PopStars - a musical AAR

[Norgesvenn]

Originally posted by Wasa


Something for Monty Pythonians

The Province Song

Here's a little number I tossed up recently in the mountains...

Isn't it awfully nice to have a province?
Isn't it great to have a Wlak?
Your piece of land, the taxman's best friend,
Your Kosovo or your capital
You can burn it down to rubble
You can stuff it your sock... etc., etc., etc.


Something along those lines?

 

[unmerged(6777)]

He's a Serbian!

This one is really striking a chord back at home. It's sung by Eryk Ydyl with a nice cavalry chorus (in italics)


Oh I’m a Serbian and I’m okay.
I sleep all night and I fight all day

He’s a Serbian and he’s okay
He sleeps all night and he fights all day

I cut down foes, I eat my lunch
I go to the lavatory
On Wednesdays I go siegin’
And have buttered wlak for tea,

He cuts down foes. He eats his lunch
He foes to the lavatory
On Wednesdays he goes sieging
And has buttered wlak for tea.
He’s a Serbian and he’s okay
He sleeps all night and he fights all day

I cut down foes. I skip and jump.
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on Sunni clothing
And hang around in bars.

He cuts down foes. He skips and jumps.
He like to press wild flowers.
He puts on Sunni clothing
And hangs around in bars?!
He’s a Serbian and he’s okay
He sleeps all night and he fights all day

I cut down foes. I wear no steel.
A turban and saran
I wish I’d been a Sultan
Just like my dear Papa.

He cuts down foes. He wears no steel.
A turban and saran?!

(Talking)
What’s this? Wants to be a Sultan?! Oh, My!
And I thought you were so rugged! Poofter!

(singing)
He’s a Serbian and he’s okay
He sleeps all night and he fights all day
He’s a Serbian and he’s okaaaaaaaaay
He sleeps all night and he fights all day

 

[Sharur]

Just as clarification, MrT, it was actually sung by Mikyl Palyn

 

[Laur]

"Wlaks"

Harmlessly passing your time in the grassland away;
Only dimly aware of a certain unease in the air.
You better watch out,
There may be Turks about
I've looked over Danube and I have seen
Things are not what they seem.

What do you get from pretending the danger's not real.
Meek and obedient you follow Impaler
Down well trodden corridors into a valey of steel.
What a surprise!
A look of terminal shock in your eyes.
Now things are really what they seem
No, this is no bad dream!

The Sultan is my shepherd, I shall not want
He makes me down to lie
Through pastures of blood He ledeth me the silent waters by.
With curved swords He releaseth my soul.
He maketh me to hang on gallows in high places.
He converted me to Sunni faith
For lo, He hath great power and great hunger.
When cometh the day we lowly ones,
Through quiet reflection, and great dedication
Master the art of karate,
Lo, we shall rise up,
And then we'll make the bugger's eyes water.

Bleating and babbling we fell on the Turks with a scream.
Wave upon wave of demented avengers
March cheerfully out of obscurity into the dream.

Have you heard the news?
The Turks are dead!
You better stay home
And do as you're told.
Get out of the road if you want to grow old

band: The Pink Orchestra for Funerals and Weddings, Bucharest
song: Wlaks
album: Animals
members of the band: Rogerio Watar, David Killmore, Nicolaus Marilin Manson, Rica Wrait

 

[Norgesvenn]

Mercenary Luzern


Oh Lord, won't you buy me
The Mercenary Luzern
My foes all have Gunther
I must make ammends

Worked hard all my lifetime
No help from my friends
So Lord, won't you buy me
The Mercenary Luzern

(Janis Joplin, 'Merceded Benz')


Look out for more silly posts from the newly promoted captain Norgesvenn in an AAR near you...

Edit: Just came up with something I'd love to share with you. Have you noticed the Papal States being one of the most aggressive countries in EU II? Well, here's one from Ygï Pope...

Lust for land

Here comes Pius, yeah, yeah
He's delivering souls
Delivering souls for the Holy Church

He's gonna do another exorc-ism

Hey, man, where d'ya get that notion?
That God's right hand should conquer the world

Yeah, I'm God's right hand
Yeah, God's right hand

They fall like hyptonised chicken

Well, I am just a modern guy (pope)
Of course I have them in my palm again

I've got lust for land

Lust for land







Edit 2:
Great one with 'He's a Serbian', MrT! I love MP, and that particular skit is one of my all time faves. And, to the rest of you, thanks for all the contribution!
I'm currently around 1500 with Serbia. Still five provinces, still no money, no leaders to speak of, angry neighbours, poor allies and a 35k army with no place to go.

