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It should be fixed now, ignore the 2 red X's at the bottom... let me know if there are anymore problems.
Well, that was perhaps the BEST game I have ever witnessed in my 23 years on this Earth. Wow! And the only reason it wasn't a blowout was that Ricther was un-be-freking-lievable! That stop on Fleury? How did he do that, grab his glove, and then make that next stop? Damn!
BTW, I also had that problem with the screenies. A few were just X's.
As for another installment, I will have one today. BTW, there may be music in it, there may not. You'll have to wait and see. Mwa ha ha! Hack, hack, Hockey!
Edit: Screenies look bee-yute-i-full! Thanks LJ.
BTW, I also had that problem with the screenies. A few were just X's.
As for another installment, I will have one today. BTW, there may be music in it, there may not. You'll have to wait and see. Mwa ha ha! Hack, hack, Hockey!
Edit: Screenies look bee-yute-i-full! Thanks LJ.
brodour made an amazing save on that shot from hull on the power play when it was 3-2... i believe, maybe 4-2. In any case, that would have made things REALLY interesting...
so here is the on topic post...
what is the general feeling on two AAR's about the same country at the same time... I have hinted at a Papal States game I was playing, and I started another... Just wondering what the feelings are on it...
so here is the on topic post...
what is the general feeling on two AAR's about the same country at the same time... I have hinted at a Papal States game I was playing, and I started another... Just wondering what the feelings are on it...
Ok, back on topic...
I think it would be very cool, LJ. I would eagerly read it to see how you are doing, what choices you make. I hope you do go through with it. It will be very interesting.
____________________________
You know, War is not such a bad guy. Sure, he rides that big, black horse. Sure, he is one of the Four Horsemen. But does that make him an evil guy? Nope. The guy is great. Got himself a sense of humour that would kill huge swathes of men. Everyone hates him, and it just isn’t fair, I tell you! It isn’t fair!
Speaking of War, he is watching my little bit of fun in Burgundy, and we both have laughs and groans as the Burgundians lose and win against my Papal States Robes. Fun! Lots of Fun!
This year sees me in a war versus the Palatinate and Burgundy. I have Venice, Savoy, Mecklenberg and Pommern as allies, and I do not think that those poor Burgundians have much more left in them.
1503 PT
On January 25th, the strangest of things happens. The League of Cambrai. It is a move by that Warrior-Pope, Julius II, to weaken Venice. I now have a “War Card” against them for 6 years. Not only that, but my crap relations with France and Tuscany are massively improved. I can now even ponder inviting France into an alliance with me. Wouldn’t that be cool?
March 7th sees me send a foxy lady to France, just because I can! Oh yeah! Baby!
March 21st sees Orleannais placed under siege, and I laugh! Ha!
April 25th sees both the capital of Pfalz fall, and I make damn sure that it has this time, and also Artois has fallen. Sweet!
Borgia heads from his victorious siege to Picardie, and d’Este heads from Pfalz to Brabant.
A new Pope on August 20th. Pius III. Good for him!
Although it is nothing, the fact that Orleannais falls a day later is taken to be a sign from God that He( I wish they would get it right. Cybil gets really pissed always being referred to as a Male. She isn’t.) sees fit to grant the Papal Troops Divine Favour. How utterly wrong can you be? She farted, yes. But that is not a Divine Favour. It is a curse. Have you never wondered how Solar Winds come into being? You guessed it! Cybil farts! Boom! You have Solar Winds! Easy, if you think about it!
August 25th sees Koln fall, and now all that worries me is that huge 37,000 strong Burgundian Army in Lyonnais. Oh yeah, I’ll ask France to join the alliance, if I can. That would be nice.
October 11th sees that Warrior Pope take control of the Papal States. Well, not really “take control” , but sit on that pretty seat. Good for him. I want to use him, but not until this war is over. Those Ottomans have Apulia. I should not let that stand.
November 21st sees d’Este successful in Brabant. Onwards to Flandern. This should be fun!
December 16th sees Picardie taken, and Borgia is ordered to head to meet up in the Burgundian capital with the Army that is laying siege there. I will end this, soon.
1504 PT
This year sees a fortress upgrade ordered in Bosnia. If I am to make a move against the Ottomans, I need the forts along their border to be as strong as they can be.
In Bern, Baden, Wurzburg, Kleves, Hessen and Anhalt the call is sent out. Call up the Robes! Call up the Robes!
I also send all of my merchants to Veneto. Got to love the Blinds! Be the Blinds! Sneeze on the Blinds! Yeah!
I give a letter to France, and will ask them to be my friend soon. Oh won’t they please be my friend?!
January 14th sees Lyonnais retaken by those damned Burgundians! Damn them! Spit on their feet and kick them in the crotch!
On February 21st, the number crunchers tell me that this year will be exceptional, whatever that means. At least I have some money to play around with(in a wholesome way, donchaknow?)
April 14th sees two things happen. Sweden joins Burgundy and the Palatinate in their war against me. But then, they offer me a white peace. I love it!
August 11th sees Flandern fall, and I order d’Este to head to the Burgundian capital. I also am gladdened to learn that Dauphine has fallen, and Lyonnais is now back under siege by my Robes! Yes! Take that, silly Burgundians named after a colour! Ha!
I have both of my generals, Borgia, and d’Este, in the Burgundian capital. But they are not faring too well. I have purely Robe armies, where the damned Burgundians have mostly Horse. Not good! Not Good at all!
As this year passes into oblivion, I can only hope they are not in far greater danger than I give them credit for.
1505 PT
This year sees me focus more on the border with the Ottomans. As such, Robes are called up in Ragusa, Bosnia, that province I cannot mention, else I will be forced into song, Maros, Ruthenia and Carpathia. Yeah!
The fortress in Ragusa is order to be upgraded. A single merchant is sent to Veneto. Why not?
February 1st sees Jean Calvine tell me that now our already formidable forts can be further improved. Very nice.[Land Tech 11 reached]
April 1st sees the Burgundian capital fall, and I order Borgia head south and join the Army in Lyonnais. I will let d’Este wait, relax. He will head for Auvergne when he has received some reinforcements.
Oh crap! May 30th sees something even I. Bob Death, did not see coming. I may be Death, but there are some things that even I do not control. Like meteorites falling from the sky. How was I to know that on that day, at exactly 4:32 PM, a chunk of rock would fall from the sky, bounce off the ground, hit d’Este in the eye, and kill him? I may be good, but I sure as hell ain’t that good! Damn, and he was my favourite General!
