II: Very well then. But we could have clobbered him.


Shouting and cheers continue from the audience as Juan II turns and smiles at them.

JP: So now, let’s look at the after effects of that trouble. You centralize more power to the government but lose a little from the aristocracy. Not a bad trade off, eh my Lord?

Juan II: Not at all, really. It did cause a little revolt risk through out the realm, but it did not last for long. And besides, we were very grateful to learn that the Papa was behind us in our petition and ruled in Castile’s favor over the Canary Islands.



The Pope sees things our way when it comes to Canaries

Juan II: We already had it built up to a level four colony. That’s why we could never understand what grounds the Portuguese were standing on when they made their case in the first place.

JP: And things didn’t get any better with Portugal, did they?

Juan II: Quite right. We were all set to offer our good friends the chance to become our vassals in 1437 when out of nowhere comes yet another rebellion.



Just when Juan II was about to ask Portugal to become vassals, rebellion comes to lower stability

JP: Let me stop you there, King Juan, while we take a quick commercial break. And when we return, Alvaro de Luna deals with rebellion…again…

* * *​
NOTE - Believe it or not, there is actually a IIIc. Seems I have too many coding tags or something. I will wait and post that until a little later.
 
Last edited:

Lurken

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Going good fo the Castillian kings. But evil random events are never fun.
 

Snake IV

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Don Pablo said:
Look. I don’t have to take any more abuse from you. Gene, give me that cue card. Yeah, just stick it into my mouth. I’m gonna give this sucker a paper cut like he’s never seen before! Just tip the box over…I’ll roll over to him!
Hilarious :D
 

Ciçatrix

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Nice update. :)
I think the reason you have to split the updates is because one is only allowed 4 images per post, it is a semi-new rule.
 

coz1

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Fb-fb:

Lurken - And I seem to be getting my fair share of them.

Snake IV - Glad you liked it. A blatent steal from Python.

J. Passepartout - I've had a few good ones, but one does outway the other. And Don Pablo's probably gone now that his head has been away from his body for so long. :(

Duke of Wellington - So does Goldfinger. ;)

Ciçatrix - Hmm. I had not heard of that. Let's test it out. My next update has more than four. I'll see if I have to post it with one or two.
 

coz1

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Quest: The Spanish Search For Gold



Episode IIIc: The Other Other Other One With Alvaro de Luna
(Those responsible for sacking those previously responsible for the chapter titles have also been sacked.)​


JP: And we’re back. Now, let me quickly paint the picture for you when stopped for the break. Juan and his good buddy Alvaro were dealing with just a little bit of rebellion…


Rebellion is spread out over the realm

JP: And at this point, my Lord, one wonders how much your man Alvaro de Luna had to do with all of this.

Juan II: Well, a man with such impeccable credentials as de Luna…we fail to see what he has to do with this trouble.

JP: Juan…My Lord…please. You have had a constant stream of revolts ever since he arrived on the scene. You’re telling me you don’t think one has anything to do with the other?

Juan II: Of course not. Look at how swiftly he clears up the problem.



Alvaro de Luna moves his army to contend with the last vestiges of revolt in Castilla

JP: I’ll grant you he looks all smiles from this angle.


A seemingly happy Alvaro de Luna

JP: And of course, this time of quiet allowed some other news to make it’s way to the court.


Enter the Dragon


There's a new Emperor in town

JP: I don’t imagine that made you too happy.

Juan II: We did not seek nor would we accept any nomination to run. There are better things to spend one’s money on, you know. And things were peaceful enough.

JP: Then how do you explain this?



What should be a screenshot of the Alvaro de Luna Civil War event that somehow did not take

JP: Hmm, we seem to be having some technical difficulties. Let’s just go straight to you, my Lord. Tell us about the civil war?

Juan II: Well, it was nothing more than a trifle. The nobles were unhappy that we let Alvaro have such a public face, that’s all. And we have the utmost respect for his methods and results.

JP: Well, they speak for themselves right here as the rebellion is cleared away by September of 1438, just in time to make some adjustments in your domestic policy. Tell me, why did you choose to move towards quality again?



However, instead of an all important screenshot of a major civil war, we have a screenshot of the domestic policy sliders. The technicians in charge of taking screenshots have now also been sacked and replaced with the original title creators.

Juan II: We became decidedly irritated at the number of battles we were losing. The men need to be tougher. We’ve tasked Alvaro to step up that program.

JP: I see. Well you certainly ended the decade with an interesting situation. Can you tell us, finally, what happened with Navarre?

Juan II: They were clamoring about some sort of border dispute. We don’t really know. But it cost us 50 hard earned ducats…

JP: When you only had 51…

Juan II: Yes…50 ducats just to make things right and raise relations with them. It did gain us some stability though.

Goldfinger: (from across the stage) Not enough. It was the wrong move then and it’s the wrong move now. You know you’re going to have to see them in battle again. What’s the damn use of making friends with them?

Juan II: (rolling his eyes) Oh what does he know?

JP: Well I know this. We are out of time for today. Let’s take a quick glance at the board once more.



Castile 1440

JP: And let’s take a quick look at the wider world.


Europe 1440

JP: And there you have it. Jua…My Lord, we’ll let you get back to the business of running a kingdom and finding your gold.

Tim the Leprechaun: (muffled as his head is face down on the floor) My gold.


Juan II gets up and walks off stage as Jackie comes down center

JP: That’ll do it for this episode of “Quest!” But stay tuned. On our next episode, Juan II has a run in with an English flavor to it. Right here on ESPN 5211…
 
Last edited:

Ciçatrix

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Duke of Wellington said:
How long has that rule been on? I posted with 10 images 2 or 3 days ago.
It might be a forum specific rule, but I have heard people saying they can't post more than 4 images... Let's test it:






EDIT: that worked, I guess it only appiles to some sub-forums then. :eek:o
 

Stuyvesant

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I see you went Jerry Springer for a while there (the King-Juan-with-the-chair-ready-to-strike moment). And I also noticed the Friends-style titling of episodes (now running very rampant indeed. Keep this up and half your post will be made up of "other"s by the time you hit 1600 ;)).

On a game-related note, how much longer does Juan have until he's voted off the show and replaced by the next contender (i.e. dies?)
 

unmerged(11366)

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At first I didn't see the comedic potential of having a leprechaun on staff but now it looks...well...


BRILLIANT!

This whole story is hilarious! And what a premise...you, sir, have made me deeply jealous.