Quest: The Spanish Search For Gold

[coz1]

Quest: The Spanish Search For Gold

Episode VIIIa: …One Giant Leap For Spain.​

Jackie Powers: Thank you and welcome once again to “Quest!” And what a time to catch us. Just as our contestant, or contestants I should say, are just about to spring forth on the world in search of the gold.

Tim the Leprechaun: Finally, we find me gold!

JP: Not quite yet, Tim. We’ve got a big show for you today, so let’s join our judges again and move right into things. (sitting with the judges) Now, on our last episode, Spain had been formed and the process of integrating the two kingdoms began. Immediately, armies are shifted, Sicily is garrisoned, and Spain enters a royal marriage with Navarre who is now a free agent again.

Goldfinger: Waste of a diplomat, if you ask me.

King Midas: Yes, I think we all know your preferred method.

JP: At the moment, Goldfinger, Spain’s armies are still fighting rebellion. In July of 1485, the capital falls to rebels, and they move on Valencia.

Toledo has fallen to rebels​

JP: And then, in October, more rebellion is sparked in Asturias when two noble families feud. Thankfully, Gonzalo Fernández de Córdoba, or as we know him, El Gran Capitan rises out of the ranks to start the next year and he immediately moves to meet Fernando in Mallorca. They team up and return to the mainland and by the end of 1486, the revolt issue in Iberia is quickly something to forget.

Goldfinger: That shows you what good leadership can do. Future looks promising…very promising.

JP: Indeed, Goldfinger. Consider this…

Columbus Comes Calling…​

Steve the Pirate: Argh! As good a pirate as any that ever lived, aye that he was! Argh!

JP: Well, he certainly drained the throne’s coffers as they were forced to take out two loans just to pay for the hoped for exploits of Columbus.

Tim the Leprechaun: ‘Tis worth it if it finds me gold.

Goldfinger: Besides, Spain isn’t hurting for money right now. I told you, it takes money to make money.

JP: It also takes a little diplomacy, which to their credit; Isabel and Fernando have outstanding abilities for such. Portugal grants military access , and by April, Columbus is fitted for an expedition and has set sail for India.

Goldfinger: Well if he wants India, he’s going the wrong way.

Tim the Leprechaun: Is there even any gold in India?

JP: We’ll find out soon enough. Isabel and Fernando, meanwhile, spend the next couple of years getting things in order for further exploration by stamping out all rebellion that remains, rebuilding the flagging army after the previous war and find that their effort has seen reward.

We have been promoted to Duke!​

King Midas: (whining) Does this mean we have to call them ‘My Lord.’

Steve the Pirate: Argh! That it do, matey. ‘Tis in the contract. Actually, 'tis 'My Lord Duke', though don't tell me why since they be Kings. Argh!

JP: Right. Well, they didn’t get to celebrate for very long as Columbus returned home in September of 1488 empty handed.

Steve the Pirate: Argh! Not a thing discovered? He be a truly poor sailin’ man.

Tim the Leprechaun: The de Luna of the Seas. (smiling)

King Midas: Heh, heh. Good one, Timmy.

Goldfinger: (standing and pointing at the two of them)…….

JP: (getting in the middle) The show is just starting, gentlemen. Try not to get off track so soon…please. (every one sits, but Goldfinger points an extra time to make his point) Now, The regal pair are pleased to discover that the next year does bring a discovery…sort of.

King Midas: Sort of?

JP: Well, it is reported that Columbus thought he saw land, but couldn’t really swear to it. He had to turn around and come home before he could actually discover any new lands.

Goldfinger: He really doesn’t sound like much of a sailor.

JP: It’s not for a lack of persistence though. 1489 sees another expedition sent out.

Columbus is hard at work, searching for gold​

King Midas: I am sensing a trend.