June 1st sees Holland fall. Well, still, that sucks about d’Este.
August 1st sees Lyonnais fall, and a month later, on September 3rd, Auvergne falls. All that is left is Zeeland. Well, there is that province up in Ireland area, but I won’t reach it for a long time, especially without a fleet that is any good. Oh well.
December 1st sees a Venetian army arrive in Zeeland, take it over, and that is that. Now for peace. I’ll wait for Burgundy to offer me peace first, see what they will give me.
1506 PT
So! The Robes are called up in Baden, Wurzburg, Kleves, Magdeburg and Anhalt. Gifts are given to Pommern, Mecklenberg and Savoy. After this is all done with, I’m gonna ask some people to be my vassals! Oh Yeah!
February 5th sees the Nobles taking advantage of the fact that I am occupied in a war. They want their old rights back? I don’t think so! Pah to them! Pah!
June 3rd sees no peace, and I am informed that it is time for Borgia to die. Damn set lifetimes! I hate them!
It is a pity, too. He dies just a few weeks before peace is offered to me by Burgundy. Pity, he would have loved to see his dream fulfilled so.
Oldenburg, Hanover, Alsace, Munster, Franche Comte and Koln are offered and accepted. Why not? In five years, I’ll be back. With a Vengeance! Yeah! June 21st is a good day to be me.
That same day, peace is made with the Palatinate. I get Mainz and a huge cash settlement. Nice! [166d for my troubles].
Robes in Franche Comte, Alsace and Koln are called up, mainly to ensure Rebels do not have too much fun. My armies in Holland, Zeeland, Lyonnais and Nivernais are called back, and will be greeted with joyous jubilation.
Oh yeah, one more thing. Pommern agrees to be my vassals. Very nice!
October 13th sees a great work started. Although it pains me deeply to do this, I agree when Julius suggests that St. Peter’s Basilica be built. Let it be so. I hope it is not a bad decision on my part.
1507 PT
This year sees my order still suck. And it all is because of those Nobles and their Old Rights. Bah! I piss on their rights.
In Bern, Alsace, France Comte, Mainz and Koln, Robes are called up. Why not?
State Gifts are given to Savoy and France. Why not?
April 7th sees a small force sitting on the border with Savoy.
April 9th sees that same force drinking themselves stupid. Savoy is now a part of the Papal States. I can ask France to join my alliance! Huzzah!
And they do! Yes!
I am told that France has also gone with the League of Cambrai. Very nice. You know what would be hilarious? If I offered France to be my vassal and they accepted. It won’t happen, of course. It would be nice though.
On September 9th, a gift is given to us, a State gift. Ok.
In Piedmont, Savoy, Franche Comte, Alsace, and Kleves Robes are called up. I need to secure my Western Border .
With what remains from that State Gift I received, I give France a small, personal gift. Sweet!
On December 1st, I finally get my order back! Hey! I wanted fries with that! Damn you!
1508 PT
This year sees me a happy, happy entity. Yes sir! I am very happy!
Ragusa, Bosnia, Banat and the province that shall remain nameless. These are my front line provinces against the Ottomans. As such, they all receive orders to call up Robes. As well, in Ragusa, I tell them I want to see what one of these “Medium” forts look like. Build one there.
I give personal gifts to Pommern and Mecklenberg. Why not? Make them hate me less, the fickle fickles!
June 3rd sees dissidents in a few of the Ottoman provinces ask me for support. So sorry, no cash!
1509 PT
As the years pass by, I keep on returning to thoughts of the “Dark One” and the “Followers of the Void.”
I can only wait and hope. I can also prepare for a move against the Ottomans. Ragusa, Bosnia, Banat, Maros, the unmentioned province, Ruthenia, Carpathia, Presburg, Odenburg, Krain, Istria and Steiermark get notices to call up Robes, and be prepared for war.
In Odenburg, I order the fort there upgraded. It is one of the very few provinces, besides the Home Provinces, that has the lowest grade fort, just above none at all. Improve it.
It is now time, this January 1st, to implement the DPC. Central power. That is what I want! Give me more power Scotty! I don’t care if you are too fat to reach the controls! Do it man! [+1 to Centralization DP].
Carpathia, Carpathia, Carpathia…
-----
The lone wlak stared at William hungrily. It had gotten lost from its herd, and now was close to death. William had thought to offer Mario or Luigi for the wlak, out of pity, but had thought better. He did have a very good reason though. After the trio had reached that Inn, Mario had started to hum this song, that grew more and more annoying. As if that was not bad enough, now Mario had thought up words to his humming. How did it go? Oh yeah:
“Ex! Commune- Icay Shun! Yeah!
It’s what the Pope, he loves to do! Huh!
Ex! Commune-Icay Shun! Pow!
Don’t pray and he’ll come after you! Whoa!”
And this was repeated ad nauseum, over and over again. Very annoying. William would be happy when they reached the monastery, where he could tell Mario to shut up! And mean it.
The wlak made its move. It came bounding over the frozen ground, aiming to take out William. But William had seen it, and waited, letting it get closer and closer. As the wlak jumped towards William, he ducked. The wlak wore what could only be described as a puzzled look on its face as it sailed over William’s head and did not see the tree in its way.
Smack!!!
William, Mario and Luigi had themselves some very fine wlak stew that night. They still had a few weeks to go till they reached the monastery. For William, it could not come soon enough. Ex! Commune-Icay Shun! What a horrible play an excommunication. If only the Pope knew that his Inquisitioners were this blasphemous. Ha! That would be funny. William laughed, and some of the wlak broth spurted through his nose. Ha! He thought on that for the rest of the trip…
I think it would be very cool, LJ. I would eagerly read it to see how you are doing, what choices you make. I hope you do go through with it. It will be very interesting.
____________________________
You know, War is not such a bad guy. Sure, he rides that big, black horse. Sure, he is one of the Four Horsemen. But does that make him an evil guy? Nope. The guy is great. Got himself a sense of humour that would kill huge swathes of men. Everyone hates him, and it just isn’t fair, I tell you! It isn’t fair!
Speaking of War, he is watching my little bit of fun in Burgundy, and we both have laughs and groans as the Burgundians lose and win against my Papal States Robes. Fun! Lots of Fun!
This year sees me in a war versus the Palatinate and Burgundy. I have Venice, Savoy, Mecklenberg and Pommern as allies, and I do not think that those poor Burgundians have much more left in them.
