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Firstly - congrats on the award win! It's twice as sweet when you didn't know you were competing. 
Actually, we could: an army needs to be drilled, so drilling the pink sleeves would be an activity the sergeants would take part in on a very regular basis!
Actually, we could: an army needs to be drilled, so drilling the pink sleeves would be an activity the sergeants would take part in on a very regular basis!
I must say that the mistranslation is hilarious :rofl: Especially if you have a dirty enough mind...
Sure, no problem. Just had to clarify just in case
I was hoping you wouldn't mind me using your remark as the spring board...
It fit so well with the question above it...
Sure, no problem. Just had to clarify just in case
Can't wait for your update when you get un-busy, antracer!
On another note, things seemed to slow down once our long term strategy took effect from back when we were planning it (i.e. we were talking about 1600 in 1430, but now it is 1600). We need some sort of shake-up in our discussions/strategy, or else we'll be on auto-pilot for the rest of the game.....
I thank you for your loyal support.
Wear your pink with honor. Just not to the bar on the corner...
Firstly - congrats on the award win! It's twice as sweet when you didn't know you were competing.
Actually, we could: an army needs to be drilled, so drilling the pink sleeves would be an activity the sergeants would take part in on a very regular basis!
I remember Sir OrangeYoshi mentioning he was putting me in something, so I should mention that. I'm not one for fanfare and trumpet blowing, "for the glory" so to speak... As such I put it out of my mind and forgot about it until the notice.
oDrilling with pink sleeves just sounds so.. so.. wrong. I have to go with Sir Malurous on this one. Every time I read it I giggle like a school girl. Or maybe it's just because of my vibrating massage chair...
My mind isn't dirty... It's just a little off center. Innuendo is a tricky tricky thing. Heck, even the word Innuendo is Innuendo...
:rofl: Love the pic...! Though I'm fine with a little bit of silliness.
On an official note... I got some time yesterday to do part of the next update, about half way. We're in three wars already, if that helps the wait...
I think we'll have plenty to talk about, especially Eastward and GB wise. In looking at the maps after the stint, Japan is really cranking it up. By the time we reach her, she may be the size of Ming. GB and Portugal are going into mammoth mode... Persia is becoming quite the road block. Novgorod is quietly making headway too, and an unlucky GH is still holding her own.
It looks to be a rather eventful end game if I want to go anywhere.
I have a 10 hour road trip today...
If I have anything left in the tank I'll try to finish up the update later this afternoon.
Till then...!
T
And now for something completely different!
antracer;10766479 On an official note... I got some time yesterday to do part of the next update said:
† Sir enkhuush †
I thank you good sir...! How goes the war...?
† Sir draik †
Three is only the beginning, though two are just mop ups really. Anyways, you'll see. It's fun...!
Going through this stint I am beginning to see where we could conceivably have some issues at the end. England is just so big now. I don't know that I'll have a problem with her fight wise, it's just the sheer amount of time it'll take to try and take her down. I can see 20 years of war just for the first go round of provinces...
I'm still working with what exactly I should do with expansion. I did a little towards the end of the stint, and it'll give us something real to look at and help decide.
10 hours isn't bad. Tuesday was 14. A few years ago it wasn't uncommon for 14-16 hours any given day. Things have changed alot lately though. It's good in that I'm home more, but bad in that I miss the paychecks...
† Sir Malurous †
Different shades indeed... I always drew the line at vulgar. If I could say something and sound innocent doing so, it was OK. I figured I had an out if anyone got really torqued over it, and anyone of like mind would get it instantly... Once you go vulgar, there's no out or double meaning or any of that. It's just a crass attempt at a joke that usually comes off cheap and nasty. Now some people like cheap and nasty ...that's why the mint makes twenty's... but I don't happen to be one of them. In my mind, the double meanings and the word play are where all the fun is.
And yes, I did finish. In fact, It's going up right after this...
T
I thank you good sir...! How goes the war...?
† Sir draik †
Three is only the beginning, though two are just mop ups really. Anyways, you'll see. It's fun...!
Going through this stint I am beginning to see where we could conceivably have some issues at the end. England is just so big now. I don't know that I'll have a problem with her fight wise, it's just the sheer amount of time it'll take to try and take her down. I can see 20 years of war just for the first go round of provinces...