JP: Could be. But the monarchs have faith. They spend their time adjusting domestic policy to favor more free trade to start 1490…

Domestic Sliders in 1490​

JP: And even send Columbus out for a fourth mission later that year. If anything seemed a failure in 1490, it was inviting Navarre into the military alliance with Portugal, and then seeing that very same Portugal, who happens to lack a land border, successfully asking Navarre to become a vassal.

Goldfinger: Could I just take this moment to gloat?

JP: Not quite yet Goldfinger, because events to end the year bring far better news. A weapons manufactory is built by the people of Murcia. Isabel and Fernando are so pleased with the unexpected generosity of the people that they made progress to Murcia in thanks.

Our shiny new weapons manufactory​

King Midas: Well I wonder if they can find anyone in Murcia that knows how to sail a ship because that seems a bit more lacking, if you ask me?

Goldfinger: When he’s right, he’s right. Can’t say a thing against him.

JP: Could this be true, Goldfinger? You actually agree with King Midas?

Goldfinger: (confused) Was that Midas that said that? Oh…then no, absolutely wrong attitude! Crazy talk!

JP: I see. Well, while you figure out your answer, we need to take a quick break. When we come back, we’ll see if Columbus can make the fourth time the charm…

 

[Grundius]

Did not know the Columbus event cost so much! But he's the best explorer in the game, right? With -12 attrition iirc (never played Spain, really never, but Im gonna, someday ). Good luck finding the New World.

 

[unmerged(33638)]

Wanted:
Young lads for exciting sea voyages. Must like the outdoors. Sense of direction an advantage. May have opportunity to name new landmarks. Small risk of death, disease, starvation and buggery.
Apply to Mr C Columbus, Santa Maria, Royal Wharf Andulsia.

 

[unmerged(11366)]

When Columbus shows you gain to warships in Cantabria?

I'm confuzzled.

Good update by the way

 

[Stuyvesant]

And there I was, thinking Goldfinger and King Midas could actually AGREE to something! I was too quick to judge.

Paying for your explorers is a nice game mechanism: he's expensive, but you really can't afford NOT to hire him. And in the long run, it'll all pay off, right? With all that heathen gold coming back to Spain...

Columbus seems a little lackluster so far, but that's the nature of the beast. I'm hoping you'll discover some coastal provinces soon. Then it's time to bring on the Conquistadores and have yourself some GOLD! Surely the mines in Mesoamerica must be your best bet right now.

 

[unmerged(15337)]

I'm liking Judge Steve the Pirate all the more with each episode! My sympathies on the slow pace of exploration -- it's hard with such low naval tech. But have patience: the conquistadors are just around the corner.

How did you get an unexpected invention at Murcia when your innovation DP is so low?

 

[Deus]

Smashing. Cristofo sucks, because in RL he had 3 ships not just 2. I tell you, who could make such a voyage with 2 ships. It's totally preposterous, unheard of. There's the trouble mate. AARGh.

 

[Ciçatrix]

Great update.
Why don't you equip Steve with a boat and see if he can match Columbus' achievements?

 

[unmerged(11366)]

Great update.
Why don't you equip Steve with a boat and see if he can match Columbus' achievements?

I can supply a time machine.

 

[J. Passepartout]

Steve the Pirate would be quite good in ensuring that Columbus actually finds something, but can this be done and still retain our dear pirate in the story?

 

[coz1]

Fb-fb:

Lurken - Just an hour off, good sir.

Grundius - Yes, Columbus costs a pretty penny and should be worth it. One might say he was worth it in this game...eventually. Yes, they might say that.

BBBD - Apparently the rush was such that Columbus missed his own boat through the crowd. Maybe that's why it took so long to find anything.

Hajji - Yes, I wondered about that too. Very strange.

Stuyvesant - Conquistadors are not far behind, and see my answer to Grundius for if Columbus is worth paying that much. The time you get him is worth it more than the sailor himself, methinks.

jwolf - Steve will be so pleased. As for the unexpected invention, I have no idea why that fired with such low innovativeness. Truly random. Or perhaps the AGCEEP does it differently.

