Nobody expects...The Holy Inquisition!!!

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Ah ha! Finally, this stinkin post is done.

Well, this post took me from my last post to this one here to do. Sheesh, if I had known it would be that annoyingly hard to do, I would have made it easier on myself. Glutton for punishment, I am. At least, I think I am...

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After completing his spiral test, and not falling down, William is led to a sparse room, where he is blindfolded. He is spun around several more times, so much so he is near to vomiting, and after what seems like an eternity, William is led to a room. It is polished silver, the entire room. In the centre, seemingly floating in the air, is a seat. William is led to the seat, and bade to sit down. He does so, and is immediately thrown hard to the back of the chair, as if he is accelerating at a very high speed. He continues to feel the heavy pressure upon his body, until, after about half an hour, there is a decrease, a release in the pressure, and William can breathe again. His eyes still hurt from the pressure put upon them, as does the rest of his body.

A whoosh! And a book appears before William, floating a few feet in front of him. It is solid gold. It seems to have no pages, seems to be a box, not a book, and yet, just as William is thinking that all of this, everything he has experienced, is a joke, a voice booms inside his head.

“William of Baskerville! You have been deemed worthy to gain the wisdom of the Secret Book! It is older than your planet itself! It exists in a different type of time…

“If you think that this is all some wild dream, rest assured it is real. Very much so. I am the Voice! I am here to tell you something which you have been ignorant of. That you could not possibly know about, as no mortal knows about it. Very few of the Entities know of it either, such is the secrecy of what I am about to impart to you…

“What I am about to tell you about regards Time and Space. But not the Time and Space you live in. A different type…

“There are two different ‘types’ of Time and Space. There is Real Time, that is what mortals live in. It is finite. There is a beginning, a middle and an end. Then, there is Apparent Time. It is infinite. It is what most Entities exist in. Apparent Time allows the being to travel to any point in Real time. They exist outside of Time as you know it, as you understand it. For them, a billion years of your Real Time may pass, and for them, only a second has passed. Or it could be more closer to even. Such is the nature of Time, it is fluid. Especially the two ‘types’ of Time. They directly relate to each other. So, a being, such as God, can see what happens in your mortal realm, as well as know what is going on in Her own realm as well. Note that these two ‘types’ of Time cover all different universes, all different dimensions…

“In regards to Time, there are a few things that must be mentioned so that you are not completely lost. Although beings, such as God, the Devil and Death, can exist in both times, it is very energy consuming. As such, there are waypoints that are used, a sort of ‘Universal Highway’ that can be used. This ‘Highway’ allows for travel between the different Times and Spaces. In fact, certain demigods and demigoddesses like to exist in these waypoints. Point of fact, there is, at this very ‘Time’ some demigods playing a game, whilst others watch it. So, that explains Time. Now we come to Space…

“ Real and Apparent Space exist outside of both Times respectively. Real exists outside Real, Apparent outside of Apparent. You understand?

“ Real Space is not fluid. It is finite, just like Real Time. Although some have postulated that Space expands, it is not so. In fact, it contracts. Even as you listen to this book, the universe has shrunk almost half a billion ‘Falgars’ and it continues to do so at a very steady pace. As such, in a trillion years, this universe will collapse and restart. Like the tides. Save that the tides do not ebb and flow for a very, very long time…

“Real Space and Apparent Space have the unique ability to intersect with each other. Outside the ‘Highway’. At these ‘intersections’ there are tears in the fabric of Space. Not Time, only Space. These ‘tears’ are used frequently by the beings that exist in Apparent Space as a means of transporting themselves between Real and Apparent Space. As well, the being you seek…Yes, I know who you seek, silly. What? I am in your mind, and don’t get to look around? Sure, buddy.

“But I digress…

An interesting fact. The Three ‘Things’, the Tree of Life, Pool of Shadows and Chair of Everlasting Comfort all exist in the exact centre of this nexus of Real and Apparent Time and Space. In fact, it has been suggested that it is impossible to actually reach them, but that has yet to be conclusively proved. Yes, many beings have tried and failed to get to the centre of All, but that could mean anything…

“You must know that you are on the verge of something big, but must ensure that Bob Cajun, your leader, attacks and destroys the Ottoman Empire. There is a very interesting man in a Constantinople Prison that you should meet, William. He can take the blinders from your eyes, and help you far more than I, humble book that I am, could ever do. I have given you the basics, and that is all I can offer. Now, if I were you, I would close my eyes, else risk losing them…”

And with that, the room grew dark, and a whooshing sound began to emanate from everywhere, all round William. He closed his eyes tightly, and felt a massive drop in pressure, and in a minute, he was back where he had entered. There were crosses etched on the inside of his eyelids. This was HUGE. More than HUGE. ENORMOUS! William tried to get up, but could not, having to steady himself, take a few deep breaths, and then he stumbled out to find Mario and Luigi. And to begin writing to Bob Cajun, back in Rome…

 

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Note: Falgars explained...

Well, because my little footnote did not transfer from MSWord to here, I will describe what 'Falgars' are

They are a measurement of Space not used on the Planet Earth, in fact only used by Entities. One Falgar is equal to roughly 82,987 Earth miles.(Notice, that is not in Metric, as my math really sucks )

If more things come up that I feel warrant description like this, I will try and so a separate post for them. Makes it easier on the eyes to read.

Oh yeah, gonna get my next installment done, I hope, by tomorrow. I hope. I hope.

 

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Sun Dried Tomatoes

Whilst William was achieving a new stage of enlightenment, I was having some trouble back home in the guise of Bob Cajun.

It is 1586, and rebels are in Lithuania, Krakow, and all over, order is not as good as it has to be. I have a plan, but for it to work, I need excellent order. As such, all investments will be placed into restoring stability. I have not heard from William in quite a while, and I secretly hope he is alright. I know I am looking ahead, but I wonder if I can find a way to actually transfer him from this dimension to the next one, when I take the reigns of another nation? I hope it is possible, and I do not face the troubles I had with Sir Runnybottom and Insert Name Here. That was unpleasant. Very much so…

April 1st is quite the Day of Fools in Apulia, as some ungrateful peasants decide that they are not wholly appreciative of my enlightened rule. Damn! I cannot please everyone, nor do I want to. Too much trouble. Yep. Yep. Yep.

The small meddling armies I have in the Core Provinces of Roma, Marche and Firenze all head towards Wallachia. Why not, my borders are secure along the western side, and really, with Russia as an ally, I have no real threat from the east, except for the Ottomans. And to the north are those Danes. Dang Danes!

For the most part, this year passes in peace. Until Prussia revolts. I really need to stop concentrating all my troops along the western borders. Does me no good when a revolt occurs in my eastern frontiers…

The revolts in Prussia and Lithuania are put down with relative ease, but a revolt in Michoagan threatens to expand into a…oh wait, it’s over.

In the perfectly ironic irony, poor government policy charges are made against me which just shoots the whole ‘pacification’ effort straight to the crapper. I love those charges! They are swell!




1587 PT



Since order is so crappy, and law is almost non-existent, I think that Law and Order is a pipe dream for a few years at least. I order a cash infusion placed into helping the restoration of order, but it is hardly enough. With what remains, I order the fort in Anatolia improved, so that it is not so decrepit. Or at least has a new coat of paint on it. I mean, whoever heard of having orange walls? I don’t know…

Merchants sent to Venetia are told to grab as many blinds as they can, so that I can shutter myself inside, and let the chaos outside pass me by. Or at least allow me to sleep in peace. Stinking torches flicker too damn much! Distracting! Very distracting!

Ha! A revolt in Smolensk just shows me how thinly stretched my forces are. And I need to make sure I pay off, er I mean, show my friendship to my allies…



1588 PT



Well, I once again order investment into order. I also send a missionary to Brandenburg, and hope to hell that it works out. It had better!

Oh, and a ‘gift’ is made to Russia, a fancy state one, which improves relations somewhat, but more could not hurt. A personal one, gift that is, is sent to France. That should keep them happy for at least a while.

