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Farquharson said:
1184-Knights.jpg

The sort of trouble that inter-faith dialogue can get you into​

I almost died laughing when I read this (literally...I was swallowing a sip of coffee when I read it!)
 
*mental lightbulb turns on*

It all makes sense now! The presence of an Inexplicable Russian, the mad Hungarian rampage in the East, the ominous appearance of Adolf von Passau at the beginning of the AAR...

In order to secure the success of the creation of the Alphabetical P Diocese, the von Passau dynasty must secure a strong base of operations in the East from which it can launch its campaigns. That bastion must be Poland! Everything has been pointing in that direction the whole time! :eek:
 
Specialist290 said:
*mental lightbulb turns on*

It all makes sense now! The presence of an Inexplicable Russian, the mad Hungarian rampage in the East, the ominous appearance of Adolf von Passau at the beginning of the AAR...

In order to secure the success of the creation of the Alphabetical P Diocese, the von Passau dynasty must secure a strong base of operations in the East from which it can launch its campaigns. That bastion must be Poland! Everything has been pointing in that direction the whole time! :eek:

Great Scott he's right!
 
Oops, time for some fb-to-fb...

stnylan: Unfortunately, the province of Pereyaslavl is part of the now gigantic Principality of Pereyaslavl, so this really is one of the tougher ones to get still. In fact I wouldn't be surprised if the Prince declares himself King of Rus soon.

RGB: Um, yes, but Peresechen is in the personal demesne of the Byzantine Emperor, another tricky challenge!

Actinguy: I'm laughing just imagining you in the hotel lobby... :D Welcome aboard anyway.

Chief Ragusa: Funniest thing about Count Borel is that he became Rebellious and STILL kept being pleased with my wise and fair rule... :wacko: And as I mentioned, Peresechen is not mine - it was the one that got away while I was distracted taking Pest. What a Pest...

Deus: Ordulf is Inexplicably Prussian! Precisely! :D

Murmurandus: Yes, fortunately the Project was saved from catastrophe by a timely untimely death...

FlorisDeVijfde: DV addresses the issue of knowing your newborn child's stats as I understand it. After I finish this game I will be switching, but meanwhile I'll make the most of all such amusing anomalies! ;)

RGB[2]: Aside from trying to become King of Poland as well, which might be fun, what I need from Poland is Poznanskie and Plock. So far the Kingdom of Poland has stayed strong and stable - much to my annoyance! :mad:

phargle: Taking that comment at face value - thanks! :D

Alfred Packer: What I haven't worked out is how this actually happened (the Knights Hospitaliers becoming Muslim). Anyone got any theories (aside from the obvious inter-faith dialogue gone haywire one, that is)?

Specialist290, AP: Hmm... Everyone seems to have it in for poor Poland. You're forgetting Sviatoslav's own dear mother is Polish, how could he contemplate doing anything to upset her?

Well, the next ten years are played, up to 1200, and an update is in the pipeline.
 
I saw the same thing with the Hospitallers. I assumed it was from when the province was taken. He either was born to a courtier who stayed Muslim or married into the court from another province and was the strongest candidate to succeed the previous Grandmaster.

Now the Pereschen situation becomes clear. What the heck are the Byzantines doing there?

One of the weakest points of CK was that if you have a claim on the royal title and can take the royal domain, you can become King regardless of the wishes of the vassals. Poland's king may not have a large personal domain
 
Possible Prussians pushing periodically for perpetual possession of P-provinces? Preposterous!
Excellent story so far, glad to have dropped by back into the forum in time to see it, has it really been a year since I was here last, wow!
Keep up the good work.
 
Chief Ragusa: I looked into it out of curiosity and found that it happened in 1179 when the Grandmaster died with only two Muslims in his court. Having Elective Law the Order was thus bound to have a Muslim as the next Grandmaster. :wacko:

Major_Rawne: You were away for a year? Wow, I thought I'd a had a long break! Well, welcome back - great to have the hero of the Conquest of Panjab among us! ;)
 
Chapter 14 (1191-1200)

Persistent Perfidy and Papal Power

1191 was known as the Year of the Four Chancellors. In February Chancellor Kálmán, who had served for ten years but had been ill for the last five of them, finally died. He was replaced by the much less able Matylda Árpád, second wife of King Kálmán and thus Sviatoslav's stepgrandmother. She was however only 34, but fell ill in July and was dead by November. She was replaced by the 71 year-old Spy Mistress Violante de Lomagne, with Sviatoslav's Aunt Sophia becoming the new Spy Mistress. Of course Violante didn't last long, dying in March 1192 and being replaced by Jalila Papareschi, who was not the Jalila, we should hasten to point out, but a Muslim nevertheless.

