Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhere's William!
WARNING: The following post contains excessive use of the word “E” and should be read with appropriate discretion. The author assumes no responsibility from any mishaps that may result from reading this post. Reader discretion is advised.
“Hey Bob! You got a minute?”
Doug(a.k.a the Devil) walks into the Room of Judgment™ and asks Bob.
“Sure, Doug. What do you need?”
Doug smiled, and patted Bob on the back.
“Buddy! We just got a new batch of suicides in. You have some free time?”
Bob smiled wickedly. He loved suicides. They could be so much fun!
“Of course I do! But we really ought to include Cybil in the fun, shouldn’t we?”
Doug laughed a loud, raucous laugh, and looking to the heavens, shouted out:
Hey Cy! Get yer ass down here, will ya?!”
Bob laughed inwardly. There were only two people in the Universe who could call God Cy and not be smote down. Doug, and himself. Bob knew that Cy would absolutely thunder on down to kick Doug’s ass. Just for the hell of it.
Cybil(a.k.a God) appears followed by a violent thunderclap. She points a finger at Doug, and he dematerializes. A few seconds later he rematerializes, and laughs out loud.
“Ah Cy! I love it when you do that! Clears the pores right up, it does!”
Cybil looked furiously from Doug to Bob and back to Doug. Then she laughed out loud.
“You old bastard! You couldn’t clear your pores if you tore each one from your form! What do you want?”
Doug smiled evilly, and Bob tried to suppress his snicker. He could not. He burst into laughter, falling on the ground and rolling around, in one place, like some Ferris wheel that had fallen on the ground, and made some strange “whoo oo oo whoo!” sounds as it turned round and round. Doug and Cybil looked at Bob, and after a few minutes of Bob’s antics, he stopped, and brushed himself off as he got up.
“Yeah…I have a surprise for you, Cy. Guess what came in just recently?”
Cybil smiled. She loved these guessing games. Stretched her mind.
“Cows!”
“Nope.”
“Aardvarks!”
“Nope.”
“Unitarians!”
“Not today.”
“Wlak!”
“Nope.”
“Sycophants!”
“Nope, give up?”
“If it isn’t Unitarians, sycophants or aardvarks, then I give in. What is it?”
Doug and Bob smiled, and both spoke at the same time.
“Suicides!”
“Suicides!”
Cybil laughed.
“So, we get to play with them, do we?”
“Yep.”
“Yep!”
“Excellent! So, Bob? Doug? What do you say we bring the first suicide in?”
Bob and Doug stepped to the side as a young man with a hole in his head appeared before them. He had shot himself in the head. Simple, eh?
Bob, Doug and Cybil all stood in front of the man, and it was Bob who spoke first. His words rolled off his tongue like a thousand cannons.
“ You have been brought here to prove your worth!”
It was Doug’s turn next. He spoke, and it seemed as if the dread winter winds came from his mouth.
“You have but one chance to save yourself! Redemption is but a stone’s throw away! Do you accept the challenge?!”
The man nodded mutely. He was too terrified to speak.
Cybil was last, and her words were soothing, like the gentle words of a loved mother.
“Be not afraid. We wish to give you the chance to ascend to Heaven™. If you can complete the challenge, you will have your suicide expunged from your record, and allowed into Heaven™. Tell me, son. Do you accept?”
The man seemed to take comfort from Cybil, and answered.
“Yes. Yes, I will try.”
All three entities smiled wickedly to themselves and then Cybil turned back to the man, and spoke thusly:
“If you are brave, honest and true,
You will take what I ask of you.
Be not afraid, be always kind.
Do what we bid, and out of this bind,
Shall you be freed, ever happily.
If you can tell us why,
We should not abandon thee,
Without ever using the letter ‘e’”
The man stood dumbfound for a second. He them managed to stammer out:
“Um! I am a real good…guy. I did not…want to…shoot…towards my…position. I…”
Cybil laughed, and spoke.
