Agreed. Nobody is trying to minimize or deny your pain or the injustices that happened to your family. We've all been affected by the war in some way: not a single person with family from the Balkans hasn't. Nobody's trying to assign to you or your ancestors an ethnicity with which you do not identify; that's not even remotely the point here. The point is, in order to have the Balkans receive accurate historical representation, we have to put those biases aside and instead focus on objectivity.
The fact of the matter is that this is a game set from 1444-1821; a time when the demographic makeup of the Balkans changed dramatically due to migration. It was during this time that Serbs migrated into Krajina, Albanians arrived in Kosovo, Venetians began colonizing Istria and Dalmatia, Bunjevci moved northwards from Bosnia into modern-day Vojvodina, Czechs settled in Primorje and Slavonia, and Croats migrated to places like Molise and Burgenland. It's impossible to say whether your ancestors were living in Herzegovina at the time or what religion they would have been. Had they been Croats who always lived there? Perhaps. Were they formerly Orthodox Serbs who converted to Catholicism and began identifying as Croats? Maybe. Were they Catholic Croats who migrated as part of a larger wave from somewhere else? Possibly. It's actually quite fascinating to learn how different populations moved and changed during that time, and I really suggest anyone with an interest in the Balkans look at it. With so much migration and such poor record-keeping during those times, it's impossible to know. All we know is that at that time the population in the area, despite being mixed was primarily Serbian in 1444, and so that's what the devs chose to represent it as.
It has nothing to do with trying to obscure Herzegovinian Croats' history or identity, it's simply a recognition of the fact that culture is not stagnant and in many cases was historically quite different from what it is today in many places. As someone who lives in Toronto, should I get upset that the province is represented as Huron in the 1444 start? I'm not Huron, the city today is not Huron. But that doesn't mean that it wasn't so historically, and it also doesn't mean I should get indignant and claim that my community's history is somehow being obscured because the demographics in 1444 do not represent today's reality.
I want to see accurate Croatian representation in the game as much as you do (I mean hell, at least half of my threads on here are about Croatia), but that means representing the region
as it was, not how nationalists of today may want to tell us. So I urge you to read more about its history, because there's always more contributions that can be made. You're new to the forums, so there's still a lot of potential for you to have your voice heard if you're really passionate about doing your research and really creating thoughtful and interesting suggestions in the future. Just please don't let this discourage you.