Having a Muslim Chancellor was not of course ideal, but competent candidates were getting thin on the ground in King Sviatoslav's court. Perhaps this was why his Uncle Gergely, Duke of Provence, declared independence - well, that and the fact that, despite being the eldest son, he had been supplanted by his younger brother Dömötör the certified lunatic, which he was apparently still a tad bitter about. Luckily he did not actually own the province of Provence, but he did have the Count of Podlasie as his vassal, so it was important to get him back. As it turned out, after a small financial bribe he agreed to a re-vassalization just months after his rebellion. Next to break away was the Count of Aleppo, but since he only owned the County of Aleppo he was allowed to go. Why on earth were his vassals rebelling? Sviatoslav was mystified, but he was also getting pretty vengeful about it.

Meanwhile Bishop Friedrich (who for those interested in genealogy was the grandson of Count Ulric and his third wife "Skollie" Borkalán), was starting to get upset about the number of provinces in the Diocese which had still not been brought into the Catholic fold. It was time to start making steps to remedy this.


1191-Friedrich.jpg

Bishop Friedrich gets serious - but fortunately survives and doesn't even get severely wounded​

The Bishop's valiant efforts bore fruit in 1194 when the people of Pskov finally bade farewell to their heretical Orthodox doctrine and became good Catholics.

Count Borel of Auvergne, that great connoisseur of heavy-handed and tradition-bound rule, was by now becoming rebellious, presumably because Sviatoslav's rule was not in fact heavy-handed and tradition-bound enough for him. When he finally broke away in disgust in 1194, King Sviatoslav vowed revenge but did nothing to stop him. He was not a P-province holder, after all, and so was an unimportant nobody in the grand scheme of things.

The following year saw the death of Spy Mistress Sophia, who was replaced in this role by Ayyub Banu Hilal, the second member of the Banu Hilal family, and therefore the second Muslim courtier, to be promoted to a high position in King Sviatoslav's administration. This was clearly too much for Uncle Gergely, Duke of Provence, who broke away from the Kingdom for a second time, once again taking the Count of Podlasie with him. Once again King Sviatoslav vowed revenge, but did not wreak it immediately. In fact the Tribe of Curonian did part of the job for him, declaring war on the treacherous Duke late in 1196. Their aim was of course to take Podlasie from him, which suited King Sviatoslav very well. He assembled an army on the borders of Podlasie, and as soon as it fell to the heathen tribesmen, he declared war and invaded. This theatre of operations being a little far from Porto, the King had not been able to lead the army in person, but had sent his Marshal Salomon in his stead. Of course this would have resulted in the County passing directly into the Marshal's hands instead of the King's, which Sviatoslav did not really want. When news arrived in Porto that Salamon had fought bravely against the heathens, and then died of old age during the siege, the King was therefore only marginally grieved at the loss - Podlasie was now in his personal demesne after all, and he soon found a new Marshal in the person of Pedro de Chacim, who was at least as able as Salamon.

1197-Pedro.jpg

In January 1197 the Pope had died and it was Sviatoslav's vassal, Bishop Ludolf of Tell Atlas, who was elected as his successor. The Duke of Anjou remained Papal Controller until he died in September 1197, when King Sviatoslav took over. This would have been quite exciting if Pope Ludolf had had any prestige, but unfortunately he didn't, so interesting projects like excommunicating the King of Poland had to be put on hold for the time being. Sviatoslav contented himself with having his own excommunicated vassals accepted back into the church in the hopes that they would then like him more and be less rebellious.

Next it was time to wreak vengeance on rebellious Uncle Gergely. He no longer had any P provinces, but he did have a lot of gold. The Piombino Regiment was therefore mobilized and began marching towards his capital in Saluces. During a brief war in which the Duke's army was all but wiped out and his capital put under siege, the penitent Duke begged for mercy from his nephew. He offered all his gold if he could be allowed to keep his lands - the provinces of Saluces and Forcalquier. Magnanimously Sviatoslav agreed.


