- Jan 3, 2012
That's my house.
I've tried a couple AARs before, and some didn't pan out for one reason or another, but I kind of felt like they were all too dry and serious, so I'm going to try and be lighthearted and a little bit sillier. I can't promise humour, but I'll try one way or another. I don't figure this AAR will last too long, considering the AI doesn't last longer than a decade or two regularly. I'll be playing as the Satrapy of Karen, the only duke-level title held by a Zoroastrian, who is surrounded by powerful, angry Muslims. Without further ado:
Chapter 1: Holy War for Dummies
My father was a Zoroastrian. His father was a Zoroastrian. His father was an athe-- well, my point is, Zoroastrianism is a tradition. It's something in our blood, or at the very least in the water. I will not stand idly by as the very foundations of everything that I hold dear is pulled out from under us like a large, cartoonish rug. My name is Vandad Karen, and I'm screwed.
There is one other independent Zoroastrian, the Marzpanate of Gilan. To the north I am surrounded by relatively powerless Tengri leaders, to the South powerful and wealthy Mulsims: The Abbasids, Samanids, Saffarids.
See, at this rate, there's not going to be any Zoroastrians in a good twenty years. I'm pretty much the only Zoroastrian left who hasn't bent knee to the Muslim menace. I own some lands around the Caspian, but I'd like a vacation home along the Iranian Gulf, and on the way, I might take a little detour and clean up the place. That is to say, wholesale slaughter. Shah Vandad, I like the sound of it.
I declare a Holy War against the Muslims of Tabaristan, and won shortly after. They had no army, and I assume, no government, so I don't quite know who I'm declaring a Holy War to. I now control a nice southern Caspian coastline. It's a sight for sore eyes.
Finally my wife is pregnant. Hopefully she will give me a s
I'm so mad I could declare war on someone. Specifically, the count rebelling from the Samanids, Isma'il. He looks nice and juicy, and any chance to knock the Samanids down a notch is one that I'm going to take. Frankly, they scare the ever-loving crap out of me.
Isma'il quickly made amends, and now he stands at my border pointing and making faces, and it's getting on my nerves.
I decide that I am wasting my money sitting on it, and since I'm either too stupid or poor to build anything else, I build a Barracks.
Isma'il is ruffling feathers with the Samanid Sultan again, and is particularly vulnerable-looking this time. I declarea Holy War to reclaim the last county of Bukhara.
We beat off the Muslims with a stick at Ishtikhon, but they didn't seen to care. At all. I had to occupy almost the entire country before they would even begin talking. Anyway, after I finished occupying all his holdings, he rolled over.
Overall it was a pretty sweet deal. Makes me look good, and I got Bukhara.
The count of Yagbuid is revolting from his liege, the Cuman Sultan. Perfect! I could completely annex him when I win. I immediately declare a Holy War for Turkestan and begin walking north.