Warning! This AAR may contain potentially offensive jokes. It is not for the overly serious.
Okay, Clip, let's lay down some ground rules first.
No neet, I have seen the error of my ways.
Uh-huh?
I have converted to Islam.
Then why the bowler hat?
It fits my style. On another note, how did we get in Japan?
Chapter I - Can I Just Call You Clip?
You didn't answer my question, blasthemer.
What?
Tell me what we're doing in Japan, or I put a Muslim curse on you!
Islam doesn't have curses, and I don't know?
Oh yeah? Ya think so?
Mahmoudahmadinejadayatollahalikhamenei osamabinladenlalaltalabani
Clip, that's not a curse, that's you saying Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, Osama Bin Laden, and Jalal Talabani.
You do not know anything about Islam! Atheist heathen!
Let's get on with this...
This is the nation of Japan, in 1836. It is a backwater, uncivilized nation at this time, but I plan on bringing the nation to glory! First, I did some economic reforms-
I put curse on you! Your penis will shrink any second now!
It hasn't.
Not yet it hasn't.
This is the current state of the nation of Japan. We are #96 in the world, and...Sunni?
Hehe.
Clip, how'd you make our nation Sunni?
I found some government documents. I couldn't understand the crazy hyrogliphics-
Kanji.
Yeah. I couldn't understand the Kanji, so I just wrote in big letters "Sunni" somewhere.
Well, atleast you're not writing obscenities on walls.
Yep. Obscenities offend Allah and make baby Mohammad cry.
I don't think you know anything about Islam.
I have deployed several divisions to our armies: the Imperial Wapanese Army in the capital, the Great Northern Army in the North, the Great Southern Army in the South, and the Other Army out somewhere in the Japanese countryside.
Wapanese?
Yeah, I don't get it either.
With our newly beefed up army, we need to decide on a place to conquer once we go from being uncivilized to being civilized. Korea looks like a promising choice, in my opinion.
It looks like a penis. Penis offends Allah!
Clip, I don't think you even know what a penis looks like. Korea looks more like a glove.
It looks like the penis of a leper, like the kind Mohammad healed.
That's Jesus you dumbass.
Aren't they the same?
No, you moron. Tell me, where do you face when you pray?
Towards Pizza Hut?
No. Let's move on.
After years of not spending anything, due to the fact that there's nothing we can spend on, I have amassed enough cash to make a social reform. I have increased unemployment subsidies. Now unemployed Japanese people will receive a bag of rice, courtesy of the government.
Ahh, good, charity is good. Too bad you're still going to Hell.
Uh-huh.
A worker's strike occurs in Japan, and instead of beheading them all, I decided to strike a compromise with them. They received some cash from the government, and went home without bothering anybody. Oh, hey Clip, what's your new psuedonym?
Mohammed Abdel Rahman Abdel Raouf Clip al-Qudwa al-Clippit.
Can I just call you Clip?
Sure.
Okay, Clip, let's lay down some ground rules first.
No neet, I have seen the error of my ways.
Uh-huh?
I have converted to Islam.
Then why the bowler hat?
It fits my style. On another note, how did we get in Japan?
Oh Those Japanese! - A Japanese Adventure
Chapter I - Can I Just Call You Clip?
You didn't answer my question, blasthemer.
What?
Tell me what we're doing in Japan, or I put a Muslim curse on you!
Islam doesn't have curses, and I don't know?
Oh yeah? Ya think so?
Mahmoudahmadinejadayatollahalikhamenei osamabinladenlalaltalabani
Clip, that's not a curse, that's you saying Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, Osama Bin Laden, and Jalal Talabani.
You do not know anything about Islam! Atheist heathen!
Let's get on with this...
This is the nation of Japan, in 1836. It is a backwater, uncivilized nation at this time, but I plan on bringing the nation to glory! First, I did some economic reforms-
I put curse on you! Your penis will shrink any second now!
It hasn't.
Not yet it hasn't.
This is the current state of the nation of Japan. We are #96 in the world, and...Sunni?
Hehe.
Clip, how'd you make our nation Sunni?
I found some government documents. I couldn't understand the crazy hyrogliphics-
Kanji.
Yeah. I couldn't understand the Kanji, so I just wrote in big letters "Sunni" somewhere.
Well, atleast you're not writing obscenities on walls.
Yep. Obscenities offend Allah and make baby Mohammad cry.
I don't think you know anything about Islam.
I have deployed several divisions to our armies: the Imperial Wapanese Army in the capital, the Great Northern Army in the North, the Great Southern Army in the South, and the Other Army out somewhere in the Japanese countryside.
Wapanese?
Yeah, I don't get it either.
With our newly beefed up army, we need to decide on a place to conquer once we go from being uncivilized to being civilized. Korea looks like a promising choice, in my opinion.
It looks like a penis. Penis offends Allah!
Clip, I don't think you even know what a penis looks like. Korea looks more like a glove.
It looks like the penis of a leper, like the kind Mohammad healed.
That's Jesus you dumbass.
Aren't they the same?
No, you moron. Tell me, where do you face when you pray?
Towards Pizza Hut?
No. Let's move on.
After years of not spending anything, due to the fact that there's nothing we can spend on, I have amassed enough cash to make a social reform. I have increased unemployment subsidies. Now unemployed Japanese people will receive a bag of rice, courtesy of the government.
Ahh, good, charity is good. Too bad you're still going to Hell.
Uh-huh.
A worker's strike occurs in Japan, and instead of beheading them all, I decided to strike a compromise with them. They received some cash from the government, and went home without bothering anybody. Oh, hey Clip, what's your new psuedonym?
Mohammed Abdel Rahman Abdel Raouf Clip al-Qudwa al-Clippit.
Can I just call you Clip?
Sure.