 

[Norgesvenn]

Some more songs...

The West Side Of The Dardan'elles

Some men in life /Leiv?/ are mad,
They can really make you sad

Other men just make you swear and curse

When you're invading in the Balkans
Don't grumble
Give a whistle

And this'll help things turn out for the be-e-e-e-st.....

And....
Always look to the west of the Dardanelles
/whistle/
Always look to the Balkans before you rest
/whistle/
If the Serb seems jolly rotten
There's something he's forgotten
And that's to murder, burn and sin
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just DoW and whistle
That's the thing

And...
Always look to the west of the Dardanelles
/whistle/

Repeat until fade

I suppose you all know who did that one. But let's not bicker and argue about who killed who....

Balkan Brown

Hey there people, I'm Balkan Brown
They say I'm the baddest boy in town

My caval-ry's fast
Their arms are shiny
I tell the Turk he can kiss my hiney

Here I am on the Balkan plains
I'm playing harp 'n I'm acting cool

I got a one province minor
That wants to help with my effort
I let her do all the work and then later I'll rape her

Oh, God I am the Serbian Dream
I think I am a bit extreme
And I'm a five province son-of-a-bitch
I'm gonna get a good CoT and be real rich

Gettagood, gettagood, gettagood, gettagood

Serfdom liberation
Has been creeping all acorss the nation
I'll tell you people, I was not ready
When I cranked that slider and found Flanders wasn't Neddy

I made a little speech then, oh, I tried to tell them when
They have my balls in a vice, but they pay the tax
I guess I'm still going strong, but I'm getting lax

Oh, God I am the Serbian Dream
I do not do too well it seem(s)
And my stability's down in a ditch
Am I minor or major, I dunno which

I wonder, wonder, wonder, wonder...

(Frank Zappa, 'Bobby Brown', a good ole' disco song, innit?)

 

[Norgesvenn]

A real 'Serbia' song... Paint it Wlak!!!

Paint It Wlak

I see a creature
I thought it was a Wlak

No domestic ones
I want myself a Wlak

I see the Serbs go by
Dressed in their uni-forms
I had to burn some land
I really have a few foes

I see a line of carts
They’re all dragged by Wlaks

No flowery smell
They smell just like Wlaks

I see people purse their lips
The stench is just so foul
I don’t mind them
The Wlak also has a soul

Sorry, I couldn't resist the temptation... Now, my friends, anyone feeling up to writing 'Jumping Wlak Flãsh'??

 

[unmerged(7652)]

Balkan Brown

Norgesvenn, this is the best one yet! It really cracked me up

 

[Norgesvenn]

Re: Balkan Brown

Originally posted by Mimir
Norgesvenn, this is the best one yet! It really cracked me up

I quite liked it myself. Strange, though. A song like 'Bobby Brown' was banned on Norwegian radio, still it became a huge hit among those it was meant to ridicule: The disco people. On the other hand, Norway was the only country to ban 'Life of Brian' for blasphemy. Needless to say, I didn't agree.

 

[Norgesvenn]

Bye, bye game

Bye, bye game
Bye, bye saves and such

Hello, CTD
I think I'm gonna cry

Well, it all went to pot. Corrupt savegame, Norton Antivirus popping up to tell me all sorts of useful info...

Now I'm set with a clean install, clean computer etc. Still, this means the end of PopStars.

So, thanks for all the fun, lads!

 

[Estonianzulu]

Wow, darn....

I think we should put together a Remembrance CD.

The title can be taken from that great song Goodbye Serbia n' Rhodes (Goodbye Yellow Brick Roads, Elton John)

Then MeatWlak's Serb out of Hell (Meatloaf's Bat out of Hell)
Follow this up with Jimmius Buffetus' classic Serbs (Jimmy Buffet, Fins)

"You've got Serbs to the left, Serbs to the right and your the only Turk in town."

Then Gory Day's (Springsteen's Glory Days)
"I had a friend, a Crossbow loader back in training. He could load those bolts so fast for you, make you feel like a fool..."

And end it with The When's rendition of Serbia O'Riely (AKA Serbian Wastland) (The Who's Baba O'reily

"...Its Serbian Wasteland, oh yeah, only Serbian Wasteland... we're all Wasted."

 

[Norgesvenn]

Hehe, there's no reason why this thread couldn't be kept open to offer young and promising pop stars a chance to test their material. However, 'Serbia' went down the memory lane, as all their equipment burnt, and their plane crashed and what have you.

 

[Legolas]

SO We SAY...