There has to be something about those Poles. They are revolting almost every month, and it is really annoying! Ah heck, I may just have to redistribute some of my forces…



1589 PT



It is time again for the DPC, and I decide that the narrow-minded thinking that is currently employed throughout the realm is not good. Be more innovative! Do it![+1 to Innovativeness]

I also buy mercenaries in Kurland, Belarus, Polotsk, Smolensk and Welikia. That should take care of those provinces, maybe ease the threat of revolts there.

And with what remains after buying those expensive mercenaries, I give Russia a State Gift, France a personal one, and Venice a fancy letter. They serve their purpose. Everyone likes me more! Yay!

On June 28th, I decide that Scotland has existed for far too long, and I plan to put an end to it. They get Guyenne and Genoa to join them. More land for me and my allies. Ha!

Lothian is placed under siege by 45,000 Robes, and Gascogne is placed under siege by 20,000 Robes. I may have horrible order, but I will be gaining some land soon enough. Should be a good deal, eh?

Although there are problems with the armies heading for Kerch, it is not something I am overly afraid of. I have faith.

The year is one long siege. B-O-R-I-N-G!



1590 PT



Well, I order investments in Order and the Navy. That should do it. Aye…

The year begins badly, with revolts all throughout the Polish provinces. Damn.

It is not until May 28th that Scotland falls, is annexed, and leaves Genoa, Guyenne and the Knights at war with me and my allies, as well as Denmark and her allies. Ha!

And isn’t it always the same? Lothian revolts, and forces my conquering armies to retreat to the Grampians. Ha!

As this year drags on, I am gladdened to hear word that the armies in Kerch and Guyenne are assaulting the forts there, even using Danish troops in Guyenne! Oh the irony is delicious. Tastes like chicken. Yum!

On the 16th of July, Brittany joins the war with Guyenne and the Knights. This is too much! I order troops from Limousin, Auvergne, Calais, Caux, Lorraine and Champagne. All told, around 85,000 Robes are marching for Brittany. I really hope that I can take most of Brittany before they make peace.

On August 14th, after one final assault, the fortress in Gascogne falls, and Guyenne is annexed. And get this, the Knights have a force in Poitou attacking my armies there! Wow! Talk about a long trip!

Oh damn! Portugal is no more? When did that happen? Spain swallowed them up whole, making Spain all the more powerful! Damn!

In Kerch, the assault fails, and the Genoa force that marches in to relieve their beleaguered comrades score a victory. I need to divert more troops to that theatre of war, or is it a backyard stage?

On the 28th of September, a new Pope. Calls himself Gregorius XIV. Ok, just don’t get in my way, all right?

To celebrate the new Pope, Bohemia and Polotsk raise their voices in anger, revolt, and make life for the troops in those provinces a living hell. Lovely.

On the 9th of November, more in an admission of my non-existent Med Fleet, I accept peace from the Knights. A status quo.

On December 22nd, Armor falls, and the other two Brittany provinces will fall soon enough. Of the 85,000 Robes sent in, a quarter have lost their lives in the assaults and pitched battles against the damned Brittany armies. A quarter! Damn! I need to focus more and more on the army, as these losses are not good at all!




1591 PT



Well, this year starts off with a bang, for in February the last two Brittany provinces fall. Although I offer to take Armor and Bretagne, make them my vassals, they refuse. Oh well.

Kerch falls as well, mainly due to the fact I take 15,000 Robes that are in the Unnamed Province and send them to help in the attacks. I also send a few armies, totaling 12,345 Robes as reinforcements to ensure I can take Kerch. Now, Kaffa.

April 8th, a tavern just outside Nantes. Two men sit at a table, and one passes the other a sheet of parchment. The man signs the parchment, hangs his head in disgust, and looks in surprise as a purple sack is placed in front of him. Brittany is to cede Armor and Bretagne as well as grant military access to the Papal States. A smashing success. All that remains is Genoa.

May 23rd sees Genoa send a diplomat, hoping to end the hostilities. After making him wait for a long while, I bring him in, and tell him: “Give me Kerch and Kaffa, and I’ll call off the hounds.”

The diplomat accepts, and I now have the entire Crimean area under Empire control. Well, yes, Venice has control of some of the land there, but still, they are my allies, and as such, a part of the Empire.

On May 23rd, I decide that those Aztecs have enjoyed their autonomy for too long. I will fix that. A declaration of war is sent out(actually, the troops just start marching into the Aztec province, and send the declaration later.) and troops from Saltillo and Tampico are sent in to end the Aztec existence. All that gold! Hot damn!

June 1st sees news that the navy has been improved. It is still as primitive as the land locked primitive tribes, but it’s getting better, right? [Naval Tech 6 reached, only 10 techs behind the most advanced.]

Damn cities! Old Rights? I’ll give them Old Rights up the wazoo!

Well, at least there is good news from the Aztec front. August 26th sees the defeat and annexing of the Aztec nation. All that gold is now mine! All mine! Gold! Gold!

Although those sneaky Spaniards try to get into Tampico, I am ready, and a force of some 10,000 Robes arrives there just as the Spanish are about to leave. The Spanish are defeated. Slaughtered to a man. Severs them right! Ha! Ah ha!

On the 18th of October, a new Pope. What? Already? Calls himself Incestuous, wait, Innocentius IX. What kind of person calls themselves by that name? So easy to mistake it for that nasty version. Oh well, let him get yelled at.



1592 PT



Hey! I warned him! New Pope. Clemens VIII. Good name for a Pope, but the guy is a moron. Not an inhabitant of the province, but an actual moron.

I give State Gifts to France, Venice and Russia. It costs me 400 ducats to do so, but it is worth it. With what remains, I call up troops in the Polish provinces, as many as I can. I wonder if a move against the Iroquois is not called for soon. To secure my borders there, you know.

I decide that the fleet in Roanoke, all 19 warships, should be over here, closer to Denmark, who is my next target. Oops! Did I say ‘target’? I meant friend! Ya! Friend. That should keep them happy while I slip the knife in their back. Oops! Never mind…



1593 PT


I have more money than I know what to do with. Forts in Manhattan and…

What?! Venice decides to become our vassals?! What the heck did you pour in their drinks and where can I get more of it?!

Ok, well, that changes a great many things. I actually have Venice as vassals(hey! That’s alliteration!)

Ok, ok. So, forts in Manhattan and Delaware. Settlers to Chesapeake, Roanoke, Santee, Manicouagan and Belle Isle. A trader sent to increase Papal presence in Micmac. I can’t believe that I actually got Venice to be my vassals! Wow! Hey, what if I asked France as well? I don’t know.

Ok, so I do not have the best relations with France, but I will next year! Hoo yeah!

January 19th sees the fleet from Roanoke arrive in Zeeland. 31 warships, 4 transports that goes under the moniker of the ‘Holland Fleet’ heads to Jutland. Denmark is next!

The settlers all arrive safely, and I can look forward to sending more next year.

On September 7th, a wagonload of bad ale gets into the general populace in several taverns throughout Lithuania province resulting in 1,000 deaths. I blame the Rebels that are lying in wait in the realm. They all are out to get me…Paranoid?! I’m not paranoid. Just acutely aware.



1594 PT



This year starts out with troops being ferried over with the Holland Fleet transporting some 30,000 troops to Tampico. It will take a while, but I can wait. I want those provinces protected so that I can strike at Spain whenever I need to…

As well, the fort in Tenochtitlan is improved. [Level 3 ordered]

State gifts are given to our new vassals Venice, and also to France(which I hope will become our vassals soon enough. Please?) and a letter is given to Russia. They cannot be made vassals, but still, I should keep on friendly terms with them. Right?

August 24th sees a polite offer of vassalization made to France, which is flatly refused. Maybe I have to take over more land? Maybe that will show them the only way to do this is through succumbing to the might of Bob.



1595 PT



Troops are order along the French border, and a State gift is given to France. Maybe I can threaten them into vassalage. I also order settlers to Roanoke and Santee. Why not? I want that North American continent to fly the Papal flag. And it will! Soon! Very soon!