1198-Peace.jpg

Admit it, Uncle Gergely - being rebellious just isn't cool these days​

The King now made a grab on the title of the Count of Pereyaslavl, partly to see exactly what he would be up against in a war against the Principality of Pereyaslavl. The Prince ruled over a huge realm, and was capable of raising over 60000 men to defend it. For the moment Sviatoslav left him in peace.

1198-Pereyaslavl.jpg

Sviatoslav takes a peek at the preposterously over-sized Principality of Pereyaslavl​

One reason for this was that there were actually much easier pickings to be had elsewhere now. The current Emperor of Byzantium happened to be none other than Nikolaos the Utterly Incompetent, under whose disastrous rule the Empire was rapidly falling to pieces.

1198-Nikolaos.jpg

These days, Nikolaos mostly runs the Empire from the comfort of his bed​

This was excellent news for the Passau Project. The County of Philippopolis had already broken away as part of the small and now fairly defenceless Principality of Sinope, while Peresechen was still part of the Emperor's personal demesne. It was Peresechen on which King Sviatoslav already had a claim, and it was therefore there that he decided to strike first. It did not take long - within a few months a Portuguese army had invaded and captured Peresechen. The Emperor immediately handed the province over to Sviatoslav along with his rather unimpressive treasury - 8 gold pieces.

This had not done anything to help the Emperor in his struggle against the Seljuk Turks of course, who were gradually eating up the Empire. Soon after the liberation of Peresechen, in April 1200, Constantinople itself fell to the infidels. Naturally the Pope was rather peeved about this, and he expected King Sviatoslav to take some sort of action in response to the calamity, since he was clearly at least partially responsible.

1200-Byzantium.jpg

Sviatoslav's decision to call for a crusade to liberate the great city went some way towards mollifying His Holiness, but the Pope still had some other issues with the Portuguese King. The number of infidels he was employing in his court, for example. Papal Inquisitors soon began arriving in Porto to give the King a helping hand with this problem. Chancellor Jalila took one look at the equipment they had brought with them and began crossing herself and muttering Hail Marys. Spy Master Ayyub, on the other hand, was made of sterner stuff. The Inquistor did his best, but the mule-headed Ayyub just didn't get it.

1200-Ayyub.jpg

So it was time to find a new Spy Master, and the lucky candidate was Guy de Puylaurens, lazy, arbitrary, but indisputably Christian. The Inquisitors all went back to Rome satisfied.

And now a young girl whom King Sviatoslav had been keeping an eye on finally came of age. Her name was Zoltána, eldest child of Kálmán Guthkeled Duke of Pecs. Sviatoslav nonchalantly suggested that the Duke might like her to marry a member of the prestigious von Passau family, what about Vysheslav, the son of Diocese Bishop Friedrich, for example? Duke Kálmán accepted immediately. The Duke was 39 years old and his only male heir was his ten year old son Tivador. Tivador was a lively, healthy young lad. It was rather a pity then, when his big sister announced she was expecting a child - young Tivador's life expectancy had suddenly got a lot shorter.


1200-Tivador.jpg


=================================​

Will Vysheslav and Zoltána manage to have a son? Will Tivador be the lucky victim of another botched von Passau assassination attempt? Who will be the lucky Crusader who manages to wrest Constantinople back from the infidel Turks? And why isn't King Sviatoslav doing anything about taking Philippopolis from the Prince of Sinope? With only eight P provinces left to procure, you won't dare to miss the next puerperal episode of "P is for Passau"!​
 
Cowardice seems to run in the PAssau line :)
 
:D What does "life expectancy" mean, Dad?

Classic!
 
Farquharson said:
...the lucky victim of another botched von Passau assassination attempt...

I needed to reread that phrase... ;) :D
 
FlorisDeVijfde: To be honest I don't think the Turks were needing much help. I only fought one very short war with the Byzantines, and took one province and a tiny amount of gold. They're still crumbling away.

Deus: Man, I hate rebelling vassals! Well, at least I can be philosophical about those who don't have P provinces, but those who do - as the first option puts it "They shall pay!" :D

stnylan: I don't think we've had many cowardly von Passaus recently. That cowardly Marshal was a de Chacim, wherever they come from.

Alfred Packer: Actually the war with Uncle Gergely was a mistake - I was thinking that, being Duke of Provence, he actually owned the County of Provence, which he didn't. I only noticed after I'd declared war! :eek:o However the prestige and gold I got from a "magnanimous" peace deal were very welcome.

