• We have updated our Community Code of Conduct. Please read through the new rules for the forum that are an integral part of Paradox Interactive’s User Agreement.

unmerged(69928)

Weapon of Mass Obstruction
Feb 25, 2007
2.938
0
A wise old owl says "Death to France"! Long live the Pink Sleeves! Now to mop up the French and their allies. Did Normandy not join in the war with their former overlord? Nice to see that the Empire continues to expand its Arabian holdings in preparation of the domination of...the SPICE!

We were called in as protector, and as such our allies cannot join... Unless they wanted too. If I were Normandy, I would have waited for the heavy lifting to get done and DoW'd, but as my vassal they have no way to get in once it starts. The Spice Trade is coming. I'm getting psyched for it...

Our France here looks sadly like another France I know of..... :( *sniff sniff* :(

Yeah it is. Spayed and Neutered in all it's former glory. They did nerf her quite a bit. I will miss the threat of the BBB constantly hanging over my shoulder. That first encounter with her was always a highlight of any game.

Our France here looks amusingly like another France I know of. :)

Does Yoshi know you're in his room looking over his shoulder at what he's typing...? The best part is that this France gets smaller...

Milanese Empire should capture silk producing provinces in order to stop "Poor Uniforms".

Hey, that's slick... What goes better with Pink sleeves than silk...? I actually like this idea. I've been looking for a tie in. That and we can corner the lingerie market while we're at it...

Although this would make a good untouchable good too to simulate a rival monopoly... Hmmm....

Or just start executing the purveyors of the lavender and the fetishists that somehow made them and figured that the mighty milanese empire and its supremely focused military industrial complex would just let this pass with a wink, a smile and reference to "don't ask, don't tell". No someone did not pay enough "contributions" to let this get by.

A man after my own heart... Once I find the province those unis were made in, it's going down. I heard it was in China somewhere... ;)

The French can still put together an impresive doomstack. I won't be satisfied until this size of army is impossible for the French to field. I demand more humbling!

Well... They could. Sorta. And more humbling you shall have. In fact, before I'm done you shall have a double portion of humbling... Who says I don't listen to my readers...!

Where do the French keep getting always fresh meat for the army? :p

Avon Meat Market... Or Soldiers-R-Us. Haven't gotten a straight answer. It's just proof of the ridiculously high money and manpower France enjoys. That they are almost totally occupied and still have cash for 100d+ spy missions is another...

they breed like frogs :)

Le Ouch...!

By now the blueheads must have eliminated all things coloured pink in their country (except for the Milanese troops, of course ;) ) - it's probably something of a national fear.

"Go inside children, I saw a flutter of pink on the horizon!"
"If you don't eat your vegetables the Milanese will come and pinkify you!"

:rofl: You know given the state of things at that time if this alternate history had happened, this would actually be truth. Pink would certainly have a much different connotation than it does now. Can you picture the hospital clothes for newborns where Pink is for Boys and Blue is for Girls...? All the pink play swords and vehicles with Barbi in blue...? :rofl: And we think we're screwed up now...

If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding!
(How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?)

I can just imagine a French Halloween: instead of ghouls, goblins, and witches, and moth-eaten werewolves with fangs (I've listened to Dr. Demento too often), children wear pink sleeves (and get all the candy they want because the adults who answer the door surrender to them).

And what "other France"?

Mr. Owl, how many lickings does it take to get to the center of a Frenchie pop? Love your Tootsie Pop reference. And all candy. Rots your teeth, but do you care?

One of these days I'm going to cut you up into little pieces...

Nothing like some classic Floyd to go in the way back machine with. I had that album in vinyl. Wasn't as good as Dark Side of the Moon. I had an original pressing of the vinyl of Meddle too from 1971... Better than both of them. Used to have, um, "excursions" to it regularly. The B side of the album was massive... Man I suddenly feel old. I can't even remember the name of the song. Of course given my activities, it's a miracle I can remember anything of that time at all. I know I was in an apartment then. I can't tell you what color the walls or the carpet were though... That's just so... Sad. :p

On Halloween I can see all the ghosts being in pink sheets instead of white. All the Pirates with pink and purple instead of black. The purple eye patch would be too much me thinks. :D

The other France is that of HT³...

And I'm so glad someone got the tootsie pop reference. After everyone whiffed on the Tommy Boy Guarantee in a Box I was getting a bit worried that you guys were slipping... :D

I know I've been playing the WW game, but I haven't forgotten about you guys. The new meds keep me up at night, so it's update time...!

T
 

unmerged(69928)

Weapon of Mass Obstruction
Feb 25, 2007
2.938
0
Chapter 50: Warring France for Fun and Profit...​

If you recall, our last action in the previous edition was the removal of the jolly blue giant's big bad army. It's once mighty 38,000 men not only reduced to a mere 5600, but done so in the French Capitol, led by their King for all the world to see.

The next humiliation for the BB comes as they lose control of their most recent vassal to The Empire's forces:

PR_1132.jpg


As I said, I won't take her in the peace deal, as France will most likely turn her gray eyes blue for me.

Also in the pic are the new recruits, being pulled into assembly points for assignments in the southern half of French territory. At this point I haven't really gone into enemy lands, but that's about to change. I am calling 4K INF siege units from as far away as the territories of Oman to come in and help.

We still have a few provinces left in our grand REFormation, and Constantine lowers the number by one more as she converts on the 19th of May.

Another province is claimed as Koblenz falls to the Pink Sleeves on the 22nd, while the 29th sees Mahra convert to the faith.

