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Josephus I

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Josephus once more felt bewildered by the relationship between father and son. Something struck him as odd. Before he could put a finger to it, his cell phone rang, distracting him.

"Excuse me one second," he says to his guests. "Hello, Josephus here. Mr. Vice president, hello. Good idea. Thanks."

Josephus turns to them.

"Where were we. Right. VAT. Mr president, I understand your concern. We're going through the exact same debate back home. The reason I think you should consider VAT is for harmonization. Look at Europe...before they could agree to their free trade, certain harmonization was necessary. What you might want to consider, is lessening the tax burden on your citizens through income tax or other tax deductions. This equals the tax distribution and at the same time harmonzies your tax with ours. It's just something to consider. Heck, we haven't even passed our own tax yet."

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Thibaud folds his fingers. "Hmmm, yes. I was thinking of the European example myself. All the EU member nations have a minimum VAT of 15%, but I am concerned this may be too much for the St. Espritian people. Our economy is not comparable, as you understand.

"We shall wait on the result of your debate, M. Sergei. Although I may disagree I wish you the best of luck, sir."

His father leans over and whispers to him: "Je dois me préparer au dîner." And the old man gets up and exits through a door to the kitchen...

"I believe," continues Thibaud, "the next topic on your agenda was...hmm..." (he doesn't remember) "...well perhaps you should continue to steer the conversation."
 

Josephus I

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Josephus shakes his head and looks once more at the president's "father". Come to think of it, he too was feeling a bit peckish. Where was the state dinner he was promised?

OK. Let' s agree to revisit this in the future.

There is nothing really on the agenda. The other thing related to VAT is of course cross border shopping. We are thinking of charging customs duties on returning Eutopians from St. Esprit, thus discouraging flocks of Eutopians shopping here. At the same time we will give VAT rebates to any St. Espritians buying stuff in Eutopia. This doesn't violate the spirit of VAT.

Other than that, is there anything you wish to discuss?


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"Not in particular, although I am quite looking forward to dinner!" Thibaud raises his eyebrows and smiles eagerly, and General Levitsky stirs from half-slumber.

OOC: For the sake of advancing the plot:

After some friendly small talk, the lead chef enters. "Messieurs les Presidents, dinner is served." He bows and sweeps his arms towards the other door, next to the kitchen door. The party of 8 (Thibaud's father has returned) follow the chef into the dining room, a fabulously decorated room. The table in the center is laden with delicious-looking cuisine which just asks to be eaten.

President Thibaud goes off into the kitchen for a moment, and returns with a tray of wine glasses for all. Seeing that the table is full, he puts it back in the kitchen and sits down.

"Bon appetit!"
 

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The best thing about being president, Josephus thought, was all the state dinners. In the five years, the one thing he can say he proudly accomplished was adding a solid two inches to his waist line.
Looking around and noticing there was no wine, he raise a glass of water. He stood up.

"I wish to make a toast. To the future of the young nation of St. Esprit. May she continue to prosper and grow. And to the continuance of friendly, prosperous relations between our two nations for eternity."


Josephus
 

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"St. Esprit!" toast the assembled politicians, and sip from their glasses.

"And," says General Levitsky, rising with some difficulty, "I wish to make a toast to the health of our great leaders, Jack Thibaud and Joe Sergei."

(Meanwhile, Morgan St. Charles, Vice President announces quietly his need to go to the restroom. He rises and enters the kitchen unnoticed as Levitsky is making his toast, and at the end Thibaud (on a signal from his father) calls back into the kitchen.

"Morgan! The bathroom's in the hall."

The VP emerges rather confused. "I didn't think they were so hard to find." He leaves through the hallway, and Thibaud's father immediately heads into the kitchen.)

Jacques Thibaud smiles. "Sorry about that M. Sergei...try your lamb, it is very good."
 