Jestor: It's always a challenge to make the unavoidable topic of killing innocent children entertaining... :D

Murmurandus: Indeed - how lucky little Tivadar would be would depend on exactly how botched it was. Read on to find out!
 
Chapter 15 (1201-10)

Patient Progress and Pious Possibilities

Duke Kálmán Guthkeled of Pecs was feeling very proud. He had just become a grandfather. News had arrived from far away Porto that his eldest daughter, recently married to a relative of the mighty King Sviatoslav the Inexplicably Russian of Portugal, had just had her first child. It was a little boy, and they had named him Konstantin. It was the New Year of 1201 and the winter was still very severe in the depths of Hungary. Young Tivadar, the Duke's only son, spent his days skating on the frozen lake near the castle. Skating, as it turned out one day soon after the news of Konstantin's birth, on rather thin ice. The mysterious traveller who had been passing and supposedly rushed to "help" Tivadar when the ice had cracked beneath him, had only succeeded in breaking more of the ice and prevented him getting out of the icy water at all. Tragically the lad had drowned. It was unfortunate for the mysterious traveller that he had been watched from the castle walls as he had actually heaved a huge rock onto the ice just in front of young Tivadar. In other words, it had been another botched assassination, signed Sviatoslav von Passau.

1201-Tivadar.jpg

Little Konstantin, who was now heir to the Duchy of Pecs, was made Count of Tell Atlas to ensure that Pecs would become part of the Kingdom of Portugal when Duke Kálmán died. What King Sviatoslav had failed to notice, however, was that Duke Kálmán's wife had died and he had remarried. His new wife bore him two daughters and then in January 1203 a son, little András, who became heir to the Duchy. It took several months for this news to reach King Sviatoslav's court, and several more months for his Spy Master to organize the hit job on little András.

This time, the King was assured, nothing would go wrong. Unfortunately what they hadn't counted on was the fact that Duke Kálmán's own Spy Mistress was none other than his wife, Duchess Agáta Csanád, little András's doting mother. She was well aware of the danger her infant son was in, and kept watch day and night for Portuguese assassins trying to infiltrate Castle Guthkeled. When the assassin came however, he had a fiendishly clever disguise. Dressed as an old peasant woman peddling her magic wares, the sort of unscrupulous fraudster that plagued the Hungarian countryside in those days, he managed to get in and sell the Duchess a magical sleeping potion that would ensure that little András slept through the night. Of course, poor little András went to sleep for good when he was given the potion. The assassin escaped but the grief-stricken Duchess was in no doubt who was behind the murder of her son.

Meanwhile, having managed to make sure of Konstantin inheriting Pecs, King Sviatoslav now turned to the matter of his own heir. He now had three sons, Ordulf, Yevstafii and Rogvolod. Each one of them had the makings of a good king, but Sviatoslav was particularly anxious for Ordulf to inherit, since he was the one who took after his German mother, Oda von Franken, and who could return the Passau Project to it roots in Germany. He had turned out to be a charismatic negotiator, and he was married to Gisela von Weimar, the sickly daughter of the Duke of Meissen. Despite her illness she managed to bear a daughter. Healed by a miracle worker during her second pregnancy, she then rather carelessly died during childbirth.

1203-GiselaDies.jpg

In November 1203 Ordulf found another German wife to marry, Ute von Jülichgau from the Duchy of Österreich. During the next seven years Ordulf and Ute had four sons, all little Germans of course, before Ute died in 1210. Ordulf was therefore well equipped to become the next King of Portugal - he was made Duke of Kappadokia to ensure that he was first in line for the throne.

But what of the Passau Project these days? Was King Sviatoslav actually doing anything to bring the remaining P provinces into the Diocese of Passau? Well yes, of course he was. Recall that the Prince of Sinope had rather foolishly broken away from the crumbling Byzantine Empire some years back. It was foolish because the County of Philippopolis was part of the Prince's realm, though not for long now of course. It took only a few months during the summer of 1202 for the Prusa and Peresechen Regiments to converge on Philippopolis and liberate it in the name of King Sviatoslav. The Prince then paid all his gold to be allowed to keep the rest of his now slightly smaller realm. This left just seven P provinces still not in the Diocese.