“Oh, poor mortal, you have failed, and now I sentence you to eternal jail!”
The man tried to speak.
“But I never used the letter…”
Doug chimed in.
“You will!”
Cybil pulled a switch that had magically appeared beside her. The place where the man was standing opened up, as though a trapdoor was there. He screamed out as he fell:
“Aieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…gasp…eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…huh, huh,hoo…eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…gasp, gasp…eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…When will this damn fall end?!
…gasp, gasp, gasp, gasp…Aieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…Ah crap! I hate this!…Aieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…
The screaming continued for so long, Cybil, Doug and Bob all had to laugh out loud. They stood by the trapdoor, and could still here the man screaming…
…Aieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…damn!…Aieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…double damn!..Aieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee….
Slam!
The trapdoor slammed shut, and Cybil, Bob and Doug all got ready for the next suicide.[/I]
William, Mario and Luigi had set themselves up rather nicely at the monastery in the Carpathian Mountains. William had been given access to the library of the monastery, and William had found a very interesting bit of information about the “Followers of the Void” in a book by a Roman Historian, Numbassius. It was from the 2nd century AD, and contained perhaps the most pertinent information William had read so far.
“The ancients had always known that in some areas of Africa, there were practices that were considered somewhat less than civilized. In particular, there were reports that one of Hannibal’s generals, a Simian Deguts, was one of these so-called ‘Followers of the Void’ and after Hannibal’s defeat in Carthage, Simian was tortured until he confessed his beliefs. He would not say who the so-called ‘Dark One’ was, or what exactly the ‘Void’ was. He would only say that Followers had to follow a strict set of rules, and could only celebrate the ‘Dark One’ on certain days, at certain times. He listed a set of dates and times, which the interrogators dutifully noted down. Which I have listed in the appendices.See Followers
When a patrol was sent out to observe and note down what this rituals contained, tragedy struck. The three soldiers who had interrogated Simian were struck down by a strange and mysterious ague which infected only them. No other solider was affected by it. As well, the families of the soldiers who had interrogated Simian were killed off in horribly painful, gruesome ways.
The scouts who were sent out all were killed in a very strange, very common Elephant stampede. The whole issue of who and what the ‘Followers of the Void’ were was abandoned, and it was only though my careful study of a centurion’s diary that I was even able to discover this very strange event. I ascertained that whoever and whatever this ‘Dark One’ was, it had been responsible for placing a curse upon the heads of those who had tried to discover anything about it. The reader may ask himself why I am so brash as to try and search for answers where none have been found before, and I say this. I do not worry about curses. They are for others. Not I! I am immune to curses. I will…never…be…c…u…r…s…e…d…”
William noted that thee last few lines were scrawled, as if written by a man who is slowly dying. He looked at the appendices, and noted that all of the confessions of Simian Deguts had placed the rituals in Al Djazair, which was now a part of Algiers. William also noted that the dates and times, when converted into the current system, showed that the next set of rituals would occur in 1525. August 17th, at 9:07 PM, local time. An eclipse would occur at that time, and the “Followers of the Void” would make themselves known, and say prayers to the “Dark One”. William cursed. He needed to know more. He got up, and slapped Mario and Luigi in the face. Mario was singing a very annoying song, and Luigi was snoring so loudly that there was a very real possibility of bringing down the roof on top of them.
“You asses! Stop that! Mario! Stop singing! Or I will be forced to cut out your tongue, remove your powers of speech! You! Luigi! Stop snoring, or I will cut off your nose and shove it so far up your ass, all you will smell from now on is shit morning, noon and night! Do you both ‘get’ me?!”
Mario and Luigi both sat up straight, and stopped singing and snoring. They had never seen William like this. It was a rude awakening for both of them. They grabbed books, and actually started to do their jobs! Can you imagine? Actually looking for references to the Comfy Chair, the “Dark One” and the “Followers of the Void”. Wow!
