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jacobweller

Second Lieutenant
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Jul 12, 2016
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kingdomofnetherlands.gif


Noobs in Orange - A Noobish Netherlands AAR


Hello! Welcome to my first AAR, as the Netherlands. I do not actually own Victoria 2, so my good friend, @kaydesmith will be playing the game, sending me screenshots, so I can write the AAR.
This thread will probably go a bit inactive will low amounts of updates when school picks up. but until then, they should be at least 1 a week.

GOALS:
Achieve Great Power status - COMPLETE!
Annex Belgium - COMPLETE!
Annex Luxembourg - COMPLETE!
Gain colonies in the Scramble for Africa - ONGOING
Be the leading power in South East Asia - ONGOING
I will probably add more as we go along in time.
 
Last edited:
Rightio people, I am the gameplayer here. Please try your best to bear with me as I attempt to stumble my way through Victoria 2, with all DLC and the Pop Demand Mod. The first update should be up soon if Jacob wants to write it.
 
CHAPTER 1​
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Glorious Leader Willem gazed at the map of his clay. Orange would suit Europe. It is a very flattering colour. His Foreign Advisor was gabbling on about it, but Willem could only hear so much. "To our south we have our weak neighbours in Belgium, and our underlings in Luxembourg. Nearby powers include Prussia, France, and Great Britain, so we need to be very careful about whom we annoy."
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"Much more impressive is our main colony in Indonesia. The area is full of uncivilised nations, who are ripe for imperialistic gains. Apart from the Spanish Phillipines, Britain in Australia, and Portugal's occasional province, we are the sole nation in the region. We stand a good chance at taking the majority of the region." Willem liked the idea of that. Spreading Orange Imperialism across the world. Or maybe it is Tangerine. Tangerine Imperialism? Willem could not decide. He dismissed his Foreign Advisor for the moment, only to have him replaced by his Science Advisor.
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"Sir, this is our tech so far."
"Where are the nukes?"
"The what?"
"The NUKES! The big bombs that make a mushroom cloud! The big kaboom!"
"Willem, did you take your medication today?"
"Of course I did! I want NUKES!"
"Will you settle for muzzle-loaded rifles?'
"FINE! NOW GET OUT OF HERE!"
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Willem, in his infinite wisdom, orchestrated a change in government to suit his nukey, war-filled plans. Whatever they are. Maybe the voices in his head will tell us something. But probably not.
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Willem also decided to offer the United Kingdom protection in the form of an Alliance. At least, that is how he thinks it works.
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A strong economy is essential for any budding warmonger, with the Netherlands being no exception. Because more money means more guns, and more guns means more orange/tangerine. Or something like that.
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Apparently the Dutch Royal Family loves Denmark.
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The Dutch Republic declares war on Siak, a primitive nation on the island of Sumatra.
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A decisive battle wipes out the entire enemy army of 6000, with only 61 casualties for the Netherlands.
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Siak eventually accepts their orangey fate.
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With his bloodlust not satisfied by the sacrifice of a small Indonesian nation, Glorious Leader declares war on the even smaller, more irrelevant nation of Bali. Which is not full of Australian tourists. Yet.
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The Prussian government offered an alliance in the spring of 1837. Which was naturally accepted.
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On the same day that the government accepted the alliance with Prussia, they issued an official declaration of war against Belgium, citing "Restoration of Order" as the Casus Belli.
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After the British side with the Belgians, the Prussians, eager to impress their new ally, join the Netherlands. This will be a close fight.
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After a rather short siege, the Dutch control Brussels, which opens the front up even further. As you can see, the Belgians occupy Middelburg, and the Prussians occupy Spa.
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Just as things were going so well, while the army was on the other side of the planet, rebels rise up in Java. Apparently they are unhappy with being a forgotten oppressed minority. Not sure why.
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As if one was not bad enough. Now there are Liberals running rampant around the East Indies, as well as the motherland. Rebels, rebels everywhere. (Fun Fact: Kayde considered restarting here)
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The main rebel doomstack in all it's glory, currently rampaging it's way across the mother country.
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In light of all this, the government, and Willem, believe now is the time to give the unwashed masses some rights. But it is too little, much too late.
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First the Javanese enforce their demands, with the Dutch losing a large chunk of the East Indies.
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A bit of good news, with one war finished. Thats nice, I guess.
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With Belgium having no say in their annexation, the British agree to the peace treaty. Now, to focus on the rebel hordes. Filthy liberals.
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Oops. What I meant to say was, I for one welcome our new liberal overlords. The Liberals let Willem live on, but with next to no power. He will now be known as "Slightly Less Glorious Leader".
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The Spanish offer an alliance in 1838. The new government accept.
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The revolution had inherited quite the deficit, after 3 wars, and 2 revolutions. They set about trying to remedy the situation, with reasonable success. (see below)
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In 1840, the government host the Grand Exhibition, to show that the Netherlands can into relevance.
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The same year, they host a National Conference for the budding scientists of the Dutch Republic.

