King Louis XVI gave his First Minister an appraising look as the latter bowed deeply before him.
"Speak," said the king.
"Mon Roi, welcome back from your summer retreat. You look in excellent health."
"Thank you, de la Bretonnière... tell me of any important events that occurred during my absence."
The minister paused for a moment, then frowned with studied gravity and spoke: "Well, mon Roi, the first week our ally Spain was most cowardly attacked by Venice."
"Really? And how did our armies perform?"
"Alas, the foreign ministry thought it better to break our alliance with Spain due to deteriorating relations. So unfortunately, Spain was left alone and lost all its Italian possessions in the war."
"I see." You incompetents. "Anything else?"
The minister seemed to sense his king's thoughts, but continued bravely: "Well, during the second week of your absence we were attacked by Venice and Denmark."
"Venice again? And Denmark? Tell me more of this."
"They took advantage of our perceived diplomatic inertia and thought it safe to attack. Our allies did not help since their rulers were also at their summer retreats. But our brave armies defeated them, mon Roi!"
"Excellent. And dare I ask about the third week...?"
"We were again thrown into war with Venice and Denmark through strange machinations originating in Asia. Unfortunately, our Dutch allies and also others were drawn into war against us due to the chaos resulting from the absence of their governments. This war is still raging."
There it is then. "Very well. We shall finish it. Here are my orders..."
"Speak," said the king.
"Mon Roi, welcome back from your summer retreat. You look in excellent health."
"Thank you, de la Bretonnière... tell me of any important events that occurred during my absence."
The minister paused for a moment, then frowned with studied gravity and spoke: "Well, mon Roi, the first week our ally Spain was most cowardly attacked by Venice."
"Really? And how did our armies perform?"
"Alas, the foreign ministry thought it better to break our alliance with Spain due to deteriorating relations. So unfortunately, Spain was left alone and lost all its Italian possessions in the war."
"I see." You incompetents. "Anything else?"
The minister seemed to sense his king's thoughts, but continued bravely: "Well, during the second week of your absence we were attacked by Venice and Denmark."
"Venice again? And Denmark? Tell me more of this."
"They took advantage of our perceived diplomatic inertia and thought it safe to attack. Our allies did not help since their rulers were also at their summer retreats. But our brave armies defeated them, mon Roi!"
"Excellent. And dare I ask about the third week...?"
"We were again thrown into war with Venice and Denmark through strange machinations originating in Asia. Unfortunately, our Dutch allies and also others were drawn into war against us due to the chaos resulting from the absence of their governments. This war is still raging."
There it is then. "Very well. We shall finish it. Here are my orders..."
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