And then loses. The end.
. . . maybe I can see if the game even autosaved during the brief process so I can get y'all a screenie.
. . . maybe I can see if the game even autosaved during the brief process so I can get y'all a screenie.
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Ummm. Interesting... More info
. Another Knytling style AAR in the making about a mad Morroccan dynasty gaining revenge?
. Another Knytling style AAR in the making about a mad Morroccan dynasty gaining revenge?
SEE! Sultan Abu-Sa'id run like a little bitch!
My plan was to build a large cavalry force and hit the Portuguese and English stacks where they were weakest, which, as it happens, turned out to be nowhere. My cavalry was ripped to pieces and spent much of the war running away. I was able to besiege Fez once, but that didn't last much more than a few days before the Castilians showed up. My fleet, by the way, spent the whole war hiding in Malta, where I am thinking of dismantling it and turning it into yurts. By the way, I now have zero cash, which means I can't pay for that useless army anyway. The Berber rebels are doing better than I did.
TREMBLE! At the ruins of Morocco after peace with England!
The entire country except for Malta was occupied. The parts I have now? I have them because I agreed to peace with England: they get 100 ducats, Sicily gets to not be a vassal, and I get to dip my nuts into Portugal's hand for whatever squeezing they consider to be appropriate. Everybody wins, except for my nuts. I'm hoping Castile takes Malta so I can give it to them for peace. I'm thinking of giving Portugal some shitty territories that are likely to revolt. I dunno, though. My king is dumber than plumbing. I wouldn't rise up to join him for a nice cup of tea, let alone a kingdom.
SYMPATHIZE! With Hashim Sellami, who knows his work is cut out for him!
Yeah, negative forty-five prestige is gonna take awhile to make up, I'm guessing. No wonder that guy has his head in his hands. After this debacle, I was thinking of giving up, but you know what? Eff those bastards! This can't be harder than playing Mali, which was a game of whack-a-mole in which Animist rebels were the club and I was the mole. Eff those bastards! Eff them all right in the face! MOROCCO! Should aaaaauuuld aquaaaaintance beeee for-goooooot, and rrrmrmmm, rmmmmm, mmrhrhrmmmm, mmm! Should auuuuld aquaaaaintance beeee for-goooot and aaaaauld laaaaaaand syne! V FOR VICTORY!
At least it's going to be different from all those 'hey-look-I-can-conquer-the-world-with-some-stupid-minor-you-w**kers'...
@Lord Strange: Originally, no. This was gonna be an angry, "ARGH, I LOST AGAIN" one-post. My stubbornness seems to have paid off and made this a game. Perhaps revenge really will be mine! Lord knows the leaders are Knýtling enough.
@elbasto: vprecisely.
@Murmurandus: Heh, yeah. I dislike those. Some day, I plan to make an AAR where I take a big, awesome country and mismanage it into the gutter. Maybe today is that day, except my country is mid-sized and crappy.
Well, how do you do? I do very well. That war with Portugal ended well, which I didn't expect at all. My stubborn refusal to play to the bitter end paid off. For some reason, Spain peaced out for 8 ducats and Portugal for 10, so I got my entire country back. Warscore at 10+ and -45 prestige, sure, but at least I got my entire country back. I decided I needed allies, so I started trying to find ways to scam allies on the cheap. I began by giving and asking for military access to Algeria, but they got invaded by the Portuguese alliance too and got romped, so I figured I needed stronger allies. France, the strongest Western European country NOT allied to Portugal, has -70 relations with me, so . . . I, uh, guaranteed their independence, and gave them military access, and asked for military access. That, plus 60 ducats in the right pantaloons, got me to 20 relations with them. They're neutral to me! They're really neutral to me!
During this time, I also built up my army again, getting something like 7,000 cavalry to hang out near Tangiers, another 2,000 in Malta, and 3,000 infantry to hang out near Algiers in case they need to flee into Algiers and sneak back to resiege territories. I did this just in time for Portugal to invade.
Ugh.
This war went totally awesome, though. The English spent the entire war invading Tunisia (my erstwhile ally) while the Castilians spent the entire war sending 1,000 infantrymen with no leaders into Tangiers. I was able to work my way up to a 25 warscore by slaughtering those idiots over and over and moving out of Tangiers after each slaughter. Oh no, Brer Castile, don't throw me into that briar patch! I did have to send a few thousand cavalry across the dunes into Tunisia to help drive the enemy out. Eventually, everybody settled for a ducat or two or a white peace.
Then Abu died, poor guy. At least he got one victory under his belt, and conquered Malta, which is pretty good. On the other hand, he did get the entire country occupied by infidels that one time. On the other other hand, he did get relations with France up to 150+.
Here's Mohammad, a Sultan possessing exactly the military and diplomatic skills Morocco needs in its hour of need:
I can't really hate Mohammad. Other than using the one colonist I get every ten years in a failured attempt to colonise the Sahara (yeah), he did pass that law that lets Hindus get religious rights, which would be pretty awesome if he was a Sultan in India but is a little less awesome if you're a Sultan in Morocco. The last infidels in my realm, the Maltese, converted to Islam. For some reason, I got a center of trade in Ifni, which is making me lovely and rich, but I don't think Mohammad did that. Where Mohammad really shined is here:
Yeah. I remembered that Morocco is rich and, due to my awesome traders, can pull in 40-50 ducats per month if I really need money to, say, bribe France at 60 ducats a pop.