I'm still working with what exactly I should do with expansion. I did a little towards the end of the stint, and it'll give us something real to look at and help decide.
10 hours isn't bad. Tuesday was 14. A few years ago it wasn't uncommon for 14-16 hours any given day. Things have changed alot lately though. It's good in that I'm home more, but bad in that I miss the paychecks...
† Sir Malurous †
Different shades indeed...
I always drew the line at vulgar. If I could say something and sound innocent doing so, it was OK. I figured I had an out if anyone got really torqued over it, and anyone of like mind would get it instantly... Once you go vulgar, there's no out or double meaning or any of that. It's just a crass attempt at a joke that usually comes off cheap and nasty. Now some people like cheap and nasty ...that's why the mint makes twenty's... but I don't happen to be one of them. In my mind, the double meanings and the word play are where all the fun is. And yes, I did finish. In fact, It's going up right after this...
T
Chapter 49: The French Correction...
Our trip down memory lane begins with a slider move. This time we let the people know we'd like them to be more civilized... Er, centralized. We explain breathing techniques and yoga, and enforce two hours a day of meditation upon everyone to find their centers.
On TV, Public Service announcements run every day. They are designed to enlighten the populace and to inform...
SCENE: A small owl child sits under a tree as a wise old father owl watches over him. Japanese folk music plays in the back ground, and the light seems to come from everywhere. It is a surreal place. A place of peace, harmony and tranquility. Except for where the little owl sits. The little owl moves and fusses and fidgets about... And the father owl grows impatient with his child...
Wise Old Owl: "Be still my son. You cannot find the center if it is constantly in motion..."
Little Fidgeting Owl: "Can't you just tell me..."
Wise Old Owl: "Now son, you know that I cannot find the center for you."
Little Fidgeting Owl: "Please...? I don't want to do this anymore. Just tell me. How many chants does it take to get to the center of an Empire... Pop...???"
Wise Old Owl: "Unfortunately for Me, many more than three..."
-----------
The result of our slider endeavors are a few revolts. They are small, 4K in Trinidad and 3K in Kassal. Both are wrapped up with expedience before the press can get there and take pictures.
With 99% of the REFormation complete, I begin right off the rip...
This is a basic mop up operation, just to get the last couple of provinces from these guys. Nothing from the Mamluks, thanks anyways.
It also serves as a primer to just get back into the swing of things.
My "loyal" subjects are so happy with the news that they revolt in Pottsdam. The 2/5/0 "army" is man handled by the 4th Battalion out of Mecklenburg.
I also take some time to spread tidings of gladness and great joy...:
Yeah, so I'm a little late for the yuletide season. There's still cold and snow and all that. They'll get over it.
France has been hitting me with spies and making a general nuisance of herself, I figure it's the least I can do to repay her. Also on the back burner at this time is Brabant, who has likewise been spamming spy missions into my territory lately.
Normandy joins the Oman festivities... How nice.
The war is exactly one battle long with Oman. The same for Adal. It took two for the Mams because they had two armies and I couldn't get them to agree to combine them together so I wouldn't have to work so hard. Hedjaz was a battle, and then a battle. Their "army" actually survived to die another day.
The game is secretly laughing at me. I can tell. A one star philosopher from St. Kitts. What's he going to tell me...? What great philosophy comes from there other than smoke, relax, swim and sit in the sun until you're a different color...? Oh, and Rum I suppose. The philosophy of Rum. World changer, that.
Rebels in Hadramut are mad they can't be Sunni.
"Sunni enough it won't matter" I tell them.
The next province to convert is Qawasim. Maybe they caught the evening news story on Hadramut...
May 9th, 1600: Najran is under Empire control.
May 12th, 1600: Kargah is too.
May 16th, 1600: Muscat feels lonely and joins in.
The Mams sue for white peace.
Hedjaz sues for a green peace.
I accept Hedjaz's last 3 ducats and send them on their way. The Mams just sit and cry, wishing just for once that they were Hedjaz...
Oman wants out too. They offer 21d and claims. Bah.
St. Thomas joins the REFormed club mid June, as does Budjak and Nizwa.
The last day of June is the end for Oman as I propose the annex...
And July begins a new era for the province.
On the same day, Ming collapses... Meaning I now have five junk provinces to take instead of two as the Mams inherit their old land back. I seriously want to kill Ming now.
