Chapter 15: Bad Boy Bad Boy, What You gonna do...?
Spend alot of time waiting for you... That's what. Waiting for it to cool out, chill, take a load off. At least 5 points.
So, just where are we anyways...?
I'm the King... I need to know these things.
I had a list somewhere.
I know I did.
Let's see, where did I put that list...?
Oh, here it is:
Crap... I forgot to feed the dog again...!
I begin the day making my way down to the Kingly office. I took the back way down as usual, I hate the crowds that gather in the hall. They all want something all the time. It would be nice some day to just have someone stop in for a visit, you know...? Someone who isn't your mother anyways.
I spotted Henri the Guard at the end of the hallway, the place he has stood for nearly 10 years now, or so he says.
"Henri... How's the family"
"Very good, my Liege"
"So who won last night...?"
"That would be the Hawks Sire, three to one."
Henri had a smile on his face. No doubt he'd won a little spending money on the game... "By the looks of it you made out quite well." I remarked.
"Indeed, Sire. I've almost enough now."
"Hopefully you're still some time away..." I said. "Can't have my favorite Guard leaving quite yet."
Henri smiled. "It'll take some time yet, sire. I'll see to that."
I smiled in spite of myself. I had no idea what Henri had done to deserve the back alley posting, but he was one of the most decent human beings I had ever had the pleasure to meet. One didn't get to meet too many of these in the Palace, as most were there simply to plead, beg or extort whatever they could get. The castle would be a cold place indeed when he was gone.
"What's the crowd like this morning..."
"Antsy Sire, and there's a herald from the front in Bavaria with news of the battles. They've been prodding him all morning to let it out, but he refuses to tell..."
"Hmmm. Good news or bad you think..."
"Herald's name is Harold, Sire. We went through training together. He was guard here for awhile, but didn't like all the standing around. By the looks of him I'd say the news was good."
Henri let out the smallest of grins. In the past, the Captains of the Guard had crushed any displays of emotion in their men. I can tell you I didn't like it a bit. It made them harder to read...
I smiled back and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Thank You Henri. Care to escort me in...?"
Henri started a bit. Normally a page would fetch the Hall Guards who would escort me to the office. Not today. In fact, not any day from now on if I had anything to say about it. And I did.
"Um, yes Sire. Would you want me to fetch a second guard ? It's proper to enter the hall with two, Sire."
"You have someone in mind...?"
"Well, no sire, not really. I've been standing this post for so long, I hardly know any of the others."
"Then we'll just go like this" I said, not wanting to stand around for while waiting, and also not wanting to have to deal with whatever the Captain of the Guard sent to accompany us.
"Yes, Sire." Henri straightened up, and motioned to the page standing ready. "Go on ahead boy, let them know we're coming."
Another face lit up, and the excited boy ran ahead, nearly screaming as he went to make way for the King. Another small smile crept across Henri's face as he watched him go. I let it lay for today, but I wondered if the boy had been stuck here as Henri had been. Stowed away in some back hall in the places of least importance.
Upon entering the office, I called for the Herald. If there was news, I wanted to hear it.
As it turns out, Henri was right, and good news it was:
I called my advisors in to discuss the situation. We had completed or efforts against the Bavarian forces, and were now settling in to siege their lands. The main CAV army then broke from these engagements and rode south, where they would meet up with the forces trying to break the Ferarran defenders. Also, an INF column was making it's way south to help finish the enemy in Naples.
A scant week later, Bavaria sent an emissary with a peace. He was sent back as empty handed as his white peace proposal had been.
Word reached us of the King of England gone mad as he sent Aragon a sixth excommunication letter.
While things outside the Castle walls were going well enough, inside they were not. I had put it off for some time, but the pot was boiling over, and I needed to settle some things here. I had wanted to see how the Captain of the Guard would handle my comings and goings, and how he would handle Henri.
I was happy with neither of his decisions.
Shortly after my grand entrance, I found two guards posted at the hallway door, who then insisted they escort me to the office. I also found a new Herald, well actually the old herald, just in a new place. I had been so busy with the war that I had not had time to take care of this, but I missed my morning chats, and I missed the look in the eyes of those who thought themselves lost suddenly finding purpose and meaning again.
Jeanne Du Mont walked with air of superiority seldom seen in men. It was as if his feet were too good for the very floor he walked on. It was enough to tell me I hated the man already... However duty and honor required I hear him out, though my ears already loathed the sound of his voice before he spoke a word.
"My Lord" Du Mont removed his hat and bowed with sweeping hand and plume floating and so full of regalia... Well, full of something anyways. Pomp and Circumstance be damned. How anyone could think this puffery was doing anyone any good was beyond me.
"Thank You for seeing me Sire. I realize you have been very busy with the wars, and I applaud you for your victories. May I sit...?"