WARNING: The following post contains excessive use of the word “E” and should be read with appropriate discretion. The author assumes no responsibility from any mishaps that may result from reading this post. Reader discretion is advised.
“Hey Bob! You got a minute?”
Doug(a.k.a the Devil) walks into the Room of Judgment™ and asks Bob.
“Sure, Doug. What do you need?”
Doug smiled, and patted Bob on the back.
“Buddy! We just got a new batch of suicides in. You have some free time?”
Bob smiled wickedly. He loved suicides. They could be so much fun!
“Of course I do! But we really ought to include Cybil in the fun, shouldn’t we?”
Doug laughed a loud, raucous laugh, and looking to the heavens, shouted out:
Hey Cy! Get yer ass down here, will ya?!”
Bob laughed inwardly. There were only two people in the Universe who could call God Cy and not be smote down. Doug, and himself. Bob knew that Cy would absolutely thunder on down to kick Doug’s ass. Just for the hell of it.
Cybil(a.k.a God) appears followed by a violent thunderclap. She points a finger at Doug, and he dematerializes. A few seconds later he rematerializes, and laughs out loud.
“Ah Cy! I love it when you do that! Clears the pores right up, it does!”
Cybil looked furiously from Doug to Bob and back to Doug. Then she laughed out loud.
“You old bastard! You couldn’t clear your pores if you tore each one from your form! What do you want?”
Doug smiled evilly, and Bob tried to suppress his snicker. He could not. He burst into laughter, falling on the ground and rolling around, in one place, like some Ferris wheel that had fallen on the ground, and made some strange “whoo oo oo whoo!” sounds as it turned round and round. Doug and Cybil looked at Bob, and after a few minutes of Bob’s antics, he stopped, and brushed himself off as he got up.
“Yeah…I have a surprise for you, Cy. Guess what came in just recently?”
Cybil smiled. She loved these guessing games. Stretched her mind.
“Cows!”
“Nope.”
“Aardvarks!”
“Nope.”
“Unitarians!”
“Not today.”
“Wlak!”
“Nope.”
“Sycophants!”
“Nope, give up?”
“If it isn’t Unitarians, sycophants or aardvarks, then I give in. What is it?”
Doug and Bob smiled, and both spoke at the same time.
“Suicides!”
“Suicides!”
Cybil laughed.
“So, we get to play with them, do we?”
“Yep.”
“Yep!”
“Excellent! So, Bob? Doug? What do you say we bring the first suicide in?”
Bob and Doug stepped to the side as a young man with a hole in his head appeared before them. He had shot himself in the head. Simple, eh?
Bob, Doug and Cybil all stood in front of the man, and it was Bob who spoke first. His words rolled off his tongue like a thousand cannons.
“ You have been brought here to prove your worth!”
It was Doug’s turn next. He spoke, and it seemed as if the dread winter winds came from his mouth.
“You have but one chance to save yourself! Redemption is but a stone’s throw away! Do you accept the challenge?!”
The man nodded mutely. He was too terrified to speak.
Cybil was last, and her words were soothing, like the gentle words of a loved mother.
“Be not afraid. We wish to give you the chance to ascend to Heaven™. If you can complete the challenge, you will have your suicide expunged from your record, and allowed into Heaven™. Tell me, son. Do you accept?”
The man seemed to take comfort from Cybil, and answered.
“Yes. Yes, I will try.”
All three entities smiled wickedly to themselves and then Cybil turned back to the man, and spoke thusly:
“If you are brave, honest and true,
You will take what I ask of you.
Be not afraid, be always kind.
Do what we bid, and out of this bind,
Shall you be freed, ever happily.
If you can tell us why,
We should not abandon thee,
Without ever using the letter ‘e’”
The man stood dumbfound for a second. He them managed to stammer out:
“Um! I am a real good…guy. I did not…want to…shoot…towards my…position. I…”
Cybil laughed, and spoke.