1503 PT
On January 25th, the strangest of things happens. The League of Cambrai. It is a move by that Warrior-Pope, Julius II, to weaken Venice. I now have a “War Card” against them for 6 years. Not only that, but my crap relations with France and Tuscany are massively improved. I can now even ponder inviting France into an alliance with me. Wouldn’t that be cool?
March 7th sees me send a foxy lady to France, just because I can! Oh yeah! Baby!
March 21st sees Orleannais placed under siege, and I laugh! Ha!
April 25th sees both the capital of Pfalz fall, and I make damn sure that it has this time, and also Artois has fallen. Sweet!
Borgia heads from his victorious siege to Picardie, and d’Este heads from Pfalz to Brabant.
A new Pope on August 20th. Pius III. Good for him!
Although it is nothing, the fact that Orleannais falls a day later is taken to be a sign from God that He( I wish they would get it right. Cybil gets really pissed always being referred to as a Male. She isn’t.) sees fit to grant the Papal Troops Divine Favour. How utterly wrong can you be? She farted, yes. But that is not a Divine Favour. It is a curse. Have you never wondered how Solar Winds come into being? You guessed it! Cybil farts! Boom! You have Solar Winds! Easy, if you think about it!
August 25th sees Koln fall, and now all that worries me is that huge 37,000 strong Burgundian Army in Lyonnais. Oh yeah, I’ll ask France to join the alliance, if I can. That would be nice.
October 11th sees that Warrior Pope take control of the Papal States. Well, not really “take control” , but sit on that pretty seat. Good for him. I want to use him, but not until this war is over. Those Ottomans have Apulia. I should not let that stand.
November 21st sees d’Este successful in Brabant. Onwards to Flandern. This should be fun!
December 16th sees Picardie taken, and Borgia is ordered to head to meet up in the Burgundian capital with the Army that is laying siege there. I will end this, soon.
1504 PT
This year sees a fortress upgrade ordered in Bosnia. If I am to make a move against the Ottomans, I need the forts along their border to be as strong as they can be.
In Bern, Baden, Wurzburg, Kleves, Hessen and Anhalt the call is sent out. Call up the Robes! Call up the Robes!
I also send all of my merchants to Veneto. Got to love the Blinds! Be the Blinds! Sneeze on the Blinds! Yeah!
I give a letter to France, and will ask them to be my friend soon. Oh won’t they please be my friend?!
January 14th sees Lyonnais retaken by those damned Burgundians! Damn them! Spit on their feet and kick them in the crotch!
On February 21st, the number crunchers tell me that this year will be exceptional, whatever that means. At least I have some money to play around with(in a wholesome way, donchaknow?)
April 14th sees two things happen. Sweden joins Burgundy and the Palatinate in their war against me. But then, they offer me a white peace. I love it!
August 11th sees Flandern fall, and I order d’Este to head to the Burgundian capital. I also am gladdened to learn that Dauphine has fallen, and Lyonnais is now back under siege by my Robes! Yes! Take that, silly Burgundians named after a colour! Ha!
I have both of my generals, Borgia, and d’Este, in the Burgundian capital. But they are not faring too well. I have purely Robe armies, where the damned Burgundians have mostly Horse. Not good! Not Good at all!
As this year passes into oblivion, I can only hope they are not in far greater danger than I give them credit for.
1505 PT
This year sees me focus more on the border with the Ottomans. As such, Robes are called up in Ragusa, Bosnia, that province I cannot mention, else I will be forced into song, Maros, Ruthenia and Carpathia. Yeah!
The fortress in Ragusa is order to be upgraded. A single merchant is sent to Veneto. Why not?
February 1st sees Jean Calvine tell me that now our already formidable forts can be further improved. Very nice.[Land Tech 11 reached]
April 1st sees the Burgundian capital fall, and I order Borgia head south and join the Army in Lyonnais. I will let d’Este wait, relax. He will head for Auvergne when he has received some reinforcements.
Oh crap! May 30th sees something even I. Bob Death, did not see coming. I may be Death, but there are some things that even I do not control. Like meteorites falling from the sky. How was I to know that on that day, at exactly 4:32 PM, a chunk of rock would fall from the sky, bounce off the ground, hit d’Este in the eye, and kill him? I may be good, but I sure as hell ain’t that good! Damn, and he was my favourite General!
June 1st sees Holland fall. Well, still, that sucks about d’Este.
August 1st sees Lyonnais fall, and a month later, on September 3rd, Auvergne falls. All that is left is Zeeland. Well, there is that province up in Ireland area, but I won’t reach it for a long time, especially without a fleet that is any good. Oh well.
December 1st sees a Venetian army arrive in Zeeland, take it over, and that is that. Now for peace. I’ll wait for Burgundy to offer me peace first, see what they will give me.
1506 PT
So! The Robes are called up in Baden, Wurzburg, Kleves, Magdeburg and Anhalt. Gifts are given to Pommern, Mecklenberg and Savoy. After this is all done with, I’m gonna ask some people to be my vassals! Oh Yeah!
February 5th sees the Nobles taking advantage of the fact that I am occupied in a war. They want their old rights back? I don’t think so! Pah to them! Pah!
June 3rd sees no peace, and I am informed that it is time for Borgia to die. Damn set lifetimes! I hate them!
It is a pity, too. He dies just a few weeks before peace is offered to me by Burgundy. Pity, he would have loved to see his dream fulfilled so.
Oldenburg, Hanover, Alsace, Munster, Franche Comte and Koln are offered and accepted. Why not? In five years, I’ll be back. With a Vengeance! Yeah! June 21st is a good day to be me.
That same day, peace is made with the Palatinate. I get Mainz and a huge cash settlement. Nice! [166d for my troubles].
Robes in Franche Comte, Alsace and Koln are called up, mainly to ensure Rebels do not have too much fun. My armies in Holland, Zeeland, Lyonnais and Nivernais are called back, and will be greeted with joyous jubilation.
Oh yeah, one more thing. Pommern agrees to be my vassals. Very nice!
October 13th sees a great work started. Although it pains me deeply to do this, I agree when Julius suggests that St. Peter’s Basilica be built. Let it be so. I hope it is not a bad decision on my part.
1507 PT
This year sees my order still suck. And it all is because of those Nobles and their Old Rights. Bah! I piss on their rights.
In Bern, Alsace, France Comte, Mainz and Koln, Robes are called up. Why not?
State Gifts are given to Savoy and France. Why not?
April 7th sees a small force sitting on the border with Savoy.
April 9th sees that same force drinking themselves stupid. Savoy is now a part of the Papal States. I can ask France to join my alliance! Huzzah!
And they do! Yes!
