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[PRIVATE]Embassy of and Port of Entry to El Reino de Tilapia

  • Special Rules for this thread:

    - This thread represents the Embassy of El Reino de Tilapai, as well as actions or events within Tilapia. Please try to keep all travel and actions within Tilapia confined to this thread.

    -The person tasked with administering Tilapiain-game shall represent the official Embassy Ambassador, but will also have some limited NPC role-playing abilities and will often post Mod-reviewed content about Tilapia within this thread. Such actions have been pre-approved by the Mods.

    - Please route all communications with any Tilapians through this embassy.

    -Please do not post in this thread, until the Ambassador officially declares the Embassy open.

 
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Welcome to Her Royal Majesty's Embassy!

embassy.jpg

The Embassy of El Reino della Tilapia located in Eutopia City

Located in downtown Eutopia City, the embassy of El Reino della Tilapia was recently completed by Renard Rouge Contractors. Set back from the street with some lovely landscaping work, it is unassuming and conservative looking, a simple design as requested by Tilapia's ambassador. The interior is neat and efficient with a classic look. Some old Spanish artwork adorns the walls, and fresh cut flowers are brought in and placed in the hallways every other day.

ambassador.jpg

Ambassador to the United Provinces of Eutopia, Ferdinand Paolos

Ambassador Paolos is a diplomat's diplomat. He expects adherence to the finer points of diplomatic protocol, and places great emphasis on them. At 63 years old, one could say he is of "the Old Guard", and wouldn't be far from the truth. Every morning, his secretary prints off the previous day's emails and brings them into his office for review. There, he writes a response on the back of the page, which his secretary promptly takes back to her workstation to type out and send back. He has no phone and no computer in his office. Ferdinand has never been in a hurry a day in his life, and distrusts those who are.
 
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Excerpts from "Travels in Eutopia: Tilapia" by Rick Steves, famous American tourist/author.

El Reino Della Tilapia - Government and Culture​

El Reino Della Tilapia, or Tilapia for short, is a constitutional monarchy. Its head of state is Queen Francesca Saxe-Coburg-Gotha-Blade!, or simply Queen Francesca or Queen Francesca I. Underneath the Queen is a five member Consulate, with leaders from across the political spectrum. The provincial governors of Isabella (currently Pablo Villa) and Nueva Rioja (currently Bernardo Tuzzi) each hold positions on the Consulate, while three other 'floating members' make up the rest of the body, drawn from various segments of society and appointed as the Queen sees fit. The three other current Consulari are Felix Anzaldua, mayor of Buen Puerto, Colonel Scott Summers, and Carlos Marcos. The five Consulari elect a single Pro Consul from within their ranks to act as Chairman of the Consulate and head of the government. This position is currently occupied by Carlos Marcos.

Though a monarchy, the majority of the real power rests in the Consulate. Though this body is distinct from the monarchy, it does serve at the Queen's pleasure, and the boundaries or balances between the two are uncertain at best.

The culture of Tilapia is Spanish-Latin in origin, and shows a stronger leaning towards their Spanish roots than towards the English roots of their neighbors and former countrymen, the Eutopians. For example, drivers in Tilapia drive on the right side of the road, as opposed to the left in Eutopia. The official languages in Tilapia are Spanish, French, and English, however the vast majority of Tilapia's citizens speak Spanish as their first language. While virtually everyone in Tilapia also speaks English, it is not their 'mother tongue', and you are far more likely to hear 'Buenos Dias' in Tilapia than 'Hello'. A good tact is usually to respond with a 'Buenos Dias' of your own, even if you don't speak Spanish; the people will recognize your accent and switch into English effortlessly, and be the more grateful for your gesture.

The Tilapians place a great deal of emphasis on what may seem superficial to our culture; slight nuances of discussion and what may seem like trivial details can sway the entire course of an interaction. I discovered quickly when asking for information or a favor in Tilapia that a gift made the person I was asking far more receptive to listening to my request. Before you get nervous, understand that it's the thought of the gift they look at, not the pricetag. A cigarette will do quite well if you know the person is a smoker, or another tact is to watch what they drink and order them another. The important part is that the gift be fitting to the person; the better the fit, the more impressed they will be by the encounter. A thoughtful gift indicates concern for the other person's wants and needs, and not just concern for oneself. Such minor things as where a conversation takes place, and whether face to face or over the phone, are also noted by the Tilapians. Of course, if a Tilapian offers you a gift and you refuse, this is a personal insult of grave depth.