Feeling that I'm not busy enough, and having all that BB to spare, I make another move to clean up another old mess with provinces still on the list...:
We already have the Mams covered, so no harm no foul there. Bulgaria would normally be a bystander, but we have an uncontested core on Nis. It's a decent province that can be built up quite nicely, and will make a fine addition to our collection.
Normandy joins in the fun, though she does little but sail a few ships in when she can.
Our current war line up is Bulgaria, The Mams, Adal and Tunisia, with Oman and Hedjaz already sent home.
Bulgaria attacks Edirne just before disappearing faster than the Siegfried and Roy Magic Show Tigers. They even go away quicker than the Tunisian farce, which is vaporized before it can leave home.
There's a few more battles as Bulgaria actually had a few men. Tunisia has a few ships but no fort. The province falls instantly, and the next day they offer me 6 ducats to let bygones be bygones. I tell them we can let be-gones be be-gones... And why are you still here...? Oh yes, the annexation paper work. Yes... Why don't you just sign that right now, while you're here and all... That way the trip won't have been wasted...
That's the last for North Africa anyways. Portugal can keep her junk.
Our BB rating reaches 5.59. We'll get right on that.
Right after I die...
Yes, it's election time again... Our new and improved leadership model is...
I like him. Means he'll probably die before the next election...
Bulgaria doesn't have a fort. WTH...? Do any of the AI realize forts are kinda necessary...? Silliness. They also offer 3d for peace. Not. And no to Adal for the white peace too, as they're the war leader.
Yes, you read that right. Two province backwater Adal is the war leader for the Oman war.
A revolt pops in Tunis just to let me know how much they appreciate getting annexed.
And then my tidings of gladness and joy truly become tidings gladness and joy...:
Yes, my faithful ally... Um... Whatever his name is. Good old "that guy". Love you man...!
O joy o joy o joy...! I am a happy man.
France is joined by stalwarts Cologne, Mainz and Lorraine.
The game is telling me I need to connect the top of my empire.
And so I shall.
I check the war score early, just to see how I stack up...:
Looks really good, doesn't it. Except for the fact all my guys are south... (Deja Vu anyone...?) Well not all of them. This is probably the best I've been set for a French war yet. Of course that means I could have 4K INF hanging out by Lorraine and that's it...
I take a few moments to make a new general, as I don't have but one still alive. And then move the pieces into position.
France has a supposed 57K in the field. VIJ currently has 80K. Castille is 82K and GB has hit 90K. Persia has slipped, but it appears she's at war. Her 68K is a slight drop off, just under the GH's 70K. My 328K, way more than I normally carry but necessary with all of the continental locations we have, dwarfs everyone at this point. The problem is the same as it always is though. Men in theater. I have as many as France does on the way. I'll need a few more.
The first battle of the war is the same as always. I forget I have ships patrolling by Holland and they get attacked.
France then refuses us trade in the CoT... Just once I'd love an AI to check before doing that. Thanks for hurting yourself for all that "imaginary" trading I might do in that silly CoT of yours.
Lorraine makes the first move, a bold strike into Bourgogne. It's over a second later as my first units arrive.
France pops into Othe with a decent 15K force as Nassau is broken into by Mainz. On our end, Hawran falls to the Empire in the biggest time waster war of the century...
The game definitely wants me to head into the north lands...:
That gives me that whole area except for Neumark as cores...
That's very sweet indeed, and makes an excursion into Brandenburg a highlight on the future tour.
The French pour even more men into Othe to knock it down as my men continue to trek towards the big blue lands. She's hiding almost 20K there now. I like it once you get into fort 2's and 3's. Not so much rush to protect everything lets you get a decent army together, unless they show up with 50K INF...
Hainut falls to French aggression as I eliminate the threat in Nassau. I ask for and get access through Luxembourg, enabling me to go at the French from the top side too.
Al Karak falls to the Empire in late November. I am going to cut this war short. I just want enough to get everyone to say go away.
Then France does me a solid and annexes the nut...:
Thanks for that. It's like a free province in the mail I wouldn't even have had access too... But now, thanks to you France, I can get it from you with no annex penalty. That is just so doggone nice of you...!
The celebration begins right away with Merchant Hokey Pokey. Yeah...! I love this game... Now... Where'd I put that right foot...
