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*quietly takes notes from this thread*
 
The level of sociopathy in this thread is depressing.

It reminds me of that time I really wanted Croatia (as Austria, or rather, 'Bavaria' renamed Austria with my capitol in Osterreich), but the king wouldn't marry his daughters to my son. So I found a rando with a weak, inheritable claim; married her off to my brother; waited a couple years for him to produce a brat; had the mother murdered; pressed my nephew's claim on Croatia; and then had him assassinated, which the Croatian dukes gladly went along with because he was 1 year old and had a 'Foreign conqueror' opinion malus with them.

This was after I took Bohemia by marrying the king's brother's daughter, then killing the brother, the king's son, and kidnapping the king's wife and then just waiting for the 65-year-old king to die naturally.
 
This is a general dickishness strategy I adopt. I sometime pick a rebellious vassal, make him my spymaster, and send him to study technology in Constantinople. Any tech points he gives me is a bonus. The real fun is when he gets captured by the Basileus or the Patriarch. They will almost certainly castrate and release the vassal. This move is also great when you want to deal with ambitious, dim-witted half brothers.

You can also send them to places ravaged by disease/plague. The best is you can make them Chancellor and "improve relations" and not have to worry about them being spymaster and ultimately killing you... :)
 
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You get that when you sacrifice the leaders of other religions (I have sacrificed the pope a dozen times, it's great fun), but not kings or emperors. Their heirs aren't even pissed that you did it. I tried to get the Orthodox Patriarch after already capturing the Pope and Caliph, for a sort of holy smoke trifecta, but I only got the oldest son and the 15-year-old daughter of the Byzantine Emperor (And a courtier or mayor or something from one of the other holdings). So naturally I sacrificed the son, and took the daughter as my concubine. It was weird that the Emperor was angry about his daughter but not his son.

Did not know that about heads of religion as I usually just release them for gold/winning the war.... Now I got a new objective when I play:D

I am talking specifically Charlemagne though being that he is such an important historical figure he has his own DLC. Emperors/Kings would be cool too, not sure it should impact religious authority, maybe more prestige and a revolt modifier for the heir of the Kingdom/Empire of the sacrificed.
 
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For the glory of Odin!
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And I'm now King Haraldr the Kingslayer, and West Francia is in chaos because four kingdoms were inherited by prepubescent children.
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It's hard to pick just one or two, but a couple of instances of Pomeranian abuse stick out in my mind.

1 - A while ago, playing as the petty king of Pruthenia, I set my sights on the much larger petty king of Pomerania, who had gobbled up a couple of his neighbors. I had about 3/4 of the men he did, so I devised a plan: I would murder him and split his realm in half, between his two sons. As icing on the cake, they were 13 and 5, respectively. The murderplan went off without a hitch and I declared a subjugation war on the older son, easily crushing his armies with a few mercenaries that I paid for with gold raided from the Christian kings to the south. I sieged down his lands and, just as I was about to capture his capitol, it struck me: He was the heir to his (now 8 year old) brother's lands, and his brother was the heir to his lands.
I occupied his lands, concubine'd his wife, and captured him in a final battle against the pathetic remnants of his army. I put him in house arrest and six months later, his younger brother dropped dead (erring on the side of caution, because inheritance can cause screwiness when a target dies in the middle of a war.) The older brother inherits his now dead younger brother's lands, and I crush his newly raised armies before ending the war despite having him in my prison, just to be thorough. I end the war, gaining all of the lands I originally had my eyes on without ever having to fight the full might of Pomerania (which is kind of an absurd sentence, given the strength of Pomerania) he goes free, and I assassinate him within a year. His family's lands pass to me, as I've extinguished his family's line, and I distribute them among my loyal landless generals.

2 - In a much more recent game, I was the Fylkir of all Scandinavia and Russia, and set my sights on eastern Europe. I invaded Pomerania and immediately captured a random princess, who I of course immediately make my concubine. A handful of Christian kings come to his defense - just enough to get me sailing back to Scandinavia to lick my wounds - when I look at the princess - Wroth, ambitious, Brawny, a martial of 17, and she LOVES me. I ask her to convert, which she does happily, and I release her from concubinage and make her a shieldmaiden. This princess of Pomerania lead my armies to half a dozen victories against the combined armies of Pomerania, Pannonia, and Poland, personally fighting against her father and laying waste to her own family's land at my command, leading what I can only assume to be a horrifyingly demoralizing campaign against the Christian countries.
 
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It's hard to pick just one or two, but a couple of instances of Pomeranian abuse stick out in my mind.


2 - In a much more recent game, I was the Fylkir of all Scandinavia and Russia, and set my sights on eastern Europe. I invaded Pomerania and immediately captured a random princess, who I of course immediately make my concubine. A handful of Christian kings come to his defense - just enough to get me sailing back to Scandinavia to lick my wounds - when I look at the princess - Wroth, ambitious, Brawny, a martial of 17, and she LOVES me. I ask her to convert, which she does happily, and I release her from concubinage and make her a shieldmaiden. This princess of Pomerania lead my armies to half a dozen victories against the combined armies of Pomerania, Pannonia, and Poland, personally fighting against her father and laying waste to her own family's land at my command, leading what I can only assume to be a horrifyingly demoralizing campaign against the Christian countries.


The Power of Love :D
 
It's hard to pick just one or two, but a couple of instances of Pomeranian abuse stick out in my mind.


2 - In a much more recent game, I was the Fylkir of all Scandinavia and Russia, and set my sights on eastern Europe. I invaded Pomerania and immediately captured a random princess, who I of course immediately make my concubine. A handful of Christian kings come to his defense - just enough to get me sailing back to Scandinavia to lick my wounds - when I look at the princess - Wroth, ambitious, Brawny, a martial of 17, and she LOVES me. I ask her to convert, which she does happily, and I release her from concubinage and make her a shieldmaiden. This princess of Pomerania lead my armies to half a dozen victories against the combined armies of Pomerania, Pannonia, and Poland, personally fighting against her father and laying waste to her own family's land at my command, leading what I can only assume to be a horrifyingly demoralizing campaign against the Christian countries.

The sheer sexy of a pagan ruler's manliness cannot be overestimated. :cool:
 
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Recently I was playing the Count of Salenro as part of the D'hautville (I think that's how it's spelled) dynasty. Being fairly unskilled at other things like fighting and diplomacy the current ruler decided to focus on intrigue. It started when he kidnapped his liege for ransom. Having made a good 145 gold that way, my character began systematically kidnapping his neighbors for the ransom money, in order to fill his coffers.