I am told that France has also gone with the League of Cambrai. Very nice. You know what would be hilarious? If I offered France to be my vassal and they accepted. It won’t happen, of course. It would be nice though.
On September 9th, a gift is given to us, a State gift. Ok.
In Piedmont, Savoy, Franche Comte, Alsace, and Kleves Robes are called up. I need to secure my Western Border
.With what remains from that State Gift I received, I give France a small, personal gift. Sweet!
On December 1st, I finally get my order back! Hey! I wanted fries with that! Damn you!
1508 PT
This year sees me a happy, happy entity. Yes sir! I am very happy!
Ragusa, Bosnia, Banat and the province that shall remain nameless. These are my front line provinces against the Ottomans. As such, they all receive orders to call up Robes. As well, in Ragusa, I tell them I want to see what one of these “Medium” forts look like. Build one there.
I give personal gifts to Pommern and Mecklenberg. Why not? Make them hate me less, the fickle fickles!
June 3rd sees dissidents in a few of the Ottoman provinces ask me for support. So sorry, no cash!
1509 PT
As the years pass by, I keep on returning to thoughts of the “Dark One” and the “Followers of the Void.”
I can only wait and hope. I can also prepare for a move against the Ottomans. Ragusa, Bosnia, Banat, Maros, the unmentioned province, Ruthenia, Carpathia, Presburg, Odenburg, Krain, Istria and Steiermark get notices to call up Robes, and be prepared for war.
In Odenburg, I order the fort there upgraded. It is one of the very few provinces, besides the Home Provinces, that has the lowest grade fort, just above none at all. Improve it.
It is now time, this January 1st, to implement the DPC. Central power. That is what I want! Give me more power Scotty! I don’t care if you are too fat to reach the controls! Do it man! [+1 to Centralization DP].
Carpathia, Carpathia, Carpathia…
-----
The lone wlak stared at William hungrily. It had gotten lost from its herd, and now was close to death. William had thought to offer Mario or Luigi for the wlak, out of pity, but had thought better. He did have a very good reason though. After the trio had reached that Inn, Mario had started to hum this song, that grew more and more annoying. As if that was not bad enough, now Mario had thought up words to his humming. How did it go? Oh yeah:
“Ex! Commune- Icay Shun! Yeah!
It’s what the Pope, he loves to do! Huh!
Ex! Commune-Icay Shun! Pow!
Don’t pray and he’ll come after you! Whoa!”
And this was repeated ad nauseum, over and over again. Very annoying. William would be happy when they reached the monastery, where he could tell Mario to shut up! And mean it.
The wlak made its move. It came bounding over the frozen ground, aiming to take out William. But William had seen it, and waited, letting it get closer and closer. As the wlak jumped towards William, he ducked. The wlak wore what could only be described as a puzzled look on its face as it sailed over William’s head and did not see the tree in its way.
Smack!!!
William, Mario and Luigi had themselves some very fine wlak stew that night. They still had a few weeks to go till they reached the monastery. For William, it could not come soon enough. Ex! Commune-Icay Shun! What a horrible play an excommunication. If only the Pope knew that his Inquisitioners were this blasphemous. Ha! That would be funny. William laughed, and some of the wlak broth spurted through his nose. Ha! He thought on that for the rest of the trip…
Re: CANADA WINS THE GOLD! CANADA WINS THE GOLD!
What? Your afraid of a few Ottomans running around? I thought this death guy was tough. Bah, I would have taken Naples and thumbed my nose at the Ottoman Empire. Is there anyone left to fight in a BB war. I would have thought that everyone would be at your throat by now.
Congratulations Canada on the gold medal win for both the men and women's teams.
Joe
What? Your afraid of a few Ottomans running around? I thought this death guy was tough. Bah, I would have taken Naples and thumbed my nose at the Ottoman Empire.
Is there anyone left to fight in a BB war. I would have thought that everyone would be at your throat by now.Congratulations Canada on the gold medal win for both the men and women's teams.
Joe
I have been lucky so far. Countries that should attack me are not, at least not yet. I still have this vision of Poland sneaking an attack aginst me, or even worse, Bavaria and its 35,000 strong army. As for the Ottomans, well, they are my next target, but I have decided since restoring stability is such a pain in the butt, I will wait for CBs from now on. Or jump to the aid of my allies. But that is it. Unless I get bored, in which case, I'll attack everyone on the planet! Yeah ha ha!
Ha!
Ha!
One of the rules that I use in all my games now is to not attack unless I have a CB. I did it to mainly slow down my expansion urges.
I agree that stability can be a pain to recover. In my Eire AAR I'm learning just how hard that can be. Especially when random events hit you one after the other. Joe
“Ex! Commune- Icay Shun! Yeah!
It’s what the Pope, he loves to do! Huh!
Ex! Commune-Icay Shun! Pow!
Don’t pray and he’ll come after you! Whoa!”
Get me some political screenshots, and then I'll be really happy
It’s what the Pope, he loves to do! Huh!
Ex! Commune-Icay Shun! Pow!
Don’t pray and he’ll come after you! Whoa!”
Get me some political screenshots, and then I'll be really happy
forward me a political screenie, and I will post it on the web page...
p.s. I don't wait for CBs for my specific goals (unification of italy, germany or something...) but I don't declare war other than that unless i have a cb...
p.s. I don't wait for CBs for my specific goals (unification of italy, germany or something...) but I don't declare war other than that unless i have a cb...
Re: Ok, back on topic...
Indeed!
Oh, and congratulations on a gold medal. You know where Germany is ranked totally?
Finally, you attack Furniture. It was about time...
Indeed!
Oh, and congratulations on a gold medal. You know where Germany is ranked totally?
Finally, you attack Furniture. It was about time...
Germany, IIRC would have finished 7th or 8th, as they lost in the quarterfinals 5-0, it was probably the biggest goal differencial of the medal round...
honour, political screenies... to me... to post
honour, political screenies... to me... to post
Pol-Scree
Yep, I'll take one right as I start my next installment, which will happen...
Shortly!
Yep, I'll take one right as I start my next installment, which will happen...
Shortly!
I got the screenies, i will post them later on tonight, when i get back from class... i look forward to reading the next installment.
3 new screenies up... as always, ignore the 2 red boxes at the bottom...