The French attempt a diversion, riding 1000 CAV into Languedoc. Perhaps they didn't see the army being amassed in Provence next door...?

Mecklenburg converts in early June, leaving Potsdam the lone hold out in the north.

The 2nd fleet finally makes it's way around from the interior seas and sails up the coast of France to take blockading stations on the Northwest tip. She'll also be called in for duty when the French are forced to put to sea...

While this is happening, Adal again refuses a white peace.

Idiots.

I got feeling sorry for them and went out and got them a little something to help them out...:

PR_1133.jpg


Hope that helps.

Trust me. Read it. It'll help.

Back in the world that matters, the French mega stack finally meets it's end...:

PR_1134.jpg


We again board southwest, as we are "free to roam about the country..."

One of the minor combatants is neutralized for good by the end of June...:

PR_1135.jpg


End of Mission translation...: "France has had all of her troops wiped out. Now you're safe."

With Mainz done, I can move into striping French provinces full time.

Before the end of June, the ruse in Languedoc is removed as I get set to flood the south. I have 12K CAV plus the force I'm assembling in Province. I finally feel I have enough men... Which is great now that I'm basically done fighting...

For a time the only action is the pop ups under the sieges. I then finally spy the other army that had been hiding out in the dark. It's not nearly as bad as it could be as a 4/7/0 strolls into Orleans to attempt a run on the capitol to break my siege there.

A revolt pops in Suhar as Cape announces it's full "city"zenship in the Empire. The normal fort/workshop/temple etc begins there following the announcement. Socotra gets all bent and revolts too, but I have men on the island. Islands are running me a cool 30K in soldiers to keep them occupied. I could get rid of them all, but I'd rather not have to go and do anything when the revolt pops. Now I can just read about it...

Our first liberation of blue provinces is reported...:

PR_1136.jpg


So begins the climb... This is where I wish an ally would get that CB like they do in HT³. I could really use Normandy as a diversion right now.

More good news follows three days later when word arrives that Othe has been stripped of it's stripes...

The people of Leipzig are unhappy with all the purple striping they see and revolt. It's hardly an issue with a mere 1/3/0. Might as well have stayed home with that. Heck, in The Empire that's not even a decent parade.

I continue to ride the countryside eliminating any attempts by France to reassemble any sort of major force. I hit them after they join two or three thousand men together. I can imagine the frustration as King Henri VII loses another 3K starter set... It's enough to make me smile. Alot...

Over in the Indian Ocean, I find out about Boina, the other half of the Island that hides the PTI from the coast of Africa. It's another I can do without, especially with 9000 natives with 9.0 aggression. But I send the 6K CAV in to start clearing them out, as I have to settle it. I'd like to save as many as I can, as the population boost on being city-fied would be nice.

Leipzig's rebels disappear, as does a pop up in Bearn.

Next up is the news the last minor player is now defunct...:

PR_1137.jpg


After this I check the score card...
It shows I'm allied with Austria here...
Silly me. I had an ally...?
It also shows there's very little standing between me and whatever France doesn't want to part with...
A mere 1000 troops and a few ships.

I start to peace out the minor players, starting with Mainz...:

PR_1138.jpg


Mainz was vassalized because of it's elector status. I have no desire to be the HRE, but if I can deprive a country of an elector at an opportune time and skew an election... Hey, you never know when that might come in handy.

Next up is Cologne. The deal doesn't smell as nice, but it is a decent grab none the less...:

PR_1139.jpg


I'll leave Lorraine out of the picture as she's a vassal of France. I can't do anything anyways. And like I've said, she'll disappear sooner rather than later to the voracious province appetite of the BBB. If she survives till the end of the session I'll be surprised.

With the minors gone, it's just a matter of siege and besiege. The only action is pop ups and minor fringe skirmishes. France still wants to try, but it's far too late for her to mount a successful resistance now.

Manabe is almost to city status. Another colonist or two and she'll be set. The next province to get striped is Rouergue, falling in late November.

December is a smorgasbord of buildings, province decisions and abandoning the empire in our new found provinces. This is followed by the striping of Barrois on Christmas Day.

The New Year brings a couple Temples done, but little else. It's not until February we get any real news when the French Capitol falls on the 8th... Followed the next day by Vermandois.

Cherson completes it's REFormation program in early March, and we finally get that white peace request from Adal. I'm almost tempted to say no, but I let them go their own way.

A couple crap advisors and some buildings, A few rebellions with armies bigger than anything the French can muster and another colonist to Menabe is the size of it before the next decent news...:

PR_1140.jpg


Soon the past lands of Brittany will be all that's left for the French to hide in.

Another new(er) province converts as Socotra joins it's REFormed brothers and sisters of The Empire.

Another hint the game really, really wants me to play in Europe...:

PR_1141.jpg


Alas, 'tis a Salt province. Can't turn that down, now can we...?
What would the spice traders say...?

Bourbon becomes the next contestant on Wheel of Misfortune, and I have to take a commercial break to eradicate a 3/9/0 group of Catholic zealots.

Somehow I just have to doubt they were totally serious when they decided to "take up their cross" and follow this guy...:

PR_1142.jpg


I've heard of people disappearing when the preacher comes around, but that's a little extreme...

The battle is followed by news that Toulouse has fallen to our forces.

August news includes Limousin bending the knee, and September...

Yes, it did occur.

