• Crusader Kings III Available Now!

    The realm rejoices as Paradox Interactive announces the launch of Crusader Kings III, the latest entry in the publisher’s grand strategy role-playing game franchise. Advisors may now jockey for positions of influence and adversaries should save their schemes for another day, because on this day Crusader Kings III can be purchased on Steam, the Paradox Store, and other major online retailers.


    Real Strategy Requires Cunning

morningSIDEr

General
15 Badges
Mar 31, 2008
2.362
0
  • Hearts of Iron II: Armageddon
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Deus Vult
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Divine Wind
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Europa Universalis: Rome
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Victoria 2
  • Rome: Vae Victis
  • 500k Club
Having received no death threats following the world conquest in EU3 with Scotland (a feat which any sane minded person should find appalling) in my first AAR, and having thoroughly enjoyed creating the AAR, I thought I'd have a stab at a second. This time the poor nation of Oyo is my victim.

For those who intelligently did not read my first AAR; I wished to ressurect a member of the Stuarts, the royal family of Scotland throughout my first AAR (namely Ceaser Stuart, the last ruler in my original AAR), for this Oyo AAR. As such I am afraid there are clear links between both this and the older AAR, thus there are quite alot of references to Scotland throughout this AAR due to Ceaser Stuart's prescence. Put simply; Scots are alcoholic, obese and incompetent in my AAR (as I am in real life). Ceasar Stuart very much continues in this vein in this AAR.

A bit more explanation is called for before this AAR can be fully started, and readers are once again bored to tears by my drivel. This game was begun with patch 4.1b beta, and was then later updated to the February 27th patch upon my return to the save. However I have not yet installed the March 27th patch, nor indeed the new April 15th patch, as I was wary of either new version proving incompatible with this save.

Anyway since I began the game with the 4.1b beta patch, and I am now running it with the 27th February patch, there will be some differences in screenshots (off the top of my head I can think of the truce notification which was added to the banners along the top with the 27th Feb patch). I just wished to point this out before some eagle eyed reader makes a comment (I am of course being optimistic in actually presuming anyone will read this nonsense).

Alongside this I have made two minor changes to the events in the game. One due to a bug I stumbled across, which is more fully explained here. Basically the bug is that when the incapable ruler event fires, the -20 infamy coupled with the -10 infamy from playing the game on very hard, seemed to break the infamy system. As I ended up with -2 as my maximum infamy, and infamy began improving my relations with AI countries (yes, people liked my being a warmongering blaggard!). Good to have of course, but it seemed to rather spoil things.

This screenshot shows what I am trying to say.


To solve the bug I made the incapable ruler event a -15 infamy penalty as opposed to the -20 it previously was. Things seem to be working fine now.

Alongside this I made a change to the reform the government event requirements. As it was, you had to centralise and become innovative in order to westernise. Then you had to begin decentralising (or becoming narrowminded) to then reform your government. Madness. Following the debate on this thread, I instead made the reform government possible once you have reached either -2 centralisation or -2 innovative, which makes alot more sense to me.

After all this explanation, and tinkering by me, its probably the case that the new patches fix all of this...

Anyway, as has already been alluded to, this game is being played on very hard difficulty. With a pagan minor nation. Yes, this will likely prove a very short AAR (huzzah any sane minded reader cheers). This is actually my sixth attempt with Oyo, and hopefully it will prove slightly better than previous efforts. I've played a good few years into the game, as I was wanting to make sure this AAR was not a mere two update lightning annexation by the AI. Saying that, I am certainly not attempting a world conquest in this AAR, surviving for fifty years would be an accomplishment.

Oh yes, and aggressivness is set to normal. Lucky nations are historical.

WARNING: This AAR will contain a large number of screenshots so as to make up for my lack of writing ability. There will be attempts at humour made during this AAR, such attempts will be horrendous. Worst of all this AAR will, alas, feature a Stuart once more (as for the Stuarts more fulsome information can be found here, in my first AAR - yay for blatant self-promotion - put simply, I conquered the world with the Stuart family at the helm of Scotland).
 