“Oh, poor mortal, you have failed, and now I sentence you to eternal jail!”
The man tried to speak.
“But I never used the letter…”
Doug chimed in.
“You will!”
Cybil pulled a switch that had magically appeared beside her. The place where the man was standing opened up, as though a trapdoor was there. He screamed out as he fell:
“Aieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…gasp…eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…huh, huh,hoo…eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…gasp, gasp…eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…When will this damn fall end?!
…gasp, gasp, gasp, gasp…Aieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…Ah crap! I hate this!…Aieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…
The screaming continued for so long, Cybil, Doug and Bob all had to laugh out loud. They stood by the trapdoor, and could still here the man screaming…
…Aieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…damn!…Aieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…double damn!..Aieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee….
Slam!
The trapdoor slammed shut, and Cybil, Bob and Doug all got ready for the next suicide.[/I]
William, Mario and Luigi had set themselves up rather nicely at the monastery in the Carpathian Mountains. William had been given access to the library of the monastery, and William had found a very interesting bit of information about the “Followers of the Void” in a book by a Roman Historian, Numbassius. It was from the 2nd century AD, and contained perhaps the most pertinent information William had read so far.
“The ancients had always known that in some areas of Africa, there were practices that were considered somewhat less than civilized. In particular, there were reports that one of Hannibal’s generals, a Simian Deguts, was one of these so-called ‘Followers of the Void’ and after Hannibal’s defeat in Carthage, Simian was tortured until he confessed his beliefs. He would not say who the so-called ‘Dark One’ was, or what exactly the ‘Void’ was. He would only say that Followers had to follow a strict set of rules, and could only celebrate the ‘Dark One’ on certain days, at certain times. He listed a set of dates and times, which the interrogators dutifully noted down. Which I have listed in the appendices.See Followers
When a patrol was sent out to observe and note down what this rituals contained, tragedy struck. The three soldiers who had interrogated Simian were struck down by a strange and mysterious ague which infected only them. No other solider was affected by it. As well, the families of the soldiers who had interrogated Simian were killed off in horribly painful, gruesome ways.
The scouts who were sent out all were killed in a very strange, very common Elephant stampede. The whole issue of who and what the ‘Followers of the Void’ were was abandoned, and it was only though my careful study of a centurion’s diary that I was even able to discover this very strange event. I ascertained that whoever and whatever this ‘Dark One’ was, it had been responsible for placing a curse upon the heads of those who had tried to discover anything about it. The reader may ask himself why I am so brash as to try and search for answers where none have been found before, and I say this. I do not worry about curses. They are for others. Not I! I am immune to curses. I will…never…be…c…u…r…s…e…d…”
William noted that thee last few lines were scrawled, as if written by a man who is slowly dying. He looked at the appendices, and noted that all of the confessions of Simian Deguts had placed the rituals in Al Djazair, which was now a part of Algiers. William also noted that the dates and times, when converted into the current system, showed that the next set of rituals would occur in 1525. August 17th, at 9:07 PM, local time. An eclipse would occur at that time, and the “Followers of the Void” would make themselves known, and say prayers to the “Dark One”. William cursed. He needed to know more. He got up, and slapped Mario and Luigi in the face. Mario was singing a very annoying song, and Luigi was snoring so loudly that there was a very real possibility of bringing down the roof on top of them.
“You asses! Stop that! Mario! Stop singing! Or I will be forced to cut out your tongue, remove your powers of speech! You! Luigi! Stop snoring, or I will cut off your nose and shove it so far up your ass, all you will smell from now on is shit morning, noon and night! Do you both ‘get’ me?!”
Mario and Luigi both sat up straight, and stopped singing and snoring. They had never seen William like this. It was a rude awakening for both of them. They grabbed books, and actually started to do their jobs! Can you imagine? Actually looking for references to the Comfy Chair, the “Dark One” and the “Followers of the Void”. Wow!