Deus - Actually, the sumbitch started with five ships, two sank in the process of four expiditions and were replaced. His last voyage, he was still sailing with four. I like to push them as far as I can.

Ciçatrix - Hmmm. I'll have to look into that.

J. Passepartout - Maybe a series of man on the street interviews conduscted by Steve while on his exploits. We'll have to see.

And another update follows in about two hours. I am hoping to get us caught up to 1520 by the weekend. Then I can get another 50 years of playing time done. Hopefully, that is. Thanks for reading, enjoying and commenting!

 

[Snake IV]

Why is always the updates when I have to leave? Why? WHY??

 

[coz1]

I don't know what to tell you, Snake IV. I usually update between 4 and 6pm, East Coast time in the states. But thanks for stopping by and I hope you can catch the update when you check back in. Thanks.

 

[Snake IV]

I don't know what to tell you, Snake IV. I usually update between 4 and 6pm, East Coast time in the states. But thanks for stopping by and I hope you can catch the update when you check back in. Thanks.

Yes I catch them. They use to be the first I catch when coming back. (16 h later). I fell that I'm the last one to read them.

I suppose that there is an update in a few minutes? Well ,I'll found out to morrow.

 

[coz1]

Quest: The Spanish Search For Gold

Episode VIIIb: …One (More) Giant Leap For Spain.
(We are still in the process of hiring new creators for the chapter titles, as those previously responsible are currently still occupied with screenshots and we never got around to it before. There have been some difficult times here lately…and frankly, this announcer for one would like to take a moment…

This is another announcer. I’m sorry to interrupt, but I need to tell the first announcer that time is running short on this update and could his announcement please wait for later.

This is the first announcer again. And I suppose it could wait. Thanks for asking. Anyway, just wanted to pop in and say PPOM.

Sorry, second announcer again. That’s please pardon our mess…for those who don’t know.

First announcer here and sorry about that. I guess I thought people would know what it meant.

You’re probably right…oh, second announcer again…but that’s probably true. Just wanted to make sure.

Oh, well…thanks for that.

Don’t mention it.

So…did you hear about Frank?

No. What happened?

Sorry. This is a third announcer and I just needed to let the guys know to get on with it.

Oh, right.

Yeah…sorry about that. So, here we go…on with the episode.)​

Jackie Powers: Welcome, welcome, welcome. Back from the break and big things happening, right here on “Quest!” We’ve sent a couple of our judges backstage while we bring out a guest, but Steve the Pirate and Tim the Leprechaun are still with us.

The sound of things breaking can barely be heard backstage

Tim the Leprechaun: Oooh…I’ve been looking forward to this.

JP: Not so fast, Tim. Before we bring out our guest, we need to set a few things down. First, the year is now 1491. Isabel and Fernando have been blessed with peace, a strong economy and no lack of leaders. We already have Fernando, El Gran Capitan and Columbus working for the crown. And in January, the Old Duke of Alba arrives and is sent to guard Gascogne.

Steve the Pirate: Argh! Does he be any relation to the lovely Jessica? Argh!

JP: Unfortunately not, Steve. This is the second Duke of Alba, not to be confused with his more illustrious son.

Steve the Pirate: (disappointed) Argh!

JP: The rest of that year rolls by smoothly. It’s 1492 that brings the loans due from the investment in Columbus’ expeditions. The first is repaid, however they are forced to float the next one until another five years comes up. Neither is thus far pleased with the progress. But luckily for us, we have someone here to help us look into that investment deeper. Ladies and gentlemen…Christopher Columbus.

The audience bursts into applause and Columbus walks out from backstage in period dress. He has a bounce to his step and a very large grin on his face.

Columbus: Buon Giorno. Oh me…what a crowd-a. (he blows some kisses) Really, that is-a too kind!