Last edited:

morningSIDEr

General
15 Badges
Mar 31, 2008
2.362
0
  • Hearts of Iron II: Armageddon
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Deus Vult
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Divine Wind
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Europa Universalis: Rome
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Victoria 2
  • Rome: Vae Victis
  • 500k Club
A Beninese fisherman stands on the beach with a puzzled look on his face; prodding gingerly at the carcass lying before him with a stick. It is large, fetid and stinking - the sort of horrible tangle of flesh, bone, fat and hair the puts one in mind of a dead boar left to rot in the sun for weeks on end. However, it slowly dawns on the man that this pungent heap is not a dead animal, nor has it been lying here for particularly long. As the truth of his discovery dawns on him he puts his hands to his mouth in mounting horror, for what he has found here is no decaying mound of moldering flesh, nor is it the remains of some giant, foul hog... He has found something far more terrible. He has found a Scot.

Thankfully the mass is quickly taken from him. Some guardsmen from the neighbouring country of Oyo truss up the Scot and bring him back to their homeland.

Thus the King of Scotland, Ruler of the World, Coward Extraordinaire, First Class Embezzler, Moron Without Peer...
Caesar Stuart (hereafter CS) finds himself waking in Oyo. He is in a bed. His surroundings are not familiar. Memories begin to filter back...he'd...he'd died recently! What is going on?!

_________________

CS had suffered from severe gout. He'd led a rich and full life. Rather too full for most people, his stomach was never given any rest. He'd quaffed his fair share of alcohol. Ruled Scotland, which encompassed the world, with genial incompetence and corruptness. Basically CS had lived the life of a Scot; an obese workshy coward.

CS passed away at the ripe old age of 30 (a very old age for the horribly unhealthy Scots). His ancestors had conquered the globe. CS added a few provinces to their conquests within his lifetime, finishing their work and thus dooming the world to Scottish rule.


He was now bring brought to judgement in the afterlife...

'Hmm? Where the Devil am I?!'

[Its funny you should mention 'Devil' sir. Infact you have finally come before your judgement. The crimes of both yourself and your family are truly shocking, even for someone as experienced in this line of work as ourselves.]

'Shocking? But my family has brought a time of unprecedented peace to the world! The world is united under but one banner.'

[Yes sir, but this 'unprecendented peace' was only arrived at due to the near-constant warfare your family subjected the world to over two centuries.]

'Granted, granted...but look at the end result!'

[Yes sir, the world is now controlled by Scotland. Scotland sir, a nation of drunks, imbeciles and cowards. The world has been ruined. It cannot hope to recover. Scotland's incompetence has assured that the world will remain ever filled with backwards, gibbering people. Frankly we didn't step in as we truly thought there was little chance of the horribly incompetent Scotland conquering the world.]

'But...but...there is no more fighting now! We even began to advance technologically.'

[Yes sir, but at a pathetic rate. Sir, you and your country lined your own pockets, and let the rest of the world suffer. And still the world suffers from your rash actions. And you, yourself sir, you ended up siphoning off 16,962 ducats to fund your Mars bar addiction. This further plunged your empire into turmoil.]



'Well yes...but I was King! Supreme ruler! Anyway there is such alot of money being made these days...'

[All of it by the small remaining non-Scottish population of the world. And all of it instantly wasted on alcohol. Frankly sir, this just will not do. Things cannot be left as they are. Despite our own personal misgivings about this, we've been ordered by management to give you a second chance. Right that which has been wronged. Prevent Scotland from global conquest. Prove to be a half-way competent ruler. Save the world, save yourself.]

'What? Second chance? So I...uh...I get to ressurect? Not as a zombie I hope? People complained of my smell as it is. Oh and if I am being brought back I'd like some special powers. The ability to turn anything I touch into alcohol for-.'

[No special powers.

No sir, you will be returned at the peak of your powers, but this time immortal whilst you carry out this task. You will be sent to guide a fledgling country, guide it to greatness or suffer the ignominy of being the ruler who oversaw the final nail in the world's coffin being hammered in.]


'Well yes, last nail...but I didn't do most of the damage!'

[It matters not sir, you need right your ancestors wrongs.]



'Okay, okay...so I take it I am being sent back to guide someone such as...oh...England? France? Castille? No wait, Scotland's nemesis surely - The Hansa!'