I figured out what the problem was before, I didn't realize that the names were case sensative, so i had to go back and correct a few... that and i correctly spelled on word in one of the file names, where Honour_Shogun had given it a "different" spelling
http://www.angelfire.com/empire/lordjoseph/hs.html
I figured out what the problem was before, I didn't realize that the names were case sensative, so i had to go back and correct a few... that and i correctly spelled on word in one of the file names, where Honour_Shogun had given it a "different" spelling
http://www.angelfire.com/empire/lordjoseph/hs.html
You know H_S... with a little more work, there might not be a problem with the reformation... heck... you you OWN the entire HRE, are you automatically HRE?
Storey, yep, normal normal. I am a coward. I won' try anything over those setts at least for now.
as for HRE, Spain has that luck. I would love to be Emperor.
BTW, anyone know, if you change from Catholic to say Protestant, do you lose out on some events for the Papal States? I am actually thinking of siply using my missionary's to convert everyone back to Catholicisim. Make them see the nastiness of non-catholic stuff.
Oh, and here is the next installment. Enjoy...
_______________
I wonder what would happen if I made my move against the Ottomans? They may just fall to my superior Papal troops. That would be very sweet.
Of course, since my order sucks still, I will have to wait. For a little bit, at least.
So! This year, 1509, sees me so hated that people have stopped asking for voodoo representations of my entire body. All they want now is my crotch. They use it as a pincushion. Yikes! Everybody hates me! Yippee!
1509 PT
My main concern is restoring order. I also need to eliminate Bohemia, Bavaria and Naples. They are all little islands in the Papal See. I hate that. When I have my order back to normal, that is when I will move against them. Unless one of my allies were to do so for me, nudge, nudge, wink, wink. Say no more!
September 1st sees news from Loogie. The navy, that I never use, is now better. Ok. {Naval Tech 3 reached]
1510 PT
January 1st sees a missionary sent to Ruthenia. They are not Catholic, and that is not right. I guess.
The border with Burgundy is improved, mainly to ensure that I do not need to worry about them anymore, especially if I go to war with Naples or those other annoyances. As such, Robes are called up in Franche Comte, Alsace, Mainz, Wurzburg, Sudeten, Ansbach, Ostmarch, Salzburg and Wurttemberg. That is all.
October 11th sees the damn Pope finalize the details on something he calls the Treaty of Tordesillas. Damn him! He will split the world up between Portugal and Spain? What about Bob Death? What do I get?! Nothing! Ungrateful bastard!
1511 PT
Well, what can I say? I cannot move against Naples or Tuscany until I get a good reason to do so. Damn!
This year starts out with me giving orders to cal up Robes in Koln, Kleves, Hessen, Anhalt, Magdeburg, Munster and Oldenburg. The North is looked after now.
I give State Gifts to Mecklenberg and Pommern. Why not?
February 6th sees a new vein of gold in Steiermark. Damn, I love that province! So shiny!
March 1st sees the rebels in Nivernais defect to France. It weakens Burgundy, and strengthens an ally. Not bad!
November 1st sees that most precious of things, Order, restored in the Realm. I can now look to my enemies, and pick and choose who will die next. Sweet!
1512 PT
Ah screw it! I declare war on Tuscany! They have no allies, and I can strike at them easily enough.
I then make a one-time cash infusion into restoring order. Ordering new police uniforms, making the Robes there whitest, that sort of thing.
Because I do not ask my allies to help, I give them each a personal gift to allay their fears that I am intent on gobbling up all of Europe. Well, I am, but not right yet.
January 18th sees a meteor sighted, and now I have even worse problems with order. People are saying it is the end of the world as they know it. Yeah, but I feel fine.
The siege begins with troops called from all over, and I manage to get 29,000 in Tuscany to lay siege to it.
The siege lasts the entire year, and goes on into the next as well.
1513 PT
I do not call up any Robes this year. I do not need them.
I invest another one-time cash infusion into restoring order, and give fancy letters to all of my allies. I cannot have them worrying about me. Or can I? Mwa ha ho!
January 15th sees the worst possible thing happen. Some of the nobles in Bosnia ally with the Ottomans. I have a reason to attack them, but my order is so freaking horrible I cannot. [Was –1 Stab, now at –3! Oh Crap!]
On the first of February, I gain some control on parts of the realm, but most of it is still just waiting to explode.
Just what I need! A new guy?! Damn! Leo X who is a fool! Damn him!
I knew it would come. Alsace revolts, on March 1st. Damn, here comes the wagon. Jump on.
That revolt is put down, and Silesia is attacked by Rebels. April 1st is indeed a day for fools! Those fool Rebels will learn the price is too steep to go against Bob Death. Yeah!
Yeah! They never learn, do they? Magdeburg under attack? Damn it!
I love this! Can it get any worse? Can it? Julius II, Warrior Pope extraordinaire has died. It was his time. Damn him! May 17th is not a good day to die. Not for him!
Well, the revolts are dying down, which is good.
On October 17th, Tuscany falls. I will offer them peace. They had better accept it.
October 26th sees the last paper signed, and Tuscany is no more. I need to focus on order again. Damn! I was ready to open a can of whupass on Europe! Damn!
1514 PT
I will not do anything this year. At all. Wake me when it’s over.
January 26th sees that mine in Steiermark! Yeah, fine, let me sleep.
…
Snore!
1515 PT
I still will remain peaceful. I have no other choice. But I know who I want to go after next. Poland. They have horribly trained armies. I could kick their ass!
I make another one-time boost to order, I have to.
January 20th sees a diplomatic bit of luck with Pommern. Who knew they like Swiss Cheese Whiz? I didn’t.
On February 1st, one of the most important events in Papal History happens. Some monk named Luther nails his theses on a church door. Bastard! He should be drinking himself stupid like all monks are supposed to do! Ack! He suggests that the Pope is unworthy. Yeah, ok. I could have told him that myself. Thing is, it makes it more difficult for me. Bah!
Nothing else happens. Good on that!
1516 PT
More money to order! Another one-time boost to restoring order. I have no other choice until I cam make the Realm all happy, smiling sunshine lollypops.
January 22nd sees a stupid loudmouth( and I am not talking about the Pope) who just wants to go to jail. I imprison him! Stupid uncooperative thinker! Damn!
April 1st sees order restored. I am hesitant to go to war again. I will wait.
On July 6th, one of the petty diplomats from Naples makes a snide remark about who makes the best pasta sauce. I say Prego, they say Heinz. That I will not stand for! For the next year, I can attack them and laugh as they scramble not to die! Whee!
I send back my declaration of war with that stupid diplomat from Naples.
August 1st sees Sweden become the first to declare themselves Protestant. Damn! I wish I could reach them. I’d make them pay! Oh yes indeedy!
August 23rd sees Napoli fall. That assault was fun! Let’s do it again! Yeah! Again!
