P is for Portugal

[Farquharson]

is for Portugal


Chapter 1
Pedro’s Partial Prescript​

Nuna Álvares Pereira, Supreme Commander of the Portuguese Armed Forces and closest friend to King João I: The plan is preposterous, Sire!

King João I of Portugal: Preposterous perhaps, Pereira, but possible nevertheless, don’t you think?

Pereira: No Sire, to be honest I doubt if it is even possible. And I really think there are very shaky grounds for even considering it.

King João, waving an age-worn scroll in the air: But the parchment, man, the parchment!

Pereira: Yes, well - read it out to me once again, your majesty.

King João: “I, Pedro I do solemnly charge my sons and their descendants, upon my own death, to rule this Kingdom wisely and justly, to lead her to glory and greatness, and to triumph against all her enemies. In particular it is my wish that they must conquer...” whatever it says.

Pereira: Smudge.

King João: You can make out the P.

Pereira: Is there no-one who knows what it might have said?

King João: No-one still alive, no. And so it is my intention that, in honour of my dearly beloved father Pedro the Cruel...

Pereira: He wasn’t that dearly beloved.

King João: Well, I thought he was quite nice. Anyway, in his honour we must make sure to conquer this “P”.

Pereira: Pride!

King João: What?

Pereira: Perhaps it said “they must conquer Pride”?

King João: Poppycock! Would Pedro the Cruel ever have written something as namby-pamby as that?

Pereira: Um... no, perhaps not.

King João: Absolutely not!

Pereira: Perhaps it was pagans - “they must conquer pagans”.

King João: It’s a capital “P”, Pereira.

Pereira: Could have been a typo...

King João: Look, Pereira, if I didn’t know you better, I’d be starting to think all this prevaricating on your part was down to cowardice. Are you afraid to try and conquer every province in the world whose name begins with P?

Pereira: No Sire, not afraid. You know I would gladly die fighting for my beloved King and country! I just have this nagging feeling that it might all be a big mistake.

King João: Hah! Even supposing it were a mistake - what a great and glorious mistake it would be!

Pereira: Well, perhaps so, your majesty. But meanwhile, what about the war with Morocco and Tlemcen?

King João: Easy - we take from them all their provinces that begin with P!

Pereira: Er... they’re Arabs, sire. They don’t have the letter P in their alphabet.

King João: What? You mean they don’t even possess any “P” provinces?

Pereira: Not one, sire.

King João: Well, for such impudence they deserve to be utterly humiliated. I want Sultan Yahya of Morocco and Sultan Mohammed IV of Tlemcen grovelling at my feet to beg forgiveness - see to it, Pereira!

Pereira: Yes, sire!

Being a bastard, by rights João I should never have got to the throne of Portugal. This was no longer the age of Crusader Kings, however, and the people of Portugal had a more enlightened attitude. When João’s elder brother Fernando I, eldest son of Pedro the Cruel, died without a male heir in 1383, his daughter Brites was proposed as queen by Castile. This seemed like a nice plan to Castile since Princess Brites was married to King Juan I of Castile. Portugal faced being effectively swallowed up into Castile or finding an alternative candidate. Enter João the bastard brother and his trusty friend Nuna Álvares Pereira. With the help of Pereira’s military genius and the support of the wealthy English nobleman John of Gaunt, João soundly defeated the Castilians in a brief war and the people of Portugal willingly accepted him as their new and thoroughly Portuguese King.

Now it was 1419 and João was married to John of Gaunt’s daughter Philippa, who had provided him with a healthy clutch of male heirs to keep the throne of Portugal secure. He also had a couple bastard sons of his own, the elder of whom was married to Pereira’s daughter Beatriz.

What King João and Pereira were discussing was an old parchment that had just been unearthed in the Portuguese Royal Archives. It appeared to be some kind of last request by João’s father King Pedro, but unfortunately the crucial word had somehow got smudged and was now unreadable. All that was clear was that Pedro’s royal descendants were charged with conquering something beginning with P. King João decided that this would best be achieved by conquering everything beginning with P. Thus did the story of Portugal’s glorious Age of Conquest begin...

