There does seem to be bigger problems with the Hearts of Iron series than with other Paradox games, in terms of polish, bugs, and just failure to check that things work before releasing them. Hearts of Iron 2 had some very serious problems too, if I recall correctly, specifically with some important event files and also air AI (the latter more of a design failure than an actual bug).
And I don't see why it should be so controversial for a customer to complain if she feels that she's being sold a broken product and then having to pay for getting it fixed.
In my opinion, SF offers very little in the way of expansion material, most of the stuff is just fixes. Yes, some nice minor features have been added. But compare with the EU3 expansions, which all offer new gameplay and dimensions to the game.
Now I HAVE pre-ordered the expansion. But I do feel that I am paying money mostly for a patch with fixes, and worse, that I previously paid double that money for owning an in-development beta version of a game.
For me Paradox is a bit like a really bitchy girlfriend, you hate her but you still love her. You are willing to forgive her a lot of things, but in the end you feel that one day you will get tired of it all and say goodbye.
I am a long-time fan of Paradox games and the Hearts of Iron series, but since several years I have stopped playing their games on release - I buy it on release just to have a look, and then I wait the one year required to fix the AI and sort out other problems present in the release version. I don't want to ruin my experience by playing a bad "version" of the game. With HoI3 however, this went to new heights, I was frankly a bit shocked - the game was really not finished on release. It's improved with patches, and now I have been playing, but I'm still not really hooked in, still waiting for problems to be fixed.
But I have faith in you, my love. I am still hoping things will get better. Because despite the frustrations, you still often manage to make me happy in the end. But please, dear, please - FINISH BETA TESTING BEFORE RELEASE!