Most Tilapians are naturally distrustful of 'Anglos', or people of English-American ancestry. This stems from their recent secession from Eutopia, a country most Tilapians can cite an entire list of complaints about. Their most common grievance is neglect at the hands of the 'Anglo' majority, claims that the government in Eutopia City consistently turned a blind eye to the needs or concerns of the 'Ibero' or 'Latin' minorities. As evidence, they often point to the complete lack of government action surrounding the murders of two Buen Puerto youths by arms dealers, the Gonzaga incident, and Former President Glasser's unfortunate identification gaffe which resulted in an island-wide work stoppage.
 

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This post reserved...just in case
 

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And one more for good measure.

The Embassy of El Reino della Tilapia is now OPEN for business.
 

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The president of Eutopia and the Minister of Foreign Affairs, Josephus Sergei, requests a meeting with the ambassador of Tilapia, Ambassador Paolos, at his convenience.


Josephus
 

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The U.S. officials are shown in immediately, just after the Secretary takes their coats. Shown to comfortable leather chairs, Ferdinand pours them all a drink.

"Some of the finest Port you'll ever taste, I guarantee..." Ambassador Paolos says warmly as he pours a glass for himself. "I really must thank you gentlemen for coming out of your way to visit us here, I wish we had caught your Senators before they had left the island, it would have saved you the trouble, but what's past is past."

He leans back in his chair and sips the Port delicately, swishing it around in his glass and letting his hand warm it to the appropriate temperature. Sensing the officials were not in the mood for a long leisurely chat, he decided to move on. The American culture, always in a hurry, he lamented to himself.

"Gentlemen, I know what the United States thinks of El Reino della Tilapia. I cannot blame you for being cautious, it is prudent in the age in which we live. I wish things were not so, but sadly...they are. But we do have a little in common, if you will. Both of our countries were begun by people who had had enough, enough of being ignored, oppressed, used by a government deaf to our needs and desires, and both of our countries did something about it. We have been fortunate thus far in that we have not had to fight for our freedom, but sometimes I fear that day is not far off.

Eutopia's government has a chronic case of schizophrenia in the worst degree. They say one thing, then do another...or, more typically, say they will do one thing, and then do nothing. I do not know what they promised your Senators when they were here, but I would go to the bank betting that whatever promises were made will not be fulfilled. Look at what they did to the Spanish, the United States' friend overseas. The Eutopians struck a deal with Spain, and Spain followed through on their end of the bargain. When Spain came calling for their bargained-for compensation, Eutopia slammed the door in their face. This is not the first time...just ask the French.

But Tilapia...we came forward, with no such obligation, and offered to fulfill the promise the Eutopians had made to the Spanish for them. And when Eutopia breaks her promises to you, I hope you will consider asking us to fulfill them.

Having a friendly power on this island is beneficial to the United States, if only for strategic positioning alone. And the election of Josephus Locke Sergei has made it clear that Eutopia will not be that power." Ferdinand slides a copy of the Eutopian Worker across the desk. "This was published, by President Sergei, just after the deplorable terrorist attack on the United States Naval Base at Farpoint. Eutopia's President is now a man who has advocated attacks on American soldiers defending themselves from terrorists. When he could have used his position to fight terrorism, he sided with the terrorists, and now he is President. It makes me wonder who he was protecting. Perhaps the Most Enlightened Order of the Revolution, which American courage stamped out?

Then, there are the hurricanes...when his country was being ravaged by weather the likes of which it had never seen before, where was Josephus?" This time he slides a Cuban newspaper across the desk. "Why, he was drinking cocktails with everyone's favorite communist dictator, Fidel Castro. How hard would I have to look to find a tie to Kim Jong Il?" He leans back in his chair and folds his hands behind his head.