END
That is the first chapter! Any advice is appreciated!
 
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Reactions:
That was.... really nice actually. Really well written. And yes, those damned rebellions almost made me consider restarting, but what's an AAR without it's failures? I'll get right back into noobing ASAP.

Edit: I am lightly chuckling to myself as I read this. Jacob I love you.
 
reconquer South Africa (Subbed)
 
cpm4001 - thanks mate
guillec87- Zuid-Afrika may be a hard target, but we will try!
ImperatorGuigui- We'll see what happens. I have no real plans for who I'm putting in power, but anarcho liberals and commies would kill our Glorious King!
 
Nice work with the Dutch so far. One of my favorite nations to play in EUIV, Vic 2, even HoI. Can't wait to see you go forward from here.

Cheers!
 
CHAPTER 2
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The Liberal government order an election, with the Conservatives taking power. Makes sense.
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After a rather lengthy period of peace, Tangerine Imperialism is re-engaged, this time in Siam. Stupid elephants.
Around this time, Willem I believes that he has made the Netherlands great again, and as such pops his clogs. His son, Willem II, will be known as Slightly Less Great Leader Jr.
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The great scientists of Orangeland work out how to trick people into willingly paying more tax.
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They also decide to research Medicine for the extra supply limit. Helpful in the jungles of South East Asia.
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The Dutch Army successfully siege Bangkok, the capital of Siam. A great triumph in the eyes of Slightly Less Glorious Leader.
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The Dutch Army beat the inferior Siamese Army. I wonder if they used cats, or twins.
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In the hopes of speeding up the war, the government ask the Spanish to join. They, of course, accept.
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The Dutch Fleet, under the lead of Admiral de Houtman, do battle with the boats of Siam.
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Shown here is the victory against Siam, and the decision by the regime to open penal colonies.
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Siam is now a protectorate of the Tangerine Empire, which should be lead by Donald Trump.
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Not happy with just owning South East Asia, the government declare war on Oyo, beginning what many will come to call the 'Scramble for Africa'
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An Expeditionary Force of over 20,000 men do battle with the Oyoan army in Ife.
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Naturally, we win.
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After the capital is occupied, the army moves to take the port.
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Slightly Less Glorious Leader would be proud. But not too proud. They are not as good as nukes.
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After doing what they could in Oyo, the army moves south to beat the living daylights out of more Africans in need of tangerineness.
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With medicine finished, scientists receive a message from above stating they should build a train. Scientists are baffled as they try to explain this.
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One of Oyo's allies are annexed. Good.
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And another one bites the dust.
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Apparently bafflement is good, as scientists discover Anesthesia, and Pharmaceuticals.
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Finally, Oyo embraces the beautiful colour of Tangerine.
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With the election over, the conservatives remain in power. And this ends the Second Chapter! Please, give me advice! I have no clue what I am doing.
 
keep those Colinialist war up!
 