Having moved on to the north, France sends a unit in to try to reclaim Limousine, thinking we are too busy to come back and handle the situation. Of course they're wrong... It's a matter of days till they become dead. We managed to break out the Champagne during that time too and celebrate another purple striping of a blue province.

November sees Cambray fall on the 4th, Hainut on the 10th and Artois on the 22nd. Cologne is so happy with our progress she collapses...

It's Anjou's turn as December arrives, followed up with the last train to colonize Manabe. It'll go city sized before they arrive, but an extra 100 people is just that, an extra hundred people...

With things well in hand, I suppose it's time to have to deal with a little garbage. The first bit...?

PR_1143.jpg


Now all during this time I had been working to swap out our religious NI with something more useful. I guess the game got sick of me constantly going back to the NI screen and wanted to let me know what it thought of my inability to decide... Or it figured I was going for it and wanted to make me think about it a little more.

I had to go in and rework the budget a little bit. We had 0 inflation before, but now I had to get as much downward movement as I could afford. I checked WE while I was in here too, it's a comfy 0.09...

1603 begins with the usual deluge of building notices... Customs houses mostly. They are followed by notification that Valenciennes is now a striped province.

I also have enough natives cleared in Boina now to attempt a colonization... I send one out and hope they all fail...

Friday the 13th turns out to be lucky indeed...:

PR_1144.jpg


Only one southern province to go, and it's not far off.

In fact, it's just shy a month later that Saintonge falls.

With this province the southern half of France is contained. No more worries from here... I can now shunt all these guys to the Brittany hold out provinces and eliminate the last French forces.

Hadramut celebrates with a revolt. It appears they object to my assertion that they are a pet laundering facility...

The siege of Orleanais concludes successfully mid March.

Pottsdam celebrates with a 2/5/0 Protestant hoe down.
It turns into a protestant mow down...
as the rebs go down...
when the Empire hits town...
don't put up with no clowns...
puttin' our god down...
word to your "brother"...

Frances last attempt at a combat force meet its end as April meets hers...:

PR_1145.jpg


Sometimes I wish the French would learn. Other times I'm glad they don't...

Neumark joins the REFormed ranks in May, along with buildings finishing up in the newly acquired backwater provinces.

Menabe joins the Empire as a full fledged city to kick off June... GB steals the honor of defender of the faith for REFormed. That means she'll defend us from now on. At her discretion of course... Apparently there was a change in the guard I wasn't aware of.

On July 11th, Picardie gets it's stripes, followed by Calaise on the 13th... This causes the launch of the French fleet... Right into my awaiting 40 ship armada.

Koblenz celebrates with a revolt and Boina decides now's a good time to fail a colonist on it's entrance exam. I had 2K sitting Koblenz as a split off awaiting it's master so I could reassemble the unit, but the rebs make short work of it. I have to route a CAV army over from Pottsdam to handle it.

In Boina, I attack the natives a bit more, then a bit more. I want to save as many as I can for a population boost, but it looks like I'll have to wipe them out to get the game to let me have the island.

Our naval adventures meet with success...:

PR_1146.jpg


I even get a free ship out of it. And a big one too. Everybody likes free.

Our land tech pops in August, which will mean a run of Fort 3's to be built. After the war though... Before month's end we pop the New Financial Policies Event. It asks us if we want a tax increase for a bit or 340d... We take the ducats.

The French still have cash, and figure if they can't raise an army themselves, maybe some freedom fighters can get it done for them. The 1/5/0 spawn in Poitou of Patriot Rebels is the biggest "french" force I've had to deal with in awhile, so I guess it was an "effective" tactic.

Then France suddenly realizes it's doomed and offers a peace deal. It includes the usual low rent district and a few claims.

Hardly. I have some other ideas on which provinces to take, thanks.

The French "army" of patriots turns out to be little more than a speed bump...:

PR_1147.jpg


While this is being settled, my army marches into the next wilderness province to be settled. Banten is now just within reach, while Sunda is 4 "distance measurements" out of reach...

Before I land, Morbihan earns it's purple stripes. France decides to cut it's losses, conning Austria into a white peace.

In November, we get another core event, this one for Zeeland up Brabant way. I take it. War with them is imminent to connect Antwerpen and the CoT to ease defending the position. With the provinces I plan on taking in northern France, we'll make a nice little pocket of land for us.

I also get the Offense or Defense event right after the dispute. It's a move one way or the other and a loss of STAB. I take the Defense side and reset the budget for the STAB level. It's due back 7 months later, May of 1604. I won't be changing that NI anytime soon.

Banten has 7000 natives, all aggressive. I'll try it in stages to see if I can save some of them, but highly aggressive native populations are usually wiped out by the time city status is achieved. For an example of this, see Boina...

Sofala becomes a REFormed haven shortly there after. A few French pop ups get popped back down through the Holidays. All the war and the holiday cheer proves too much for General Giustiniani. Personally, I think he just had to write too may "i"s in his lifetime and he used up his allotment early...

On the last day of the year Pottsdam becomes the last Northern province to convert, barring new acquires...

1604 arrives full of promise with buildings being completed in many of the 2nd tier provinces and new members to The Empire. With the new fort level available, Bessarabia becomes the first upgrade courtesy the Enhancement Event.

There are three... Nope, scratch that... Two left to go...:

PR_1148.jpg


Soon I will have my provinces... I can almost taste them they are so close. (Yes, they taste like electronic dirt...)

Boina just doesn't want to be settled. Half her natives are gone, but it looks like I'll have to have a "Going Out of Boina" sale for the rest of them in order to have a successful settlement of the settlement...