"Gentlemen, Tilapia is not asking for much at this time. All we want from you is recognition of our status as a sovereign state, and a chance to prove ourselves to you as being trustworthy partners in the mid-Atlantic. While we haven't yet had to fight for our independence, there are more radical elements within the Eutopian political spectrum which would like to force us to. And if the election of President Sergei is any indication, anyone can be elected up there. It is our hope that recognition by the United States would make other regimes think twice about invading and conquering us, and perhaps at some point in the future the United States could extend the Monroe Doctrine out to this island. At the very least, I hope that the US still feels its best interests lie in continuing the embargo against this regime.

Tilapia is committed to fighting terrorism, while Eutopia's President has advocated it. With official American recognition, we could become a partner in the global War on Terror, along with our Spanish friends and allies. I only ask that you consider what the United States has to gain, gentlemen." Having wrapped up, he spoke with the American officials for a few minutes more about questions, details, and minutae before they got up to leave.

"Oh, one final thing, gentlemen." He handed them a copy of the New Republican. "This is the kind of attitude you can expect from the Eutopians...we've been getting it for decades. The fault never lies with Eutopia, they would never admit that. No, they only question why *you* aren't ending the embargo. Eutopia has always been concerned only with herself, and her ruling class. I think this editorial gives the most crystal-clear window into the picture of the Eutopian psyche I have ever seen. That is what you're dealing with in Eutopia City, gentlemen. Good day." He bows and shows the officials out.

-von Streusser
as Tilapia
 

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The Secretary greets Josephus in a cool, professional manner, and invites him to take a seat. She finishes printing off a small stack of emails, and takes them into the Ambassador's office.

The magazines on the coffee table are predominantly Spanish-language, but there are several recent-edition newspapers from Eutopia present, including the latest edition of the Eutopian Worker. In fact, *all* major publications from Eutopia appear to be present.

After a few minutes, the Secretary re-appears and, holding the door open, waves Josephus in to see Ambassador Paolos.


-von Streusser
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Josephus I

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Josephus walks in the office and takes a seat. He considers putting his briefcase on the ambassador's desk, but then decides to put it at his feet.

Senor. I'll get to the point. There are a couple things we need to discuss. As you probably know, I was in the GA last term where I supported recognition of the sovereignty of Tilapia. I support your independence.

Last term a movement was made towards a general trade agreement called CAFTA. I am here to ratify Eutopia's position on CAFTA. I believe that only through the free movement of goods can both our nations, and of course St. Esprit, benefit from this economic union.

But I wish to move further. It is my dream to see our three nations united similar to the European Union. A free border where workers and citizens can freely move across.

This can not be achieved unless our nations have complete openness between us. I wish to propose to you and to St. Esprit a trilateral military alliance. An agreement to respect each other's borders and at the same time guaranteeing them against any foreign aggression.

What do you say?

Josephus
 

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Ambassador Paolos looks at Josephus with a blank stare for a very long moment, leaning back in his chair. Slowly, he rocks his chair forward, and opens a small box on his desk, pulling out a cigar. He snips the tip off with a specially-designed razor, then slides the box forward.

"Cigar? They're Cuban, quite tasty." He snips the end off another and offers a light. Slowly, he rises from his chair and moves to the sideboard, where he fetches a bottle of Port and two glasses. His gait is slow and labored, and bears the tale of a lifetime of hard work and pain. He pours two glasses of Port, then sits back down in his chair.

"Imported, straight from Portugal.

Port is such a sensitive drink...if all things are not perfect, it can spin wildly out of control. The temperature, the grape, the way the drinker holds the glass. It is delicate, and requires balance, a professional touch, and empathy. One must be conscious of the drink, not just what one desires from the drink." Paolos, formerly staring into his glass, shoots Josephus a significant and unmissable look at that statement. No one could miss the fact that he is making an analogy, but trying to do so tactfully.

"President Sergei, I've heard a lot about you, and I'll admit most of it was not exactly complimentary. I understand that a politician must be two separate men...the one he sells to the people, and the one that he becomes when he takes his tie off at night. I want to know about the second man. I've seen enough of the first over the last thirty years to know quite well who President Josephus Locke Sergei is. I want to know who 'Joe' is. Tell me...who are you?