A statue of King João I that was later erected in Lisbon​

Game notes
Version: 1.09, AGCEEP 1.39
Country: Portugal, Grand Campaign
Settings: Normal/Normal (wimpish, as usual)
The Goal: Conquer every province in the world that begins with the letter P by 1819

Portugal’s Stats in 1419
Provinces owned: 5 (3 cities, 2 colonies)
CoTs owned: 1 (Tago)
Income: 25.9
Supportable Army: 14000
Tech levels: Land 2, Naval 2, Trade 1, Infra 1
DP settings: Arist=7, Cent=4, Innov=2, Merc=9, Off=5, Land=1, Qual=5, Serf=7

Provinces owned that begin with P: 0

The Iberian Peninsula in 1419
Portugal is at war with Morocco (khaki) and Tlemcen (light grey)
Portugal also has two Level 1 colonies, in the Azores and the Cape Verde Islands​

A List of the 38 Provinces beginning with P
Western Europe (5): Provence, Piemonte, Poitou, Picardie, Pfalz
Eastern Europe (9): Presburg, Pest, Poznan, Prussia, Podlasia, Podolia, Poltava, Polotsk, Pskov
Africa (1): Palanas
South America (8): Potosi, Pastaza, Para, Parnaiba, Pernambuc, Parana, Pampas del Norte, Pampas del Sur
North America (6): Pinalero, Pecos, Powhatan, Penobscot, Placentia, Puerto Rico
Asia/Far East (10): Palakimedi, Pondicherry, Palana, Phuket, Perak, Palembang, Palawan, Panjab, Pimsk

(If anyone spots any omissions or errors in this list please say...)

 

[Farquharson]

It is with a certain amount of trepidation that I'm starting this thread, having abandoned my last three AARs halfway through. I don't like starting AARs and not finishing them so I'm hoping this one will get me out of the rut. Firstly, I've returned to EUII from CK - and my track record of finishing EUII AARs is a lot better. In fact, I never once finished a game of CK, AARed or not. I'm not sure what it is about the game - I do enjoy CK but something about the way the game develops always gets me bored with it after a while.

Coming back to EUII on the other hand has reminded of how totally awesome this game is. I just played a complete game as Lithuania and enjoyed every moment of it. So now it's time to try another AAR...

I've always liked the idea of AARs where the game has a very specific goal, especially if it's a bit bizarre (TimN's "Bruce and Barry get Bushwhacked" springs to mind), but I've never done one myself. So here is my first attempt - play as Portugal and try to conquer or colonize every province in the world that starts with the letter P. OK, so it's not much of a challenge (compared, say, with "P is for Pfalz" or "P is for Pegu", etc) but I want to be sure of success. Why? Because I like winning and because the aim isn't to have a hard time but rather to have fun and play a different kind of a game from normal.

I'm also looking forward to playing a country with lots of history to find out about (and lampoon, of course...) since that was kind of lacking for my last two EUII AARs (Mombasa and Gujarat). I knew absolutely nothing about Portuguese history a few days ago - now I'm learning fast. So hopefully the tale will be both entertaining as well as educational - as always!

 

[Ciçatrix]

:rofl:
This sounds interesting...
Good luck.

 

[Saulta]

Good luck,

 

[coz1]

Ahhh...::settles in with a nice, warm cup of coffee::...a new Farq AAR! Why not add to your goal that you must make sure there are no other countries that begin with the letter P? Poland, Persia, etc. It might add some excitement to the end-game. Either way, this ought to be good. Great to see a new one, Farq!

 

[J. Passepartout]

Excellent, a new AAR! I am quite happy I noticed this.

I think that Pedro meant for the land of Pagan in southeast Asia to be conquered, a land which, admittedly, is also frequently spelled with a B, but it allows for the capitalised P.

 

[unmerged(15337)]

... to rule the Kingdom of Portugal wisely and justly, to lead her to glory and greatness, and to triumph against all her enemies. In particular it is my wish that they must conquer...” whatever it says.

Now, to understand and interpret Pedro's true intentions, we must search for the context of the famous "Conquer P" statement. Clearly the sentence "In particular..." is written with reference to the preceding one, "...to triumph against all her enemies." So whatever the P is, it must be counted among Portugal's known or foreseen enemies at the time of Pedro's writing. Hmm, so let's see what we can come up with.

Portugal? Hardly likely for a king who rules Portugal in the first place.

Poland? I doubt there was even any interaction between the two states during Pedro's time. Ditto for Prussia, Persia, etc.

Pagans? At this time hardly any of them were even known, as the main enemy for Christians were the various Islamic powers.

Which brings us to public enemy number one: the Ottoman Empire. Now, they don't begin with P, but with a bit of imaginative interpretation we can finesse that problem. As I recall, the Ottoman royal court was known as the Sublime Porte. Following Romance language syntax (well, French is all I know) in most cases the adjective would follow the noun, giving us Porte Sublime -- in short, a worthy opponent beginning with P!

So there it is, Farquharson: go get the Ottoman Turks.

 

[Van Engel]

OMG OMG OMG Farq is back! Will we see yet another disappearing act? Or will you atleast say you are leaving this time?