The next war that King Sviatoslav got into was a showdown with the Emir of Aleppo, who had been responsible for capturing Constantinople from the Byzantine Empire. Sviatoslav's ally the King of England had decided to join the crusade which Sviatoslav himself had called, and invited him to come too. Of course Sviatoslav was not actually bothered about Constantinople, but he accepted anyway. He thought it might be nice to grab at least enough land from the Emir to allow the Palmyra Regiment to get out into the big wide world whenever they wanted without having to fight their way through a bunch of heathens on the way.


1204-Palmyra.jpg

The Levant in 1204 showing the escape route through Antiocheia planned by the Palmyra Regiment​

The war went well as far as the Palmyra Regiment was concerned. By August 1204 they had driven the Saracens from Antiocheia and liberated the province. The only slight hitch was that meanwhile the Emir had besieged and captured Prusa and was moving on to Philippopolis. By now King Sviatoslav himself had arrived from Porto only to suffer several humiliating defeats at the hands of the Emir. It took until January 1206 to recover Prusa and drive the Emir's armies from Philippopolis. By April the province of Tyana had also been taken from the Emir, who then agreed to a white peace.

As if having to take back P provinces from pesky Saracens wasn't bad enough, King Sviatoslav now found himself having to deal with more rebellion among his own vassals. This time the Duke of Gwynedd, whose realm consisted of Perfeddwlad and Powys, had broken away during the war with Aleppo. The King set sail once again therefore, this time heading north for the mountain wilderness of Wales. The Duke turned out to be an irritatingly capable general and once again the King was humiliated in battle. Nevertheless he had overwhelming numbers on his side and in the end the treacherous Duke's lands were taken from him. Perfeddwlad went to Johann von Passau, a random family member who had appeared from somewhere, while the King's bastard son Sviatoslav, son of Jalila, was made Count of Powys and Duke of Gwynedd.

1207-Gwynedd.jpg

During the Welsh War the King's Marshal Pedro de Chacim was killed, and was replaced by yet another Banu Hilal, Symeon. Needless to say the Pope's Inquisitors were down on Sviatoslav like a ton of bricks before you could say "inter-faith dialogue" and Marshal Symeon, unwilling to bow to their persuasive arguments, soon found himself dead and in need of replacement. The saddest part was that the best Marshal that could be found was the 63 year-old Friedrich, who had previously served as Diocese Bishop, and who had almost no martial skills whatever.

There was good news for a change in 1206 when word came that the Duke of Polotsk had broken away from the Kingdom of Hungary. His realm included the County of Polotsk, upon which the von Passaus had a long-standing, if totally fabricated claim. The summer of 1207 therefore found King Sviatoslav at the head of an 8000 strong army trampling the feeble Polotskis into the dirt and taking the County for himself. It was all in a day's work for the most powerful monarch in the known world.

However it was just this kind of cynical heavy-handedness that some of Sviatoslav's more rebellious vassals objected to. So, as was now a regular occurrence, the defeat of one enemy created another in the form of the Count of Parma, who rebelled in September 1207 and almost immediately pledged allegiance to the King of Germany. This was a severe blow because it meant that a P province had been lost for the time being - the King was not ready to go to war with Germany at this stage. Parma therefore joined Plauen and Piemonte - three provinces that would almost certainly have to be wrested from the King of Germany in the final climactic war of the Passau Project.

More good news in October 1208. King Jaroslav of Poland had just died and for some reason had named as his heir his eldest son Bolko the Mad, Count of Poznanskie. Almost immediately his distant Arab relative Khaireddin Piast, Duke of Mazovia, broke away from the Kingdom. His realm included the County of Plock, so King Sviatoslav lost no time in grabbing a claim on this title and declaring war, before Bolko the Mad took it into his head to deal with Duke Khaireddin himself. Once more the unstoppable forces of the Kingdom of Portugal rolled in, crushing all resistance and bringing Plock into the Diocese in June 1209.

Wandering around in these easterly regions had reminded King Sviatoslav that the Count of Pinsk had also rebelled back in 1205, and had all this time remained an independent County, refusing all the King's offers to become his vassal once again. It was time to do the job the hard way. Well, not that hard of course. You know the drill by this time, assemble a good-sized regiment on the border, declare war, invade, crush all resistance, subjugate, re-annex. And this time if you can believe it no other vassals broke away during the war! There was one tragic casualty however, Marshal Ivan Pires, who had first come to the King's attention during the invasion of Plock. He was captured during the fighting and held for ransom by the evil Count of Pinsk. Scanning his court and seeing no-one even half-competent to replace him, King Sviatoslav coughed up the ransom only to receive the Marshal's mangled body back in return. Arelis of Peresechen who replaced him was probably the worst Marshal in the whole history of the Passau Project.