Christmas Day, 1600. I got a new colonist in Cape and made 1000 men from Lorraine disappear. Thanks Santa...!
Oh... And I also got a little surprise...:
Apparently while I wasn't looking, France went down to Soldiers-R-Us with a bunch of coupons and got another army or three.
As you can see, I'm like the date, as I'm still getting ready...
On the other side of the world things are going much better...:
With the fall of Nis, Bulgaria is peaced out. All they have is the province and claims revocation on Sillistria and Burgas. I take it. Nis is worth it, as the Iron Trade good is currently pumping 15d+... With a little work this'll be a killer province.
With the new year is the usual flood of completion reports. Customs Houses and Market Places. Another Mam Province I don't want falls as Nubia gets re-striped.
I really wanted to break the siege in Othe, but I didn't really have the men to to get it done. It was a last minute gut check call, as I waited until the dance was done and the province remained un-striped. I decide to send 15K CAV in to see what I can do, and to see just how effective I can be as an underdog. The hope is that I won't need to make alot more new men...
Yeah. That's definitely one of those "don't try this at home" things. I figured I'd lose. I didn't figure I'd cause a whole 803 casualties. Not for the number I suffered anyways. Of course my stellar general selection did little to help the situation. Trust me when I say this... It pays to recheck the general before trying this kind of thing. A good 5 shock would have at least had something of an impact...
As my men are escorted from the province to go lick their wounds, my garrison shrinks to a dangerously low 450... Rumbles in the court suggest we should change Othe's name to Alamo...
Cologne decides it wants to play too and waddles into Württemberg as I receive reports of another French Army, this one a 3/16/0 headed for Lothringen to break my siege there. My little 2/4/0 does it's best to dig in while I send orders to the remaining 4th CAV and the 3rd BAT to join them and attempt to retain the siege progress.
The results are very satisfactory...
Now we're even Le Blob. More than even. And I retain my siege progress. I won't take this province in the peace deal. I figure a spayed and neutered BBB will annex it ASAP to regain province count. That'll give me the province discount price should I want it next war around.
We achieve similar results in Württemberg, where the 2nd CAV has ridden all the way in from Macedonia to lend a hand. The 15K unit decimates 3,999 enemy while losing a mere 89 men.
The distraction of the French action in Lothringen proves to be enough. As we pursue the army that attacked us there, the main French army finishes it's work in Othe...:
The victory in pursuit is hollow with the news that we have lost ground, and that we have lost it to the French of all nations.
The news stirs up the men and the nation into a frenzy, and we turn with new vigilance and passion with pink sleeves flying to annihilate the French like never before.
A true sign of this renewed vigor displays itself within the week...:
Bastages. Get everyone all riled up and ready to go and *spoof*. No matter though, as the continued pursuit of the northern army yields yet another victory. Another 3000 Frenchmen fall while our own squad loses a paltry 166 men.
To the south, I am determined to stop the mega stack. I pull three armies in and gear them up for the stand in Nevers...
As the French complete Othe and move towards Nevers, I run the beleaguered 4th CAV out of Lombardia in to establish position. Once 15K strong, she was heavily cut down in the first run in with the blue's monster army. After getting her out, I set her aside and got 2 months of reinforcements and 90% of her morale back. Now at 13K strength, she's the first in to hold the line on the incoming French.
Also heading into the fray is the 15K 2nd CAV out of Macedonia, still near full strength and moral. Added to the mix is the 10th DIV out of Görz. Originally a 2/10/0 defensive unit to prevent the CoT province from suffering a looting penalty, she's now a paired down 2/6/0 offensive siege unit. I bring her in to give the lines some much needed INF.
The net result is as good as I could hope for given the circumstances...:
Henry VII turns out to be an average leader at best as his forces head for the safety of friendly ground.
I'm not ecstatic about the CAV losses, but I needed to turn that army. WE with two or three provinces occupied can mount pretty quick. I don't care that I lose a few ducats, but I do I care about the RR that the WE will push. Being spread out, I need every man fighting in constructive battles like this, not off in the boonies playing whack a mole with zealots or nationals. Not to mention the RR hit to the income of every province. Allowing your lands to be striped is a dangerous game I prefer not to play.
