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My Big Fat Gujarat

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Quite a smart move to take advantage of such a lucky break. I should think some stamps could be released to celebrate the victory. The only thing that might be of worry is if the Timurids take back that one province Balachustan thus cutting off your eastern provinces from the western. Perhaps they will be too busy as you suggested.
 
I'm glad I caught this AAR before it got too long! It's great so far :)
 
He must have a huge fan base to get that many stamps! I mean Philip of Burgandy must have thousands of fans, but you still beat him out.

Good work, it's funny.
 
Is there going to be a big fat Gujarati wedding at any point?
 
Great update! I also like the Sultan's new advisor, he has fulfilled his role quite nicely!

So, what direction does Gujarat move next? North, East, or West? I'd say South, but that just moves the armies into the ocean and I don't think the Sultan has dropped down to the mental level of certain that Roman Emperor who marched his legions to the English Chanel to attack the waves.... but then again, we are taking about a stamp collecting national leader, eh? Anything's possible! :D :rofl:
 
Rythin: You've given me a great idea - why don't I write an AAR about growing tomatoes? I'll call it "Tomato Universalis". I'm sure it'll be a hit!

J.Passepartout: English? Well, as it happens I can now see a few bits of England. But will Ahmad Shah be so daring as to try and attack them??? :eek:

Troggle: That explains a lot about why the Timurid Empire is in such a mess! Spoons, eh?! Good grief... :rolleyes:

Judas M: Why thankyou for such a touching gift! You don't mind me asking, though - who are these great men pictured on the stamps? This one appears to be dressed in a chicken suit, for example... :p

Zenek K: Thanks - Yes, like I said, the Timurids are indeed in a real mess - there should be some opportunities coming along soon... ;)

Armfeldt, stnylan: Thanks for your comments! :)

coz1: Well, I did wonder if that might happen (Timurids re-annexing Baluchistan) - but you'll have to wait and see!

Sultan: Welcome aboard!

Zeno: There's a rumour going around that Philip of Burgundy collects used metro tickets, but that may just be Gujarati state propaganda... :eek:

Vincent J: Well, the title was of course inspired by the film, so I suppose I should bring the weddings in somewhere. I have actually been racking up my VPs with a series of big fat Gujarati weddings! ;)

Draco: I've played another ten years, and I can tell you Yusf ul-Fellah has really been put through his paces! All will soon be revealed about what direction was taken next...

But not tonight I think - update tomorrow!
 
Ah man, and here I thought I was going to be able to blow work of this morning to read an update! :(
Oh well, I guess I can make my boss happy and actually get some work done until the update comes down the pike. :p
 
Farquharson said:
Judas M: Why thankyou for such a touching gift! You don't mind me asking, though - who are these great men pictured on the stamps? This one appears to be dressed in a chicken suit, for example... :p
Click to expand...

Well... there's Hermann von Zahringen, founder of the Baden margrave family... Ludwig Wilhelm, the "Shield of the Empire"... Robert Baden-Powell (oh, wait, he was British :D)... And the guy in the chicken suit is one of my ancestors who was a circus clown (true!). :)

I don't know who the rest are. We had a hard time coming up with real people. Eventually we just stuck a bunch of random peasants. Nice collector's items, but unfortunately, they actually smell like random peasants too. :D
 
I've just read through this AAR and also your Scotland AAR, and you are by far one of the best writAARs on the forums, and also one of the funniest, something that you rarely seen put together. Keep it up!!! :)
 
Draco Rexus's Boss: Honest, sir, I don't do it deliberately!

Judas M: Thanks, that's certainly very enlightening (especially about your ancestor in the chicken suit!) :D

Rythin: You got the job! Watch out for it coming soon in the TU1 AAR forum...

wcoleridge: Thankyou for your kind words!

And now, as promised (and with apologies to Draco Rexus's boss), the next chapter...
 
Chapter 5: 1435-1443
Six Weddings and a Funeral
(Not to Mention a Very Large War)​

Sultan Ahmad Shah I of Gujarat enjoyed megalomania almost as much as stamp-collecting. Fortunately, however, his trusty though somewhat inexperienced Prime Minister Yusf ul-Fellah, was able to view things from a more realistic viewpoint, which helped to keep Ahmad Shah from indulging in too many excesses. In the New Year of 1435 the two leaders were having a tête-à-tête regarding the future direction of Gujarati expansion.