On the surface, it's a simple question. What are your hobbies? What do you do in your spare time? If you weren't a politician, what would you be? Why did you go into politics? But if we dive deeper, we get to the real issues...what is your purpose, why do you get up in the morning in the middle of a country filled with people that have tried to blow you up, tear you down, and smear your name...why get up in the morning and continue to try and lead them? Tell me about 'Joe', if you'd be so kind. Perhaps in return I will tell you about Ferdinand."

His voice is gruff and slow, and his tone and mannerisms indicate that not only is he not in a hurry now, but he probably never has been before. The stack of papers that his secretary carried into his office sit on his desk to the side, each one a print-out of an email. There are a couple on the other side of the desk with answers written on the bottom in a patient, flowing script. Paolos sips at his Port and puffs on his cigar leisurely as he waits for Josephus to answer.
 

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Carl Robada enters the embassy and discusses something with the desk clerk on duty.

"Good day, I have a query. I was born a Eutopian in what is now Tilapian territory, and I wish to remain as a Eutopian citizen by residence and birth. Is it possible that I can keep my Eutopian birth citizenship or will my passport have to be changed to one of Tilapian origin?"
 

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Josephus sips from his port. He has a lot to think about and realizes it is prudent not to think for too long. So he makes a deliberate motion of taking a long time to light the cigar.

“A good Cuban cigar,” he says finally as he puffs expertly, “requires a lot of care. Too much humidity and it gets soggy and won’t smoke right. Too little and it becomes dry and smokes unevenly.”

He hopes that the good ambassador will see a clever analogy here, although he’s not sure if there is one.

“Per Ambassador. You ask a strange mix of questions. Truthfully, I am a bit tired of having to defend myself. You fall too much for my opponents’ propaganda. Who am I? Per Ambassador, I think you know who I am. I have devoted my career to the betterment of Eutopia.”


He takes another drag of his cigar. “When I go home, I read. I have no time for television. I read all the Eutopian papers. Then I read The Economist. Then I read the New York Times and the Washington Post. If I have time, I pick up an English paper too. I subscribe to Foreign Affairs. I drink some scotch, smoke a cigar. I never cook, but thankfully the perks of the presidency offer me a good, and well-paid European chef. I live alone. I have no partner. I am lonely at times, but my work over the years have precluded a normal relationship. I do some correspondence before I got to bed. Catch up with old friends, maybe play a bit of a computer game. Then, I turn on CNN and if it's boring I have been known to watch MASH reruns.”

He finishes his port, wondering where all this is heading.

“Why do I get up every morning and face hostility. A very good question. You know I came close to giving this all up after the last attempt on my life. I re-entered politics determined to have a low profile, but the P4P’s leadership at the time was too weak, and once again I felt the Left had no leader who can lead them to victory. So, I thought I’d give it one more shot. And this is it. And I won.

“It is tiring and draining. This last campaign really wore me out. And, to be honest, between us, I’m not sure how much longer I can go on. I’m pushing 50 now you now. But I feel I can still make a difference. If the people, if the politicians, just give me a chance…

“Outside of politcs, I am sure I would have pursued an interest in journalism. My raison d’etre, if you will, Per Ambasador is to educate the masses about the wrongdoings of those in power. Who is Joe? Sometimes he’s an enigma to himself. All he wants is for the citizens of Eutopia to wake up each morning confident that there is a government out there out to look after their interests. He is not a radical as he is painted out to be. He does not want to overthrow the institution, although it is true that he has had contacts with those who would.

Josephus is a man who has had a bad rap, partly through his own doings, but mostly through the false accusations of others.”

He taps his cigar into the ashtray.

“I can understand to a certain extent American suspicion. But you, Mr. Ambassador, tell me. Why can’t Tilapia trust me?”


Josephus Locke Sergei.
 

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The Ambassador raises an eyebrow at Josephus' analogy with the cigar...had he missed the point? Regardless, it was done now, time to continue on...

"No, Per President, I do not fall for your opponents propaganda. That is why I asked the questions. Had I fallen for those statements long ago, I would not ask now, as I would assume I already knew." He takes a sip of his Port, and lets Josephus continue, listening attentively. As he reaches the end and asks about trust, the Ambassador smiles, almost warmly.