Mid February and we're down to one as Finistere earns it's stripes. Athens celebrates by enhancing it's Fort to a level 3 by way of event.

With the last coastal siege done, France's mighty 1 transport fleet is put to sea, er, rest, as the 40 ship fleet sails past.

I decide not to wait on Blois and pitch the peace deal to the BBB on 99%...

PR_1149.jpg


The goal here was first to split France, hopefully making the southern half a juicy target for Castille to come in or for Rebels to pop in and release a few little nations I can GTY. In the North, it's simply taking Cosmo culture and big money out of Frances hands and into mine...

She really doesn't have a choice...

PR_1150.jpg


With war with Brabant in our future, the connection of Antwerpen will be solid. We'll have a shot at isolating the capitol should they decide to get testy again, and there's a good chance (Empire induced) that one of the minors will reappear to the south. All in all it works for me.

As for Lorraine... Well, you tell me...:

PR_1151.jpg


Seventeen Days. I think that's a new record even for France.
"You've just lost another war... what are you gonna do now...?"
"We're annexing Disney Land...!"
"What...? That doesn't even exist...!"
"Well Lorraine then. We're annexing Lorraine..."

I was even surprised by the speed of that one. Good Old France, she never disappoints. Well, maybe in HT³... But the HRE will do the job there.

I'll miss you BBB...

What's that...?

On no, not by a long shot. France isn't going to quit. Not until she's OPM'd, and even then she'll find someone to smack down...

And we have far to go before we sleep...

Till Next Time...!

T
 

unmerged(69928)

Weapon of Mass Obstruction
Feb 25, 2007
2.938
0
Yes, that's why I love pink sleeves for the alternative history. :cool:
Pink is the colour of death. :cool:
Blue is such a girly colour. :rofl:

Who'd have thought we'd turn the entire gender color situation in the world on it's ear when we started...? :rofl:

T
 

unmerged(69928)

Weapon of Mass Obstruction
Feb 25, 2007
2.938
0
Btw, how is it that Sardinia and Corsica have not been purpled? :p

That would be 6 BB each for the win, Bob... ;)

I figure some one will go after them eventually.
I'd really rather not incur the BB.
And it's not like I need need them...

I may have to do it though anyways.
The AI apparently doesn't want them either... :D

T
 

enf91

General
79 Badges
Nov 20, 2009
1.802
1.575
  • Victoria 3 Sign Up
  • Stellaris: Nemesis
  • Stellaris: Federations
  • Hearts of Iron IV: La Resistance
  • Europa Universalis IV: Mandate of Heaven
  • Europa Universalis IV: Cradle of Civilization
  • Stellaris - Path to Destruction bundle
  • Mount & Blade: Warband
  • Europa Universalis IV: Pre-order
  • Stellaris Sign-up
  • Sengoku
  • Crusader Kings III
  • Hearts of Iron IV Sign-up
  • 500k Club
  • Pride of Nations
  • Rise of Prussia
  • Mount & Blade: With Fire and Sword
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Stellaris: Megacorp
  • Crusader Kings II: Charlemagne
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Rome Gold
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Death or Dishonor
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Together for Victory
  • Imperator: Rome - Magna Graecia
  • Stellaris: Apocalypse
  • Europa Universalis IV: Rule Britannia
  • Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
  • Crusader Kings II: Reapers Due
  • Battle for Bosporus
  • For the Motherland
  • Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
  • Europa Universalis IV: Third Rome
  • Europa Universalis IV: Rights of Man
  • Europa Universalis IV: Art of War
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Expansion Pass
  • Stellaris: Synthetic Dawn
  • Stellaris: Leviathans Story Pack
  • Crusader Kings II: Conclave
  • Europa Universalis IV: Common Sense
  • Europa Universalis 4: Emperor
  • Europa Universalis IV: Golden Century
  • Europa Universalis IV: Mare Nostrum
  • Stellaris: Distant Stars
  • Stellaris: Ancient Relics
  • Europa Universalis IV: Res Publica
Pottsdam celebrates with a 2/5/0 Protestant hoe down.
It turns into a protestant mow down...
as the rebs go down...
when the Empire hits town...
don't put up with no clowns...
puttin' our god down...
word to your "brother"...

And the man in the back said "Everyone attack!"
And it turned into a Breton blitz.

I know wayyyyyyyyyyy too many '70s songs for my age.
 

OrangeYoshi

Mushroom Korps Field Marshal
20 Badges
Mar 6, 2009
9.722
0
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Semper Fi
  • Rome Gold
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Legio
  • Iron Cross
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Divine Wind
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Deus Vult
  • Hearts of Iron II: Armageddon
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Victoria 2
  • 500k Club
  • Cities: Skylines
  • Stellaris
  • The Kings Crusade
Yeah it is. Spayed and Neutered in all it's former glory. They did nerf her quite a bit. I will miss the threat of the BBB constantly hanging over my shoulder. That first encounter with her was always a highlight of any game.

If only I was talking about HT....

Does Yoshi know you're in his room looking over his shoulder at what he's typing...? The best part is that this France gets smaller...

Yes, I do know.....

On another note, it is always good to see EU3 France fully occupied, no matter how big you are.
 