Thank you for the AAR,
for the wars you're fighting
Thanks for all
Laugh there bringing

Who can live without it?
I ask you all who's here...
AND I SAY:
Thank you for the AAR
for giving it to me!

[ABBA 'Thank you for the music']

Pity to have such a great AAR gone... Will you start another one, Norgesvenn?

 

[Norgesvenn]

Originally posted by Legolas

Pity to have such a great AAR gone... Will you start another one, Norgesvenn?

Well, I'll probably do several. I've just started a Tuscany AAR, but I've decided to drop the craziness for that one, and try not to go in that direction.
Boy, is it hard!!

Still, to quote Smokie once again:
"Now Serbia's gone, but I'm still here...
You know I'll be writing for twenty more years..."

 

[Laur]

the pink orchestra's tribute concert to serbia

Tell me true, tell me why was Jesus crucified
is it for this that Serbia died
Was it you, was it me?
Did I watch too much TV?
is that a hint of accusation in your eyes
If it wasn't for the turks
Been so good at building ships
The yards would still be open in Belgrade
and it can't be much fun for them
beneath the rising crescent
with all the serbs committing suicide.
what have we done, mehmed, what have we done
what have we done: to serbia...
should we shout! should we scream!
"what happened to the serbian dream?"
oh mehmed, mehmed what have we done?
(XV century adaptation of Pink Floyd the Post War Dream)

 

[Sharur]

Hopefully PopStars will reappear as a new AAR & game? Until then...

Bad, bad Serbia

Well the South side of the Balkans
Is the baddest part of Europa
And if you go down there
You better just beware
Of a nation named Serbia

They'll batter you to death with cavalry
And then they'll crush you with their mighty foot
And just go ask Croatia
Or the whole of Dalmatia
About how they burn and loot

'Cause they're bad, bad Serbians
The baddest men in the whole Balkans
Badder than old Turkey
And meaner than Burgundy

Yes, they're bad, bad Serbians
The baddest men in the whole Balkans
They'll crush your country like a bug
Then stomp on you like you were a rug

Serbian AAR

Not really all that long ago... I can still remember how
Serbia used to make me smile.
And I knew if they made their treks,
There'd be many people to annex,
And maybe they'd be happy for a while.
But the CTD, it destroyed the game,
I didn't know just who to blame,
Those crazy Ethiopian Orthodox...
Or even mighty Paradox?

The computer must have groaned and sighed,
To end the game, without his guide,
Perhaps, perhaps, his harddrive fried,
The day Serbia died.

So... Bye, bye Serbian AAR
Guess we couldn't make it to France because it was too far
No more giving the Turks the good ol' feather and tar
Singing songs of this glorious AAR
songs of this glorious AAR

 

[unmerged(6925)]

Nickleback's: "How you fight me"

Could'nt cut it as a war monger; could'nt cut it as a general siege stealin', and this is how you remind me of the whimp that Kosovo is; this is how you remind me of the whimp that Kosovo is. Its not like they're that sorry. I was waitin' on glorious GC. This time I'm mistaken for playing a country not worth taking! I've been wrong, I've been down unto the bottom of every bankruptcy. These foul words in my head scream,"That was a &*(^*& game!" Yeaaahhhh! Yeaaaahh! Is this GC fun yet? Yeaaah! Yeaaah! Is the GC fun yet?

(to the melody of 'How You Remind Me' by Nickleback)

 

[Norgesvenn]

Revival, folks...

Well, I just started a game as Denmark. And I've played a few years... so, since this very silly thread remains open, I'll post a song about my experiences...

Proud Denmark
Raised a huge army in Jutland
Conquered both Holstein and Mecklemburg
And I never lost a minute of sleep when,
Worrying 'bout those BadBoy points

Big Denmark keeps on toiling
Europe's close to boiling
I'm rolling
Rolling
Rolling over Europe

There are a lot of states in Europe
Ready with their little DoW
But I really stopped them, RMs
Are they way the keep them close

Big Denmark keeps on churning
Oh, and Sweden is really burning
We're burning,
Burning
Burning Scandinavia

/silly guitar solo/

If you're a state in Central Europe
Mabye a member of the H-R-E
Well, I'd start to worry
Or maybe you'll feel sorry
Denmark's on the way down to ya'

Big Denmark keeps on rolling
Europe's in for a mauling
We're mauling
Mauling
Mauling all of Europe

(CCR, 'Proud Mary')

And, oh yes, there's more silliness to come...

 

[kurtbrian]

Excellent!

 

[Norgesvenn]

Feel free to continue the tradition, ladies & gentlemen... Have fun!!