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Dracko81

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Are they both small and have captured holdings? I'd suggest uploading a save. I have seen wars last over 20 years but they don't usually last for more than that.
 

Dracko81

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Crown laws affect De jure vassals only.

Also vassals can always declare war on their liege.

Some wars are started through plots, you can stop these through the intrigue tab.
 

richvh

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If you click on the De Jure Duchy/Kingdom/Empire buttons to the right of the mini-map, it will show you which counties are considered, de jure, part of which polity of that level. This may change over time if a kingdom controls the entirety of a non-de-jure duchy, or an empire controls the entirety of a non-de-jure kingdom. Kingdoms may also drift out of empires, if the entirety is controlled by one independent monarch.