The rest of this year is spent in slumber. I am tired. Too much staring at these parchments.



1596 PT



Well, the fort in Roanoke is upgraded from nothing to something. [Level 1 ordered] Delaware gets a better fort as well. I will build a wall of stone and dirt against the native hordes. [Level 3 fort ordered]

Santee, Roanoke and Chesapeake get settlers sent to them.

Troops are called up in Delaware and Manhattan, and the Holland Fleet, that has made one trip to Tampico and back now heads for Manhattan to ferry troops over. I will eliminate the native nations, tribes, here and then laugh as I hold an entire continent under my control. That is for the next century…

The Army is improved as well, thus showing the World how Good my Robes are.[Land Tech 20 reached January 1st]

On February 1st, I am informed that our trade efficiency has improved to the point that trade embargoes can now be placed on any undesirables, like Spain. [Trade Tech 4 reached]



1597 PT



The Fort in Tampico is order improved, as it seems that Spain has a particular interest in it. As well, Roanoke gets orders to improve their fort.[ Level 3 for Tampico, level 2 for Roanoke]

Settlers are sent to Santee, Chesapeake and Manicouagan, and traders are sent to Penobscot, Bangor and Micmac. With what remains, I give a personal gift to France and Venice, and a letter to Russia. I am almost ready to attack those native tribes in North America. Almost…

 

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More screenies!

Here ya go, more screenies!

In no particular order...

Chinese holdings in South America. I wonder whether they have anything that is obscured by the TI?

Those Russians! Sending fleets to help me out! Eh!

Look! Those sneaky Turks have troops all the way over here. Why are you you far from home, Turkish turey turks?

And here, here is my crowning achievement! If you look carefully, you can see I asked Champa for their maps. Why? Why not? I asked Venice for a lard to be my vassals. Who knew?

 

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Yip, yip, yip

A messenger enters Bob Cajun’s ‘office’ and bows to the acknowledged leader of the Papal Empire.

“Milord, I bring a message from William of Baskerville.”

The messenger handed Bob the message, with the wax seal unbroken. It had not been read by any other eyes save William’s.

Bob,

I have news for you! I just heard from the Voice, and it bade me to implore you to take Constantinople. There is a man in the prisons under there that will aid greatly in the search for the Comfy Chair™ and perhaps even in our study and search of Void. I would ask that every effort be made to take eliminate the Ottomans completely, so that we can rescue this man. I will await your decision, wait here in this monastery until I hear if Constantinople has fallen to the Papal Robes.

Yours Faithfully,
William of Baskerville



Well, this is interesting. I wonder what this Voice is? I have never heard of it before. Maybe another thing that Bob Death is having hidden from him. Well, I will make an effort to take out the Ottomans. As soon as I can.

It is 1597, and I decide that war will be made now. Better sooner than later, eh?

So! January 5th sees a declaration of war sent to the Ottomans. They get Morocco, Algiers, the Kaliphate and Nogai. Those last two are impossible to reach, and Algiers and Morocco may cause some trouble, but I doubt it. I will focus solely on the Ottomans.

Troops head from Albania, Macedonia, Kosovo, Serbia, Bosnia, Wallachia, Moldova, Jedisan and Anatolia. Roughly 150,000 Robes all told are heading in to eliminate the Ottoman threat.

Hellas is the first province to be assaulted. The fort there is so small that I doubt it will be much trouble to deal with.

Bujak is the next province, and battles rage in Thrace, just outside the walls of Constantinople, between 14,000 Robes and 19,000 Ottomans. In Smyrna, 13,000 Robes battle 15,000 Ottomans. It is certainly going to be an interesting war.

On the 10th of February, peace is made with Algiers, Morocco, Nogai and Kaliphate. Seems the Ottomans are losing their allies faster than a drunk loses his beer.

On the 16th of the same month, the Hedjaz offers peace. Well, it matters not who the Ottomans ask to protect them. They will all make peace and watch the Ottoman Empire burn. Hellas adds insult to this fact as the assault there succeeds, and the army is ordered to move onwards, to Morea. Thrace is under siege, Smyrna is under siege, Bulgaria, Bujak and Dobrudja are all being assaulted, and I feel that this war will be over soon enough, unless something unexpected happens. I need to eliminate the Ottomans as soon as I can. I want to meet this ‘wise man prisoner’ who will enlighten both William and myself as to what part he plays in the Comfy Chair™ search.

April 2nd sees Rumelia fall to a hardy assault, and the troops there are sent to help in the assault on Constantinople. Morea, Bujak, Bulgaria, Smyrna and Dobrudja are all still under siege after assaults failed to give them the forts and the provinces. They will attack again as soon as they can, and when they have taken those provinces, they will move towards the east, and this war will be over. But for now, I will wait and see. Wait and see.

April 23rd sees Constantinople fall to assault as well as Bujak. The forces outside Constantinople split into two armies of 30,000 Robes each, one heading for Konya, the other heading for Smyrna. The force from Bujak heads for Angora. Everything is going according to plan.

Smyrna falls just as the clock strikes 12 on the 30th of May, and the Robes there head for Antalya. Reinforcements from Croatia arrive in Bulgaria to aid in the assault there.

Those reinforcements turn the tide, and Bulgaria falls in June 12th. The Robes there head for Taurus, and the western half of the Ottoman ‘Empire’ is under Papal rule. Seems that our troops are so far advanced that they are not having any trouble dealing with the Janissaries.

In a show of how superior the Papal Robes are in comparison to what the Ottomans can field, it takes exactly 8 days 12 hours to assault and capture the fort in Konya. Onwards to Adana.

In an interesting twist, Russia takes over the siege in Dobrudja, and takes the province for themselves. If they can make a separate peace with the Ottomans, it will help my cause, for certain.

Antalya falls, and it is only a matter of time before I can offer the Ottomans a disastrous peace, for them, not me.

Taurus falls on September 25th, and the troops there head for Adana, as the assault there failed on its first attempt. Not again.

Thos reinforcements from Taurus quickly engulf the Ottoman defenders in Adana, and the fort falls. Now for Angora.

November 28th sees Kastamonu fall, and with Angora under siege, all that remains is Sivas. After that, I will offer the Ottomans a crippling peace.



1598 PT


I do not call up any troops this year. Instead, the fort in Anatolia is ordered improved.[Level 3 ordered]

On arch 23rd, Sivas falls, and I can now ask for anything I want in the way of peace.

Finally, on July 15th, Morea falls. It was the last Ottoman province, and with the fall of it, I control every Ottoman province, save Dobrudja, which I hope Russia will grab before I make peace. I hope.

I can only wait now, see what the Ottomans will offer me in the way of peace. I am patient. Let’s see what the will offer me to spare them.



1599 PT



The DPC comes around again, and I decide that being less close-minded is better in the long run.[+1 to Innovativeness]

Of course, I am also accused of Poor Government policies, which does nothing foe me. Oh well, I will have to deal with it. I guess.

Tampico! A force of close to 38,000 Spaniards tries to attack me there. I am glad I ferried over those troops before hand, as they know prevent the Spaniards from taking that province from me. If only I was not at war with the Ottomans, I could teach these Spaniards a lesson.

I still await peace with the Ottomans. Why are they waiting? What could they be planning?



1600 PT



I decide that investments in Trade, Order and the Infrastructure of the realm are more important than calling up more troops.

I offer the Ottomans peace, and they refuse. Why? I only asked for every province they had. It’s not like I was being unfair!

In Transylvania six 5,000… Damn! I mean the ‘unnamed province’. Ok, so in the unnamed province new land is claimed, allowing for 2,500 more souls to call that place their home. I won’t be caught saying that provinces name again. No sir. Nuh uh.

On the 10th of February, a man calling himself Giordano Bruno is brought before me. He has made fun of blindly following religion, and I agree. I order that his life be spared. The world needs more laughter. [- 2 to Stab, +1 to innovativeness]

I offer peace again to the Ottomans, and they refuse. I will not hesitate to wait 10 years for peace if I have to.