September 26th sees Naples join the Papal Empire. Very nice.
1517 PT
So! I have my order back, but I really am curious to see what I could do with a Protestant Pope. That would be very cool. But not yet.
I give a personal gift to Venice, some fine potted plants. To Pommern, Mecklenberg and France, I give State Gifts. They all love me for it.
You know, I wish I could attack Poland. It would be hilarious, I bet!
January 26th sees policies I implemented a long time ago finally accepted as being Good. Damn Straight!
April 16th sees bad news. Well, actually horrible news. I ask Pommern to give up their resistance, since it is futile. They not only refuse, they cancel their vassal status with us, and I boot them out of the alliance for it. Let them suffer for it.
June 1st sees more improvements in the Army. Yay! {Land Tech 12 reached]
July 1st sees Mecklenberg declare themselves to be Protestant. They break their alliance with me and shall suffer the consequences for it. They will be no more!
Damn! I forgot about that military access with Mecklenberg! I cancel it, and will attack them next year!
1518 PT
Damn! I hate this! Orders are sent that this year shall be one of standing perfectly still so that I may see what I shall see.
February 12th sees unhappy peasants! Ah! For the love of Crap! What else is new?!
March 6th sees me declare war on Mecklenberg. They insulted me. They shall pay. That whole sit on my ass bit? It was a clever ruse!
I get France and Venice into the war, and Mecklenberg gets Sweden in. I cannot reach them though. Damn Sweden!
Well, I am happy about one thing. Mecklenberg is under siege, Sweden offers me white peace, which I accept, and now, now Ruthenia is Catholic! Ha! Take that, Orthodoxy! Boom!
1519 PT
Since I am now intent on a more warlike policy, I order the DPC to be adjusted as such. [+1 to Land DP]
I have Mecklenberg under siege, and I wonder who my next victim will be.
On March 17th, I finally cave in. The fort in Oldenburg is sadly out of date. Pathetic really. So improve it. Level 2! Make it a Level 2!
April 16th sees me assault the fort in Mecklenberg, and that is that! No more Mecklenberg! Yes!
November 14th sees the most incredible thing happen. Burgundy, those pompous asses, actually ask me to give them back land I took from them! Can you believe it?! I refuse, and there is war. I am given a war card for use against them. The bastards!
I get both France and Venice to join in. I think that France will do good in this. They have the most to gain. Sweet!
December 2nd sees Lorraine and Lyonnais under siege. In Lyonnais, the fort is run down, and I order an assault on it. How they could leave it at Level 1 is beyond me?
December 19th sees Lyonnais fall to assault, and Auvergne is the next target. Dauphine, Lorraine, Bremen and the capital of those Burgundian scoundrels are under siege by my forces, and in Orleannais, France has started an assault. Good!
December 29th sees Dauphine fall to the furious assault against it. Excellent!
1520 PT
I have to call up Robes! It only makes sense.
In Lombardia, Piedmont, Savoy, Franche Comte, Alsace, Mainz, Hessen, Anhalt, Magdeburg, Hanover, Oldenburg, Munster, Koln and Kleves. Ye gods!
To ensure that I do not lose my allies, I slip a little gift to them. For the French, it is some fine wine. They like that stuff, anyways. For the Venetians, I give them new and improved blinds. They love them.
Zeeland falls on February 22nd, and I order the army there to head towards Holland. I have…a…plan!
Nice job, France! They join my assault on the Burgundian capital, and on June 6th, it falls. It may be under French Control, but that is ok. We’re all friends here, eh?
Auvergne, Lorraine, Champagne and Holland fall to assaults as the war drags on. I only hope France and Venice can get something good out of this war. Like land.
Luxembourg falls, and this year is drawing to a close. I want France to get Orleannais, and whatever else they can grab from Burgundy.
1521 PT
Bremen falls on New Year’s Day, and all that remain are Flandern, Artois and Brabant. Oh, and Leinster, but that is so far away I doubt I can reach it.
I call up Robes in Oldenburg, Munster, Kleves, Hessen, Mainz, Anhalt, Hanover, Magdeburg, Mecklenburg and Franche Comte. Let them be my reinforcements if I need them.
I give nice letters to France and Venice. I like that fancy writing. It’s nice.
In a bid to show that the Capital is not weak, I order the fort there improved.
The year is spent in assaults. France has Artois under assault, and I have Brabant and Flandern under assault. This all pays off for me at least. Why? I’ll tell you why. Brabant falls on October 15th, and I send half the force there to help in Flandern.
1522 PT
Well, isn’t that special? France comes into Flandern, and takes control of the siege. Damn!
I raise war taxes, and call up Robes in Koln, Kleves, Hessen and Munster, Very nice.
All this bloodshed makes me thirsty! Where’s the beer?
January 10th sees a new Pope. Great. I do not care. He is immaterial.
And…that is…all…there… is…to do in…Burgundy!
January 25th sees Flandern fall to the French. Make peace, you damn frenchies! Take what you can and run! Do it! Do it!
December 27th sees some piss poor bugger from Gelre insult me! Me?! The dastard! I want them dead!
1523 PT
I take advantage of my chance. Gelre receives my declaration of war on January 4th. I get France and Venice on my side, and Denmark, Wales, Pommern and the Palatinate join Gelre.
The call goes out for War Taxes, and Robes are called up in Oldenburg, Munster and Kleves. Let the Robes cover the earth!
Focusing my energy in keeping this human guise is tiring. I think now is the best time to break, eh?
Yep.
Yep.
William, Mario and Luigi rode up the steep mountain path, looking at the forbidding monastery in the distance. They were almost to the strange and mysterious monastery that had been referred to in the book William had read all the way back in Agin Monastery. It had taken them far longer than even William had expected. It had been almost 8 years since they had left Agin, and now, after all there troubles, they were almost there. William felt that this was a key point in his strangely long life. He wondered why he had not died, as he should have. Long ago. To William, his immortality was an enigma wrapped in a tasty piece of beef jerky. He chewed on it, but could not get to the meat of what it was.
A wolf howled forlornly in the distance, and the moon shone down upon the path. William, Mario and Luigi had not seen anyone for over a month now. It seemed that great things were happening, but no one knew what.
Much to William’s delight, and secretly to his horror, Mario had stopped singing that damn song about excommunicating people. Thanks be to Above for that. However, Mario was now singing a strange new song.
“My name is Mario!
I Live in the Pope’s Palace!
I live downstairs from you!
And I cannot reach my ass!
Oh!”