[No sir, you must work for your repentance. If you were simply sent back to guide a colossus such as The Hansa, this would be too easy a task considering the horrible wrongs perpetrated by your family. Sir, you need guide the nation of...Oyo.]

'What? Yoyo? But I can barely use one of those.'

[Very droll sir. We did say quite clearly that the country you shall guide is Oyo.]

'Never heard of it.'

[We are not surprised...your ancestor, King James III, conquered the nation of Benin back in the 16th century. Benin had earlier conquered Oyo.]



'ah, one of those piddly little nations then.'

[Quite, sir, quite. A 'piddly little nation' which you now need guide to survival.]

'Oh come on, this is nigh on impossible! You know how incompetent my family is! Thankfully I have obviously turned out differently, but even I know the limit of my talents. Can't I just control England and roll Scotland over within a few weeks?'

[No sir, you cannot. Frankly it is clear that you should be hugely grateful for this second chance in the first place, considering the sins committed by your family. Furthermore we hold great reservations in granting you control of a great nation such as England. Look at what trouble your family caused with a backwater craphole such as Scotland. Plus your repentance must be carried out with a nation which Scotland did not previously defile. Considering the world conquest you achieved, there is not an abundance of such nations.

Anyway sir, your huge self-confidence will see you gain victory. You appear to already be able to achieve miracles - you have seen talent in yourself, which is more than others can say.]




'Look wait, what if I don't bother with this whole repentance nonsense? The afterlife cannot be as bad as taking control of a small nation and actually having to...work.' *shudder*

[Well sir, I would not advise that. You and your family have made a great deal of enemies in the afterlife. For example-]

"There is the scumbag! Damn you! I'll Glasgow kiss you..."

'What? Get back! Who are you?'

"Robert the Bruce. I had a fine time of it in the afterlife...until you and your family ruined it, wait until I get my hands on you!"

'What? But what did we do?!'

"Where I come from, I'm lauded as a great King who fought to gain Scotland's independance. Now when I tell people of my feats, they simply attack me for having fought for the now detested Scotland. They've heard of you Stuarts...you've ruined my reputation, and made a mockery of my deeds. I'll have you!"

'Uhm...I'll accept reincarnation. Soon please.'

[We knew you would see sense sir. Now if you do not mind, we have alot of other work to be getting on with. Be on your way.]

(I am hugely indebted to the excellent Tales from our Faarthers by loki100 for this section. Its a simply brilliant read, I hugely reccommend it, my poor effort here does it a disservice. Thus quickly click the link and escape to his far superior work in order to see how this style should be correctly executed!)

_________________

Right, so CS need guide this nation to glory. Well he could hardly do so whilst restrained in this bed. Attracting the attention of some nearby guards he was brought before the ruler of Oyo, the Tribal High Elder Oranyan. Despite barely being comprehensible in English, CS is shocked to find he can understand the local tongue. Evidently the ability had been imparted to him before his return to Earth. Unfortunately greater intelligence (or even just some intelligence) had not also been imparted.

Oranyan proves surprisingly accepting of CS. He grants CS the position of adviser, simply stating that he had been already informed of CS's coming. Well that was simple enough, already the job of adviser has been secured. Now onwards to glory!

Or...uhm...more probably quick and bloody defeat. Onwards regardless!

(alongside my sincere thanks to loki100, many thanks also to Iain Wilson for his great aid in the creation of this post)
 
Last edited:

JDMS

Hypothetical Hegemon
54 Badges
Dec 12, 2009
2.083
0
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Iron Cross
  • Legio
  • Majesty 2
  • Europa Universalis: Rome
  • Rome Gold
  • Semper Fi
  • Sengoku
  • Sword of the Stars
  • Supreme Ruler 2020
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Imperator: Rome
  • Europa Universalis IV: Rights of Man
  • Victoria 2
  • 200k Club
  • Europa Universalis IV: El Dorado
  • Rise of Prussia
  • Mount & Blade: With Fire and Sword
  • Crusader Kings II: Way of Life
  • Europa Universalis IV: Common Sense
  • Europa Universalis IV: Cossacks
  • Crusader Kings II: Conclave
  • Stellaris
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Cadet
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis IV: Rule Britannia
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Fury
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Victoria 2: Heart of Darkness
  • 500k Club
  • Mount & Blade: Warband
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • For the Motherland
  • For The Glory
  • Arsenal of Democracy
  • Hearts of Iron II: Armageddon
  • Crusader Kings II
  • East India Company Collection
  • Darkest Hour
  • Deus Vult
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Divine Wind
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
  • Europa Universalis IV: Art of War
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
Interesting concept. I'm following. :)
 