1601 PT



This year. This year. I want peace, but will not accept anything less than a crushing defeat for the Ottomans.
I order settlers sent to Macquarie, Gambia, Santee, Chesapeake and Manicouagan. No troops. I do not need them.

I give State Gifts to Venice and France, and a Personal gift to Russia. Might as well, little else for me to do until the Ottomans come to their collective senses.

Well, finally, on November 12th, I am able to cajole a peace treaty out of the Ottomans. I take control of Morea, Hellas, Bulgaria, Rumelia, Smyrna, Kastamonu and Angora. Rest assured, in five years, when the truce is over, I will take even more of their land. And when that happens, I will be damned if I will let them get off so easy.



1602 PT



Well, the new provinces need protection. The forts in Smyrna and Angora are increased [Level 3 and 2 respectively].

Troops return from their battles in Sivas, and take up position in Angora. I will have to watch for revolts, make certain that they do not spiral out of control.

On August 28th, in what came to be known as the ‘First Native Wars’, war was declared against Lenape. They brought the Iroquois and Shawnee into the conflagration, but in a move that some openly questioned, I decided to go it alone. Let the Russians, French and Venetians have a break from the constant warfare.

Susquehanna falls on October 25th, and Lenape is no longer a threat. Now onwards to the Iroquois lands. I split the force in Susquehanna, send half to Shenandoah and the other half to Oswego. This should be very fun.

Tuscarora falls, the first Iroquois province to do so, and the forces there are split into two groups, one heading for the Iroquois capital and the other for Irondekoit. I will wait until all three Native tribes are defeated before making peace with any of them. I want to annex all of them.

The main Iroquois force, some 24,000 Braves, meets a force of some 20,000 Robes in Shenandoah and the Battle of the Tree is fought. In the centre of this battlefield was a massive Oak tree, and afterwards, the bodies would be piled so high they would rename it the Tree of the Dead.

The total losses amount to almost 20,000 for both sides combined. But in the end, it is the Robes who assault the fort there.

In rapid succession, Mohawk falls, Oswego falls, Onondaga is placed under siege and Irondekoit is taken. Erie is next. The Shawnee have not made any attempts to help their allies and so, 25,000 Shawnee warriors wait the force of some 12,000 Robes…


1603 PT



The First Native War rages on as forts in Santee, Chesapeake and Roanoke are improved. [Level 1 for Santee and Chesapeake, level 3 for Roanoke]

I also order settlers sent to Gambia and Manicouagan. As for troops, some reinforcements are called up in Manhattan and Delaware. That is all.

On February 5th, Shenandoah falls, and all that remains is Onondaga. When that province falls, the Iroquois will be no more.

February 24th sees Onondaga fall, and the Iroquois Confederacy is annexed. I gain close to 30,000 Braves in the peace process. Wow.

Erie falls, and the 50,000 men that are there are split into two groups. One heads for Hindua, the other for Miamis. I feel that this war will be over soon enough. I hope.

On the 13th of May, Miamis falls and 5 days later, Kentucky falls. Now all that needs to be done is demand they join the Holy Empire.

On the 22nd of May, the Shawnee nation ceases to exist and within a week, Lenape follows. This war was a resounding success. Although 32,000 Robes were lost, all told, close to 35,000 Braves were gained in the peace. So it sort of evens itself out.

The rest of the year is spent in quiet contemplation…



1604 PT



I wonder what I should do with all the funds I have? Well, for now, I will take a break, ponder what I should do…

 

[Brad1]

I am just wondering but how long do you think it will take you to conquer all of the World. I wager June 12, 1798.

 

[Brad1]

Also Congratulations on winning second for the funniest AAR. I voted for you.

 

[unmerged(2540)]

Thanks, Brad1

Thanks for the vote. If only I had voted 8 more times for myself, I would have won that

As for World Cnquest, I figure all nations by 1800, yeah. I really want to keep the alliance, as it is a perfect one. Covers all of Europe, as well as the colonies. As for the unclaimed provinces, well, it will be tight. If I can get into North Africa(Morocco, Algiers, Marmeluks) then I will be able to make some serious gains. Same goes if I can get Spain under my thumb...

Next instalment will be coming soon. And be prepared for an incredible bombshell. Sufficed to say that your jaw will drop to the floor. But I've said too much already.

 

[Carolus Rex]

Re: Thanks, Brad1

Originally posted by Honour_Shogun

Next instalment will be coming soon. And be prepared for an incredible bombshell. Sufficed to say that your jaw will drop to the floor. But I've said too much already.

So post it now u silly thing.

 

[unmerged(2540)]

Ready to be shocked! I bet you are!

With all of the funds that are coming in due to the massive size of the Holy Empire, I decide that the forts in Apulia, Albania, Bulgaria and Kastamonu will be improved. [Level 2 for all of them save Kastamonu, which gets a level 3 fort ordered]

I also order tax reforms in Angora, Rumelia, Hellas and Morea. That will give me even more funds to play with. I must think about who I will attack next. The Ottomans are ripe for destruction, as soon as the 5 year waiting period is over.

I give Venice a State gift, in order to show them they are my most important vassals, because they are my only vassals.

I wait, and silently count down until the truce ends with the Ottomans.

August 1st 1604 sees news that the already impressive Armed Forces have been improved once again.[Level 21 Land Tech reached]

I decide that I will place investments into infrastructure, simply to allow me to research chief judges for all of the provinces, which will reel in more and more funds for me to play with every year. I have no choice, really.



1605 PT



With the new funds that come in, I wait a month, let the treasurer send out merchants to wherever and order troops in all of the Ottoman provinces, as well, I order the fort in Angora improved.[Level 3 ordered]

On the 7th of March, a new Pope. Paulus V. He is competent in diplomatic matters, but is an administrative moron. Oh well, can’t win them all, can you?



1606 PT



By next year, I will be at war with the Ottomans. As such, troops are called up all along the Ottoman border. I will be prepared.

For this year, the fort in Manicouagan is actually built.[Level 1 ordered]

As well, settlers are sent to Macquarie and Gambia. With what remains in the treasury, I give France, Russia and Venice all State Gifts. Let’s see those relations improve.



1607 PT



January 6th. The messenger is sent to the Ottomans with the letter telling them they are now at war with the Holy Empire. And although they get all of their allies, Morocco, Algiers, the Kaliphate and Nogai, into the battle, they are screwed. They are being beat by the Persians as well, and so they have no chance at survival.

I order the fort in Anatolia improved, to be the most advanced fort in all of Europe.[Level 4 ordered]

January 19th sees Poland declare themselves to be Counter-Reformed Catholics, and I offer them entry into the Holy Alliance. They agree. Ha! They’ll soon be my vassals or be annexed. Either way is good for me.

On February 6th the fort in Bujak falls, and so the true battle begins. It will be a battle to see who can grab which provinces before the Ottomans fall to pieces. The Persians and Marmelukes are trying to grab as much land as they can, and I cannot allow that. That land belongs to me!

Konya, Antalya and Taurus fall in quick succession as the war goes on, and although the Persians have captured both Sivas and Adana, I am certain that even if they get those two provinces, it will still make my position all the more powerful.

After many assaults, Constantinople falls, and I learn only then that the Persians took Adana and the Ottomans have only Sivas left in their control.



1608 PT



I do nothing this year. I have all the Ottoman provinces under my control and although I send out offers of peace that require the Ottomans to give me land and Russia land that has not even been conquered yet(in Nogai, specifically Alga) they refuse me. What?!

Finally, in September, I make an offer to the Ottomans. Bujak, Antalya, Sivas, Taurus and Konya. They come to me. In exchange, I make peace with the Ottomans, until the new truce ends, and then I will annex the Ottomans completely. Ha!