CHAPTER 3​
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We start the chapter with a gained CB against Benin, to force them to accept our protection.
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We immediately press this, by declaring war. Really, they deserved it. They were guilty of the heinous crime of not being orange.
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We are officially a Great Power, and we have trains, which is good. I like trains.
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The government mandate that scientists will find Military Plans, or else. Very scary indeed.
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The Army with a Nation offer us an alliance. We accept, in order to extend our orangy protection over them.
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Calabar accept their annexation. Good for them.
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A crisis occurs over the return of Thessalia to Greece. It is of no importance to us. Just like us, the rest of the lesser great powers decide that Greece and Turkey aren't worth their hard earned pounds.
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Those yellow giants in Spain ask us for protection.
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We gain influence over those backward people in Ethiopia. Yay, I guess.
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We discover Military Plans, to help us in our future wars. Forwards, armies of Orange!
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They now start research on Late Classical Theory.
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We annex Dahomey and Benin. Great.
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Glorious Leader Jr. goes on a whistle stop tour of the country, to raise morale among the commoners
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After the tour, Willem Jr. declares war on Sokoto.
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Spain also declares war on Sokoto. They are so dead.
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Those stinky baguettes do what they do best. -Surrender- Fall to revolution. Scrubs.
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We beat the Sokotan? Sokotoan? Either way, we won a massive battle.
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With the discovery of Late Classical Theory, they research Army Professionalism. After all, you cannot spread Tangerines without a civilised army.
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Apparently the filthy commoners want to vote. Can't see why.
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The government decide to make the voting system proportional. Good for them.
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Somehow, the Liberals win the election. Damn it.
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Liberal supporters rejoice over it.
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Apparently, the First Minister is Albert Einstein.
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Finally, we end with an update on the war progress. We are winning, of course.
 
I like trains too! and it seems Einstein foud his way through a wormhole
 
Nice strategic alliance with Spain, and getting a far leg up for the Scramble for Africa. Ah, you're showing why the Dutch are just so fun to play with. :)
 
CHAPTER 3​
We start this chapter with some good news and some bad news.
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The war against Sokoto was won, and WIllem II dies of shock. He will be remembered as that guy who won a war against some Africans.
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We accept the offer, and our name looks bigger, which, of course, is the aim of this game.
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The parliament officially outlaw Slavery. Yay, I guess.
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Scientists now devote their existence to researching 'Private Bank Money Bill Printing', which Willem III seemed to think the state needed.
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Upon realising how boring peace is, Willem invaded Sulawesi, deciding they would look great on a Dutch tourism campaign.
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The Sulawesan? Sulawesian? army was defeated quite soundly in Bone.
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A crisis emerges over Polish independence from Russia. Not that we care. As long as they don't make it to space.
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Austria and the Two Sicilies support Poland, while France supports Russia.
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Unable to settle it peacefully, the two sides go to war.
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Spain comes to the rescue in Sulawesi, where our army is outnumbered.
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Kalimantan surrenders, and we gain a province.
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Sulu surrenders, and we gain another province. So much surrendering, they are almost French.
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Someone else surrenders (@kaydesmith cannot remember who. Thanks, Kayde.)
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The progress of the crisis war. The Eastern Front is a patchwork of Austrian occupation, and Russian occupation. Meanwhile, France takes the opportunity to wreck the Austrian Homeland. Great job France.
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Research begins on Ideological Thought.
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Sulawesi is successfully annexed!
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Not content with Nigeria, Willem decides to expand further into the Congo.
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A small army is stomped out with casualties of almost 9:1, favouring us, of course.
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The Conservative Party returns triumphantly back to power.
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Our First Minister is almost as inbred as Charles II von Habsburg. Just look at those stats.
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Loango is annexed under the great Tangerine.
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The Invasion of Kongo commences, under the name of 'Operation Enduring Tangerines'
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We defeat a Kongolese army.
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They surrender, with us taking North Angola. Now we have 2 colonies, separate from each other by an uncivilised nation. Can't wait for that truce timer to expire.
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We gain the province of Mbanza. It sounded like we were getting a lot more when we asked for it.
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We host a Lavish Exhibition. Sounds fun!
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Also hosted is the National Conference, which sounds, and is, pretty boring. You can tell which one I am going to!
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We rename our Colonial African Fleet to what Google Translate tells me is African Fleet.
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Our European Fleet is now called exactly that.
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Same goes for the Indonesian Fleet.
END

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So that is the end of that update, it seems that Willem III is quite the warmonger. I will ask @kaydesmith for a world map to post.
 
a map of the Dutch Empire pleaseeeee! :D
 
Any Paradox Timeline world looks good painted Orange no matter the centuries! :)