theconfusedone

Captain
54 Badges
Dec 7, 2009
377
0
  • Arsenal of Democracy
  • Victoria 2: Heart of Darkness
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
  • Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
  • Divine Wind
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: Charlemagne
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Imperator: Rome
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Together for Victory
  • Stellaris - Path to Destruction bundle
  • Cities: Skylines - Mass Transit
  • Europa Universalis IV: Mandate of Heaven
  • Europa Universalis IV: Third Rome
  • Cities: Skylines - Natural Disasters
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Death or Dishonor
  • Cities: Skylines - Green Cities
  • Europa Universalis IV: Cradle of Civilization
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Expansion Pass
  • Europa Universalis IV: Rule Britannia
  • Cities: Skylines - Parklife Pre-Order
  • Cities: Skylines - Parklife
  • Europa Universalis IV: Dharma
  • Cities: Skylines Industries
  • Europa Universalis IV: Golden Century
  • Europa Universalis IV: El Dorado
  • Europa Universalis IV: Art of War
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis IV: Res Publica
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Victoria 2
  • 500k Club
  • Imperator: Rome - Magna Graecia
  • Europa Universalis IV: Rights of Man
  • Crusader Kings II: Way of Life
  • Europa Universalis IV: Common Sense
  • Cities: Skylines - After Dark
  • Europa Universalis IV: Cossacks
  • Cities: Skylines - Snowfall
  • Europa Universalis IV: Mare Nostrum
  • Stellaris
Finally an Oyo AAR!
I love pagan AARs :)
Too bad mine had it's memory accidentally bogged
Oh well

WC with them okaay :)
 

History_Buff

Lt. General
57 Badges
Jan 1, 2010
1.240
16
  • Hearts of Iron II: Armageddon
  • Europa Universalis IV: Mare Nostrum
  • Stellaris: Synthetic Dawn
  • Europa Universalis IV: Third Rome
  • Stellaris - Path to Destruction bundle
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
  • Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
  • Europa Universalis IV: Art of War
  • Divine Wind
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: Charlemagne
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Europa Universalis IV: Golden Century
  • Europa Universalis IV: Mandate of Heaven
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Death or Dishonor
  • Crusader Kings II: Monks and Mystics
  • Europa Universalis IV: Cradle of Civilization
  • Crusader Kings III
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Expansion Pass
  • Stellaris: Humanoids Species Pack
  • Stellaris: Apocalypse
  • Europa Universalis IV: Rule Britannia
  • Stellaris: Distant Stars
  • Europa Universalis IV: Dharma
  • Imperator: Rome Deluxe Edition
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Fury
  • Crusader Kings II: Horse Lords
  • Stellaris: Lithoids
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Victoria 2
  • 500k Club
  • Europa Universalis IV: El Dorado
  • Crusader Kings II: Way of Life
  • Europa Universalis IV: Common Sense
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Together for Victory
  • Europa Universalis IV: Cossacks
  • Crusader Kings II: Conclave
  • Stellaris
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Cadet
  • Crusader Kings II: Reapers Due
  • Europa Universalis IV: Rights of Man
  • Stellaris: Digital Anniversary Edition
If this is aar is anything like your last one, I am sure that it will be great. Wonder why you picked Oyo. One of the Irish countries seems at first glance to be more in line with the usual theme. I agree that Pagan AARs are the best. Not to mention you are African, which has to be the crappiest tech group in the entire game.I considered playing as Mali once but saw that it was going to take me until the 1700's to research up one level, which seemed like too much trouble. However, depending how this turns out, I might just try an African game.
 