1609 PT



Time for the DPC, and also, news that Russia could very well take the Ottoman Capital. Crap. I know that there is a prisoner I have to meet in one of the prisons under the streets of Constantinople, and send a message explaining such to the Russian Czar. Thankfully, he agrees that should he take the Ottoman capital, I will be allowed to travel there and speak with this prisoner. He even goes so far as to suggest no prisoner will be harmed at all. I am glad that ours is such a good relationship. All those State Gifts were good for something…

Ah yes, the DPC. More Offensive minded focus. Screw defense.[+1 to Offensive Slider]

As well, troops are called in all of the new provinces, and tax reforms are ordered for Santee and Chesapeake. More money for me! Yippee!

March 1st sees news that the Navy is somewhat better. Ok, I guess. [Naval Tech 7 reached]

May 5th sees me ask Venice if the want to give up their statehood to join with the Papal lands. They refuse. I guess I will live with them being my vassals. It isn’t so bad.

The rest of the year is spent hoping that the Russians can take Constantinople.



1610 PT


This year sees me decide to order forts in Sivas, Angora and Taurus. Why not? I think that Persia makes for an excellent target, or even the Marmeluks. I will have to wait and see. [Level 2 for Taurus and Sivas, Level 4 for Angora]

Still, I wait and watch the events in Constantinople…



1611 PT


Well, in a move that causes some trouble amongst the new additions to the Papal Empire, I order troops called up all along the Northern Border, in the hopes I can move against Denmark soon. Anatolia revolts, throwing that area into disarray. I move troops there to quell the trouble, but I may have to let it simmer if I plan to attack Denmark soon…

On July 22nd, I make my move. Although Russia, Venice and France join me in my war against Denmark, Sweden and Norway, Poland does not join me. They will suffer, dearly.

The Holland Fleet, all 31 warships and 4 transports sets up in the Skaggerack, and begins to ferry troops over. Only 23,000 at a time, but hopefully they can get enough over to take Norway out quickly, so that Russia and I can split Sweden in two.

The Fleet in Belle Isle, the North Sea Squadron, with 4 warships and 5 transports, head to gather up troops to assault Iceland. No sense in allowing the Norwegians to have any land left, eh?

On the 27th of September, Sjaelland falls to a furious assault. I have pulled almost every available troop from Northern Europe to partake in this war. I would guess that close to 250,000 Robes, all told, can be brought to bear in this war, if I am ready to risk revolts in other areas. If not, cut that number in half, only 125,000 Robes. Well, I will see how this war goes.

In Ostlandet, troops have engaged a Norwegian force, and I want to see the reinforcements on the Holland fleet, 23,000 of them arrive and aid in the battle there. I will have to wait.



1612 PT



In Ostlandet, I am dismayed to hear the original force was defeated, sent running into Sweden, to Vastergotland province. Oh well, they lay siege to the fort there. The reinforcements arrive, beat the Norwegian force there, and assault the fort. I send 38,000 Robes onto the ferries this time, filling them so full that if any ship should sink, it would result in 1,000 or more deaths. Of course, disease may do that for me while the troops are sitting on the ship, waiting to go ashore. Win some, lose some.

January 1st sees what I have been waiting for. Chief Judges can now be placed in every region. I immediately order them in Holstein, Mecklemburg, Bremen, Oldenburg, Friesen, Holland, Geldre, Zeeland and Brabant. I will keep ordering them until every province has one. It may weaken the army in the short run, but in the long run, it will allow me to wreak Holy Havoc on the planet. It’ll be fun! Yep it will!

March 1st sees news that the Navy is improving even as I use them to ferry troops over. Wonderful![Naval Tech 7 reached. I am getting a +16 for neighbour bonus! Wow!]

As the war drags on, I am glad to learn that in Norway, Ostlandet fell, and shortly afterwards, Bergenshus and Trondelag fall. In Sweden, things go good as well.

The Norwegian provinces suffer from ancient forts, and so, although they may have cold weather as their ally, it matters not. By June, Narvik is under attack, and the Holland Fleet has 15,000 Robes loaded and ready as it heads for Iceland. Norway will be gone soon enough…



1613 PT



The war with Norway is ending, as Iceland falls to a furious assault. I ask for all the Norwegian provinces and for them to convert to Catholic. The refuse. Next time, I’ll simply ask them for the provinces.

Sweden and Denmark are also fairly well under heel. It will take me some more troop ferrying to completely knock them out, but it is possible…

On February 6th, I ask Norway for Bergenshus, Trondelag, Iceland, Jamtland, Narvik and Finnmark,. I get them.

In an effort to totally defeat Sweden, I order troops to march through Russian lands, and hit Sweden from the East, or is it West? I always get confused. I hit Sweden in Savolaks, Nyland, Finland and Savolaks, but Sweden attacks my possessions in Jamtland, Vastergotland and in Lappland. That area is dicey. I only hope it will all work out.

The battles are fierce, and I find myself pouring more and more Robes into this war with Sweden as Denmark has only Skane and Gotland left to offer any real resistance. Most of my armies I had in Poland as protection against revolts have been ordered into Swedish lands. This war is getting way too costly.

Well, the Robes march slowly across Sweden, taking a province by province. By December, all that remains are Gastrikland, Svealand and Bergslagen.

Then again, the Swedes have Gustav II Adolf leading them, and so, my Robes keep getting pushed back. Oh well. I decide that the fort in Narvik needs to actually be built[Level 1 ordered] as well, chief judges are ordered in all of the new Norwegian provinces, as well troops are called up wherever possible, and more and more troops are being marched through Russia heading for Gastrikland. I will make damn certain that even if it costs me 100,000 Robes, I will make Sweden pay dearly.

As for Denmark, Gotland has been taken, and all that remains is Skane, which should fall soon enough. The Holland Fleet has been performing more than admirably. Lost 5 warships, but that is understandable. In fact, I will reinforce them with 15 warships when this war is over! They deserve it!



1615 PT



So, after how many lives have been lost, how many countless hours spent pacing, have I won the day versus Denmark? I would say getting Skane, Gotland, Morbihan(?), Ingermanland and Olonets is as good as I could possibly ask for. Now for Sweden.

I keep calling up chief Judges. Only being able to call up 9 at a time means it will take me a very long time to get every province to have one in them. Ah well, what can I do?

On June 3rd, 1615, I am informed that the Ottoman Empire has ceased to exist. The Russians took it, and their Czar sent me an invitation to head there. I do so immediately. Let the Swedes offer whatever peace they will, and accept it. I also send my fastest messenger to go and meet with William. I will meet him in Constantinople. And then we shall see what this ‘prisoner’ has to offer us about the Comfy Chair™ and the Void. It had better be worth it. Or else!



1616 PT



Because I am not there, the offer made to Sweden, for Nyland, Savolaks, Osterbotten, Lappland and Vastergotland is not what I would have offered, but it has the desired effect. Peace for now with Sweden. Denmark and Norway are going to be eliminated soon enough, but for Sweden, something special has been planned. But not now…

Traveling to Constantinople is surprisingly difficult. Several attempts are made on my life. Of course, it would have no effect, but still, it’s the thought that counts. So it is that instead of taking 4 months to get from Roma to Constantinople, it takes almost a year and a half….


1617 PT



As the orders are sent out to implement Chief Judges in all the new Swedish provinces, I am in Constantinople now, being led down a small stairway, watching as the light from the torches flicker against the wall. William had arrived a few weeks before me, but was not allowed in to see the prisoner. On orders from the Russian Czar. I smile as I see him brought out, wondering what exactly he thinks of these delightful Turkish prisons?

“Hallo! William! How are you, noble friend!”

William does not recognize me at first, his eyes have grown so accustomed to the darkness, as he was loathe to leave the guardroom, for fear that the prisoner would be misplaced, killed or worse.

“Yes? Bob? Bob Cajun? Is that you?”

I laugh, and slap him on the back. It is good to see him. It has been far too long since last we spoke face to face… I think, perhaps since I sent him out oh so long ago.

“Yes, William! It is I! Bob Cajun! Come! Let us meet this prisoner, see what he has to tell us, eh?”