Ahriman

Second Lieutenant
36 Badges
Jan 5, 2009
197
0
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Europa Universalis III: Chronicles
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Sword of the Stars II
  • Rome Gold
  • Europa Universalis IV: Cossacks
  • Crusader Kings III
  • Stellaris
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Cadet
  • Europa Universalis IV: Rights of Man
  • Stellaris: Leviathans Story Pack
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Together for Victory
  • Stellaris - Path to Destruction bundle
  • Steel Division: Normandy 44
  • Stellaris: Synthetic Dawn
  • Europa Universalis IV: Rule Britannia
  • Europa Universalis IV: Dharma
  • Shadowrun Returns
  • Prison Architect
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Europa Universalis IV: Common Sense
  • Mount & Blade: Warband
  • Europa Universalis III: Collection
  • 500k Club
  • Victoria 2
  • Europa Universalis IV: Res Publica
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
  • Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
  • Europa Universalis IV: Art of War
  • Divine Wind
  • Europa Universalis IV: El Dorado
Monetary Reforms :mad:

Well that's it for the French. I'm sure that's the last time we have a problem with them for the whole game :D
 

unmerged(69928)

Weapon of Mass Obstruction
Feb 25, 2007
2.938
0
And the man in the back said "Everyone attack!"
And it turned into a Breton blitz.

I know wayyyyyyyyyyy too many '70s songs for my age.

Which version of "ball room blitz"...? The Krokus one sticks in my head, though the sound was a little rough. Typical high pitched "hey those really are my testicles" early metal. As I age, not quite like a fine wine, I still go back to early Journey, Boston, Kansas... Never seems to get old. As long as you stop before the corporate "rock" and ballads of the mid eighties and beyond. In fact "Lights/Stay Awhile" is playing as I type this...

If only I was talking about HT....
Yes, I do know.....
On another note, it is always good to see EU3 France fully occupied, no matter how big you are.

Well color me silly. Care to tell the class or is it some deep secret that could get us all killed...?
Say hi for me.
Yes. Yes it is...
I won WW...! Sneaky little buggers we was...

Monetary Reforms :mad:
Well that's it for the French. I'm sure that's the last time we have a problem with them for the whole game :D

Agreed. Not the nastiest of events, but enough to be a pain. As for the French, Oh ye of little faith...

Yeah another beatdown and the drive to Antwerp is almost complete. Colonies are sweet even if you have to kill the natives.

Almost. I am patiently awaiting confrontation with Brabant to secure the two cores I have there. We may reach Holland yet. And there's that mess I'm going to start in India soon... :D

I suppose I should get going on the next installment...

T
 

unmerged(69928)

Weapon of Mass Obstruction
Feb 25, 2007
2.938
0
I liked your picture of "Peace Deals for Dummies". Keep up good work! ;)

If only they could read it... ;)

Next update in 3...2...1...
 

Malurous

Field Marshal
97 Badges
Jun 24, 2007
3.645
1
  • 200k Club
  • Magicka
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis IV: Res Publica
  • Europa Universalis: Rome
  • Sengoku
  • Sword of the Stars
  • The Showdown Effect
  • Victoria 2
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Rome: Vae Victis
  • Warlock: Master of the Arcane
  • War of the Roses
  • Leviathan: Warships
  • 500k Club
  • Cities: Skylines
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Knight (pre-order)
  • Europa Universalis III: Collection
  • Europa Universalis IV: El Dorado
  • Europa Universalis IV: Pre-order
  • Crusader Kings II: Way of Life
  • Pillars of Eternity
  • Europa Universalis IV: Common Sense
  • Crusader Kings II: Horse Lords
  • Cities: Skylines - After Dark
  • Imperator: Rome - Magna Graecia
  • East India Company
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Crusader Kings II: Charlemagne
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Rajas of India
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II: Sunset Invasion
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Commander: Conquest of the Americas
  • Deus Vult
  • Dungeonland
  • Cities in Motion
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Europa Universalis III: Chronicles
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Divine Wind
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Europa Universalis IV: Art of War
  • Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Knights of Pen and Paper +1 Edition
Hah, loved the For Dummies book. And the annexation happening in 17 days was indeed remarkable :rofl:

If I could say something and sound innocent doing so, it was OK. I figured I had an out if anyone got really torqued over it, and anyone of like mind would get it instantly... Once you go vulgar, there's no out or double meaning or any of that. It's just a crass attempt at a joke that usually comes off cheap and nasty.

Fully agreed. The best situation is if someone's trying to blame you for double meanings - acting all innocent is so fun in that case :D

EDIT:
Once more I have interrupted your chain of "Update in certain amount of seconds" by posting inbetween. Truly I am the scourge of nothing that really matters!

And you aren't alone either!
 

unmerged(69928)

Weapon of Mass Obstruction
Feb 25, 2007
2.938
0
Chapter 51: I'm going to beat the Brabants off of you !!!​

After relieving France of a few provinces, we set up phase two of Operation:Core with a few GTYs...:

PR_1152.jpg


Brabant currently holds 2 cores, Luxembourg seems an appropriate target for their aggression, as well as the BBB's, who will no doubt be looking for other OPM's in the general vicinity to devour to regain her stature.

The calendar hits the first of May, and we regain our not so long lost STAB, as well as learn of some obscure sea current we have no use for. Our newer acquisitions leave the HRE, and one gets the Provincial Court System decision. 40d for -1 RR doesn't seem like much, until you go to war again. It's a lot of littles that add up.

Boina gets another Native Clearance Event courtesy a rejuvenated CAV. It's looking like we'll hit zero before we get it settled. Only 4K to go...

Hadramut becomes the latest member of the REFormation as Austria claims defender of her faith. Might come in handy...

Our BB is is decent 7.26 with a steady 1.21 a year burn off. Not great but it could be worse. Still plenty of room to work with.