Given the French Army's Artillery contingent, I decide to send all three units into Othe ahead of them to see if I can't take another chunk out of them before they scamper off into their own territory to hide and heal. As long as I can keep them on the run, I can maintain some control. If they beat me once due to depleted numbers, they'll get away and go regroup. I do not want them to get away...
To the south, I have more than I could ever want of Mam Lands. I offer a peace of 12 on a 77% WS, just a renunciation of claims on Cairo and a few others owned by other nations. They accept, ending another drain on my manpower and my time.
With a 4% WS, I offer Adal a white peace, which they refuse. Tards. They're just going to offer one when WE goes north anyways. This is one of those "no brainers" that an AI should always take. Instead the only "no brainer" is actually the head of the AI in question.
Whydah goes core, not that it's needed. Well, actually not that it matters. There's no income from there, and there's already a core to enable settlement of the southern tip of Africa.
While I'm around and about, I take care of getting missionaries to the new provinces. While doing so Gafsa relents and REForms in early April. I receive word that Barbados now follows the REFormed path too.
To the north, the other French army is reduced by another 2900 men. It's now a 953/922/0 shell of it's former self, pursued by a still 10K strong CAV unit from the Brandenburg region.
The fighting in Othe is furious, but at the end of the day it is The Empire that is victorious...:
This defeat all but seals the fate of the French Army. Though she's making reinforcements like mad, they won't reach her in time to stave off the fate I have in store for it.
Over on the other side of all things European, remember that Austrian province that couldn't be helped after it rebelled...?
Well, Mainz owns it now...
Or, DID own it. I'll take this in a peace deal to help cement the northern route. And they did join with the BBB after all. There's always a price to pay for joining with the BBB against me. It's kind of the one thing I don't forgive...
As I pop into France's capitol ahead of the remainder of the doom stack army, the 2nd CAV wipes away the 1K INF and 1K ARTy standing there. The other French army, once a mighty 3/16/0, vanishes in Valenciennes...
As May begins, our Naval Tech jumps to 23. With the ahead of time penalties gone, I start putting my money back into Land Tech for Fort 3's. We're due to have them in August of 1603.
We cancel the mission to build an arts building while we're at it... And instead are tasked to improve relations with Anhalt... At -193 and falling, don't hold your breath waiting for that one to get done.
With France heading for home, I call up another unit from the boot to help out against the doom(ed) stack. The 3rd Battalion out of Firenze arrives just in time and meets with the 2nd CAV to wait for the French. The results are well worth the rebel risks...:
All that's left with this army is to mop it up at my convenience.
The only thing that could hurt me now is another mega stack hiding in the dark recesses of the French land or a sudden DoW from a powerful neighbor.
At any rate, we're not nearly done yet...
Till next time...!
T
A wise old owl says "Death to France"! Long live the Pink Sleeves! Now to mop up the French and their allies. Did Normandy not join in the war with their former overlord? Nice to see that the Empire continues to expand its Arabian holdings in preparation of the domination of...the SPICE!
Milanese Empire should capture silk producing provinces in order to stop "Poor Uniforms".
Or just start executing the purveyors of the lavender and the fetishists that somehow made them and figured that the mighty milanese empire and its supremely focused military industrial complex would just let this pass with a wink, a smile and reference to "don't ask, don't tell". No someone did not pay enough "contributions" to let this get by.
The French can still put together an impresive doomstack. I won't be satisfied until this size of army is impossible for the French to field. I demand more humbling!
By now the blueheads must have eliminated all things coloured pink in their country (except for the Milanese troops, of course ) - it's probably something of a national fear.
"Go inside children, I saw a flutter of pink on the horizon!"
"If you don't eat your vegetables the Milanese will come and pinkify you!"
) - it's probably something of a national fear."Go inside children, I saw a flutter of pink on the horizon!"
"If you don't eat your vegetables the Milanese will come and pinkify you!"
If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding!
(How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?)
I can just imagine a French Halloween: instead of ghouls, goblins, and witches, and moth-eaten werewolves with fangs (I've listened to Dr. Demento too often), children wear pink sleeves (and get all the candy they want because the adults who answer the door surrender to them).
And what "other France"?
Mr. Owl, how many lickings does it take to get to the center of a Frenchie pop? Love your Tootsie Pop reference. And all candy. Rots your teeth, but do you care?