 

[Fiftypence]

Looks good, will be following.

 

[unmerged(34682)]

Good. I like Portugal. I also like zany, outlandish game goals. This should be perfect.

 

[EvilSanta]

Bring all those P:s to your great empire.Portugal is father of P:s!

 

[RossN]

Excellent. Looking forward to this AAR.

 

[Farquharson]

First of all, a Happy New Year to one and all, and thanks to all for reading and posting. As always, this is what will keep me going if anything will! To answer some specific comments:

coz1: I like the "obliteration of P nations" idea - after all, who is to say that the "P" in the parchment was a province and not an entire nation? However, my primary goal will remain the P province one. It did occur to me what I would do if I achieved this goal significantly before 1819 - the P nation secondary goal could kick in at that point.

J.Passepartout: The point is of course, that we shall never know for sure what Pedro intended, so the only way to be sure of fulfilling his wish is to conquer everything. And yes, the Portuguese will certainly need to do a fair bit of conquering in southeast Asia - when they find their way there that is!

jwolf: After doing a little research into Pedro's life, I'm afraid I have to report that he wasn't particularly interested in Turk-bashing. In fact, one of the things he tried to do was to free Portugal from Papal intervention. Could the P have been "Papacy"? Aha! Portugal will have to become Protestant!

Van Engel: No disappearing act, I promise! Anyway I have a good feeling about this AAR. With such a specific goal in view I should have plenty of motivation to continue - just keep reading and posting!

And the good news is that I had already played to 1425 when I posted Chapter 1 and I've now written most of it up, so there should be an update coming very soon.

 

[Farquharson]

Chapter 2
Pereira puts the Pirates in their Place​

King João I of Portugal had made his decision. Every province in the world whose name began with a “P” had to be brought under Portuguese domination. It may take some time but one day the task would be accomplished. In the meantime, however, there was the small problem of the pesky piratical nations of North Africa, Morocco and Tlemcen. First they had to be punished for having no provinces beginning with P - clearly nothing but a sneaky strategy that they thought would spare them any unwanted attention from Portugal - and secondly they could perhaps even be persuaded to help King João in the first step towards accomplishing his task, that is expansion across the Iberian Peninsula, at the expense of his scheming neighbour Castile, of course. King João quickly sent his eldest (legitimate) son Duarte to the court of King Alfons V of Aragon, inviting him to an alliance.

Prince Duarte: Your highness, I bring warm greetings from his excellency my father King João I of Portugal.

King Alfons V of Aragon: How nice! The old boy is doing well these days, I trust? Plenty of royal heirs, anyway, what?

King Alfons V of Aragon​

Prince Duarte: Yes indeed! My father has made sure that the scheming Castilians won’t be getting their hands on our kingdom in a while. As for me, I intend to carry on the work when the time... oh! My lady!

For at this moment a ravishing young maiden appears bringing some dainty sweetmeats on a golden platter.

King Alfons: I don’t believe you’ve met my younger sister, the Princess Leonor.

Prince Duarte, blushing in confusion: No your majesty... I... I have not had that exquisite pleasure...

King Alfons: Leonor, this is Prince Duarte of Portugal. He was just telling me how many royal heirs he intends to produce. But you’re not actually married yet, right? Not that that ever stopped your family, did it? Haw, haw, haw!

Prince Duarte: Ahem - very drole, your highness.

Princess Leonor: Oh darling, you’re embarassing the poor man. Why Prince Duarte, I’m astonished that such a handsome young man as yourself should still be single.

Prince Duarte, now crimson: Well, you know how it is when you’re a royal heir and all that - it’s all politics, isn’t it?

King Alfons: Speaking of which, I’m sure you didn’t come all the way from Lisbon to talk about the weather.

Prince Duarte: No, your majesty, I... * Princess Leonor flutters her eyelids at him, which he valiantly tries to ignore * I came, er... I came to talk about an Alliance. Yes, that’s it! An Alliance.

Princess Leonor: Mmmm. What kind of alliance exactly, Prince Duarte?

King Alfons: Leonor, perhaps you should leave us to discuss these matters alone. I’m sure all this politics bores you to tears.

Princess Leonor: Oh not at all! I simply adore politics...

King Alfons, frowning meaningfully: Princess Leonor...

Princess Leonor: Oh - yes, right. Terribly dull, yes. I’ll just leave you men to discuss the politics then.

She leaves, flashing a smile at Prince Duarte before stepping out the door.

Prince Duarte: Thank you, your majesty. I think it might be easier to talk just between the two of us. As I was saying, I was sent to discuss the possibility of an Alliance. A Military Alliance, that is.