Josephus I

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Josephus makes a mental note to capture this whole scene in his memoirs some day. He thinks to himself that if he could get Levarge to order an invasion on St. Esprit tomorrow, these guys wouldn't be able to find their way to the nearest bomb shelter.
Josephus digs into his lamb.


"My compliments to the chef, " he says. And, he thinks to himself, the idiots didn't even get the hint about their not being any wine on the table .

Josephus
 

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Thibaud reaches for his glass of water, grabs it, takes a sip, and stares. "Oh! The wine!" He goes back into the kitchen and fetches it, giving himself the one with the Presidential seal and serving everyone else their glasses...
 

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Josephus grabs the glass, curious about the whole presidential seal. These Espritians are weird. Still, he shrugs it off as another thing to mention in his memoirs under the chapter "My first State Visit....those Wacky Espritians". He breaks off the seal and tipping his glass in the president's direction, says "cheers".

He drinks the glass of wine.


Josephus
 

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[OOC: The seal was a stamped thing on the President's glass, sorry I didn't make this clear enough].
 

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As Josephus and most of the others drank from their glasses, Morgan St-Charles, Vice President, wavered. He fingered his for a while, and few people noticed, but then at a look from Thibaud he picked it up...and began swaying it from side to side in the air. A few times he came close to sipping but then apparently decided against it.

Soon all was quiet, and everyone's attention was on Morgan St-Charles, who seeing the stares put the glass down. He looked extremely nervous, and the others could almost hear St-Charles' heart thumping. Finally somebody spoke. It was Thibaud's father, who was seated directly next to the nervous Vice President. He spoke not in timid, glum, mumbling French but in supremely confident, impeccable English, with a slight American accent. His voice's strength shocked the whole room almost as much as what he said:

"Worried about the poison you put in two of the glasses? You don't have to. The police already took them as evidence, and they replaced the whole set with another bottle, poison-free."
 

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Josephus looked around. He looked at his own wine glass. He'd drunk it all. And who was that man....It couldn't be....could it?


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Morgan St-Charles wheeled angrily on the old detective. "What the hell are you talking about? I didn't try to poison anyone?"

"Oh, sure," said the detective. "First you poisoned Jean Thurmonne, then Camille de Rochevot, and now - well, you failed."

"I - you can't prove any of it!"

"Sure we can. Let's start three minutes ago. You go into the kitchen, supposedly looking for the bathroom. You drop poison in two of the glasses: neither is the one with the Presidential logo on the side. It doesn't matter who drinks the poison as long as it isn't you or Thibaud - "

"This is all a load of [feces]!" He pointed across the table. "How do you know Thibaud didn't do it?"

"We would have seen him put the poison in on the videotape." That shut the Vice President up. "We recorded the whole thing, and there were a half-dozen cops watching besides, from behind a little ledge on the other side of the room. They saw you do it and pulled out one of those little tester things. I am amazed at how quickly they can test for arsenic these days. When I was a politician in America it took hours or something like that.

"But anyways, there are still the three murders as well as your motive. Jean Thurmonne. You know, there's a constant thread. You suppressed the media reportage. Like the old posters said in the '70s said, 'Censorship works. Just ask the experts,' and under that pictures of Stalin, Castro, and Mao - I'm terribly sorry, Mister Locke, to insult your brethren. Anyways, somehow you kept them from finding out that you gave Thurmonne your glass of water. And you stayed with him through the night at all the bars. You must have did him in with slow doses, diabolically.

"And Georges Dumont knew about it. So you did him in at the concert."

"I did not!"

"Oh, sure you did. You were there. The conductor recognized your photograph - "

"That's because I'm the God-dammed [sic] Vice President!"

" - when I had my friend in computers Photoshop on overalls and a straw hat."

"WHAT?" laughed General Levitsky. "Oh, Morgie, I can see you in that get-up. Haw!"

"The conductor," continued the detective, "remembered seeing a man in coveralls and straw hat in the box seats, near Thibaud and Dumont. And that's not all. What were you doing at a Berlioz/Shostakovich concert anyways?"

