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    The realm rejoices as Paradox Interactive announces the launch of Crusader Kings III, the latest entry in the publisher’s grand strategy role-playing game franchise. Advisors may now jockey for positions of influence and adversaries should save their schemes for another day, because on this day Crusader Kings III can be purchased on Steam, the Paradox Store, and other major online retailers.


    Real Strategy Requires Cunning

DDRJake

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Frogs' legs tandoori




Well it's time. My canceled loan CBs get me elbow deep in the war that will decide the fate of the HRE. As a reminder for the uninitiated, the HRE can be disbanded if every elector is either vassalised or have their capital occupied by you. The emperor himself must also have his capital occupied. Prussia, Bohemia, Brandenburg, Gorz, Austria, Mainz and Phalzgrafschaft Bei Rhein, all carrying the scent of perfume and faux leather handbags, must be put in their respective places if manliness is ever to take root in the Germanic region of Europe through the hairy-chested Anhalt and Mazovia. The troops march south from their deployment in Mecklenburg. Pay close attention to the manpower.





Not off to the best of starts. Although I do not have to fight them all at once, I am horribly outnumbered with no real opportunity to bring in more regiments. I take great care to establish supply areas within Bohemia as quickly as possible; the less attrition I take the more men I can afford to lose in actual battle. A few provinces are instantly assaulted then forces are split up to slowly take the rest of the lands. The forts are around level 3 and take some time to fall. Most provinces can supply around 20,000 of my troops, made better due to highly skilled generals. How Franconia was deemed more powerful than Bohemia, Austria and Sweden to remain warleader I will never know. Womanly logic is an oxymoron unto itself.

And by christ my new king is bollocks.





France and the ruler of Wurzburg have a lady's feud and do not allow each other military access. This gives me a little breathing space to secure my occupation zones but this is a mountain I will have to climb sooner or later; the French are blocking me from Mainz's and Phalzgrafschaft Bei Rhein's capital provinces. I call Cornwall into the battle in the hopes than they can put a little added pressure on France by taking their Brittish lands. Between France and Sweden, my action is regretted. The English rise up in the Cornish lands and put the squeeze on.






I allow some time for my manpower to regenerate. Decades of building up my infrastructure back home were utterly worth it. Meiou really digs into your manpower if you go naval/quality/free subjects and the province improvements become invaluable. I get Sweden out of the war although Cornwall are far from thankful. I now only need 2 more capitals to secure the destruction of the HRE, and no number of eager-to-die Frenchman are going to stop me.



The most satisfying button in Europa​

But what now? France will not accept peace and I am not willing to bow to any woman. The fight is far from over. the theater is set in Rheinhessen and where the battle for Europe was won, the battle of pride now takes place.






Gah, the bloody French. If you thought France was powerful in vanilla, this'll curl your toes. They have, what, over 3 times as many provinces, probably more, and just have a never ending amount of manpower and troops. Mix in the Very Hard difficuly setting, their land focus and Latin tech and I am just getting creamed. I have a few tricks up my own sleeve though. In battle your troops fight at a maximum width of 30 regiments. I make sure to defend and combine troops as much as I can to ensure that my lines are unbroken and that my back row is full of cannons which can attack from the back and help defend the troops to the front. France's relative lack of cannons alongside my high discipline puts me at a tactical advantage. Sadly my dwindling manpower and the fact that I never got a bloody month of moral and manpower regen between the main battles and shocking dice rolls meant that I got thrashed. Not without taking down a hearty number of Frenchmen though. Meat's back on the manu, boys!

Eventually I run for my life make a tactical retreat through Northern France and, avoiding the French Death Fleet, I ferry what's left of my men over to Cornwall to help them out. It's high time they got a hand with...Jesus, is that Castille?





I gained what I set out to do, but the victory taste is like celery and roses where I wanted Steak and WD40. France can enjoy being in one piece...for now.

Anhalt was taken during the war and will swiftly be liberated and fed. The few other manly nations remaining shall also be allowed to grow and then, I promise you: Europa, no, Grand Strategy will never be the same again.


Please remember to vote in the

AARland Choice AwAARds 2012

for your favourite recently updated AARs!


shamelessly ripped off from diegoami who ripped off Prawnstar

 
Last edited:

DDRJake

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Fabulous.
Are there any pink Chinese nations?
Yuan is Pink, but they suffer from the same lack of genitals as Poland.