King Alfons: You want some help in your North African war, is that it?

Prince Duarte: Well, any help you could give there would be welcome, no doubt. I’m sure General Pereira has things pretty much under control though.

King Alfons: So why a Military Alliance, then?

Prince Duarte: Well, you know, we do have a common neighbour...

King Alfons, frowning and looking thoughtful: Ye-e-e-e-es...

Prince Duarte: Quite a large common neighbour. And let’s face it, in this game, who wants large neighbours?

King Alfons: Hmm, yes. I prefer small ones myself, it’s true.

Prince Duarte, lowering his voice slightly: Of course, large neighbours can always be made smaller, your majesty - when the right opportunity comes along, that is...

King Alfons: Yes, quite so... Well I think your idea of a Military Alliance sounds quite attractive, put in those terms.

Prince Duarte: Can I take that as a yes, your highness?

King Alfons: Yes, I think you can take it as a yes.

And so King Alfons V of Aragon entered into an Alliance with King João I of Portugal. The Aragonese fleet immediately took to the seas and began inflicting defeats on the Moroccan and Tlemcen navies. Meanwhile on land, as Prince Duarte had said, General Pereira had things pretty much under control. During the years from 1419 to 1424 he directed the victorious Portuguese armies across the length and breadth of North Africa, while province after province fell into their hands.

The Moroccan capital Fez, captured in 1420​

By 1422 the whole of Tlemcen was occupied and Sultan Mohammed IV was brought before King João to grovel and beg forgiveness for having no provinces in his realm that began with a P. He was forced to swear fealty to Portugal, to give their armies military access to his lands, and to pay King João all the gold he had. It took two more years for General Pereira to bring the last Moroccan province under his control, whereupon Sultan Yahya also grovelled before King João, swore fealty and handed over all his gold. He also granted Portugal the province of Tangiers. Of course Tangiers did not begin with P, but it was clearly meant to be part of Portugal anyway, and depriving Morocco of their only port ensured that they would be far less troublesome in the future.

General Pereira returned to Lisbon and presented his King with some interesting items he had picked up during the sack of Fez.

General Nuna Álvares Pereira: Your majesty, let me congratulate you on a glorious victory over the pirate nations of Barbaria!

King João: You are too modest, Pereira. What could I have done without your genius?

Pereira: Thank you sire. I have something that may interest you - I did not trust these to a messenger but preferred to deliver them in person. See what we found in the Sultan’s palace in Fez - maps!

King João, studying the maps eagerly: Wonderful Pereira! What do they know that we don’t?

Pereira: Well, sire, there are these as yet totally uncivilized lands to the south - Tassaret, Mdennah, and so on. Also they appear to know of a great trading centre in a place called Timbuktu.

King João: Yes, yes, but what about the Ps, man? Provinces with a P?

Pereira: Er... no, sire. There don’t appear to be any on these maps.

King João: Huh! The insolence of these barbarians!

Pereira: No doubt the cunning blighters changed the names of their provinces deliberately.

King João: * sigh * Well, nothing we can do about that. Meanwhile let's start sending out some traders and merchants. We’re going to need plenty of income if we’re ever going to accomplish the great Master Plan!

Portugal and her newly acquired vassals in 1425
Note also the newly established trading post in Tassaret​

 

[Ciçatrix]

Nice update!
So, no new Ps this time, but I guess the time will come.

 

[J. Passepartout]

It was obvious that the King of Aragon could not allow these two young bugs to marry, since neither of them has a P in their names.

If only Timbuktu had a P.

 

[Saulta]

Great update!!! Can´t wait until you get to Palanas...Poor Dahomey...They won´t stand a chance against the P-loving Portuguese...

 

[Farquharson]

Ciçatrix: Yep, I'm not sure when we're going to lay hands on our first P province. I could do an alliance hop and have a go at Provence - someone is always bashing them around at this stage in the game - except I'm the alliance leader...

J.Passepartout: Well, Timbuktu doesn't have a P, but there are no rules about NOT taking provinces that DON'T begin with P. Whatever is necessary for the Master Plan will be done!

Saulta: I'm glad you mentioned Palanas. For some reason I had it down as being somewhere in the Far East and had even said that there were no P provinces at all in Africa. Now I see it's actually on my way south, and coastal at that - Perfect!

 

[Grundius]

Farquharson is back! Normally I'm not a big fan of AARs about games with wacko goals, however... well.... Let's just say MBF Gujarat is still one of my favorites of all time so... Good luck I'd say.

 

[Fiftypence]

Those North Africans are so inconsiderate, not having any provinces beginning with P! Great update.