"I like Berlioz and Shostakovich. Did that ever cross your tiny little mind?"

"Yes, it did. That's why I searched your house when you were at work a couple days ago."

"WHAT?"

"With the President's authorization. Jacques gave me the keys. I found your CD collection. It's just like you said after the shooting. You only listen to Vivaldi."

"I was joking."

"No you weren't. I was amazed. Only non-Vivaldi CDs were Pachebel and Telemann, and some by the Bee Gees. Odd bunch. There were twenty Four Seasons discs, including one of my own - "

"Yours?" inquired Thibaud politely.

"Well, I owned the record company," the detective said. "Anyways, Four Seasons, flute concerti, harp concerti, string things, Dresden concerti, and bassoon stuff. Who the heck's ever heard of a bassoon concerto - anyways. You went there to kill Dumont. No more, no less. And I found the overalls in your closet. Took a picture. That's how we Photoshopped it on and gave it to the conductor."

"Well, if I don't listen to Berlioz, how did I know to shoot when the music symbolizes his death?"

"How do you know the man fired the gun when the music symbolized his death? All the press said was it was in the March to the Scaffold!" Silence again.

"And Camille Rochevot. I have no idea how you kept the press from finding out, but you visited his house the night before. Don't know how you did him in the next morning. Probably found his weekly pill dispenser and switched the next-day ones with killers. We'll find out soon enough, though, because we've got enough against you for the other two and tonight to send you packing for life."

"No motive."

"Sure. It was a coup."

"No."

"Look, I've busted coups for a living before. I know this stuff. You were going to pin it all on Thibaud after tonight's massacre, pointing to various circumstantial bits - him being at the concert, him getting the wineglasses - and bingo! He's gone. You know what happens next. You, being the Vice President, take over. What a ghastly way to take over a government. Although I must admit, it was far cleverer than Dan Hartwell or Roger Smith. And when you set out to kill someone, you really did, unlike Joe Locke over here.

"Oh, one more thing, Mr. Morgan St. Charles. What's your real name?"

"Morgan Saint-Charles."

"No, really. Don't give me that crap. Don't you see I can see right through it? Joe can, probably, if he's been paying attention."

"It is my name!"

"No it isn't! There's only one Charles Morgan in this room and that Charles Morgan is ME! Who are you??"
 
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Were you ever invited to a dinner party; and your hosts, a married couple ended up fighting the whole time. This is how Josephus felt. It was awkward, and very strange as he sat there the whole time watching the scene enfold before him. All the while he studied the man who claimed to be the president's father. It had been bothering him for a while, ever since he got here really. The conversation continued around him, but Josephus wasn't listening. No, he studied the man closely. He was badgering the vice president about something. Josephus filtered the dialogue out, although at one point he thought the old man apologized to him for something....wap, wap, wap, the dialogue was all like the adults speaking in a Charlie Brown cartoon...background noise.

All he was interested in was the old man. Time stood still. No, it didn't stand still, it travelled backwards...back outside his visit to Tilapia, back before his election as president...backwards still.....backwards to his stay in Cuba...back the chaos of Term 9....the explosion...the ice cream truck...backwards past FREE.....when he was younger, and hated....the Eutopian Worker...an article he wrote, an investigative piece on purolined funds and cover ups....and Jake Langley...and that man who stood beside him.....the house on the hill...the bum.....



"Morgan," he whispered as if in a trance. "Charles [expletive] Morgan."


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Morgan St-Charles visibly melted down; he emerged out of his core, his shell, and instead of the angry murderer in denial he suddenly became human, and seemed in his voice to beg for mercy.

"I don't think I had ever met you in person, Mister Morgan, but I knew you by reputation. And your reputation was spot-on right." He smiled. "Gotta hand it to you. It's just like they said. Every single goddamn detail...I don't know how you did it. Gotta hand it to you. I mean, you-"

"Stop flattering me," Morgan said, grinning so much it almost hurt. "Who are you?" The murderer remained silent, shaking his head. "May I see, sir, um, may I see your gun?" St-Charles was surprised. He pulled it out of the holster.