The end of July trips the Exceptional Year event, netting us 200d.

We get a steady stream of Merchant Hokey Pokey as each CoT gets hit every couple of months. They really hate it when you compete them out...

And Banten joins Boina in the "I don't wanna be a colony" club.

And with that, it's election day. And our good man Carafa survives to rule another day... Or two.

Things are goin well in the Caribbean for Portugal and GB. The CoT in Mexico is forced out business by the one owned by Portugal in Florida...

Boina again fails in it's colonist acceptance program. Another round of attacks on natives is followed by Liepzig converting and then Rouer(I still think I'm missing an important vowel)gue.

As December hits, the time is right...:

PR_1153.jpg


Austria will be a bonus, though at this point will be a simple ATM withdrawal should she join in...

Normandy is able to take part in the festivities this time around, though she doesn't do much.

Nice thing is the single BB for the DoW. As usual, the first battle is naval as I forget to pull my ships in off patrol. I try to pause and get them out of the battle, but the 16 ship Brabant Navy with 5 shock Admiral sends my poor 5 lights to the depths far too quickly.

Brabant then injures itself with another AI pointless embargo. I'm going to have to stock up on embargo's for dummies books...

Nicer than the 1 BB DoW is the fact Austria looks the other way at our "incursion". It's just me and the 'bant.

One thing I should say, never underestimate a small country this size...:

PR_1154.jpg


Not that they're a problem long term. It's just you can lose an army or two before you realize what happened... Which is what I seem to be trying to do. As I get set to go in, this little surprise stops me dead in my tracks as i have to reroute a few things to make sure I'm covered. The 2/6/2 5th DIV in Antwerpen is attacked by the combined Brabant force, 2/24/0...

The battle rages past the new year, where some 20 odd buildings complete, customs houses and a few market places.

I able to get help to Antwerpen and foil the attack...:

PR_1155.jpg


The cost to the Brabant Army is high as they suffer heavy casualties. I'll take a 1:3 count, though it could have been better if I had been able to get help there sooner.

The army jumps from Antwerpen to Zeeland and arrives first, clearing a 1K CAV recruit as it arrives. The 5th CAV out of Thüringen arrives to assist the CAV unit already there, and their combined numbers are enough...:

PR_1156.jpg


The once proud armies of Brabant are no more, and we are free to do as we please.

A few small pop up battles ensue, but we go into siege mode to finish up the war.

Venezia suffers from Hokey Pokey as Rebs pop in Valenciennes. All my guys are busy in Brabant... I have to stop the presses and come down to get them. Koblenz approves and goes REFormed as a result.

As April turns and I know I'm in the clear I green light the next round of Custom's Houses. I started with double digits, then to 9, then 8 tax provinces... Some 20 plus are slated to finish a year from now.

As our CAV make light work of the REBs, we start to spread out into Brabant. We receive word that the Swahili have collapsed, and put away a pop up Zeeland.

We then get another directive from the game that says we're not done with France just yet...:

PR_1157.jpg


*rubs hands together and smiles*

Looks like we'll have something else to do soon enough.

By June, our Stability is back from the DoW, Menabe has a workshop and we hear news of some "other" Indian territories in the new world... We also complete the permanent evacuation of natives on Boina in an effort to stop wasting colonists.

Before the first week is up, Vaanderen becomes the first of Brabants provinces to wear the purple stripes. Vermandois celebrates with conversion to all things REFormed and we discover Tape.

After a lengthy stay on Banten, I had to remove the unit there and take it up the coast for some R&R... The colonist arrives while they're away...:

PR_1158.jpg


At base tax six, she might break even... It's sad, but it'll take another level of Naval Tech to settle Sunda.

Shortly after the initial colonist, the 4K infantry return from R&R, inciting the natives to get all angry and paint themselves and throw things. It just makes for alot of extra clean up.

Back in the Mainland, we take control of one of our cores...:

PR_1159.jpg


It's all down hill from here. We set the cruise control to paint the town purple striped and kick back for a bit.

The only other game in town is Hokey Pokey, and I'm sick of that one. Auto send keeps me at six, and a few of the CoTs are just going to have to stay that way until I can get the NI swapped out.

I also go back and revoke some of the embargoes I had. I need at least another 10% to keep everything locked down, probably 20% before I can keep them out for good.

As October fades, Christolf I of Mecklenburg is elected HRE and Boina finally accepts its first colonist. (joy...)

Osnabrück falls mid November with Gelre following in early December. The day after Zeeland goes striped giving us our second core. The day after that Limburg dons the purple, and the day after that it's Holland that falls to the siege armies of The Empire.

The fleet that ravaged our patrols is pushed out to see, where it's met by the 40 ship 2nd FLT out of Calabria. I actually lose a big ship in the battle, but compared to the enemy's loss of it's 6/10/0/6 fleet, it's nothing...

It's awhile before the last province of Breda falls, but fall it does, prompting the offer of "piece"...:

PR_1160.jpg


I have to leave money on the table, but territory wise I couldn't ask for much better. The CoT in Holland was 62% WS... Heaven help Brabant if I get a core event on it... Even so, the provinces are good ones, and two are cores making for a very profitable campaign.

The nicest part...?

PR_1161.jpg


Our BB... Can't beat that with a stick.

Well, I could, but it's just a picture in screen, it's not real... And I really don't have the cash for another monitor right now...

April fool's Day in 1606 brings news of the collapse of Guyenne. Only if you had listened to me... You would own half of France by now.