Last edited:

FelixMajor

Colonel
98 Badges
Mar 28, 2010
906
22
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Expansion Pass
  • Europa Universalis IV: Res Publica
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Semper Fi
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Victoria 2: Heart of Darkness
  • Crusader Kings II: Monks and Mystics
  • Cities: Skylines Deluxe Edition
  • Europa Universalis IV: Pre-order
  • Surviving Mars
  • Ancient Space
  • Europa Universalis IV: Third Rome
  • Cities: Skylines - After Dark
  • Europa Universalis IV: Cossacks
  • Cities: Skylines - Snowfall
  • Europa Universalis IV: Mare Nostrum
  • Stellaris
  • Stellaris - Path to Destruction bundle
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Field Marshal
  • Darkest Hour
  • Crusader Kings II: Charlemagne
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Rajas of India
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II: Sunset Invasion
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis IV: Art of War
  • Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
  • Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Crusader Kings II: Jade Dragon
  • March of the Eagles
  • Crusader Kings II: Reapers Due
  • Tyranny: Archon Edition
  • Europa Universalis IV: Rights of Man
  • Tyranny: Archon Edition
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Cadet
  • Stellaris Sign-up
  • Crusader Kings II: Conclave
  • Crusader Kings II: Horse Lords
  • Crusader Kings III
  • Europa Universalis IV: El Dorado
  • 500k Club
  • Victoria 2
Unique introduction ... I think I'm hooked.
 

Mico94

Lt. General
17 Badges
Feb 25, 2008
1.489
0
  • Darkest Hour
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Europa Universalis III: Chronicles
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Divine Wind
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Magicka
  • Stellaris: Galaxy Edition
  • Stellaris: Galaxy Edition
  • Stellaris
  • Magicka: Wizard Wars Founder Wizard
  • 500k Club
  • Victoria 2
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
so you are just conquering the world with another craphole country while making annoying but funny attempts at humor?

You just got yourself another reader! :D
 

sprites

Field Marshal
64 Badges
May 1, 2008
6.545
59
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • For the Motherland
  • Hearts of Iron III: Their Finest Hour
  • Darkest Hour
  • For The Glory
  • March of the Eagles
  • Warlock: Master of the Arcane
  • Victoria 2
  • 200k Club
  • Europa Universalis IV: El Dorado
  • Europa Universalis IV: Golden Century
  • Magicka 2
  • Europa Universalis IV: Common Sense
  • Cities: Skylines - Parklife Pre-Order
  • Europa Universalis IV: Mare Nostrum
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Cadet
  • Europa Universalis IV: Rights of Man
  • Cities: Skylines - Natural Disasters
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Together for Victory
  • Cities: Skylines - Mass Transit
  • Europa Universalis IV: Mandate of Heaven
  • Shadowrun Returns
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Death or Dishonor
  • Cities: Skylines - Green Cities
  • Europa Universalis IV: Dharma
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Expansion Pass
  • Europa Universalis IV: Rule Britannia
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Expansion Pass
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Cities: Skylines - Parklife
  • Magicka
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Cities: Skylines - Campus
  • Semper Fi
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Victoria 2: Heart of Darkness
  • 500k Club
  • Cities: Skylines
  • Cities: Skylines - After Dark
  • Cities: Skylines - Snowfall
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Arsenal of Democracy
  • Cities in Motion 2
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Divine Wind
  • Europa Universalis IV: Art of War
  • Europa Universalis IV: Call to arms event
let's hope he'll be revived earlier than 1637 :D
 

loki100

Field Marshal
22 Badges
Jul 1, 2008
7.559
5
  • Rome Gold
  • Mount & Blade: Warband
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Sword of the Stars
  • Semper Fi
  • Hearts of Iron II: Armageddon
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • For the Motherland
  • Divine Wind
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Deus Vult
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Victoria 2
  • Warlock: Master of the Arcane
  • 500k Club
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Knight (pre-order)
  • Pride of Nations
  • Rise of Prussia
so glad this has finally seen the light of day, worth it for gems such as:

you ended up siphoning off 16,962 ducats to fund your Mars bar addiction
but to repeat the question posed above, where on earth is Oyu?