"This better as hell be unloaded," the detective said, and saw it was. "Neat thing. ENDTech, it says. You design this?"

"Wh - yes. How'd you figure that one?"

"Just a guess."

"It makes perfect sense. I was doing rescue relief after that hurricane - come to think of it, was that hurricane named after you? And anyways, I was standing on the pier and a wave washed me out...when I got back my family took over my business, everything. Checked with them. They were sure I had keeled over. They wanted the darn business anyways, greedy pirates. Wouldn't give it back. What could I do?"

"You were already considering a coup."

"Well, I had. Wait!" He stopped. "How'd you know that?" The detective only smiled. "Jesus. Yes...when St. Esprit was formed I figured it would be easier than Eutopia or Tilapia, which in my opinion is a mafia state."

"OH!" Morgan jumped. "Joe, you have to get Tilapia before the Presidential campaign starts back up there, don't you? Jeez, it's about ten-thirty. Sorry, so sorry. Doctor Voshkod, if you don't mind, let's wrap things up right here."

"Sure," said the Vice President.

"Officer!"

"Yessir."

"Take Morgan away. And not me, either."

"Yessir."
 
Last edited:

Josephus I

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With that, Josephus thanks everybody for the fruitful, if strange, state visit...shakes hands, promises to visit again, and heads off to Tilapia.

Josephus
 

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The St. Espritian leaders see Josephus off with politeness and gratitude, and express a desire to see him again sometime soon. However, Levitsky and Morgan are somewhat disappointed that dessert was not served.
 

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As they are safely whisked away in the presidential helicopter, Josephus turns his intercom on and says to his advisor..."So, are all state visits as strange as that one?"
 

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There is a click on the intercom as the advisor keys his system, but then there is a long pause.

"Sorry sir, I was trying to come up with a witty retort, but I'm afraid that after that little display, I've got nothing. Lets just say that if the Tilapians are half that nutty, I will advise you to send all the Nationalists down here to have a look around...they might revise their views a bit, if you take my meaning."

-vS as NPC
 

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Parliament, Fort-aux-Francais

The cameraman waved his oily-haired reporter a bit to the left. "Uh - uh - that's right. Now don't move your shoulder up. Want to get the, uh, the Speaker's desk in the shot. It's right over your - yeah. Okay. Ready?"

"You're on in five..." said the third man, "....four," whatever they call him. "...three, two, one, go."

"Well, it's been an exciting afternoon at Parliament downtown here, as Socialist leader Walter Steligne proposed legislation which would abolish the St. Espritian miltiary altogether," said the reporter, who had broken out of the starting gate at an amazing clip and obviously had consumed an extraordinary amount of coffee prior to this. "Mr. Steligne announced that St. Esprit had no need for any military, and the money can be spent elsewhere more wisely." The reporter took a break as footage of Steligne's speech was fed into the TV screens across the island.

"There are poor, starving people in this country, and they need food more than we need armed guards. We have no threats to fight."

"But more extraordinary still," said the reporter as the red light went back on, "was his reply to opposition claims that our nation would be undefended. It turns out he has forged a deal with France, that in exchange for a large army/navy/airbase on St. Esprit the French will protect us in time of war. This is part of a separate treaty which is being debated separately, although the two bills are clearly linked. Leader of the opposition Jacques Thibaud had this to say:"

Tape of Thibaud. "Although initially shocked and angered by such a strange proposal, I have begun to see the wisdom of the idea. Essentially we give the French our military bases, which they will maintain, and then we get a free army. I must credit M. Steligne for his extraordinary fiscal resourcefulness. However, there are better ways to spend the resulting windfall than on welfare programs."

"There you have it," said the reporter. "One of the most innovative proposals we've ever seen might just pass. Back to you, Francois."