On the 5th. the screen is filled with yellow words floating into the air and banners proclaiming the Custom's Houses are done.

There's still alot to do, and I have some cash to do it with...:

PR_1162.jpg


All of the provinces I take seem to be like Leipzig. I can see France building Manufactories in many provinces, but alot of the minors just let there provinces sit while having thousands in ducats sitting around. Sucks to be them I guess.

I'm at the point where I can float alot of garbage colonies and provinces now, so Eastward expansion into the spice trade can begin in earnest.

Apparently Christolf I of Mecklenburg wasn't all he was cracked up to be as Gustav II Wilhelm (???) gets elected emperor in May. Love the name. Just throw the "II" in there anywhere. Yes, I am Ant III Racer, Earl of Supper Dish and Lord of three dogs.

How about a quick look into the world of finance...:

PR_1163.jpg


Portugal is making a nice run up the ladder. Her New World Empire is very large now. GB continues to soldier on. France is still rich enough to be a problem. The countries that got the lucky tag late are all doing very well, which is what we had hoped for. Japan should be making an appearance here soon, and the other Original lucky, Delhi isn't too far off the front page.

After some Land Enclosures and Abandonments of the HRE it's back to business in the exciting world of infrastructure. I checked the military stats, and it appears VIJ is warring right now. I wanted to wait until she was full strength to go in...

I do start moving units down to Muscat and Dhofar. The time is fast approaching for an Indian Incursion.

While the troops are moving, I tend to the colonies, sending new ones out whenever one is available. A couple of revolts pop, mostly in far away places. Everything on the fringes has it's own regiment for this purpose. I hate with a passion having to drag armies around by boat. It costs, and is why I have nearly a third the armed forces higher than I normally would have... But not having to do anything but read about the revolts is worth it. And it's not like we don't have the money...

Antwerpen is next up for Holey Pokey. Checking the province report, I see Novgorod has 5 merchants there and is bucking for the monopoly. I can't have that... They get an embargo.

Boina receives it's second colonist with open arms as a revolt pops in Brabant. Tangiers gets a merchant evicted and in checking the CoT Granada is in place for a monopoly there. Yes. They get an embargo too. The Brabant Rebs are two and out as I get some new forces together.

St. Kitts approves and converts to the ways of the nation. Unfortunately all is not well in the land of the Milanese...:

PR_1164.jpg


I decide to pay the 40d, doesn't hurt to see what happens.

With the expansion in Europe, and with moving forces down to the South, I have need of some new watchdogs for Reb patrol around the north. The first new unit is the 7th CAV out of Nevers under the command of 1/3/0/1 General Paleologi Monteferrato. It will be up to these units to patrol some rather large areas, but with good generals they will be up to the task. They also serve as my only defense against any aggression from neighbors... Something I'm not so confident in.

Units are being pulled from all over The Empire to head for Dhofar. Both of my Transport fleets are headed there two. I'll have one stationed in Dhofar and one on the Indian coast, and I'll switch them as I send men across by sea. This will make sure I always have a fleet ready when men arrive and enable me to keep a fleet on standby if I should have to retreat and can't get back to Kutch.

April brings news of all our Customs Houses completing. In checking the tote board I have seven missionaries still active after Vaanderen converts. I start a number of new Market Places and a few courthouses to round out the month.

In May, I lose another missionary as Whydah converts, followed a week later by Brabant finding the way. Production income in Brabant is huge... 44.13 a year. It pulls half as much money as Görz.

Banten and Boina are progressing nicely, and we receive word in August that Banten will produce Spices... That's excellent news. It's followed in September with news of Silistria, Transylvania, Bessarabia, Cherson and Budjak all going core.

It proves to be too much good news... :

PR_1165.jpg


With Trade tech just about done, and Gov plugging along nicely, I decide Production Tech has to eat the bullet. It's only a year anyways, but it still sucks. Besides, my Advisor gives me 30d a month, so I still net 5 in the deal.

1607 proves to be a good year for cores as Neumark, Ruppin, Meissen and Pottsdam all become officially official. My Trade Tech also hits 23, so it's time to move on into something else.

All of this is too much for General Pallavicini. He dies on October 17th. I don't even know if ever even fought a battle...

Dominica is next for the Merchant HP, and it turns out it's Normandy, my faithful ally who is poised to steal my monopoly. Ally or not, an embargo is issued. I won't let countries take monopolies from me.

Swahili collapses again, And I get another bad event...

PR_1166.jpg


Don't think Friday the 13th escapes me...

The one star parade of advisors continues with a Sheriff. Sorry, a six gun is needed in these here parts, not a one shot wonder.

Dresden gets a free Fort 3 courtesy the defensive event. Works for me... I also get word that slaves will be the "good" produced in Boina. For awhile...

As the new year rolls around, we continue to amass troops in the south. It takes awhile to get everyone down there... While we wait, March rolls around with news of Antwerpen and Mecklenburg becoming cores. Nice boost to EOY there. Aures is so happy she converts for us.

I have to Embargo Scandinavia for more HP madness, though it's really a ploy to get Barcelona's trade numbers up. I can build a CoT in Roussillon if I can get Aragon's above the magic 400 mark. The move pops her value to 358.60 and climbing...

April brings some more buildings done, and we embargo Castille to see if it will help Aragon over the hump... Alas, it all goes to Andelucia... We tried.

I finally get a spread of discoveries to Delhi. The capitol sports 40.80d a year in TAX income. I love that province...