ah pity the poor Bruce, shifted in popular legend from brave spider-basher to foul tyrant who started the process of dousing the globe a disturbing yellowly orange colour
 

lordkestrel

Lt. General
82 Badges
Sep 1, 2009
1.571
8
  • Stellaris: Humanoids Species Pack
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Fury
  • BATTLETECH - Digital Deluxe Edition
  • Crusader Kings II: Horse Lords
  • Europa Universalis IV: Common Sense
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Magicka 2
  • Crusader Kings II: Way of Life
  • Magicka: Wizard Wars Founder Wizard
  • Stellaris: Lithoids
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • BATTLETECH
  • Stellaris - Path to Destruction bundle
  • Crusader Kings II: Monks and Mystics
  • Stellaris: Leviathans Story Pack
  • Victoria 2
  • Victoria 2: Heart of Darkness
  • 500k Club
  • Europa Universalis III: Collection
  • Stellaris: Galaxy Edition
  • Stellaris: Digital Anniversary Edition
  • Imperator: Rome Sign Up
  • Stellaris: Distant Stars
  • Tyranny: Archon Edition
  • Stellaris Sign-up
  • Stellaris: Apocalypse
  • BATTLETECH: Heavy Metal
  • Stellaris: Ancient Relics
  • Crusader Kings II: Jade Dragon
  • Stellaris: Galaxy Edition
  • Stellaris
  • Crusader Kings II: Conclave
  • Stellaris: Megacorp
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Fury Pre-order
  • Surviving Mars
  • Prison Architect
  • Crusader Kings III
  • King Arthur II
  • Majesty 2
  • Magicka
  • Leviathan: Warships
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Hearts of Iron III: Their Finest Hour
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Deus Vult
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Crusader Kings II: Sunset Invasion
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: Charlemagne
Oh my. If your Scottish WC hadn't convinced me you were mad, this would.

I of course will be following along, the shenanigans must be watched.
 

Desertfox

Major
27 Badges
Sep 3, 2001
787
78
Visit site
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Stellaris: Apocalypse
  • Age of Wonders II
  • Stellaris - Path to Destruction bundle
  • Europa Universalis IV: Rights of Man
  • Stellaris
  • Europa Universalis IV: Mare Nostrum
  • Europa Universalis IV: Cossacks
  • Europa Universalis IV: Common Sense
  • Europa Universalis IV: Pre-order
  • Europa Universalis IV: El Dorado
  • Europa Universalis III: Collection
  • 500k Club
  • Victoria 2: Heart of Darkness
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Victoria 2
  • Sword of the Stars
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Europa Universalis IV: Res Publica
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
  • Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
  • Europa Universalis IV: Art of War
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis III
Good thing you don't play with the latest patch (april 2010). In the latest patch, you get stabhits and extra warexhaustion events if you are too far past the infamy limit. And if your infamy limit is close to zero (let alone if it is negative) the events should fire easily and the rebels will slowly kill you.
 

blsteen

Field Marshal
27 Badges
Aug 28, 2007
2.640
1
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Divine Wind
  • For The Glory
  • Hearts of Iron III Collection
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis IV: Golden Century
  • Europa Universalis IV: Dharma
  • Europa Universalis IV: Rule Britannia
  • Europa Universalis IV: Mandate of Heaven
  • Europa Universalis IV: Rights of Man
  • Stellaris
  • Europa Universalis IV: Mare Nostrum
  • Europa Universalis IV: Cossacks
  • Europa Universalis IV: Common Sense
  • Crusader Kings II: Way of Life
  • Europa Universalis IV: El Dorado
  • 500k Club
  • Europa Universalis IV: Res Publica
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Europa Universalis IV: Art of War
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
Having received no death threats following the world conquest in EU3 with Scotland (a feat which any sane minded person should find appalling) in my first AAR, and having thoroughly enjoyed creating the AAR, I thought I'd have a stab at a second. This time the poor nation of Oyo is my victim.
Oh it was appaling and thoroughly enjoyable, like watching man get hit in the groin by a football as long as you aren't the man getting hit.
So good luck to ya...but not too much luck:D
 