"I appreciate your admitting that at least part of your reputation is self-made. I ask you these things because I want to know who you are, who I am dealing with. I can learn a lot about you by reading the papers, particularly yours, but to hear the words from your own mouth, that is where I can learn the most.

Now then, you come to the most important issue of all...trust. These things you bring to me, this alliance, this trade agreement, all of it. These things are superficial compared to the real issue: trust. Until there is trust on both sides of the border, there can be no real lasting working arrangement, now can there?

You ask why Tilapia does not trust you. In your capacity as President, I suppose that is two questions: why Tilapia does not trust the President of the United Provinces of Eutopia, and why Tilapia does not trust Josephus Locke Sergei.

Tilapia does not trust the President of the UPE because we have never had a good reason to. I could recite a list of incidents a mile long; the Gonzaga incident, those two boys from Buen Puerto murdered by arms dealers, on and on. When the Latins of this country needed help, there was none to be had from the government in Eutopia City. Our people have been systematically neglected and abused for decades. That is, after all, why we seceded. Furthermore, I am sure you understand that Eutopia is not exactly the most trustworthy of nations on the international scene. You can ask the French, Spanish, or United States if you are skeptical of that. You can only betray so many people, so many countries, before others will become skeptical. You are the President of a nation that has never kept its promises, never acted with an ounce of concern for a foreign government...whether your fault or not, you are the inheritor of that legacy.

As to why Tilapia cannot trust Josephus, that is another question entirely. We cannot trust you for two reasons. The first is that you are Eutopia's President...for many, that is reason enough. The second is because we, frankly, do not know you, or most of your support base and cabinet. We do not know how you will act, or react. We don't know if, hidden in that pacifist anti-military agenda, there's a crazed Hawk sitting on the button in your Ministry of Defense. And do you know us? You are not a Latin...and many are therefore willing to write you off as being unable to understand our people, our culture, our needs. I admit, it is a roadblock.

But cooperation between our people is not impossible. Nor is it unheard of. Just last term, a joint investigation was launched by Tilapian and Eutopian law enforcement officials regarding that bombing incident. Tilapia is buying our portion of the formerly privatized highway system. These measures were both initiated by a Eutopian official...that PJ Vasquez fellow. Now I understand your MIDA has put up wanted posters searching for him, as if he's a common criminal? That doesn't seem like a very warm 'thank you', which he no doubt deserves, or a very friendly gesture at all. I have no wish to impose, and it's none of my business of course, but perhaps you could remind Minister du Fougeres that Vasquez is an overnight hero both in Tilapia and in the remaining Latin communities in Eutopia. Expect a lot of kids in Private Investigator costumes this Halloween. Just a little unsolicited advice.

Anyway, where was I...ah yes, trust. Our first order of business should not be setting up these formal agreements and meaningless pieces of paper...it should be changing the culture of distrust. An alliance with someone who you have no faith in, what good is it? Tell me, President Sergei, how do you think we can work together to create an atmosphere of trust, on both sides of our border? I am very interested in hearing Eutopia's thoughts."
 

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Josephus sat quietly taking it all in. He realized with some trepidation that he was rather new at all of this. Truthfully he knew bugger all about diplomacy. He did check the local bookstore for “Diplomacy for Dummies”, but to no avail. Maybe he shouldn’t have taken the Foreign Affairs post…he should have settled for something irrelevant like Culture.
Josephus wished the ambassador would quit talking and pour him another port.

…Still he listened…..


“Blah, blah, Gonzaga incident, those two boys from Buen Puerto murdered by arms dealers..blah, blah….

Josephus visibly smarted from this and took a long drag from his cigar to hide his nervousness. Were they ever gonna let that one go?

Josephus let the Ambassador finish. There was a pause. No offer of another port. Did it break protocol to simply pour himself one? He made a mental note to ask someone someday.

Josephus suddenly remembers a briefing he had from one of his secretaries prior to coming here. He suddenly picked up his briefcase, put it on his lap and with a quick “click” opens the briefcase. He produces a Topan wood carving of a traditional Topan fishing vessel. He presents it to the Ambassador.