Its now 1426 and France attacked England, Portugal's ally. I'm at war with Portugal again, but this time big mofo FRANCE is on my side. I was able to tie up the Portugeuse fleet long enough to shuttle 11,000 troops into their country, besieging the southern half of Portugal, but then they slaughtered all of my guys and put Mohammad I on a little boat back to Morocco.
I really wanna get something out of this war, except I'm a junior partner and so is Portugal. I rebuilt my army and can rebuild a fleet pretty quickly. . . I am thinking of sucking up the inflation and building a fleet of carracks that can stand up to anything except the English 35-stack. Anybody got any ideas on what I could try to get out of this war? Prestige, perhaps. . .
@elbasto: vprecisely.
@Murmurandus: Heh, yeah. I dislike those. Some day, I plan to make an AAR where I take a big, awesome country and mismanage it into the gutter. Maybe today is that day, except my country is mid-sized and crappy.
- - - = = = - - -
Well, how do you do? I do very well. That war with Portugal ended well, which I didn't expect at all. My stubborn refusal to play to the bitter end paid off. For some reason, Spain peaced out for 8 ducats and Portugal for 10, so I got my entire country back. Warscore at 10+ and -45 prestige, sure, but at least I got my entire country back. I decided I needed allies, so I started trying to find ways to scam allies on the cheap. I began by giving and asking for military access to Algeria, but they got invaded by the Portuguese alliance too and got romped, so I figured I needed stronger allies. France, the strongest Western European country NOT allied to Portugal, has -70 relations with me, so . . . I, uh, guaranteed their independence, and gave them military access, and asked for military access. That, plus 60 ducats in the right pantaloons, got me to 20 relations with them. They're neutral to me! They're really neutral to me!
During this time, I also built up my army again, getting something like 7,000 cavalry to hang out near Tangiers, another 2,000 in Malta, and 3,000 infantry to hang out near Algiers in case they need to flee into Algiers and sneak back to resiege territories. I did this just in time for Portugal to invade.
Ugh.
This war went totally awesome, though. The English spent the entire war invading Tunisia (my erstwhile ally) while the Castilians spent the entire war sending 1,000 infantrymen with no leaders into Tangiers. I was able to work my way up to a 25 warscore by slaughtering those idiots over and over and moving out of Tangiers after each slaughter. Oh no, Brer Castile, don't throw me into that briar patch! I did have to send a few thousand cavalry across the dunes into Tunisia to help drive the enemy out. Eventually, everybody settled for a ducat or two or a white peace.
Then Abu died, poor guy. At least he got one victory under his belt, and conquered Malta, which is pretty good. On the other hand, he did get the entire country occupied by infidels that one time. On the other other hand, he did get relations with France up to 150+.
Here's Mohammad, a Sultan possessing exactly the military and diplomatic skills Morocco needs in its hour of need:
I can't really hate Mohammad. Other than using the one colonist I get every ten years in a failured attempt to colonise the Sahara (yeah), he did pass that law that lets Hindus get religious rights, which would be pretty awesome if he was a Sultan in India but is a little less awesome if you're a Sultan in Morocco. The last infidels in my realm, the Maltese, converted to Islam. For some reason, I got a center of trade in Ifni, which is making me lovely and rich, but I don't think Mohammad did that. Where Mohammad really shined is here:
Yeah. I remembered that Morocco is rich and, due to my awesome traders, can pull in 40-50 ducats per month if I really need money to, say, bribe France at 60 ducats a pop.
Its now 1426 and France attacked England, Portugal's ally. I'm at war with Portugal again, but this time big mofo FRANCE is on my side. I was able to tie up the Portugeuse fleet long enough to shuttle 11,000 troops into their country, besieging the southern half of Portugal, but then they slaughtered all of my guys and put Mohammad I on a little boat back to Morocco.
I really wanna get something out of this war, except I'm a junior partner and so is Portugal. I rebuilt my army and can rebuild a fleet pretty quickly. . . I am thinking of sucking up the inflation and building a fleet of carracks that can stand up to anything except the English 35-stack. Anybody got any ideas on what I could try to get out of this war? Prestige, perhaps. . .
Its not nice when you are angry Phargle... all that swearing. The only time I have seen that before was during the ending scenes in Kyntling involving Teabagging people during battle.
For those playing the home game, robou is talking about the most awesome update to an AAR ever to grace these forums, ever, for reals, except maybe for the one with the hang gliders or the one that booshed canonized, which are funny but don't make phargle laugh like a hyena.
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Erm...ahh good luck?
With France on your side you are safe for now, but I don't know how much longer you will be allies.
With France on your side you are safe for now, but I don't know how much longer you will be allies.
@comagoosie, unfortunately, France abandoned me.
@demokratickid, 'tis epic, no?
So, I fought a few more wars with Castile, England and Portugal. These all went much better, and involved me slaughtering the guys who kept attacking Tangiers. Sure, they occupied Malta now and then, but who cares? I'd get prestige and peace out for a few ducats. The hard part is this: my inflation is going up. It's like 20% or so, well into the top ten for the world. Oh, here's a screenie of how the typical war with these guys went. . . I fought maybe three such wars:
Things are going pretty well. I took the islands next to Spain and converted 'em to Islam, and then I took Girona from Aragon and converted it to Islam, too. Castile has occupied it a few times, but they always give up when they find out they can't put down my bedouin spirit. I'm getting worried, though. