I like this a lot...
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Chapter VI - It's Full of Americans Though
Well, Clip, it looks like things are starting to get boring around here.
Yeah.
But hey, it looks like there's some corrupt aristocrats.
Arrest them and hang them from a telephone pole!
No.
By their balls!
Definately no.
I made a compromise with them.
Allah never compromises. He crushes all who oppose him!
Yeah, sure Clip. We developed a new technology:
The only enlightenement comes from Allah!
Are you still high from our Netherlands trip?
No, I don't even know how we got here.
Moving on-
You mother****er tell me how we got here!!!
Take a chill pill, dude.
You dare tell me to take drugs! Allah will cut your appendix out while you sleep!
I don't need it anyways. And a "chill pill" is a metaphore, Clip - it means shut up and calm down.
Oh, okay.
Moving on now...
We have a nasty gang problem in Japan.
Probably because of those Irish.
There are no Irish in Japan.
Not yet there are no Irish in Japan.
Wow. Your logic is immensely hilarious, Clip.
What comes next is an amazing stroke of luck. In 1870, the Meiji Restoration occurs. Over night, Japan modernizes and rises from it's position as an uncivilized state, to becoming an industrial country. Iron mines are built, and we now have the ability to produce a modern army and invade our neighbors!
Death to heathens!
And Korean girls to the Imperial Palace!
Immoral infadel!
Not this again.
You-
Shut up.
In part of Japan, issues of trade are being debated hotly.
Who shall we invade first, Clip?
An infadel country. How 'bout a nation of pagan non-believers?
I can't invade the world, Clip.
You'd only have to invade the non-Muslim world.
How 'bout that one tiny country in Indonesia? That'll be a good start.
Yeah, go for that.
Then we'll attack Korea. And then, we'll take back the Pacific from the grubby hands of the Americans, and we should definately conquer Hawaii before the Americans get a hold of it.
It's full of Americans though.
Well, Clip, it looks like things are starting to get boring around here.
Yeah.
But hey, it looks like there's some corrupt aristocrats.
Arrest them and hang them from a telephone pole!
No.
By their balls!
Definately no.
I made a compromise with them.
Allah never compromises. He crushes all who oppose him!
Yeah, sure Clip. We developed a new technology:
The only enlightenement comes from Allah!
Are you still high from our Netherlands trip?
No, I don't even know how we got here.
Moving on-
You mother****er tell me how we got here!!!
Take a chill pill, dude.
You dare tell me to take drugs! Allah will cut your appendix out while you sleep!
I don't need it anyways. And a "chill pill" is a metaphore, Clip - it means shut up and calm down.
Oh, okay.
Moving on now...
We have a nasty gang problem in Japan.
Probably because of those Irish.
There are no Irish in Japan.
Not yet there are no Irish in Japan.
Wow. Your logic is immensely hilarious, Clip.
What comes next is an amazing stroke of luck. In 1870, the Meiji Restoration occurs. Over night, Japan modernizes and rises from it's position as an uncivilized state, to becoming an industrial country. Iron mines are built, and we now have the ability to produce a modern army and invade our neighbors!
Death to heathens!
And Korean girls to the Imperial Palace!
Immoral infadel!
Not this again.
You-
Shut up.
In part of Japan, issues of trade are being debated hotly.
Who shall we invade first, Clip?
An infadel country. How 'bout a nation of pagan non-believers?
I can't invade the world, Clip.
You'd only have to invade the non-Muslim world.
How 'bout that one tiny country in Indonesia? That'll be a good start.
Yeah, go for that.
Then we'll attack Korea. And then, we'll take back the Pacific from the grubby hands of the Americans, and we should definately conquer Hawaii before the Americans get a hold of it.
It's full of Americans though.
That restoration does seem quite handy, just restore the Meji and the entire country starts drinking tea with an extended pinky finger and watching the ballet?
Also, when you declare war on them, they pull nine thousand soldiers purely out of their asses. I might be unable to invade until I get more than one boat.
Boats are the transporters of the infidel!!!
Finally, someone agrees with me!
Anybody know why my cement factory doesn't work although I clearly have coal?
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You don't maybe know what you are supposed to do with coal inside a cement factory?
Or Allah forbid cement?
Or Allah forbid cement?
I'm lazy, sorry. I have all the pics...I'll see if I can get the update up today or tomorrow.
Chapter VII - Paperclip Is Not a Race
Now that we have attained our new-found civility, we have decided to launch an expansion campaign. Since we have a horrible army, we have to go with a small, weak nation. Clip and I decided on Bali.
And they have Muslims!
Yeah. So, we conquered them, and the conquest added their tiny population to ours. And-
Yay!
Let me finish.
Okay.
1.1% of the population is now-
@!%# YES! COME TO JAPAN MUSLIM BRETHREN.
Clip, shut up.
Sorry.
We now have Muslims.
Yay! Now I can have some friends when I kill the non-Muslims.
Clip, that'd result in the death of both of us.
No, I'm a Muslim! You'd die and burn in hell.
You're not a Muslim. As I said before, you're an idiot.
Am not!
Doesn't the Koran forbid paper clips from becoming Muslim.
I don't know. Probably.
Anyways, the peasants in one area are debating religious issues.
There is but one true religion!
God is dead!
Up yours.
Let's make a compromise.
No compromise!
I already clicked "religion is a private not political manner."
@!!& you.
In addition to that, minority issues are being highly debated.
They must be assimilated!
All humans have the same rights, Clip.
Allah does not like plurality.
Where in the Koran does Allah forbid plurality?
Iunno.
You're such an idiot, Clip.
Watch your mouth, hethen!
We built a cement factory.
Cool, I get to build a statue of Muhammad al Warraq!
Warraq was a skeptic, Clip.
Oh.
Strangely, the factory is not producing any cement.
We can grind the peasant's bones and make cement out of that. They're all hethens anyways.
No.
We also build a steel factory, which also doesn't work, and an ammunition factory. Oddly enough, the ammunition factory is the only one that works.
Allah has cursed your factories!
Except the ammunition one?
Allah likes war.
Since you're a Muslim, you should know that one of the names for Allah is As-Salām.
So?
It means "the source of peace and safety."
So?
So, it means you're a dumbass.
No, it means you are! You should know that Muslims are immune to logic and reason!
Paper clips are immune to logic and reason. Muslims aren't.
Don't insult my race, bro!
Paperclip is not a race.
Oh.
Now that we have attained our new-found civility, we have decided to launch an expansion campaign. Since we have a horrible army, we have to go with a small, weak nation. Clip and I decided on Bali.
And they have Muslims!
Yeah. So, we conquered them, and the conquest added their tiny population to ours. And-
Yay!
Let me finish.
Okay.
1.1% of the population is now-
@!%# YES! COME TO JAPAN MUSLIM BRETHREN.
Clip, shut up.
Sorry.
We now have Muslims.
Yay! Now I can have some friends when I kill the non-Muslims.
Clip, that'd result in the death of both of us.
No, I'm a Muslim! You'd die and burn in hell.
You're not a Muslim. As I said before, you're an idiot.
Am not!
Doesn't the Koran forbid paper clips from becoming Muslim.
I don't know. Probably.
Anyways, the peasants in one area are debating religious issues.
There is but one true religion!
God is dead!
Up yours.
Let's make a compromise.
No compromise!
I already clicked "religion is a private not political manner."
@!!& you.
In addition to that, minority issues are being highly debated.
They must be assimilated!
All humans have the same rights, Clip.
Allah does not like plurality.
Where in the Koran does Allah forbid plurality?
Iunno.
You're such an idiot, Clip.
Watch your mouth, hethen!
We built a cement factory.
Cool, I get to build a statue of Muhammad al Warraq!
Warraq was a skeptic, Clip.
Oh.
Strangely, the factory is not producing any cement.
We can grind the peasant's bones and make cement out of that. They're all hethens anyways.
No.
We also build a steel factory, which also doesn't work, and an ammunition factory. Oddly enough, the ammunition factory is the only one that works.
Allah has cursed your factories!
Except the ammunition one?
Allah likes war.
Since you're a Muslim, you should know that one of the names for Allah is As-Salām.
So?
It means "the source of peace and safety."
So?
So, it means you're a dumbass.
No, it means you are! You should know that Muslims are immune to logic and reason!
Paper clips are immune to logic and reason. Muslims aren't.
Don't insult my race, bro!
Paperclip is not a race.
Oh.
"No, it means you are! You should know that Muslims are immune to logic and reason!"
:rofl:
:rofl:
Ha! this is great, please keep it up and consider me subscribed...
also, I've named you Writer of the Week over here, so come by and say a few words
also, I've named you Writer of the Week over here, so come by and say a few words
Well, the Office Logo assistant guy might make a cameo appearance, as a sort of personification of God. That's later though - I won't spoil the ending for you, xD.