Josephus cleared his throat.


“You bring up a good point, Per Ambassador. Why should you trust us? Why should you trust me? O.K. let’s begin with the latter.

I have never made an enemy of other cultures on Eutopia. The fact that I, and only I, raised objections to the whole headscarf case---I’m sure you’ve heard about it? I notice you have quite a collection of Eutopian Workers on your desk. Look back, you will see that I rallied for justice in the Gonzaga case in my editorials. I love Eutopian diversity. Whether Muslims, Topans, Europeans or Latins. I appreciate that there are differences between us. But the differences did not need to be so divisive. Have I ever made anti-Latin comments? No.

I won’t pretend that I was happy with your, and St. Esprit’s secession. No one who loves Eutopia as much as I do, is. But I understand why it happened. Glasser messed up and so did Gall. But they're both gone.

But, that aside, how can I make you trust me? I come here with open arms. Let’s talk, I say. Let’s ratify CAFTA, which serves to better the economy of both our nations. And let’s take it a step further. It is obvious that I trust Tilapia, or I wouldn’t want these agreements. If I trust you…why not trust me. Take a leap forward, as I’ve been saying.

You say you do not trust us because you do not know me or my Cabinet. I agree we’re all new to this ‘running the country stuff’….but I can assure you that they’re very devoted people. Why Per Forgeres, whom you mentioned, was instrumental in the CAFTA agreement. Regarding PJ Vasquez…well I hardly knew him. To be honest, any investigation into him has nothing to do with his being Latin. There were some discrepancies that need to be investigated, is all. To be quite frank, you are looking for reasons to distrust us. Yet, you offer no reason why we should trust you.

Regarding the UPE itself. I don’t think it is right that—what is it you said, “Eutopia never acted with an ounce of concern for a foreign government...”

I am not sure that this is the case exactly. But you must understand two things. One. Eutopia is about 30 years old. We are a growing nation. Our teen years were not without problems. We had a lot of internal issues to contend with. At the same time as all this mess…we had American intervention, we had hostility from the Spanish and kidnappings from the French. We tried, to the best of our abilities, to deal with these issues diplomatically. In fact, I think Eutopia has had a great deal of strong diplomats and foreign affairs ministers who dealt with most issues sensitively.

At the same time, as you know, Eutopian politics has never been easy. We’re a very polarized society. It hasn’t been easy. You will see this yourselves in Tilapia. You may gain the trust of the Spanish, but how do you know that England or France don’t see you as a bunch of nationalist hotheads? I’m not saying you are…but I’m saying developing international trust takes its time.

Which is why I’m saying we should form an alliance. Economic, cultural, military. Will we not build a better, trusting relationship with open borders and cooperative military practices than we would with closed borders and our tanks facing each other?

Oh, and two. Relationships between us, Tilapia, St. Esprit and the UPE is different than relations with others. We share the same island. We were one at one time. I have talked in the past about keeping Eutopia neutral. But, given this new situation, I want nothing else but a Commonwealth of Independent States between us.


You ask me, finally, how to create an atmosphere of trust. Did we not, as our first order of business last term, vote, overwhelmingly to recognize your independence? Did we rattle our sabres? Did we ask for compensation for the federally owned land some of your businesses and army bases now sit on? No. In fact, I believe, we’ve done our bit. We initiated CAFTA. We immediately said, “OK. You’re independent now. Let’s start talking like close neighbours do.”

Let me ask you….what has Tilapia done to gain our trust?

Josephus paused. Lord, he needed another belt.


JL Sergei
 

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Ambassador Paolos nods, then notices Josephus' glass is empty. He refills it with a leisurely gesture. Paolos noted Josephus' reaction to his comment about the boys, and allowed himself an internal smile. He was rather surprised when the President gave him the little Topan woodcarving, and accepted it with a smile. He had been expecting the Eutopian to come with nothing, to simply make demands...but better late than never.

"Ahh, but we're dealing with more, or less if you like, than anti-Latin comments...the most specific complaints my people raise are negligence, the fact that the government has routinely ignored them. It is an implicit racism, if you will, rather than explicit. But I suppose it is human nature, and there is little to do to change it...

