PopStars - a musical AAR

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Constantinople's Lament:

I don't even need to tell you what the song is:

Istanbul (Not Constantinople), most recently by the House of Pale(ologus).

The Greek Successors (members from Trabzon, Duchy of Athens, and Constantinople) wrote this song (sung to the tune of Birdhouse in Your Soul by They Might Be Giants):

I'm your only friend
I'm not your only friend
But I'm a little glowing friend
But really I'm not actually your friend
But I am...

Chorus
Little nation nestled on the Adriatic
Who watches over you
Keep a Byzantine army on your shore
Not to put too fine a point on it
Say I'm the only bee in your bonnet
Keep a Byzantine army on your shore.

I have a secret to tell
From my Turkish prison cell
It's a coded message telling
All my allies to go to hell.
They all abandoned me
To tender Ottoman mercy.
My name was Paleologus, now
it's one word spelled just M-U-D.
My empire's overrun
But this time not by the Hun
Those Turks don't rest....

Chorus

There's a prisoner opposite me
He's a terrible sight to see
It makes me wonder why I stayed
To fight the Turk and didn't flee.

Oh, I just can't go on. God, how I hate Turkish prisons. And gladiator movies...

 

[Norgesvenn]

Good one! I love it!

Now, for something completely different...

Lost that beloved savegame

You never open like you used to when I press 'Load'
I don't think you're doing all this just to goad

You're trying hard not to show it....
But, Computer...
Computer, I know it...
You've lost that bloody save game
Oh, that bloody save game
You've lost that bloody save game
Now it's gone, gone, gone
Whooouah
And I can't go on...


Feeling at home, are we?

 

[Faeelin]

Inspired by the godless dogs of smashmouth,a nd my ottoman/unified muslim game.:

The hapsburgs once told me their troops were gonna roll me,
I ain't the sharpest sultan to reign.
Well they were looking kinda dumb with their forces on the run,
and the sound of the koran in madrid.

Well the turks start coming and they don't stop coming.
Land near rome and hit the beaches running.
Didn't make sense not to war for fun
Soon we'll rule all of christendom.

So much to rule so much to be
So what's wrong with france free.
You'll never know if you don't show

So much to do so much to see
So what's wrong with taking the back streets
You'll never know if you don't go
You'll never win in otoporto.

chorus:
Hey know, you're merchant, get to your COT, go pay.
Hey know, you're a soldier, get your gun out, go slay!
All that glitters is gold
Only ottomans break the mold.

He's a cruel king, and they say he gets crueler.
You're losing the war now wait til we get soldiers
But the muhammedan men beg to differ
Judging by the hole in rome's picture.

The wars at least we're starting to win
The player's getting bored so we'll load again
My game's corrupted how bout yours
That's the way we like it so we never get bored.

 

[Norgesvenn]

Good one, Faeelin!

Here's one about BB wars...

Don't kick back in anger

Slipped inside, just to take a provice or two
Did what I had to do-o-o-o
To make it a bigger place

You said that you'd never seen
An army like this

Slowly attrition away

So, I'm gonna get some rebels on my hands
'Cause I just had to get your lands

DoW, 'cause summertime's in bloom
Stand up for your province, man
Take those cannons, and go 'boom'

I ain't never gonna get a CB

And, so BadBoy is on
I thought I had won
As my armies rushed in
My capital fades away
But don't kick back in anger
You'll hear me say

(Oasis: Don't look back in anger... btw, that 'Hindu Times' track's quite good)

 

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What about trailers for movies or TV?

Playing Teutonic Knights featuring MrT

In 1372, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Riga underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune.

If you have a problem,
if no one else can help,
and if you can find them,
maybe you can hire the T-Team.

 

[Norgesvenn]

Great idea, Wasa! I love it!

 

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FOOLS!!! I pity the pike-wielding Ortho-types who stand in our way! Up the Pope!

Here, I'll squish this guy's head like an overripe olive.

FOOL!!!

(Hanibal: I love it when a plan comes together.)

 

[Norgesvenn]

Oh, I've missed this thread, folks!!

 

[Norgesvenn]

Encore!!

Don't look back in anger

CTDs happen once in a while
Don't worry, just smile
And enable "autosave"

The AI's not quite what it could've been
But still the best I have seen
In a computer game

I play the game from my bed
BB wars, they get to my head
Outside, summertime's in bloom

Draw the curtains, buy some beer
If the phone rings, you just sneer

You will never drag my big butt out

And so, EU can't wait
It's never too late
For a game with France

My life fades away
But don't look back in anger
'Cause Paradox are quite okay

(Okay, another rendition of a "classic" Oasis song. God bless you, Noel, for making those silly lyrics)

EU

EU, EU, EU, EU-U...
I'm begging, please don't crash again

EU, EU, EU, EU-U
Please don't crash, just because you can

Your gameplay is beyond compare
With flaming wars and lots of flair
And DP sliders for all you'd ever care

Your interface so smooth and nice, your graphics crisp and and a slice
Of history thrown in for what it's worth...
CIV cannot compete with you, EU...

I dream about you in my sleep
Of provinces I cannot keep
From rebels
When stability is low

.......

Two pints for the person who recognises the song...

Okay, time for footie and beer. Can Norway beat Japan? I think not...

 

[Lord Durham]

Join in the fun with this entertaining AAR of the Week.

 

[Norgesvenn]

Wow! PopStars made it to No. One this week!

And I'm actually proud! Great!

 

[Sharur]

Yup, you've topped the charts, Norgesvenn!

This aar was a lot of fun, it's too bad that a CTD wiped it out Hopefully, we'll see it resurrected sometime in all of its glory... *hint*

 

[Norgesvenn]

Originally posted by Sharur
Yup, you've topped the charts, Norgesvenn!

This aar was a lot of fun, it's too bad that a CTD wiped it out Hopefully, we'll see it resurrected sometime in all of its glory... *hint*

Okay, Sharur! I promise there'll be a sequel. Pop StAARs, perhaps. As I missed that stupid pun the first time. Ahem... any suggestions for a country? I mean, just as I have a decent chance of survival (excepting CTDs), I'm game.

 

[Sharur]

Decent chance of survival? Oh, dear... well, there's always Spain

J/k, I'd say go for a decent German minor, Brandenburg, perhaps?

 

[Norgesvenn]

How 'bout AAR-Ha from Norway?

 

[Avocado Aguila]

How about some Bohemian Rapsody, Paris Paris and China In Your Hand ?

Best regards,

Avocado

 

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Heeeeeeeeey, Tor-que-ma-da!




I'd do the dance, too, but it's quite difficult when you're in chains hanging upside down in the dungeon.

 

[Warspite]

this is a blast, great idea man. I like how you post what the real song was so we can sing to the melody.

Good Show

 

[Norgesvenn]

Originally posted by Warspite
this is a blast, great idea man. I like how you post what the real song was so we can sing to the melody.

Good Show

Thanks, Warspite! I'm considering resurrecting it, but at the moment I'm too busy being beaten to pulp in "The Righteous BastAARds".

 

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Originally posted by Norgesvenn
How 'bout AAR-Ha from Norway?

Hmm...as long as it isn´t "Take on us"..