Very annoying.
William wondered if he could get one of the nuns to sew Mario’s mouth shut? Just leave enough of a hole for him to sip stuff through a straw. That would be great!
They were a few hours away from the monastery. If they did not have any more encounters…
as for HRE, Spain has that luck. I would love to be Emperor.
BTW, anyone know, if you change from Catholic to say Protestant, do you lose out on some events for the Papal States? I am actually thinking of siply using my missionary's to convert everyone back to Catholicisim. Make them see the nastiness of non-catholic stuff.
Oh, and here is the next installment. Enjoy...
_______________
I wonder what would happen if I made my move against the Ottomans? They may just fall to my superior Papal troops. That would be very sweet.
Of course, since my order sucks still, I will have to wait. For a little bit, at least.
So! This year, 1509, sees me so hated that people have stopped asking for voodoo representations of my entire body. All they want now is my crotch. They use it as a pincushion. Yikes! Everybody hates me! Yippee!
1509 PT
My main concern is restoring order. I also need to eliminate Bohemia, Bavaria and Naples. They are all little islands in the Papal See. I hate that. When I have my order back to normal, that is when I will move against them. Unless one of my allies were to do so for me, nudge, nudge, wink, wink. Say no more!
September 1st sees news from Loogie. The navy, that I never use, is now better. Ok. {Naval Tech 3 reached]
1510 PT
January 1st sees a missionary sent to Ruthenia. They are not Catholic, and that is not right. I guess.
The border with Burgundy is improved, mainly to ensure that I do not need to worry about them anymore, especially if I go to war with Naples or those other annoyances. As such, Robes are called up in Franche Comte, Alsace, Mainz, Wurzburg, Sudeten, Ansbach, Ostmarch, Salzburg and Wurttemberg. That is all.
October 11th sees the damn Pope finalize the details on something he calls the Treaty of Tordesillas. Damn him! He will split the world up between Portugal and Spain? What about Bob Death? What do I get?! Nothing! Ungrateful bastard!
1511 PT
Well, what can I say? I cannot move against Naples or Tuscany until I get a good reason to do so. Damn!
This year starts out with me giving orders to cal up Robes in Koln, Kleves, Hessen, Anhalt, Magdeburg, Munster and Oldenburg. The North is looked after now.
I give State Gifts to Mecklenberg and Pommern. Why not?
February 6th sees a new vein of gold in Steiermark. Damn, I love that province! So shiny!
March 1st sees the rebels in Nivernais defect to France. It weakens Burgundy, and strengthens an ally. Not bad!
November 1st sees that most precious of things, Order, restored in the Realm. I can now look to my enemies, and pick and choose who will die next. Sweet!
1512 PT
Ah screw it! I declare war on Tuscany! They have no allies, and I can strike at them easily enough.
I then make a one-time cash infusion into restoring order. Ordering new police uniforms, making the Robes there whitest, that sort of thing.
Because I do not ask my allies to help, I give them each a personal gift to allay their fears that I am intent on gobbling up all of Europe. Well, I am, but not right yet.
January 18th sees a meteor sighted, and now I have even worse problems with order. People are saying it is the end of the world as they know it. Yeah, but I feel fine.
The siege begins with troops called from all over, and I manage to get 29,000 in Tuscany to lay siege to it.
The siege lasts the entire year, and goes on into the next as well.
1513 PT
I do not call up any Robes this year. I do not need them.
I invest another one-time cash infusion into restoring order, and give fancy letters to all of my allies. I cannot have them worrying about me. Or can I? Mwa ha ho!
January 15th sees the worst possible thing happen. Some of the nobles in Bosnia ally with the Ottomans. I have a reason to attack them, but my order is so freaking horrible I cannot. [Was –1 Stab, now at –3! Oh Crap!]
On the first of February, I gain some control on parts of the realm, but most of it is still just waiting to explode.
Just what I need! A new guy?! Damn! Leo X who is a fool! Damn him!
I knew it would come. Alsace revolts, on March 1st. Damn, here comes the wagon. Jump on.
That revolt is put down, and Silesia is attacked by Rebels. April 1st is indeed a day for fools! Those fool Rebels will learn the price is too steep to go against Bob Death. Yeah!
Yeah! They never learn, do they? Magdeburg under attack? Damn it!
I love this! Can it get any worse? Can it? Julius II, Warrior Pope extraordinaire has died. It was his time. Damn him! May 17th is not a good day to die. Not for him!
Well, the revolts are dying down, which is good.
On October 17th, Tuscany falls. I will offer them peace. They had better accept it.
October 26th sees the last paper signed, and Tuscany is no more. I need to focus on order again. Damn! I was ready to open a can of whupass on Europe! Damn!
1514 PT
I will not do anything this year. At all. Wake me when it’s over.
January 26th sees that mine in Steiermark! Yeah, fine, let me sleep.
…
Snore!
1515 PT
I still will remain peaceful. I have no other choice. But I know who I want to go after next. Poland. They have horribly trained armies. I could kick their ass!
I make another one-time boost to order, I have to.
January 20th sees a diplomatic bit of luck with Pommern. Who knew they like Swiss Cheese Whiz? I didn’t.
On February 1st, one of the most important events in Papal History happens. Some monk named Luther nails his theses on a church door. Bastard! He should be drinking himself stupid like all monks are supposed to do! Ack! He suggests that the Pope is unworthy. Yeah, ok. I could have told him that myself. Thing is, it makes it more difficult for me. Bah!
Nothing else happens. Good on that!
1516 PT
More money to order! Another one-time boost to restoring order. I have no other choice until I cam make the Realm all happy, smiling sunshine lollypops.
January 22nd sees a stupid loudmouth( and I am not talking about the Pope) who just wants to go to jail. I imprison him! Stupid uncooperative thinker! Damn!
April 1st sees order restored. I am hesitant to go to war again. I will wait.
On July 6th, one of the petty diplomats from Naples makes a snide remark about who makes the best pasta sauce. I say Prego, they say Heinz. That I will not stand for! For the next year, I can attack them and laugh as they scramble not to die! Whee!
I send back my declaration of war with that stupid diplomat from Naples.
August 1st sees Sweden become the first to declare themselves Protestant. Damn! I wish I could reach them. I’d make them pay! Oh yes indeedy!
August 23rd sees Napoli fall. That assault was fun! Let’s do it again! Yeah! Again!
September 26th sees Naples join the Papal Empire. Very nice.
1517 PT
So! I have my order back, but I really am curious to see what I could do with a Protestant Pope. That would be very cool. But not yet.