Now, trusting you, that is not so difficult. But next term, will you still be President? Just judging by history, it is unlikely. So assume Tilapia comes to trust you, and you trust us, and then you retire? We are back to nothing, on both sides. It is not about whether or not you trust me, or I trust you. Think of your cabinet, of your military leadership. Do they trust us?

Perhaps I am looking for reasons to distrust the Eutopian government. That could well be. But I am certain I am not the only one, on either side. And while you disagree with my statement that Eutopia's governance never acted with concern for other governments, well...you are entitled to that opinion. I imagine some involved in that NAFA fiasco would disagree with you, but that is your right. However, I shall disagree with you that we have offered you no reason to trust us.

You have recognized our sovereignty, that is a significant step, and one which the Queen does appreciate, have no doubts about that. However, to say that not invading us yet is doing us a favor...well, I disagree there. Meanwhile, we are actively searching for the men who murdered your Konstantin Vilms, and we did do you a favor by agreeing to buy the highway system at the terms Per Langley discussed. These small acts, these stepping stones...these are the beginnings. I think we're more or less even so far.

Now then, let us return to the issues you came to me with. First, CAFTA. We have agreed to abide by the spirit of the agreement, but not sign the treaty. That stance has not changed. We will not sign the treaty, as we want to maintain our rights to protect Tilapian interests as necessary. But, you have our word that we will honor the spirit of what the agreement seeks. I am glad to hear that Eutopia will honor it as well. This bodes well for all of us.

However, this alliance. This I do not see right now as being even possible. Your generals, would they work with us? Fight by our side? Would your people see common cause with ours? I appreciate the value of an agreement to ensure that violence does not break out, but I cannot in good faith simply launch myself into one. Working relationships, international trust, as you say, takes time to build.

Let us continue to talk, as neighbors. Let us continue to build a working relationship through these small actions. The investigation of the Nueva Rioja incident continues, and I hope that Eutopian agents will continue to be involved and continue to help us solve this tragedy. We have started down the path towards a mutually beneficial relationship as neighbors, but Tilapia feels that these things are best approached gradually.

If you are serious about a military alliance, perhaps we can work something else out. If this agreement is to involve St. Esprit as well, let us all sit down and talk together. Perhaps, at the least, we can agree to some sort of non-aggression pact. Or, to test the waters, we can try some sort of joint military exercise, a wargame of sorts to see if our forces really could operate on the same page, come together to fight terrorism. Perhaps you could feel out the reception to such a thing, and see how the environment looks. And do get back in touch when you're ready to have a trilateral conference about this alliance thing.

Is there anything else I can do for you, Per President?" He refills Josephus' glass one more time, and offers another cigar.
 

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Shiiuga said:
Carl Robada enters the embassy and discusses something with the desk clerk on duty.

"Good day, I have a query. I was born a Eutopian in what is now Tilapian territory, and I wish to remain as a Eutopian citizen by residence and birth. Is it possible that I can keep my Eutopian birth citizenship or will my passport have to be changed to one of Tilapian origin?"

The desk clerk gives Per Robada a smile. "Well, at this time I don't believe Eutopia recognizes dual citizenship. But, since you were born in what was then Eutopia, you are a Eutopian citizen by birth until you renounce that citizenship and apply for Tilapian citizenship. Is there anything else I can help you with, sir?"

-von Streusser
as Tilapia
 

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Josephus is thankful for the port which he gulps down. He stands up and makes to take the ambassador's hand.

Well...I thank you for this meeting. I agree, we must continue to talk. I am disappointed with your lack of trust. You're right, I won't be president next term, the Constitution forbids it, but this is the nature of democracy. I don't think there is a politician in Eutopia today who openly calls for Eutopia to take you by force.

Still.....you feel paranoid about us. Very well. I'd rather you ratified CAFTA then just "abide by the spirit", but at the very least I hope that in a year or two you will sign it.

I"m on my way to visit the St.Esprit embassy after this. I'll bring up the alliance and see what they say. I do like your idea of a joint military exercise--and maybe a non-aggression pact.