I gave him a quick nod, though I thought the fact of him standing before me might be more appropriate. He may be a fluff, but he at least had the sense to be direct and ask.
Having placed his hat on the chair next to him, Du Mont sat forward and began:
"My Lord, I need to speak with you regarding your entrance into the main hall, and the manner in which my men should accompany you to this office."
Did he just say my men...? I thought to myself...
"As you know, Sire, it is my job to protect the King from any who would think to harm you, or even kill you as you enter the great hall. It is my task to ensure you are safe at all times, and that you travel the halls in the safest manner possible. It is a job I take very seriously, hence my urgent desire to speak with you about these matters."
I gave him a slight smile. I don't know why. His voice was fluttering as he almost sang his words. I'm sure the ladies found it delightful... I found it irritating as...
"Mssr. Du Mont. I must say I appreciate your candor, and your commitment." It's true, I couldn't fault the man for wanting to do his job. "However, as you can see, I prefer things to be a bit... Simpler than you're used too."
Du Mont made a move to speak, but I raised a hand and cut him off. I had no desire at all to be pandered to with the same thoughts wrapped in different words.
"Where is Henri...?" I asked.
"He has been reassigned, My Lord."
"That much is obvious, even to a King, Mssr. Du Mont. I want to know where he has been reassigned too."
"He is currently guarding the King's stables, Sire." Du Mont had the look of sudden realization. It pleased me to see that he understood the situation. But as I got ready to let him know what he now realized, he spoke quickly:
"If it please my Lord, I can have him brought back to his former post..."
Well give him an 'A' for effort. But not quite what I had in mind.
"I want Henri assigned to me, as my personal guard. And I want the page that was assigned to him as well. They are both to report to me, in this office."
Du Mont held himself for a time, and then nodded. "Yes, my Liege." I will have them report in the morning..."
"Now. You will go yourself, personally. You will tell them, and then you will escort them here. Personally. Make sure nothing happens to them."
"Yes, Sire..." Du Mont cast his gaze downwards, his hands and face belying the many questions and scenarios that had suddenly come to life within him.
"Mssr. Du Mont... Calm yourself. I have no desire to replace you..."
Yet.
"You are a man committed to your task, anyone can see this. Perhaps with time we can do something about all that ceremony I detest so much."
Du Mont straightened up and cleared his head. "Yes, Sire. Thank You."
"Dismissed."
Du Mont went to provide me with the experience of another swooning farewell but stopped. He bowed slightly, tipped his hat and left quickly.
Much better. Du Mont, there's hope for you yet.
My new herald announced the news...:
Another province down, and another attempt by our enemies to get out without losing.
A scant few weeks after he has even more good news:
It's going to hurt, especially if I have to suffer through the Jonas Brothers, but Ferarra will be no more soon.
Ferarra immediately begs for peace, offering 88d and a renouncing of their claim on Modena, but that's not going to cut it boys, sorry.
Oh, and England EXC'd Aragon again.
More good news in May:
One to go... And England... Well you know.
With Ferarra's Navy having no place to go, I find it a good time to exercise mine...:
Bavaria is fighting a hopeless battle and The Palatinate is on the ropes. However things in Naples aren't faring so well. Had I this to do over again, I would have pulled more troops there instead of heading north into the HRE's lands. As it is, I end up losing out on a golden opportunity...
As the rest of the year unfolds, I rack up victories across the board, eliminating the main HRE army and trading tit for tat with the Armies of Naples.
Finally some real news:
The area just north of the Kingdom officially becomes a mop up operation.
The area to the south, not so much:
Ugh. The only hope I have now is the Otts don't take it in the peace deal. The fact they annexed Achea in the same war doesn't make it seem likely though.
At this time, I have no real objectives left in Naples, unless the Otts let go, so even though I continue there, they have no cash and I can't afford the BB to take anything else. All of my BB room is going to go to Ferarra and Bavaria. Brandenburg is a non factor, except that their being rather prickish. They keep sending me demands for peace. I am not giving you money, nor am I turning any vassals loose, so go back to your holes and cry. And shut up and leave me alone while you're at it or I'll come up there and take anything I can get from you.
From the 'Hey Christmas came really early' Dept:
Um... Duh. No choice there but the one that says 'hell yeah...!'
From there it's a really weird stream of pop ups...
England EXC's Aragon; We win the siege of Napoli.
England EXC's Aragon; We win the siege of Franken.
England EXC's Aragon; We win the Siege of Pfalz.
I decide to break up the pattern, just for my own sanity, by making a peace deal with the reigning HRE. Making him a Vassal costs too much, but I do manage a nice deal out of it:
That'll help quite a bit thankyou.