And so, William and I were lead down the winding staircase, until we were what seemed like 20 or 30 feet underground. A single cell stood at the end of a long hallway. As William and I walked down towards it, I noticed that the walls here were little more than dirt. It was almost as though this might have been a tunnel before, and had been turned into a prison hallway as an afterthought.

“What do you think this prisoner has to tell us, eh William?”

William only mumbled, and shuffled his feet as he lurched forward. It seemed that immortality was finally catching up to him. Pity, I thought.

The jailor led us to the cell, and produced a single glowing key from his grimy clothing. He placed it near the lock, and the lock opened as if by magic. William showed some signs of life, as did I.

“’ Ere Guv. I’ll leave yews alone wit ‘im. But don’t try anyfing silly, else I’ll have to lock yews up as well, got it?”

I smiled bemusedly at this man’s idle threats. I nodded though. This far from Moscow, I doubt even the Czar could guarantee our complete safety if these grubby jail guards decided that we were too much of a burden. And I would hate to have to reveal my true identity because of some simpleminded guard.

“Right! ‘Ere you go, guv. Call when yew want me to let yew out, right?”

I nodded, and William and I entered the prison cell. An ancient man sat in one corner, shaved head and soiled green robes.

He did not even seem to notice us, but just as I began to speak, he spoke. It was a low growl, and at first I did not hear what he was saying.

“…out….me out…let me out…Cybil, let me out…bitch, Cybil let me out…you bitch Cybil let me out… YOU BITCH! CYBIL! LET! ME! OUT!”

What? What was this about Cybil? Not my Cybil? I spoke up.

“Sir, who is Cybil? What are you talking about?”

The old man stood up now, and his eyes glowed a brilliant ice blue. Lightning danced across his face. He snarled.

“ GOD! You FOOL! GOD!”

I gasped. This man knew about Cybil? What the blazes was going on here? I decided to ask this man what his name was.

“Sir! What is your name? Who are you?”

The man choked back a growl and smiled. He had no teeth. No gums. Just bone.

“My name? My name?! My NAME?!…It is Ank…Sa…Khul!”

What?! It couldn’t be! Wasn’t Ank-Sa-Khul supposed to be an entity that had been banished a long time ago? What the blazes was going on? I had to get Cybil and Doug down here. This was B-I-G!

 

[unmerged(2540)]

Surprised eh?

I thought to let people respond as to what they thought about this new revelation, but seeing how no one is, I'll struggle onwards Or is it backwards? I am such a dimwitted directionless guy


____________


Ank-Sa-Khul…Ank-Sa-Khul…Ank-Sa-Khul…Ank-Sa-Khul…The name echoed in his mind. Bob Death was dumbfounded. How was this possible? Hadn’t the Elder Triad been banished? It was time for action. Bob pulled William aside.

“Listen to me, I have to go and make some inquiries. Stay here! Do not let him out of your sight, do not let him get to you. He may try and smooth you over with kind words. E is lying! Do not trust him! I must go!”

And with that, the jailor reappeared, key in hand, and let Bob out of the cell. Bob did not even nod to the jailor. He simply ran. And ran. And ran.

When he had left the prison, he tried to find an alleyway somewhere, a quiet, dark alley. He was in luck, as he soon came upon one that was deserted. He turned in, and hid himself in the darkest corner. His body became very rigid, and his eyes glazed over. Bob Cajun was no more, at least for now. Bob Death had left his shell, and was rushing upwards to speak with Cybil and Doug…

When Bob Death reached the gates to Heaven™ he pushed aside the doorman, and rushed in. He had to find Cybil and Doug. Had to tell them what he had seen. Had heard. Had felt.

In as loud as voice as he could muster, Bob Death screamed out “ C-Y-B-I-L!!!!!”

The guests in Heaven™ all turned from their tables, slots, from their games, and stared at Bob. There was a ‘whoosh’ and Bob found himself in Cybil’s office. Cybil sat behind a huge desk, and Doug stood right next to her.

“What is it? Bob? Why do you look like you saw yourself in a mirror?”

Bob took a deep breath, and explained what had happened in the Constantinople prison cell. As he continued, both Doug and Cybil started to turn pale. At the mention of Ank-Sa-Khul, both Cybil and Doug nearly fell over. Cybil shook her head as Doug spoke up.

“No, no, no! This is impossible! The Elder Triad were banished! How the hell does one of them appear in the form of a human? That makes no sense! We…we…we need to go and meet his ‘prisoner’.”

Cybil could only nod numbly. And so, the trio went down, Bob back to his Bob Cajun form, Doug into the form of a dashing young noble and Cybil into the form of a beautiful princess. Cybil muttered some words, and an eclipse shrouded the land in darkness. The trio left the secluded alley and headed back to the prison. They would get to the bottom of this….

Meanwhile, the Papal Empire continued to surge forward…

 

[unmerged(2540)]

Whimper, whimper, whimper...

I have a question: Are people following this anymore? Seems people have either moved on to bigger, better things, or given this AAR up for dead. I just want to know, if people are no longer interested in this, I will let it die. If people desperately want it to continue, then it will. If you have something you want to see in it(like flying camel dung ) then let me know, and I can work it in(ok, not flying laser guided camel dung. I have to be somewhat realistic, don't I? )

Ok, I'll leave this post up for a bit, if no one responds, I'll let this AAR die.

 

[Valandil]

Please don’t go. What would I do with my time if I couldn’t read about the monks of war marching hither and yon over the hills and valleys of Europe? Or the hapless adventures of Mario and Luigi? Or the heart-rending account of Mr. Robert Death Esq.'s attempt to come to terms with his deep, dark Past? Eagerly awaiting new revelations and surprises in future installments. This is very funny, and very interesting. Thank you for your contribution to human society.

Christo Duce Vincamus!

 

[unmerged(6954)]

please keep it going

 

[Storey]

You want to stop just when things are getting interesting? Please continue.

Joe

 

[unmerged(2540)]

I knew it!

See! f you sulk enough, people listen! Ah ha!(Not the musical group, BTW) You fell for "Ye Olde I am stopping my Story" Tricke!

Score:

Bob Death: 1
Everyone Else: 0

Whoo hoo!

Ok, ok, I'll continue with it. Good to know it is still appreciated(and any feedback is greatly savoured and devoured, regurgitated into small bite sized bits and sold under the label of "Regurgo! The Pre-eaten food!"

 

[Storey]

Damn I can't believe I fell for that old "I am stopping my Story" trick. Bang Bang Bang (Noise of my head beating against a wall) I'll get even.

Joe

 

[unmerged(2540)]

Ok, anyone else have trouble loading this thread?

I just tried to refresh this thread about 15 times, and it never fully showed. Huh, stupid internet! Ack!

Anyhoo, I have another bit for you to chomp on while I try and see what is goin on with my computer, or the bums who provide me internet(Yeah! Yeah you, Rogers! Stinkin Rogers! A pox on You!)

______________


As Bob, Cybil and Doug went to meet with Ank-Sa-Khul, the machinery that ran the Papal Empire continued to churn…

My name is Angasalafoorahpop or Ang for short. I find myself in the unenviable position of being the Commander-in-Chief of the whole of the Papal Empire. I have capable ministers, something that Bob Cajun never mentions. This day, January 4th, 1617 PT sees word that in the international theatre, we have reason to attack Denmark, Norway, Hungary and Sweden. Of these, Norway and Hungary are the easiest to eliminate. I send messengers to the troops in Austria, Pest and Maros to begin marching for the Hungarian capital. When it falls, Hungary will as well…

In the meantime, I am made aware of the fact that many different religions call the Papal Empire home, and trying to appease one over all others is a mistake. I aim to rectify that. Every religion will be equal. No matter the consequences…

And the consequences are felt immediately in areas around Meath, Salzburg and Armor. Although I know troops will be sent to quell these revolts, I cannot wonder if sending in missionaries is not a better course of action. I wonder how Bob does this!

Ansbach and Danzig, they too succumb to religious strife. Oh dear…

Romagna, Kustrin, so many provinces are falling into chaos. I am perturbed. Will this continue?