I'll get back to you. Meanwhile, you know where to reach me.


Josephus
 

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Ambassador Paolos, with a great deal of effort, stands up and shakes Josephus' hand with a smile.

"Well, all things in time. Perhaps when we've seen a little more of this CAFTA in action, we will join. And paranoid is such a...negative word. I prefer cautious. We are very cautious towards Eutopia, that is true, but paranoid...well, paranoia requires true fear.

I'm glad you'll consider my suggestions as stepping stones towards a better future together. Perhaps if the joint military exercise goes well, we could sign a mutual agreement to combat terrorism around the island? Well, no need to get ahead of myself.

I'm glad you came in, and humored an old man's questions. I will contact you if anything more needs to be discussed. Please, take another cigar for the road." He offers another cigar and shows Josephus to the door.
 

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vipersrt03_01.jpg

The candy-apple red sports car roared up to the border checkpoint between Tilapia and the UPE, switching from the right side of the road to the left in the designated zone just before it did so. The Eutopian border official went through the typical routine with the latin man in the drivers seat, even checking him against the wanted posters recently issued by the MIDA. The driver handed over a valid Tilapian passport and a few papers stapled together. A Spanish steel guitar band was playing softly over the radio, and a latin woman's voice rang gently through.

"Destination?"

"Eutopia City, senor."

"Purpose?"

"I'm an aide to the Tilapian Ambassador there."

"How long will you be staying?"

"This time? A few days, a week at the most. It depends on what he needs."

The border official checked the passport and officially stamped Ambassador's papers, and then handed them back to the driver.

"Enjoy your stay in the United Provinces of Eutopia, Per Alejandro."

"Thank you Officer...I shall" the latin man said, placing the documents in his glove compartment and pulling away from the checkpoint. As soon as he was out of earshot, he hit a button on his stereo system, and switched to The Black Eyed Peas CD "Elephunk". He started to sing along and bang on his steering wheel as he pulled into the rental car lot just over the border where his ride was waiting.

"I don't fear none of my enemies/
And I don't fear no bullets from Uzis..."

* * * * *​

"Gracias...glad you came to pick me up."

"Well, your ride to the Embassy won't be nearly as nice as the one you're leaving here" said an Embassy clerk as he tossed the keys to the latin man. Another man who had been with the clerk got into the car Alejandro had brought with him and took it back over the border.

"It almost breaks my heart to see that thing drive away..." he said, placing the earplugs for his iPod into his ears. "Lets get to the Embassy, por favor."

* * * * *​

The not-safe-for-radio version of "Lets Get It Started" had just come on when the latin man entered the Embassy. The clerk had gone off in a vain attempt to find a parking space.

He was a curious miss-match, dancing down the hallway of the Tilapian Embassy to a tune playing loud enough for the rest of the staff to hum along. He wore his long dark hair back in a tight ponytail, and his goatee was neatly trimmed. His suit was a double-breasted classic charcoal gray, a cut made popular by a certain retired President not long ago. His white collared shirt was unbuttoned at the collar, showing off just a little more of his tanned skin. His smile was vibrant and bright, his enthusiasm infectious. He pulled up short at the Ambassador's Secretary's desk.

"Vincenzo..." she said warmly, meeting his eyes a moment and then looking away. "So nice to see you again..."

"And you too, Maria. I'll be in town a few days, maybe you'd like to go get dinner sometime? If you're not too busy working, that is..."

"I think I can pencil you in" she said with a devious grin. "You should go on in, Ambassador Paolos has been expecting you."

"Gracias Maria, gracias." Vincenzo Alejandro took out his earphones and tucked his iPod into a pocket, then gathered up his battered looking briefcase and ducked into the Ambassador's Office.

* * * * *​

"What's with the hair?" asked Paolos, with a half-smile.

"I thought you'd like it...here's the latest. Might I say, I do fantastic work. Stereo surround sound, if you want, all marvelously compiled and assimilated." He dropped a folder onto the Ambassador's desk, then dropped himself into a leather chair. "Don't suppose I could have a drink?"

"Your usual?" Paolos said, opening the liquor cabinet.

"Of course..."