Which is a really good thing, as it turns out. For April Fool's day in 1446, I get a rather nasty event... Monetary Reforms. My choices are gain 3 inflation or lose two STAB. The STAB loss comes with a bonus 4 star MoM, which I could actually use... And the thought of giving back the three inflation I just got rid of a little while ago galls me, so it's the -2 STAB and MoM.
I say good by to my Philosopher, giving him a nice settlement and the nicest fruit basket you've ever seen to thank him for all the luck he brought.
Then I go about setting up the budget now that I can actually afford to dump the rest of this inflation.
And then England did it again. And then, just to break up the monotony she declared a crusade on Algiers. Which works out really nice for her ally Portugal, who happens to be really close to them...
Brandenburg continues to taunt and flaunt, so I hire me a shiny new General, put together an army or three and head north to go ducat hunting.
Should have just shut yer trap when you had the chance.
In September I get my first STAB level back, and I feel all warm and fuzzy about building those Temples.
October starts off with a very welcomed event:
The other option allows for the possibility of 3 BB off, but -2 STAB is one of the possibilities also. I take the safe route and be thankful for even losing one. As it is, I get the 20% chance -2...! It's a happy day as I check my BB and find I am now at 20.08 out of 31.00. That's a clear 8 BB to work with for Ferarra and Bavaria. Almost enough...
I let it ride a little bit and then go ahead with the annex on Ferarra. I could leave her sit, could have vassalized her... But I already have centralization issues coming up with the Papal State and don't want to mess with it. With BB I just have to sit still. With Decentral I get hogtied in budget land coming into workshop season. I'd rather not have to play with the budget.
It isn't long before that last province in Naples falls into my hand. Almost on cue, the Ottomans realize there's nothing more to be had and peace out of their conflict:
What's worse is they took the last 55d Naples had accrued before losing her money making abilities. As I said, nothing here for me now. I wasn't aggressive enough down here, and I payed the price for it.
To add insult to injury, my new mission is "To make Trier vote for us"... Yeah. They only hate me ALOT. That should be easy to make happen. Not. Cancel.
"Improve relations with Genoa". Yeah again...! They only hate me more than Trier does...! Yeah...!
As for Naples, I do the only thing I can do with them. I make them a Vassal. No sense leaving the door open for the Otts to come back. Now if they have any Italian aspirations, they get to deal with me.
February, 1447. My STAB returns to three, and the only battles are on the northern front. By the end of the year, Brandenburg proper and Neumark are mine, and I make Trade Tech Level 7.
As 1448 rolls around, I have Brandenburg firmly in my grasp, her lone army standing in Mecklenburg unable to do anything but watch their lands disappear. As Pottsdam falls on the 2nd of January, my first General retires to the great battle in the sky. He is replaced by my second hire, Luchino "Lucky" Paradisi...
1448 turns out to be a pivotal time for England... They offer me an alliance, which I decline. They have only Portugal with them, and France has alot more. They also annex Scotland...
April sees another 4 Temples built, another 20 off future STAB I know I'll use. After rejecting another ridiculous Brandenburg peace offer, and seeing the Palatinate re elected as HRE, I get news of the of the last province I need to take, Ruppin.
I waste no time, peacing out Brandenburg for a healthy 1,164 ducats, which they accept very quickly.
I then turn my attention to my prizes...:
How sweet it is when they give their seal of approval to the deal...:
I come away with a BB of 27.93... Just under the hard cap.
As I round out the last year, I get a two star Treasurer advisor in Schwaben. Having a ruler with the goods, I decide to trade in my 25 year veteran Government Tech Statesman, as I'm still way ahead of schedule there. He's at the age when you never know, and given what's been available and what's been popping, I feel it's a good time to take that 3% national tax boost now. Granted it's a bit of a gamble, but it's the only place I can afford to lose a guy. His +10 to Production Tech is a help too... I need those workshops.
Having nothing to do, and all kinds of money to do it with, I decide to give the Otts a little present... Or two:
Well, actually I only paid for one... For now.
I also figure while I've got the time, prestige and money I'll set up a Hiring Fair. I even splurge the extra 100 ducats for a government focused fair. I need me a good Diplomat...
Land Tech 7 accompanies a laundry list of veritable useless advisors. Colonial Governors, a High Judge, A 3rd rate Philosopher, A 'Grand' Admiral, An Ambassador, An Army Organizer. The lone double take in the whole lot is a 6 star Philosopher. Were I in better BB straights I may have even taken him, but in the condition I find myself in, I can't take the plunge and watch wistfully out the window as he leaves town.
It turns out it's the last action of the term as the slider icon pops and the clock strikes 1450.
While the Hiring Fair was a bust, I do have a high note to end the session on...
I have cores on both Firenze and München.
Guess who's allied...?
Sounds like a very sweet set up to me. Just have to hope I can get enough BB out of the way to take advantage of it.
State of the Kingdom Address is next.
Till then...!
T