JP: Columbus, why don’t you have a seat right over here? (shakes hands with the explorer and they both sit) We’ve been having quite a bit of fun so far watching your actions, and we are even more pleased to have you with us here in the studio.

Columbus: Well-a, it is-a my pleasure to-a join-a you here today.

JP: Wonderful. Now let’s take a great big look at what the Catholic monarch’s money paid for. Care to bring us up to speed?

Columbus: A-Well…we still looking into it.

JP: Looking into…discoveries?

Columbus: Precisely. It-a takes time-a you know? One can’t-a find new land just-a like-a that.

JP: Well yes…but you’ve been searching for…what is it now…four years. And so far, not one discovery has been made.

Columbus: Now I would not-a say that. We have-a discovered quite a many things while in-a our travels.

JP: Such as what?

Columbus: A-Well…if-a you put a ball on-a the deck of a ship, it-a will roll, roll, roll all-a over de place until it-a finally fall through a crack.

JP: I see.

Columbus: Si. And if-a you don’t know already…it’s-a not possible to make a good-a pizza at-a sea. And-a anybody tell you fish-a taste good-a on-a pizza, you tell them to shove that-a right-a up-a they nose. It-a stinks.

JP: Uh-huh.

Columbus: One-a more thing we find? A lotta months at sea…it-a get the boys up for-a good time when-a they get back.

JP: One might wonder if finding new land might help in that endeavor.

Columbus: (genuinely intrigued) You-a think?

JP: Well, certainly there are indigenous peoples wherever you are looking. I’m sure some of them might be attractive to your…

Columbus: Oh no. They-a don’t-a need to be attractive. That-a never stop-a my boys.

JP: Well, I mean…perhaps if you found something, they might be even happier with the local pickings, if you know what I mean.

Columbus: It's-a not plants-a they want.

JP: Right. Well, let’s look at what your fourth expedition accomplished.

Columbus almost finds the Bahamas​

Columbus: (smiling proudly) Almost-a found-a that one.

JP: Yes, but you didn’t. See that’s the thing Isabel and Fernando are paying you for and yet, you don’t seem to be doing much of it.

Steve the Pirate: Argh! Could have found me own hand (raises a hook where his left hand used to be) faster than that. Are ye sailin’ matey or just out for the day? Argh!

Columbus: I don’t-a see the problem. I-a told them…it-a may be-a few weeks.

JP: Try years, Columbus. It’s a good thing Spain is keeping Isabel and Fernando busy with things like this…

A slightly helpful little event – no idea anymore what happened if I chose shepherds​

JP: Because otherwise, I think you’d be out on your…

Columbus: As-a long as-a we talking about farmers, why-s don’t I-a tell-a you one other thing-a we learned. It-a seems that-a sea water is-a no way to-a water your-a garden. (as if in shock) Kills-a the whole thing.

Tim the Leprechaun: ……………………………………..(mouth agape in wonderment)

Steve the Pirate: Argh!!!

JP: Yes, well after that lesson we had better let you get back to that work.

Columbus: Well-a grazi for the interview. I really have-a some time if-a you want-a me to stay.

All together: NO!!!

JP: That’s all right, Columbus. You really should get back to that expedition.

Columbus: Okey-dokey. Ciao! (he smiles as he leaves as if he doesn’t have a care in the world)

JP: And that was entertaining. But we need to get some more ground covered before the break. And two exciting events happen just back-to-back. It seems Spain’s multi-religious background comes under scrutiny in late 1492 and early 1493. Torquemada comes to the front of the line when it comes to the souls of those in Iberia. And he takes particular notice of two groups, the Jews and the Moops.

Tim the Leprechaun: Moops?

JP: That’s what it says on this card.

Steve the Pirate: Argh! I think that be Moors. Argh!

JP: It says Moops and that’s what I’m sticking with. Anyway, Isabel and Fernando are able to keep the harshest penalties from visiting the Jews as they value the financial well-being they bring to parts of the kingdom, but the Moops are right out.