That's impressive ! you gained a new pink vassal-ally for only 16 infamy! :D
16 for taking English lands, 2 for declaring on England for no CB, 2 for declaring on Cornwall, 4 for vassalising Cornwall. Still much faster and more infamy efficient than doing England Piece by Piece. Satisfying too.

I'm pretty sure I've seen Yuan as pink, but the mod probably made it hard, if not impossible, to play as them (I know that in Death and Taxes their nation is in chaos with rebels everywhere and all of the other Chinese nations are dogpiling them).
Yuan are terrible in Meiou. They are slightly improved in the most recent patch but in all my Meiou games I've only seem them survive and thrive once.

I can't wait for the next update. The hope for crazy things was the reason I started following this AAR, but crazier things, now that's just gravy.
And now I finally understand why dogpiles lead to revolutions whose war drags on and on until a forced white peace, because the other nation is almost fully occupied but by 4 different nations. I'd been idly wondering which of the 2 nations was the one that refused to peace out in those cases.
Crazy is what I do. Also revolution wars are usually a whole big pain in the arse but if you understand them and make them bend to your will, they are the most powerful types of wars in the game. It's all part of being a man.
 

unmerged(471650)

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Great update - I dislike the HRE and most european countries.
It Is a manly feeling to push that button.
and where did you get a picture of my arms? oh no tattoos nevermind.
 

Qorten

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You didn't get your new king killed in the war? Making him a general tends to shorten their lives quite a bit usually. France is scary, also as usual. Time to get a Coalition of Manly Nations up and running to take them down a notch or two.
 

NorwayBernd

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Fabulous, utterly fantastic! :D
 

unmerged(425201)

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Fabulous.
Are there any pink Chinese nations?
I'm pretty sure I've seen Yuan as pink, but the mod probably made it hard, if not impossible, to play as them (I know that in Death and Taxes their nation is in chaos with rebels everywhere and all of the other Chinese nations are dogpiling them).

Yuan are terrible in Meiou. They are slightly improved in the most recent patch but in all my Meiou games I've only seem them survive and thrive once.
...Says the person who did a WC with Ryukyu before 1500...
 

NorwayBernd

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unmerged(425201)

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Nope, that would be this:



:D
Yes... holding the Pentarchy would immediately make the Papacy disband itself.... it's not like they'd move or anything...
 

NorwayBernd

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Yes... holding the Pentarchy would immediately make the Papacy disband itself.... it's not like they'd move or anything...
Well - when Rome is converted to Orthodox, as well as Jerusalem, Antioch and Alexandria... The Pope would be severely weakened, to say the least.
 

Saintlukas

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Can you feel the manliness in the air?
 

unmerged(425201)

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Goals are not set in stone yet. There will be no vast conquests, just the securing of India for the Hindus who are under threat from the mean old Muslims of the North. Westernisation is prohibited. The difficulty is set to Very hard, historical lucky nations and the spread of sea/land at 100 years.
DDRJake? Playing a game with no vast conquests? What is this world coming to?
 

DDRJake

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Oh no! The world as we knew it has revealed its true colours. Byzantium, the reminants of the thousand year empire has re-risen. Rome died millennia ago but like a true woman, BYZ insists on her way and always having the last word in. Rome died before and she shall die again.

special rules for cool attractive people

Cores are gained instantly, no nationalism. who wants to fight rebels when there are Romans to kill?
Rome now owns all of the inhabited world with full cores, no revolt risk and has horde government. They can field an army of around 3 million with bottomless manpower and income. The only manly survivors are Gotland, Anhalt, Cochin, Cornwall, Sunda, Otomis (American native country in Mexico) and Mali. Gotland is AI controlled and got Sweden, all others are players.
All players get to choose their 7 national ideas and sliders, start with full manpower tech level and type on par with ex-France, ~15k ducats and a 5 year truce.
The game is still on Very Hard mode. BYZ is full quality, up-to-date with tech and knows nothing of revolt risk.

The lineup:

Cochin: DDRJake
Sunda: Lukas Kalishanka
Cornwall: Luckyshot
Mali: Cameron
Otomis: Tandy

BEGIN!







 

SirkTheMonkey

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That Super-Rome... I fear I shall not be able to sleep tonight after seeing that monstrosity.
I presume that there shall be no peace with the Greek horde until every province in the world is under control of the League of Manly?
 

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What happened!?
 

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Oh God. How will this end?
 

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Yeah, that's one hell of an endgame boss. Looking forward to seeing what you lot are going to do about the Roman giant :)
 

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Purple Cataclysm, anybody?

I won't be drinking Grape juice for a while after seeing all that :confused: