Is there no area in which Clip can't display gross ignorance and complete lack of understanding?
Yeah, no area at all
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Yeah, no area at all
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Chapter III - And You're Still Going To Hell
The Dutch have sent us an envoy with a present for us.
I hope it's gingerbread cookies!
No, it's not Clip. It's a letter.
Well, let's open it. Maybe they sent us a check.
Or maybe the queen sent us naked pictures.
Immoral heathen!
What?
By the way, how'd your vacation of immorality go?
I didn't go.
You're still going to hell.
Not this @!&# again.
The Dutch have offered us assistance. With one option, we can become technologically advanced enough to invade all of Asia, but we'd be the Netherland's bitch. With the other option, they'd just help out a tiny bit, and we'd be able to make some technological advances.
We will not bow to infadels!
That's why I picked the second option, and it led us to discover a new technology:
Yay I get my own theme park! I'll call it "Muslimland" and one ride will show children what happens when they piss off Allah.
No.
And who the hell are you to tell me what I can't do?
I'm the Emperor of Japan. People worship me as a God.
Blasthemer!
Thank you.
And how did you become Emperor?
I dunno.
In other news, across the sea, the British have decided that they want their thirteen colonies back:
Oh I love seeing nonbelievers fighting eachother!
Clip, I don't think you've even read the Koran.
It's Qur'an, dumbass.
It's transliterated as Koran, and the people are revolting!
Revolting indeed. I heard Japanese women don't shave their-
I know, Clip.
The army stationed in the province successfully defeats the rebels. They are then-
Beheaded?
No.
Months later, we are able to complete work on a new technology: flintlock rifles. This will certainly allow us to create a modern army. We are on the road to trampling all over Korea and China.
On another note, it seems like the Brits and Chinese have been at war forever. And also, the Free Soil Party won in the US elections...odd.
We are at war with Eastasia, we have always been at war with Eastasia.
Thank you Clip for saying something intelligent for a change.
You're still going to hell.
The Dutch have sent us an envoy with a present for us.
I hope it's gingerbread cookies!
No, it's not Clip. It's a letter.
Well, let's open it. Maybe they sent us a check.
Or maybe the queen sent us naked pictures.
Immoral heathen!
What?
By the way, how'd your vacation of immorality go?
I didn't go.
You're still going to hell.
Not this @!&# again.
The Dutch have offered us assistance. With one option, we can become technologically advanced enough to invade all of Asia, but we'd be the Netherland's bitch. With the other option, they'd just help out a tiny bit, and we'd be able to make some technological advances.
We will not bow to infadels!
That's why I picked the second option, and it led us to discover a new technology:
Yay I get my own theme park! I'll call it "Muslimland" and one ride will show children what happens when they piss off Allah.
No.
And who the hell are you to tell me what I can't do?
I'm the Emperor of Japan. People worship me as a God.
Blasthemer!
Thank you.
And how did you become Emperor?
I dunno.
In other news, across the sea, the British have decided that they want their thirteen colonies back:
Oh I love seeing nonbelievers fighting eachother!
Clip, I don't think you've even read the Koran.
It's Qur'an, dumbass.
It's transliterated as Koran, and the people are revolting!
Revolting indeed. I heard Japanese women don't shave their-
I know, Clip.
The army stationed in the province successfully defeats the rebels. They are then-
Beheaded?
No.
Months later, we are able to complete work on a new technology: flintlock rifles. This will certainly allow us to create a modern army. We are on the road to trampling all over Korea and China.
On another note, it seems like the Brits and Chinese have been at war forever. And also, the Free Soil Party won in the US elections...odd.
We are at war with Eastasia, we have always been at war with Eastasia.
Thank you Clip for saying something intelligent for a change.
You're still going to hell.
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Where it not for his lack of knowledge, ill-informed religious fervour, rudeness, strategic idiocy and general annoyance clip would be an excellent advisor.
However he makes up for all those problems by being hilarious so I'll let it pass.
However he makes up for all those problems by being hilarious so I'll let it pass.
However he makes up for all those problems by being hilarious so I'll let it pass.
And we love every minute of it! EDIT: Post 1,700, yay me!
General here I come! 
Clip will be happy when he get's his chance to conquer the lands of the infidels and Emperor FallenMorgan will be happy when more Asians worship him as a god.
But it seems that for some odd reason people of Sendai don't like the idea. It's good that there were soldiers around who by disciplining them did show them the error of their ways.
But it seems that for some odd reason people of Sendai don't like the idea. It's good that there were soldiers around who by disciplining them did show them the error of their ways.
Chapter IV - Kill Them In Their Sleep
Three of our military leaders have died, all within only seconds of eachother.
Allah's punishment is swift.
The United States has colonized an island chain close to our waters - a colony which we had our eyes on.
And they filled the island with a bunch of smelly Irish!
What's wrong with the Irish?
They're a bunch of drunkards! Alcohol makes baby Mohammad cry.
My girlfriend is part Irish.
Explains why she's a whore.
She isn't a whore, you bastard.
Devil-worshipper!
Bitch.
You say profanity! Profanity pisses off Allah!
Uh-huh.
The US meddling in Japanese politics has caused strife in Japan. This directly leads to an insurrection in the north.
Kill them all and then hang them by the balls!
Eww.
And then behead them.
No. Wailing the crap out of them and then asking them to surrender and return to the fields would suffice.
Can we kill them in their sleep?
No.
Three of our military leaders have died, all within only seconds of eachother.
Allah's punishment is swift.
The United States has colonized an island chain close to our waters - a colony which we had our eyes on.
And they filled the island with a bunch of smelly Irish!
What's wrong with the Irish?
They're a bunch of drunkards! Alcohol makes baby Mohammad cry.