I give a personal gift to Venice, some fine potted plants. To Pommern, Mecklenberg and France, I give State Gifts. They all love me for it.
You know, I wish I could attack Poland. It would be hilarious, I bet!
January 26th sees policies I implemented a long time ago finally accepted as being Good. Damn Straight!
April 16th sees bad news. Well, actually horrible news. I ask Pommern to give up their resistance, since it is futile. They not only refuse, they cancel their vassal status with us, and I boot them out of the alliance for it. Let them suffer for it.
June 1st sees more improvements in the Army. Yay! {Land Tech 12 reached]
July 1st sees Mecklenberg declare themselves to be Protestant. They break their alliance with me and shall suffer the consequences for it. They will be no more!
Damn! I forgot about that military access with Mecklenberg! I cancel it, and will attack them next year!
1518 PT
Damn! I hate this! Orders are sent that this year shall be one of standing perfectly still so that I may see what I shall see.
February 12th sees unhappy peasants! Ah! For the love of Crap! What else is new?!
March 6th sees me declare war on Mecklenberg. They insulted me. They shall pay. That whole sit on my ass bit? It was a clever ruse!
I get France and Venice into the war, and Mecklenberg gets Sweden in. I cannot reach them though. Damn Sweden!
Well, I am happy about one thing. Mecklenberg is under siege, Sweden offers me white peace, which I accept, and now, now Ruthenia is Catholic! Ha! Take that, Orthodoxy! Boom!
1519 PT
Since I am now intent on a more warlike policy, I order the DPC to be adjusted as such. [+1 to Land DP]
I have Mecklenberg under siege, and I wonder who my next victim will be.
On March 17th, I finally cave in. The fort in Oldenburg is sadly out of date. Pathetic really. So improve it. Level 2! Make it a Level 2!
April 16th sees me assault the fort in Mecklenberg, and that is that! No more Mecklenberg! Yes!
November 14th sees the most incredible thing happen. Burgundy, those pompous asses, actually ask me to give them back land I took from them! Can you believe it?! I refuse, and there is war. I am given a war card for use against them. The bastards!
I get both France and Venice to join in. I think that France will do good in this. They have the most to gain. Sweet!
December 2nd sees Lorraine and Lyonnais under siege. In Lyonnais, the fort is run down, and I order an assault on it. How they could leave it at Level 1 is beyond me?
December 19th sees Lyonnais fall to assault, and Auvergne is the next target. Dauphine, Lorraine, Bremen and the capital of those Burgundian scoundrels are under siege by my forces, and in Orleannais, France has started an assault. Good!
December 29th sees Dauphine fall to the furious assault against it. Excellent!
1520 PT
I have to call up Robes! It only makes sense.
In Lombardia, Piedmont, Savoy, Franche Comte, Alsace, Mainz, Hessen, Anhalt, Magdeburg, Hanover, Oldenburg, Munster, Koln and Kleves. Ye gods!
To ensure that I do not lose my allies, I slip a little gift to them. For the French, it is some fine wine. They like that stuff, anyways. For the Venetians, I give them new and improved blinds. They love them.
Zeeland falls on February 22nd, and I order the army there to head towards Holland. I have…a…plan!
Nice job, France! They join my assault on the Burgundian capital, and on June 6th, it falls. It may be under French Control, but that is ok. We’re all friends here, eh?
Auvergne, Lorraine, Champagne and Holland fall to assaults as the war drags on. I only hope France and Venice can get something good out of this war. Like land.
Luxembourg falls, and this year is drawing to a close. I want France to get Orleannais, and whatever else they can grab from Burgundy.
1521 PT
Bremen falls on New Year’s Day, and all that remain are Flandern, Artois and Brabant. Oh, and Leinster, but that is so far away I doubt I can reach it.
I call up Robes in Oldenburg, Munster, Kleves, Hessen, Mainz, Anhalt, Hanover, Magdeburg, Mecklenburg and Franche Comte. Let them be my reinforcements if I need them.
I give nice letters to France and Venice. I like that fancy writing. It’s nice.
In a bid to show that the Capital is not weak, I order the fort there improved.
The year is spent in assaults. France has Artois under assault, and I have Brabant and Flandern under assault. This all pays off for me at least. Why? I’ll tell you why. Brabant falls on October 15th, and I send half the force there to help in Flandern.
1522 PT
Well, isn’t that special? France comes into Flandern, and takes control of the siege. Damn!
I raise war taxes, and call up Robes in Koln, Kleves, Hessen and Munster, Very nice.
All this bloodshed makes me thirsty! Where’s the beer?
January 10th sees a new Pope. Great. I do not care. He is immaterial.
And…that is…all…there… is…to do in…Burgundy!
January 25th sees Flandern fall to the French. Make peace, you damn frenchies! Take what you can and run! Do it! Do it!
December 27th sees some piss poor bugger from Gelre insult me! Me?! The dastard! I want them dead!
1523 PT
I take advantage of my chance. Gelre receives my declaration of war on January 4th. I get France and Venice on my side, and Denmark, Wales, Pommern and the Palatinate join Gelre.
The call goes out for War Taxes, and Robes are called up in Oldenburg, Munster and Kleves. Let the Robes cover the earth!
Focusing my energy in keeping this human guise is tiring. I think now is the best time to break, eh?
Yep.
Yep.
William, Mario and Luigi rode up the steep mountain path, looking at the forbidding monastery in the distance. They were almost to the strange and mysterious monastery that had been referred to in the book William had read all the way back in Agin Monastery. It had taken them far longer than even William had expected. It had been almost 8 years since they had left Agin, and now, after all there troubles, they were almost there. William felt that this was a key point in his strangely long life. He wondered why he had not died, as he should have. Long ago. To William, his immortality was an enigma wrapped in a tasty piece of beef jerky. He chewed on it, but could not get to the meat of what it was.
A wolf howled forlornly in the distance, and the moon shone down upon the path. William, Mario and Luigi had not seen anyone for over a month now. It seemed that great things were happening, but no one knew what.
Much to William’s delight, and secretly to his horror, Mario had stopped singing that damn song about excommunicating people. Thanks be to Above for that. However, Mario was now singing a strange new song.
“My name is Mario!
I Live in the Pope’s Palace!
I live downstairs from you!
And I cannot reach my ass!
Oh!”
Very annoying.
William wondered if he could get one of the nuns to sew Mario’s mouth shut? Just leave enough of a hole for him to sip stuff through a straw. That would be great!
They were a few hours away from the monastery. If they did not have any more encounters…