Ahmad Shah: Well, we can rule out southwards, anyway, eh ul-Fellah?

Yusf ul-Fellah: Ah - why is that, Sire?

Ahmad Shah, holding up a map of Gujarat: What do you see to the south, ul-Fellah?

Yusf ul-Fellah: Hmm... It’s a very large country coloured blue, Sire. Don’t remember off-hand what the name of it is, but they’re obviously far too large to attack, right?

Ahmad Shah: The name of the country, ul-Fellah, is “the Indian Ocean”. But you’re right - definitely too big to attack.

Yusf ul-Fellah, laughing weakly: Heh-heh... Er - you know I’m no good at trick questions, Sire...

Ahmad Shah: Yes, so I’ve noticed. Well, here’s a straight question - who can we attack in order to make Gujarat even bigger and fatter by the time I shuffle off this mortal coil. I’m not going to last forever, you know.

Yusf ul-Fellah: Well, Sire, you have expanded the realm from four provinces to ten in the space of fifteen years. That’s pretty good going by anyone’s standards!

Ahmad Shah: Not good enough, man! I need MORE. MORE territory! MORE provinces! MORE victory points!

Yusf ul-Fellah: What about more stamps? You can have more stamps any time you like.

Ahmad Shah: Well, yes, but you have to admit, there’s something about stamp-collecting that seems a little... tame, compared to conquering and subjugating whole populations.

Yusf ul-Fellah: We don’t have any just cause to do that to anyone right now, of course, Sire.

Ahmad Shah: Except Baluchistan!

Yusf ul-Fellah: Um, yes - but we’ve signed a truce with them until 1439, plus they are now our vassals. We’d have to cancel that before declaring war.

Ahmad Shah: Well, isn’t the plan that they’ll cancel it themselves sooner or later? I mean they still hate our guts, don’t they?

Yusf ul-Fellah: Oh yes, Your Majesty, no worries there. Relations around -188 I believe.

Ahmad Shah: Good. Well what about a spot of unjustified aggression again? That seemed to work quite well last time against Delhi.

Yusf ul-Fellah: Er - it says here we have “a rather bad reputation”, Sire. Perhaps we should just sort of, relax a little. Save up some money, appoint some tax collectors, send some merchants, arrange some royal marriages, you know - a period of peace and prosperity?

Ahmad Shah: Bo-ring!

Yusf ul-Fellah: Just think what it could mean for your stamp collection, Sire.

Ahmad Shah: Oh all right, I suppose we’ll just have to have some peace and prosperity. But I want you to personally keep a close eye on the Timurids, ul-Fellah. The slightest excuse and we declare war, OK? They’re being overrun by the Uzbeks and the Golden Horde and have no allies at all...

Yusf ul-Fellah: Er... correction, Sire, they had no allies at all.

Ahmad Shah: What?

Yusf ul-Fellah, waving that morning’s Rajkot Review: Latest news, Sire - “Hyper-Baddie Alliance Goes West!”

Ahmad Shah: Sounds like good news to me!

Yusf ul-Fellah: No, Sire, listen - “a spokesman in Herat announced yesterday that the Timurid Empire would henceforth stand shoulder to shoulder with the rest of the Hyper-Baddie Alliance” - that’s Hyderabad, Delhi and Bengal, Sire.

Ahmad Shah: Hmm - could make for a nice war if everyone joins in, eh?

Yusf ul-Fellah: Er - now, about your stamp collection, Sire...

So the Sultan of Gujarat was reluctantly persuaded to concentrate on his stamp collecting, while Yusf ul-Fellah oversaw a period of peace and prosperity for the newly enlarged Sultanate. In the following four years he arranged no less than six big fat Gujarati weddings with various nice Sunni nations. A spot of trouble with some Panjabi rebels was quickly dealt with and some guy claiming to be an exceptional court painter was shown the palace door, as Yusf ul-Fellah assured him in no uncertain terms that “we don’t have any courts needing painted, thankyou, and certainly not at that price.”

