New Adventures of Skippy Skipperson Starting at The Bottom of Page 2

New Adventures of Skippy Skipperson Starting at The Bottom of Page 2

  • Crusader Kings III Available Now!

    The realm rejoices as Paradox Interactive announces the launch of Crusader Kings III, the latest entry in the publisher’s grand strategy role-playing game franchise. Advisors may now jockey for positions of influence and adversaries should save their schemes for another day, because on this day Crusader Kings III can be purchased on Steam, the Paradox Store, and other major online retailers.


    Real Strategy Requires Cunning

Bubbasan

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112) Skippy is not allowed to insult other Mechwarriors by calling them, "procedurally generated".
 

PauloBrito

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Real asking for trouble / been bored - putting Skippy in an Highlander LRM boat. Like Miranda Lambert song - 'Something Bad is about to happen' :)
 

Prussian Havoc

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112) Skippy is not allowed to insult other Mechwarriors by calling them, "procedurally generated".
I really enjoyed and laughed with this one! : ) +1
 

PauloBrito

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When push comes to shove (Locura mission - AKA fist part of last campaign mission) - Skippy delivers :)
 

Clannerkiller

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113: I will refrain from picking up and throwing SRM/LRM ammunition. It is dangerous, and the tubes built for said missiles launches them far more effectively

114: the unit motto is not "There are very few problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives."

115: Nor is it "Peace through superior firepower"


116: Standard clause for salvage in our contract is not "as much as you can carry".

116a: I am not to impersonate an officer just to be able to "set salvage rights to as much as you can carry"

116b: I am not allowed to pilot the melee Atlas when we are conducting the contract negotiations

116c: I am not allowed to flex to show off the Triple Strength Myomer equipped on the mech. It doesnt work that way.

116d: I am not allowed to yell "GET TO DA CHOPPA" over my external mic at the negotiations as it tends to scare the security guys (and the negitiators) and no one gets the reference anyways

117: Pissing off all the nearby forces to the point where they all turn hostile and want to kill me is not called "The Skippy Effect"

117a: No it is not because of how awesome I am.

117b: This will not "get me laid" no matter how often I tell anyone the opposite.

117c: I am no longer allowed to refer in any way to "The Skippy Effect"

117d: Or Rule 117c

117e: Or any of these rules

118: I will refrain from using Locust scout mechs as melee weapons with the company Atlas mechs even if it can lift it

119: Picking up a flagpole in a Commando does not make the pole a "lance" and I will not attempt to challenge clanners to jousting after mounting a Quad mech as my "steed".

119b: I will apologize to the Chief tech for the damage caused to the company Scorpion when I mounted the machine with the Commando (and the cost of the repairs will be taken from my pay)

120: I will refrain from laughing at anyone piloting the White Flame (google it)

120a: especially over coms

120b: I will refrain from telling said pilots to back into other mechs repeatedly just for my amusement

120c: I will refrain from telling new recruits "This is how Light mechs are made."
 
Last edited:

KhazadDhum

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5) Being employed by the Taurian Concordat does grant Mechwarrior Skippy the right to add horns to his 'mech
6) Mechwarrior Skippy is not allowed to sell "'mech horns" to Taurian mechwarriors whilst claiming they grant "+5 damage on the turn you charge"
121: Skippy is not allowed to sell the horns off his mech when ground into dust as any kind of "aphrodisiac" .

122: Skippy is not allowed to sell the horns off his mech intact as any kind of "marital aid".
 

Ozymandious

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123. Skippy is not allowed to invoke diplomatic immunity as the community ambassador. Skippy is not an ambassador of any kind!
 

Prussian Havoc

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124.) Skippy is to immediately stop main-lining Heat Sink Coolant. It is not possible to "immunize" yourself against Coolant Vents in such a manner.
 
Last edited:

Rumrunner711

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126.) Skippy is not allowed to draw circles or crosshairs on the glass inside the cockpit of his mech while exclaiming "I have you sensor locked! And I have you sensor locked!" (The mechtech had to replace the glass, that permanent marker is apparently very permanent.)
 

Domoneky

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127. Skippy is to not Enter the Mechbay or any other restricted area without proper escort or authorization. Stop bringing Canopian 'Entertainers' into these areas for 'Interviews'
128. SKippy now has a new Security level Clearance just for him called "For Official Skippy Business Only" or FOSBO for short.
129. This Security Clearance is designed to lock Skippy out of sensitive areas.
129 Addendum: All areas are now Sensitive Areas.
130. No Skippy.
131. Just No.
 

Prussian Havoc

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132.) Standing over a prone Enforcer, containing a now unconscious Skippy, the Sergeant Major was heard to lament, "Sure Footed. The lad'll ne'er git it!"
 

Prussian Havoc

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132.) As Coolant vented forcefully and caustically from the Head of Skippy's Enforcer, the Sergeant Major smiled down at the remote control button on his JagerMech's control panel that he had had the MechTechs install that very morning ~ "Skippy's Encouragement" the button's tag read.
 

Rumrunner711

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133.) Skippy is not allowed to equip brake-lights on the rear of his mech to let other mech pilots know he is braking for supposed "safety purposes".
133a.) Nor reverse-lights.
133b.) Nor red/green lights for "maritime maneuvers".
133c.) Nor black lights to "creep out the enemy".
133d.) Nor neon tube-lights to "bring out the lines in my mech".

134.) Skippy is not allowed to weld over-sized "cow catchers" to the front of his or any other company mech to "push enemy mechs out of the way when charging".
134a.) Nor is he allowed to weld multiple "cow catchers" to the waist of an atlas because "the atlas looks better in a skirt".
134b.) Nor is he allowed to weld them to the shoulders of any mech as "shoulder armor".
134c.) Nor is he allowed to weld them to the feet of any mech as "snow shoes for arctic climate deployment".

135.) Skippy is banned from using/acquiring all welding tools.
 

Ghostwalker

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136.) Skippy is not allowed to dress his mech in [ Mod edit: not appropriate for this community] any other type of costume.
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Zeusbunnyears

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137.) Skippy is not allowed to add a spoiler to the company’s Atlas. Despite there being one on a rifleman, it does not make the mech go faster.

138.) Skippy is not allowed to test the theory that mechs painted red go faster.

139.) Skippy is not allowed to pick up a mech in each hand of the Atlas to quote unquote “gain more weapon hardpoints”
 

Prussian Havoc

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140.) Skippy is permitted to paint his Mech Red... because of course, Red Goes Fasta!
 

KhazadDhum

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140:(a) (unwritten but in commanders personal version of the manuals) Skippy can paint his mech red because it will draw the most fire that way.
 

KhazadDhum

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141.) Skippy is no longer allowed to refer to the Hatchetman as his personal "Hair grooming tool to take a little off the top" it is a battlemech plain and simple.
 

Critter667

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142.) Skippy is not allowed to weld face guards to the Cyclops, please see rule 135.

143.) Skippy will refrain from telling recruits that a reverse naked crab walk is the preferred method for entering a CRAB CRB-27, even if the recruit's name is Lindsy Lohan (nor do we even get why that matters).

(Bump for Flashpoint).
 

Prussian Havoc

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144.) I know our current employer is the Apache Confederation of Skloss II, but it is cultural appropriation for Skippy to swap out his Hatchetman’s Hatchet for a Tomahawk... besides the Mech-sized Tomahawk is a prop “liberated” from the Confederation’s National Museum of Art, and should be returned IMMEDIATELY!