JDMS

Hypothetical Hegemon
54 Badges
Dec 12, 2009
2.083
0
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Iron Cross
  • Legio
  • Majesty 2
  • Europa Universalis: Rome
  • Rome Gold
  • Semper Fi
  • Sengoku
  • Sword of the Stars
  • Supreme Ruler 2020
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Imperator: Rome
  • Europa Universalis IV: Rights of Man
  • Victoria 2
  • 200k Club
  • Europa Universalis IV: El Dorado
  • Rise of Prussia
  • Mount & Blade: With Fire and Sword
  • Crusader Kings II: Way of Life
  • Europa Universalis IV: Common Sense
  • Europa Universalis IV: Cossacks
  • Crusader Kings II: Conclave
  • Stellaris
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Cadet
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis IV: Rule Britannia
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Fury
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Victoria 2: Heart of Darkness
  • 500k Club
  • Mount & Blade: Warband
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • For the Motherland
  • For The Glory
  • Arsenal of Democracy
  • Hearts of Iron II: Armageddon
  • Crusader Kings II
  • East India Company Collection
  • Darkest Hour
  • Deus Vult
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Divine Wind
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
  • Europa Universalis IV: Art of War
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic

morningSIDEr

General
15 Badges
Mar 31, 2008
2.362
0
  • Hearts of Iron II: Armageddon
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Deus Vult
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Divine Wind
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Europa Universalis: Rome
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Victoria 2
  • Rome: Vae Victis
  • 500k Club
Thank you hugely for the replies! Very much appreciated, and I am surprised to have received so many. Don't worry, I'll be sure to have turned everyone against me before the end of this AAR!

Morrell8 - As JDMS has kindly pointed out, its part of modern day Nigeria. I have to confess, I know little about the nation of Oyo either, all of my information being gleaned from the Wikipedia entry (not exactly the most reliable of sources...), its an interesting read however!

Qorten - Thank you kindly (bribe in the post, of course!). I don't even remember chaining you up and forcing you to read Glasgow Kiss either (its about the only way I got readers)!

midget_roxx - Yes, I apologise, my introductory post is very lacking and thus things are confusing. I shall edit it to better explain things. Put baldly however; my first AAR saw me conquer the world with Scotland (sorry about that, I still regret it...), all the while the ruling family in Scotland was the Stuarts. Starting this new AAR with Oyo I rather wanted to keep the horribly incompetent Stuarts part of the action somehow, hence the reincarnation being my way of doing so (plus I desperately wanted to rip-off loki100's great style!).

JDMS - Thank you kindly (a bribe is en route!).

theconfusedone - Thank you hugely for the kind words (a bribe is on way, of course). Yes, it was a true pity that your Mutapa AAR was cut short, I hope you return to the AAR scene at some point. As for WC...well, I rather doubt it!

History_Buff - Thank you for the kind words (yet another bribe is, of course, in the post!).

An Irish AAR would have been great fun, but probably a bit too similar to Glasgow Kiss (i.e. being horribly scared of England at the start, then I'd likely follow the same route after somehow besting them). Thus I wanted a bit of a change. Plus playing as considerably more advanced nation than Scotland in this AAR should shake things up a bit. Technology is an issue...unless you westernise! All my hopes are pinned to being able to do just that.

FelixMajor - Thank you kindly (bribe in the post, but of course). If you rather like the intro, I once again point you towards loki100's excellent Tales from our Faarthers; its his AAR style which I shamelessly ripped off!

Lordban - Indeed and indeed!

Mico94 - Exactly so! Wait...annoying but funny? tch, I thought they were just annoying (note to self; make joke even worse...hmm seems near impossible!).

sprites - He most certainly is! Starting at 1637 and thus taking on a Scotland encompassing all of the world with a mere two province minor is likely a challange only naggy or Prawnstar could manage, certainly not me!

loki100 - Thank you for the kind words (yet another bribe in the post, of course!). I agree, I deserve to be locked up for so defaming the great Bruce!

lordkestrel - Thank you kindly (bribe is of course en route to you!). Do not worry. By the end of this AAR everyone shall be mad...mad at me for having type such drivel!

Desertfox - That sounds very nasty. I had not actually checked over the patch notes in any great depth. It matters not anyway, I am likely to be killed off quickly nonetheless!

blsteen - Thank you hugely for the kind words (bribe in the post of course!). The perfect description. Furthermore an apt description of Scottish football generally!

aldriq - Thank you kindly (bribe in the post but of course). I'm afraid to say I am too thick to have understood the comment regarding the oil. Could you please explain it to my numpty self?
 