Hey Torquemada, what do ya say?​

Steve the Pirate: Argh! See yon board? It say they be called Moors. Argh!

JP: Fine! Moors! Doesn’t matter, because they are outta here!

Tim the Leprechaun: Touchy today, aren’t we?

JP: (ignoring Steve the Pirate and Tim the Leprechaun) And it creates a bit of a stir in southern Iberia.

The south is full of rebels, thanks to Torquemada​

JP: However, knowing they are blessed with outstanding leaders, Isabel and Fernando worry little about this. They still find themselves wondering if Columbus is ever going to find this so-called new world.

As Columbus has found little yet, I feel I can use the soldiers rather than the navy​

JP: As it has yet been found, they prefer to focus more on Italian affairs. But Columbus sails bravely onwards and soon almost discovers Tortuga Island.

Steve the Pirate: Argh! I’d have five islands under me belt before he has the one.

JP: The monarchs don’t seem to mind just yet as the Treaty of Barcelona is signed that nets them new lands at home rather than at sea.

The Treaty of Barcelona nets us Roussillon at the cost of another loan​

Tim the Leprechaun: Does that province have gold in it?

JP: Not that I am aware of.

Steve the Pirate: Argh!

JP: Fear not because stability has finally reached +3 again and Columbus almost discovers the Leeward Islands.

Steve the Pirate: Argh! That is, I mean to say…Argh!

JP: Well it doesn’t have to be that bad. Because in March of 1494, Columbus finally hears those words he’s been waiting to hear?

Tim the Leprechaun: You’re fired?

JP: No, no…he finally discovers an island called Guadaloupe.

Finally, Columbus actually finds land​

Steve the Pirate: Argh! That be a long wait for such a small land. And do me eyes deceive me or does Steve the Pirate see 2,000 very aggressive natives on that land? Argh!

JP: I believe you are right, Steve. But let’s just be excited for Columbus, shall we?

Steve the Pirate and Tim the Leprechaun both half-heartedly clap

JP: Don’t waste it all in one place, fellas. (to the audience) And we’ll take a break on that event, ladies and gentlemen. But stay with us, because our parade of guests never stops. And I think you’ll like our next one. We’ll be back, right here on “Quest!”

 

[unmerged(10971)]

Mamma mia! It-a seems-a that-a Signore Columbus has a stereotypical accent.

Good to see he actually found something, though. I was beginning to wonder if he had poor eyesight or something.

Columbus: *squinting* Eh, what's-a that green-a blob over there-a?
Crewman: I don't know. You're the expert on this.
Columbus: Well-a, we can't a-be going after blurry things-a, it-a might be a se'a monster or-a something. Continue on-a!
Crewman: You want some glasses?
Columbus: Don't-a be silly, those-a haven't been invented yet-a!

(Christopher Magoo?)

 

[Grundius]

Finally he finds something. It should be so that when you have an explorer next to a coast, that coast is automatically discovered.

 

[unmerged(33638)]

This AAR rocks, love the interaction with your judges and guests.

Do you have plans to roll up the italian peninsula?

 

[unmerged(11366)]

Darn it, I find time to write an update for my AAR, and there's reading to be done... go on vacation!


...no don't!

Fish tastes good on pizza.

 

[Stuyvesant]

Your narrator banter reminded me of the opening scene of Airplane!, where the two (married) announcers start with mundane announcements, then get into a disagreement and finally descend into utter chaos.

Good to see Columbus finally discover something. You know, when you brought him out on the stage, with his stereotypical Eyetalian accent, bounce to his step and big grin, I was dreading he'd turn into a Roberto Begnini lookalike. Y'know, the Italian actor who won an Oscar some years ago and showed his appreciating by blurting out stuff like: "I want to make love to everybody in the room!" Thankfully, your Columbus was a little more restrained than that.