The government of the Timurid Empire collapsed in 1436, and vast swathes of their territory were snapped up by Uzbek and the Golden Horde. They still had some nice looking provinces on Gujarat’s border, however, including Qandahar which, if annexed, would join up the two parts of Gujarat’s territory:

Timurids1436.jpg

The demise of the Timurid Empire​

And all the while the tension grew as the members of the two great alliances in the region, the Vijayanagar Alliance, including Mysore, Orissa and Gujarat, and the Hyper-Baddie Alliance, eyed each other with distaste if not out and out loathing. What actually sparked off the Great Indian War of 1440-43 is not terribly clear, the details being lost in the mists of antiquity, but in January 1440 Hyderabad declared war on Vijayanagar, and the two Alliances each stood by their respective leaders. The sub-continent’s period of uneasy peace and poor man’s prosperity suddenly came to an end.

As far as Gujarat was concerned the war was fought on three fronts: against the Timurids in the west, against Delhi in the northwest around Panjab and against Bengal in the south around Bombay.

While the main army invaded the Timurid Empire, Ahmad Shah led a smaller force to repulse an invasion of Panjab by Delhi forces. After initial success the Sultan was driven back by overwhelming numbers and went to join the army besieging Quetta. By August 1441 Quetta and Qandahar were both captured, while a newly raised force managed to dislodge the Delhi forces from Panjab. By this time, however, Bengali troops had captured Bombay, and Ahmad Shah was anxious to bring the Timurids to the peace table as quickly as possible. An attempt to besiege Kabul was driven back by a large Timurid army, so Ahmad Shah promptly offered peace in return for Qandahar, an offer which was equally promptly accepted.

This freed the Sultan to concentrate on his eastern foes. While more reinforcements were sent to Panjab, Ahmad Shah led the main army south and recaptured Bombay, the Bengali army having by this time gone off somewhere else. By August 1442 the city was back in Gujarati hands, but then while the Sultan was marching his army north to deal a decisive blow against Delhi, disaster struck. Was it the vindaloo curry that the Sultan had eaten that evening? Or was he poisoned by some enemy agent who had infiltrated his entourage? We will never know, but after retiring early that night complaining of stomach pains, Ahmad Shah was discovered dead in his bed by morning.

His son Ghiyas ud-Din Muhammad Shah II now rose to the throne, but he was not the soldier his father had been, and the old Sultan’s second-in-command, General Multan, now took over command of the army. He proved himself, however, by quickly driving the Delhi forces out of Panjab once more, pillaging neighbouring Chandigarh, and going on to besiege and capture Delhi itself in June 1443. Chandigarh was captured by November, and the Sultan of Delhi, confusingly also named Muhammad Shah, agreed to pay 50 ducats and hand over Chandigarh for peace. It only remained to sign a white peace with Hyderabad in December, and Ghiyas ud-Din (as we shall refer to him) could receive the adulation of his people for a war well fought and won. And start to indulge in his all-consuming passion...

Rock-climber.jpg

...rock-climbing!​


Gujarat1444.jpg

A little bigger, a little fatter - Gujarat in 1443​
 
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Haha, Rythin, he had my joke in there, but nothing about you. ;) :D

Ul-Fellah certainly knows his geography. If I ever need a man to read road maps for me, I know who to call. :D

It's too bad that Ahmad died. Does this mean that stamp collecting is out? Oh well, I guess we can watch Muhammed Shah climb.
 
Hurrah for big fat Gujarati imperialist expansion!
 
Farg! Great update! My boss and I thank you, I for the great read and my boss for actually mentioning him... I think we may have just hooked ourselves another AAR reader! How 'bout that, eh? :D
 
Rock climbing...well, this one may not be a great strategist, but he should be in good shape!
 
Farquharson said:
Was it the vindaloo curry that the Sultan had eaten that evening? Or was he poisoned by some enemy agent who had infiltrated his entourage? We will never know, but after retiring early that night complaining of stomach pains, Ahmad Shah was discovered dead in his bed by morning.
Click to expand...

Err... whatever it was, it wasn't my stamps. I didn't tamper with the glue so that he ingested poison when he licked them. *whistles*
 
Hw long before we have a Sultan whose prime interest is gross over-eating? :D
 
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