The year passes quickly, worrying about an Empire can be time-consuming! As the year goes on, the revolts happen less and less, which is good, I guess. I can focus on other things for the coming year…



1618 PT


I pass a special ‘bull’ that states that each provincial fort is to decide how many troops they need. Of course, this is met with joy from many provinces, as calls go out throughout the Empire for Robes. Although many can only call up 1 or 2,000 Robes, it is deemed to be enough. From now on, I will let them decide such regional matters, focus more upon the World Stage…

It seems that by allowing such things as the Army to be run by locals instead of from Rome, I have aided them in recruiting. Robes are called up across the land. And though I could call up cavalry and artillery, I feel no need. Let the world be overrun by the Robes of the Empire! Huzzah!

I enjoy this, allowing to step out from under Bob Cajun’s shadow. It seems that sometimes he thinks he is the only one to be running the Empire. Foolish! He has helpers who are ignored. But not anymore! We will be heard, be feared, be loved, be smart…


1619 PT


Ah! Once again, time for the DPC. I decide that a focus upon quality troops is imperative for our continued success! Make it so, ok? [+1 to Quality. More expensive troops, but Damn! They will be fierce!]

Forts are improved along the Swedish Border, specifically in Bergenshus, Trondelag, and Jamtland. Can you imagine, expecting a mere 5,000 souls to defend the forts there? Incredible! I think not! [Level 2 for each]

The provincial governments decide that they need troops, and all along the Baltic Sea, horns cry out for new Robes. Norway will be made to suffer, Norway, Sweden and Denmark!

However, not this year. Later on.

I do not know it, but an ocean away, trouble is brewing along the Cherokee-Papal Border. Raiding parties had been striking deep into Kentucky, destroying several villages along their destructive path. The colonial government, situated in Delaware, decides that enough is enough, and without my permission, declares war on the 4th of March. As I sit in Rome, listening to reports of movement along the Spanish border, I cannot know that a very dangerous time is approaching. I, Ang, am in the dark…





The generals, scouts and diplomats all sat in an ornate hall in the Colonial Capital City of Delaware. They were there to discuss war with the Cherokee. Due to the infusion of troops with the conquests of the Shawnee and Iroquois, they had close to 43,000 Robes and Braves to use against the Cherokee. Several of the Iroquois Chiefs, given power to speak for their people, pleaded for sneak attacks into Alleghany and Tennessee, while the Papal generals demanded direct attacks into Cherokee land. While they argued, three armies, Army of the Seven Salmon, led by Pisa, marched from Miamis into Tennessee, while the Army of the Growling Bear, led by a different Pisa, Pisa 2, marched from Kentucky into Alleghany where reports were that the Cherokee Army, with some 24,000 Braves was waiting for the chance to strike.
The third and final army, marching from Hindua, called the Army of the Wailing Forest and led by Barletta, was to march through Tennessee, killing any opposition as they went and lay siege to the Cherokee Capital in Alabama. These three Armies had around 14-15,000 Robes and Braves each. But mostly Braves.

In Alleghany, the Cherokee Army is nowhere to be seen, and so, Growling Bear assaults the fort there. Pisa 2 hopes for a quick victory, so that the Creek may be taken next.

Unfortunately for Seven Salmon and Pisa (the first) the Cherokee army had begun to march for Tennessee, and caught the Papal forces unawares. In the first few hours of fighting, both sides lost quite a few soldiers. As the battle raged on, though, more and more Cherokee Braves died and soon they were routed, sent running and Pisa (the first) started an assault on the fort there even as Wailing Forest continued its march through Miamis heading for Alabama.

Alleghany falls, as they cannot hope to compete with bows and slings versus gunpowder and trained troops. Pisa 2 stays there, knowing that he must hold the province until peace is made. The battle in Tennessee rages even as Wailing Forest engages and routs the demoralized Cherokee Army. The assault there begins, and by this time (May 30th) almost 3 months after war began, Tennessee falls to Seven Salmon, and all that remains is for Wailing Forest to take Alabama and then the Cherokee can be included in the Colonial Reach( This agency oversees most of the day to day and year to year running of all colonies in the Papal Empire. Although mostly concerned with North and Central America, it does reach to Africa in Dakar and Gambia.).

On June 15th, after a fierce war that saw many a Brave on both side killed, the Cherokee accept full and total inclusion in the Colonial Reach and in the Papal Empire. The remaining Cherokee Braves are forced to join in with Wailing Forest, bringing it to close to 25,000 Braves and Robes. Mostly Braves though…




Meanwhile, back in Europe…


The situation between Norway and the Pope deteriorates to such a state that when war is declared on June 17th, it is not a complete surprise. And though Venice initially refuses to aid the fight, a messenger brings them back into the fold with promises of wealth and gifts a plenty when the war is over.

Troops move from their positions along the Swedish Demilitarized Zone (SDZ) into Sweden and Norway, while troops from Jutland, Mecklemburg and Bremen head for the Danish capital in Sjaelland. Only Sweden is a real threat, with Wales in their possession and the very real possibility that they could cause me some difficulty. Well, Russia should aid greatly there.

Norway, without any troops, is the easiest, or so it seems, to take. The first assault by the Carpathia Regiment, from Vastergotland, fails, and so, it is a cautious time for the Robes there. In Sweden, Bergslagen, Smaland, Svealand, Vasterbotten, Wales and Tavastland all are under siege or being assaulted. Denmark, the only of the three that had a fully mobilized force ready in their capital and beat back initial the army sent in there. But the reinforcements. They were what led to the Danes undoing. Coming in, wave after wave, they simply outworked the Danes and soon, Sjaelland was under siege and the Danish Army attacked in Jutland. What future was in store for the fool Swedes, Danes and Norwegians? Only time would tell…

Vasterbotten falls first, as they have a measly 2,500 troops to protect the fort there. Pah! Not even worth the time.

Just before Christmas Eve Day ends, Norway acknowledges that Ostlandet has fallen, they have no land, their government gone, and so, they have little choice but to accept entry into the Papal Empire.

A Norwegian Fleet in the Sund, 1 warship and 4 transports, has the unfortunate luck to encounter a Swedish patrol, some 3 warships and 1 transport. They are wise, and retreat to Skane. They need repairs…

As this year passes, the provincial governments in Lorraine, Luxembourg, Koln, Kleves and Munster order chief judges to be appointed to oversee justice. In Rome, I have the luxury of sending personal gifts to France and Venice, which sees marked improvement in the relations between the two.



1620 PT



I am worried. Although I know that the Robes that the provincial governments(PG) call up will be very useful in the war, I cannot feel I am missing something. Something larger. I do not know what it is. Sometimes I hate being Ang and not being Bob Cajun…

As this year goes on, a few notable events occur, all having to do with assaults. Due to poor planning on the part of the siege armies in Sweden, in Bergenshus the army is whittled down to next to nothing, and new Robes must be sent in.

I decide that a massive influx of funds is needed. War Taxes allow me to get those funds…


1621 PT

Well! 3,100 ducats is not quite what I was expecting, but it will do. I summon two groups of settlers, sending one each to Gambia and Macquarie. The PGs along the Swedish border call up more and more Robes( close to 117,000 Robes all together) and in Taurus, Sivas and Gambia tax reforms are enacted.

I am able to send State Gifts to each of my allies which improve relations to near dreamlike levels, which bodes well for the Holy Alliance.

PGs in Poitou, Limousin, Auvergne, Lyonnais, Dauphine, Savoie, Piemonte, Schwyz, Lombardia, Mantua, Emilia, Marche, Romagna, Siena, Marche, Roma, Napoli, Tyrol and Apulia each appoint chief judges. That alone cost me 2,400 ducats to do. Maybe I should raise War Taxes again. Three more years like this, I will have the entire Empire covered with chief judges! Hmm?

A new Pope, rising in this turbulent time, is not something I really was looking forward to. January 30th sees him sworn in, and he vows to crush the traitors in Sweden and Denmark. Strange, I swear I never heard of the Pope fighting with the troops up in Sweden. I must have missed that memo.