Last edited:

morningSIDEr

General
15 Badges
Mar 31, 2008
2.362
0
  • Hearts of Iron II: Armageddon
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Deus Vult
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Divine Wind
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Europa Universalis: Rome
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Victoria 2
  • Rome: Vae Victis
  • 500k Club
Behold the lands of Oyo!



And...uhm...little else. Terra incognita abounds.

Oyo is clearly a nation of warriors. It currently has an army of 1,000 and is able to support no more.



Having been appointed an Adviser to the High Elder, CS does what any remotely sane man can do after having checked over Oyo's starting position...he quickly finds a priest.



Yes, make prayer a fundamental part of Oyo society. For only an answered prayer will deliver this nation to glory when being guided by an inept Scotsman.

CS is not an utter fool (just much of one). He knows Oyo has only one true hope of success...the country must westernise! CS needs Mars bars and pubs aplenty from westernisation. Centralisation is thus embarked upon.



Lovely. As if starting as a small, weak nation such as Oyo was not bad enough, a stability hit is instantly felt.

As can be seen, the sliders are rather awful. It is going to be a number of years before westernisation can be fully begun.

Oyo quickly completes her first mission by...uhm...doing nothing (thereby showing that CS is already having an impact and showing the Oyo people the Scottish work spirit; do no actual work). Protecting against Benin proves an easily accomplishable goal, as Hausa swallow Benin.



Thus Oyo is a small, landlocked country with a horribly aggressive larger neighbour now bordering her. Fantastic.

Due to this new mission, Oyo has a conquest cassus beli against Hausa, to capture the province of Benin. Clearly only a madman would pit 1,000 troops against the 4,000 the Hausa can muster. Thankfully CS is a madman. Oh wait, thats not a good thing. However...



Hausa's main force is being hammered by a native uprising, leaving them weak. Some mercenaries are quickly recruited and then...



CS knows that this coming war is vital to Oyo's future success. As such he feels the need to rally his new countrymen. He addresses the Oyo army...

'Look chaps, I know a bit about this war business, I was wondering if you wanted a few pointers? I could train you up to the level of Scotland's crack regiments.'

"Aye, we've been told you are Scottish."

'Yes, and?'

"Scotland are infamous as a nation of cowardly imbeciles, who are so incompetent in battle that they cause more wounds to their own side than the enemy. Scottish victories are usually brought about due to the enemy eventually feeling embarrassed for the Scots, and giving up."

'Granted...granted...but look, I can help you chaps out. We do know a thing or two about underhanded warfare in Scotland. You see, we had great success with this technique called the Glasgow kiss, whereby you-'

"Kiss? You Scotsmen wear skirts, and you went about kissing your enemies? Yes, I can see how that would be effective."

'What? No, no. We did not actually kiss them. You see, Glasgow kiss means to nut someone.'

"Okay...so let me get this straight. You skirt wearing pansies defeated your enemies by kissing their nuts?"

'Yes, yes thats ri-what?! No!'

"I think we'll just employ our usual strategies, thanks all the same. But don't you worry, once we tell the rest of the lads about your wish to kiss those who fail you, you can bet they'll fight like never before."

Battle is met.



Spurred on by the threat of a kiss from CS, and further reinforced by a contingent of mercenaries, the first Oyo battle ends in victory.

This one battle serves to defeat all of Hausa's force. With no fortification in their provinces, the Oyo army is able to easily rampage through the open Hausa territory. The Oyo army is moving faster than usual, so as to keep as far away from CS as possible.

Having occupied the Hausa provinces closest to Oyo, the remaining Hausa land must be reached via a trek through lands inhabited by natives. After the recent victories against the Hausa's forces, such natives are obviously destined to fall victim to Oyo's army. Clearly only useless cowards such as the Hausa lose to a native uprising.



*cough* Well thats one way of disposing of mercenaries after their use runs out...

Being unable to reach the rest of Hausa's land, peace is thrashed out.



Oyo's has gained her first victory and expanded her borders. She is safe for the moment. Oh wait, CS was just appointed Adviser. She is clearly doomed.