1210-Arelis.jpg

King Sviatoslav scrapes the bottom of his court barrel to find a Marshal​

After the Count of Pinsk had surrendered and handed over all he had, he was boiled alive in a cauldron of pig manure "to teach him a lesson", as the King put it.

So much for the progress made during this period in expanding the territory of the Alphabetical Diocese of Passau. What of the conversion of the various heretics and infidels that now found themselves within it? For some years the best minds in the Kingdom of Portugal had been ordered to concentrate on the idea of "Religious Stringency". In 1201 the clergy in Peresechen had developed this concept to an advanced level which they called "Inquisition Technology", or IT for short.

1201-Inquisition.jpg

Two years later King Sviatoslav's second son Yevstafii graduated as a Mastermind Theologian and was immediately appointed as the new Diocese Bishop. The miserable heretics of Peresechen clearly didn't stand a chance now. By December of 1203 mass-scale conversions were happening and the province was officially declared Catholic. The following year there were religious tensions in Muslim Palmyra, resulting in that province too becoming Catholic.

Bishop Yevstafii, who did not have a wife and kids to feed, was on a roll. The next place he headed for was Polotsk whose citizens were still wallowing in Orthodox error. Unfortunately however Inquisition Technology was still unknown in these barbaric northern regions, and the Bishop found that his message of enlightenment was not well-received. It started with rotten tomatoes, and went on to other less agreeable missiles. Eventually the missiles became hard, sharp and life-threatening, and Bishop Yevstafii was lucky to escape alive. As it was he would never recover from his wounds. It was at this point that he had a revelation:

1206-Yevstafii.jpg

Nevertheless, Bishop Yevstafii's bravery and perseverance were an inspiration, especially to his father King Sviatoslav, who on receiving his son back in Porto was persuaded to take up the cross himself - he was now officially a Crusader King. Yevstafii returned to Polotsk in 1208 but once again failed to convert its people to the One Truth Faith. He died of his wounds later that year. It was a tragic loss both to the von Passau family and to the Passau Project. He had overseen the conversion of two provinces, but Polotsk, Pereyaslavl Zalessky, Pronsk and Philippopolis still remained in Orthodox error, while the Muslims of Plasencia and Palermo also still had to be dealt with.

It will be recalled that King Sviatoslav had become Papal Controller back in 1197, and he remained so through this period, despite two more changes of Pope. Alas these particular Popes were an unprestigious lot, until Bishop Rudolf of Viviers was elected in 1208. From humble beginnings he had soon amassed an impressive amount of prestige, such that by the close of 1210 he was well on the way to having enough to contemplate a daring coup - the excommunication of Germany's new King, Obizzino von Franken.

1210-Excommunication.jpg

One other event is worthy of mention. In 1203 a scruffy old man in tattered robes turned up at the gates of the King's castle in Porto with an irresistible offer for King Sviatoslav:

1203-Chronicler.jpg

King Sviatoslav had never heard of the Scotsman with the barabaric name, but he assured the King that he had recently been named "WritAAR of the Week", whatever that meant. It sounded impressive though, so Sviatoslav paid what he was asking and took him on.


=================================​

Just who is this mysterious Scottish chronicler, and can he really be trusted to write a serious account of the von Passau family history? Will Pope Rudolf live long enough to excommunicate the King of Germany? Will King Sviatoslav manage to find a proper Marshal or is he condemned to carry on with his army in the hands of a complete prat? And will Duke Kálmán of Pecs somehow manage to get himself another heir before he dies and Count Konstantin von Passau of Tell Atlas takes over? All will be revealed in the next professionally-penned episode of "P is for Passau"!​
 
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Doubtless this Scotish chronicler will charge by the letter. Perhaps the German Emperor has a daughter Ordulf could marry? Perchance the Russian has a daughter to whom the Inexplicably Russian could marry another son?

A few judicous excommunications and removal of recalctriant rulers and the remaining P provinces will fall neatly into Passau's lap.
 
An excellent update!