Within hours of each other, Wales and Bergslagen fall. On February 26th, at 10:38 pm, (local time), the Swedish and Welsh defenders raise the white flag and at 12:04 am (local time), in Bergslagen the Swedes there do likewise. It is all coming to fruition. The great white north is no longer going to be so great, or white(more like red and yellow, from blood and piss)

Smaland and Finland fall in quick succession, and now all that remains of the Swedish holdings is Svealand. Pity, the war is almost over. I wonder if I can raise War Taxes again?

Revolts begin to appear here and there, and although the PGs do admirable jobs, in some instances, specifically in Jutland, more assistance is required. However, all revolts are put down, and all traitors are executed.

August 18th sees Svealand fall, and now, only Denmark stands as a bastion of stubborn resolve. Blast them!

After countless thrusts and parries, the Danes fall to the superior Robes, along with aid from Russia, France and Venice. Together, the Holy Alliance can stand against any foe!

September 10th, Denmark is no more, absorbed into the Papal Empire. If only those Swedes would offer peace, maybe then the PGs could focus on the internal strife that wracks the realm.

Just hours before Christmas Day, I send out word again: Raise more War Taxes…



1622 PT


3,256 ducats. That is what the extra revenue from War Taxes gives me. Incredible. I can now ask for peace. Leave the Swedes their capital, take everything else.

With so much, I decide that 32 new chief judges is a very good idea…Here, take a look:

and here

 

[unmerged(6603)]

Jeez! I must have missed the part where you annexed the Other half of Europe... but... more wars... Are you in iberia yet... move faster

 

[unmerged(2540)]

Patience...

An interlude...

With Bob still in Constantinople, I have time to expand the borders of the Empire, and I notify the PGs( provincial governments) that they will continue to have complete control over their own borders, that they can raise troops if available, and can make moves against hostile neighbours. This may lead us into trouble…

War with Sweden drags on, and I must admit that I secretly hope to crush them underfoot. I will keep sending diplomats to offer the Swedes peace. Maybe it will take time, but I will hope for the best…

This year, 1622, sees failure in offering Sweden peace, and that freedom I gave to the PGs leads me into yet another war, this time with Bourbonnais. It seems that several groups of Bourbon bandits were raiding villages in Auvergne. The PG of Auvergne could not take it any longer, and declared war, dragging the rest of the Empire into another war. However, I ask for no help. It will be fine…

I decide that this day, December 22nd, 1622 PT, shall see War Taxes raised again. Since Sweden refuses peace, I may as well have the funds to pursue this war to the bitter end…



1623 PT


Well, 3080 ducats. I am going to have some fun with this!

The PGs in Gascogne, Poitou, Limousin, Auvergne, Lyonnais and Dauphine decide that their current fortifications are inadequate. They are upgraded [Level 3 for every one save Lyonnais that gets a Level 4]

After several hard fought months Berri falls and so does Bourbonnais. Peace with Sweden is next.

A new Pope, Urbanus VIII arrives, and hope comes with him. I wonder when this war with Sweden will end?

I guess the only good thing about all of this is that I can still raise War Taxes, and do so on December 19th, even as, an ocean away, pawns are being played, and a great and horrible war, the likes of which this world has never seen, is about to take place…



1624 PT


In the Aztec provinces, the PGs there are fed up. They sent word to Colonial Reach, but have yet to hear back. In a drastic measure, the 5 provinces( Tampico, Tenochtitlan, Saltillo, Michoagan, Jalisco) all order fortification improvements. So much for those war taxes. Troops are raised throughout the colonies as well, perhaps a note that Colonial Reach knows that something is about to happen, but I doubt even they imagine it will happen like it does…

The Provincial Governments of Tampico and Saltillo sat with their backs to the wall, upon which a map of the area was. Cities and villages which were allied to, or part of, the Empire were marked in red. Spanish ones, in yellow. It was plain to see that yellow surrounded the five Aztec provinces. And so, these five decided upon a course that would shake to foundations of the Empire, of the World!

“You do not need to worry about Spanish troops attacking your men, your women, your children! I must face that fact every day I wake up! I will not tolerate it!”

The premier of Tampico, Alistair Mook, an Englishman who had immigrated to Tampico, and had risen through the ranks of provincial bureaucracy to reach the premiership. He was an arrogant man, arrogant and yet, caring. He loved his subjects, loved them like a family. And so, he was fed up with Spanish aggression in the area. As he paced the room, the premier for Michoagan rose up, and spoke:

“Alistair! We all know the pain you feel! We also know that if we are to go ahead with your plan, we will plunge the Empire into darkness. I do not think that this warrants such an action!”

The premier of Michoagan was actually a native from Delaware. Such was the cosmopolitan nature of the Five. The premiers name was Bear Feathers, or Bear to most everyone who knew him. He was as large as a bear and twice as hairy, but he was also very cautious. Power can do that to you. His province had not been attacked, and it would be if the Five followed through with their plan. He wanted nothing of it, and yet, had to speak for his subjects.

“Alistair, I know that this is hard, but we are treading a dangerous path, and if we make a mistake, we will all be doomed to become History’s forgotten ones. I do not want this. I…”

The premier of Saltillo stood up, or tried to. Juan Alvarez, a Spanish émigré, had come from Tehuacan, and thoroughly despised the Spanish. They had killed his wife and children simply because he found love in the arms of a Mayan woman. Juan never forgave Spain, or the conquistadors who ran the governments over here. He was always trying to egg the other four into conflict with Spain. He fell back into his chair, and gestured to the map behind him.

“Listen to me! Do you all see that? We are surrounded! Surrounded by the Spanish. Do you think they are going to stop there? No! They want all of our land, our people. They will kill your subjects, rape your women, enslave your children! I will not allow it, and care not one whit whether it brings in the entire Empire. Let them come. We will annihilate the Spanish, make them suffer ignoble defeat! I will hear no talk from cowards, who caution against force. Force is all we have! Force is all we need!”

Juan smiled. He knew that of the Five, only Bear and Guido were acknowledged pacifists. He looked towards Guido Sardontchi, the premier for Jalisco. Here was an old monk, a man of the cloth, and he was premier of quite a prosperous province. He was also the one who always was demanding the heathens, the natives here they convert to the true faith, much to the chagrin of the others. He stood up, and spoke.

“Brothers! We are going to attack our brothers in faith? Why? They are only trying to aid us in converting the heath…”

The other premiers shouted down Guido, and all that remains was the Prime Minister, the Head Premier, from Tenochtitlan, Seams MacDonald, a rough and tumble Scot who loved nothing more than to drink and have beautiful women look after him. However, he was also a ferocious leader, a brilliant tactician, and he did not like the Spanish.

“Ye fools! Ye know that these Spanish are nay good fer nothing! We should take them out, bitch slap them, an’ treat them like they ha treated us! I’ll nay take any more shite from them! I say attack! Vote!”

The Five each made their intentions known, and it was close. 3 to 2 in favour of war with Spain. And so, they gave orders to their armies to march into Atlixco and Tlaxcala. Forces were to be sent to raid and burn the Spanish trading posts kill any Spaniard they found. The Five had brought the Empire to the brink of destruction…



Meanwhile, back in Rome…


“What?! They did what?! We are now at war with Spain, Genoa and the Knights?! Our allies? They all joined? Good, at least we have that. Send out word, the PGs are to devote every available resource to defeating the Spanish. The Spanish border PGs, they will send in their Armies…Hell! Send in everything you can! Even the defenders from here!”

Ang stood and stared outside to the gardens below. He had moved most of his stuff up from Bob’s basement office. He now had a very nice office, overlooking the Papal Gardens, the finest gardens in all of Europe, maybe even the world. This January 8th, 1624 would be forever noted as the day that time began to unravel. The Spanish and the Empire were of like size, and it was possible that both sides would lose dearly in the end. But war was afoot, and war never likes to let people rest. It likes to let them die.

This would be a difficult war…