My girlfriend is part Irish.
Explains why she's a whore.
She isn't a whore, you bastard.
Devil-worshipper!
Bitch.
You say profanity! Profanity pisses off Allah!
Uh-huh.
The US meddling in Japanese politics has caused strife in Japan. This directly leads to an insurrection in the north.
Kill them all and then hang them by the balls!
Eww.
And then behead them.
No. Wailing the crap out of them and then asking them to surrender and return to the fields would suffice.
Can we kill them in their sleep?
No.
You do have to wonder how Mullah Clip keeps his job when all he does is insult his boss and everything he holds dear.
In game related observations Japan is looking rebeltastic, which I'm guessing is probably a bad thing. Though not being a Vicki player I've no idea how much of a bad thing.
In game related observations Japan is looking rebeltastic, which I'm guessing is probably a bad thing. Though not being a Vicki player I've no idea how much of a bad thing.
Chapter V - Gah! Freedom!
We have completed research on a new technology. Or actually, it's more of an idea. Odd how long it took to figure it out.
Gah! Freedom!
What, Clip?
Allah does not approve of freedom.
I don't think Allah would disapprove of freedom, Clip.
I'm a Muslim. We don't believe in freedom.
You're not a Muslim.
What am I then?
You're a dumbass.
Watch your mouth, heathen!
I'd prefer not to.
I have initiated a few more reforms. I have increased healthcare benefits, and I have allowed non-state run newspapers, although, with some censorship.
Censor all that offends Allah!
Most of the country is Buddhist, Clip.
Kill the heathens!
That'd just leave you and me.
No. It'd just leave me.
What would you do with a whole country with nobody but yourself?
Invite some Muslims for a sleepover.
A sleepover?
Yes, we'll watch a movie, drink soda, and maybe I'll even bake some cookies.
Uh-huh. Clip, has all this time-travelling screwed with your brain?
No.
Let's move on then. A major worker's strike has occured in our country!
We gave in to their demands.
Boo, dissent. Allah dissaproves of dissent.
Jesus was a dissenter.
Muslims do not believe in Jesus.
Actually Clip, they do.
Prove it!
You probably haven't read the Koran-
Qur'an.
Have you read it, then?
No.
I rest my case.
Despite our reforms, we are still just behind China when it comes to international rankings. Once we conquer Korea and get ourselves a modern army, we will surpass them in greatness.
Plus, they are heathens and we are followers of Islam!
Correction - you are, the rest of us are "heathens."
Shut up infadel!
You shut up.
Why don't you?
Isn't it time for you to pray to Pizza Hut?
I guess so.
The Confederacy has declared it's independence from the United States of America. We have attempted to allign ourselves with them as much as possible, so that maybe while the US is distracted, we can retake the Pacific islands. Only problem is, our navy consists of one boat and a Redbull, and we have no guns.
But doesn't Redbull give you wings? We don't need a navy!
We have a Redbull. Singular.
We could always just give our soldiers a ton of caffine, that'll work.
Or it'll kill them.
True.
Anyways, the CSA gets it's ass kicked by the USA, but it maintains it's independence. Strangely, Lincoln wasn't shot, yet Jackson is President.
That's what happens to heathens.
...okay.
We have completed research on a new technology. Or actually, it's more of an idea. Odd how long it took to figure it out.
Gah! Freedom!
What, Clip?
Allah does not approve of freedom.
I don't think Allah would disapprove of freedom, Clip.
I'm a Muslim. We don't believe in freedom.
You're not a Muslim.
What am I then?
You're a dumbass.
Watch your mouth, heathen!
I'd prefer not to.
I have initiated a few more reforms. I have increased healthcare benefits, and I have allowed non-state run newspapers, although, with some censorship.
Censor all that offends Allah!
Most of the country is Buddhist, Clip.
Kill the heathens!
That'd just leave you and me.
No. It'd just leave me.
What would you do with a whole country with nobody but yourself?
Invite some Muslims for a sleepover.
A sleepover?
Yes, we'll watch a movie, drink soda, and maybe I'll even bake some cookies.
Uh-huh. Clip, has all this time-travelling screwed with your brain?
No.
Let's move on then. A major worker's strike has occured in our country!
We gave in to their demands.
Boo, dissent. Allah dissaproves of dissent.
Jesus was a dissenter.
Muslims do not believe in Jesus.
Actually Clip, they do.
Prove it!
You probably haven't read the Koran-
Qur'an.
Have you read it, then?
No.
I rest my case.
Despite our reforms, we are still just behind China when it comes to international rankings. Once we conquer Korea and get ourselves a modern army, we will surpass them in greatness.
Plus, they are heathens and we are followers of Islam!
Correction - you are, the rest of us are "heathens."
Shut up infadel!
You shut up.
Why don't you?
Isn't it time for you to pray to Pizza Hut?
I guess so.
The Confederacy has declared it's independence from the United States of America. We have attempted to allign ourselves with them as much as possible, so that maybe while the US is distracted, we can retake the Pacific islands. Only problem is, our navy consists of one boat and a Redbull, and we have no guns.
But doesn't Redbull give you wings? We don't need a navy!
We have a Redbull. Singular.
We could always just give our soldiers a ton of caffine, that'll work.
Or it'll kill them.
True.
Anyways, the CSA gets it's ass kicked by the USA, but it maintains it's independence. Strangely, Lincoln wasn't shot, yet Jackson is President.
That's what happens to heathens.
...okay.
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Funny stuff, sir, Clip's continuing devotion to Allah despite never reading the Kor.. I mean Qu'ran is astounding!
Ahh clip, continuing his epic quest to be both the worst Muslim and the worst advisor in history.
That just cracked me up I must confess.
That just cracked me up I must confess.