For a long while it's nothing much. A few colonists, a few events, a few buildings. Minor stuff. In July, Linz and Steiermark go core, lending some color to an otherwise bleak landscape of time.

A revolt in Jabal Shammar re focuses my attention to the south, where I see my men are nearing their destinations. The game must know I'm near ready, because my leader dies...

Our new fearless leader is none other than...:

PR_1167.jpg


Ah yes, computer dater extraordinaire... With a solid MIL rating. He'll come in quite handy if the general generator is nice to us.

Tangiers is next to play Merchant Roulette, and Ojisek becomes a core. Which is a good thing because I forgot all about them...

From the "I simply can't walk away from this" dept...:

PR_1168.jpg


Nope. Free core... Spice province... Done deal.

I figure I've given VIJ enough time to recover from her warring ways.

I check the ledger and see she hasn't disappointed me...:

PR_1169.jpg


Her 80K plus are almost double the last time I checked. That's good enough for me.

I start to station ships as protectors along the sea lanes around Kutch. VIJ has a sizable big ship fleet, and I can't leave the lanes open to them at all.

Zanzibar hears of our impending invasion and rebels. The 1K revolt is swallowed whole by the 4K permanently stationed there.

As I get things finalized, St. Kitts, Nevers, Franch-Comte, Auvergne and Othe all core for us. Alot of EOY cash in those provinces. I also hear that Toulouse has declared it's independence again from the BBB... You know what that means.

On Feb 16th, 1609, the first ground forces from The Empire disembark from Dhofar and head for Kutch. Our army is so happy to see action again... All except General Sfrondrati. He promptly dies. Another one that I don't think saw a single battle.

With a couple 2/4/2 siege armies in place to augment the standing defensive army, the decision is made to DoW the VIJ...

We learn of the capitols of Ayunhaya, Champa and Shan as they join in against our naked aggression. Normandy rushes in with a towel to cover us in the war...

True to form, VIJ issues an embargo craftily designed to hurt only them selves... The game celebrates our aggression with two useless advisors.

We head the 5th BAT from Kutch into nearby Sind, defended by a 7/4/0 VIJ contingent. It will be a good test of strength vs the enemy forces giving me an even better idea of just how many men I'll need to bring in.

The 2/4/2 2nd Siege out of Provence heads into adjacent Ahmadabad while the third army stays home to protect the beaches.

Antwerpen loses a merchant, but no clear monopoly means no embargoes.

As is usually the case, the first battle is a naval one as a 12 big ship VIJ fleet attacks my pirate patrol around The Andamens Island. I manage to pull them out to safety and port them.

Our first land battle goes far better...:

PR_1170.jpg


A decent result for being out numbered. Still, losing that many men a battle means at least another three or four units over here. Siege units and a few 4K INF should be enough along with one decent CAV squad for cover.

the 7/4/0 formation seems to be a VIJ staple. It's an interesting number, one that would be detrimental to use in HT³ given the bonuses... Even here it's a disadvantage to them. A 4/7/0 would fair just as well and be cheaper to maintain.

I decide to push the 3rd Siege out pf Piedmont into Jodphur as the 5th DIV heads home. The 3rd is met by another band of VIJ soldiers...:

PR_1171.jpg


That puts four armies of 7/4/0 in the box. That's 44K out of the 80K they have... So either there's more in the fog or they are otherwise occupied with another war. Either way, I have another round of troops due into Kutch soon. Once they arrive I should have enough to firmly establish a beach head. All I'll need is a few 4K INF to act as anchors for the line.

We'll see how it all turns out next time...

Till then...!

T
 

unmerged(69928)

Weapon of Mass Obstruction
Feb 25, 2007
2.938
0
Once more I have interrupted your chain of "Update in certain amount of seconds" by posting inbetween. Truly I am the scourge of nothing that really matters!

I am undone... Truly I am accursed in the land of update limbo... :p

Hah, loved the For Dummies book. And the annexation happening in 17 days was indeed remarkable :rofl:

Embargoes for Dummies is next... So many "duh" moments this run. I actually was watching the screen when the color changed. I said no way... They must have ridden a group of guys in and put a cannon to Lorraine's King's head and said simply... "SIGN..."

Fully agreed. The best situation is if someone's trying to blame you for double meanings - acting all innocent is so fun in that case :D

So very true. Sometimes I stare at the ground and swing my foot like a 5 year old in trouble... It's well worth the "WTH are you doing" face I get to see...

EDIT: And you aren't alone either!

I am double undone. Better than being Double entendre'd I suppose... ;)

T
 

OrangeYoshi

Mushroom Korps Field Marshal
20 Badges
Mar 6, 2009
9.722
0
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Semper Fi
  • Rome Gold
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Legio
  • Iron Cross
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Divine Wind
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Deus Vult
  • Hearts of Iron II: Armageddon
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Victoria 2
  • 500k Club
  • Cities: Skylines
  • Stellaris
  • The Kings Crusade
Yes! Take out Germany! Especially Austria!

Well color me silly. Care to tell the class or is it some deep secret that could get us all killed...?
Oh, just SuperPower VII set during the Napoleonic era where I have lost Marseilles to royalist rebellions, Avignon has fallen to the Austrians and Italians, and Normandy has been taken by a Prussian/Russian combined force....
Say hi for me.

Hi Enlightened Emperor Beamicus! Emperor of Austria, Hungary, Tirol, the Czech, etc., etc...

I won WW...! Sneaky little buggers we was...

Congrats! I'll go check out the final day of the game.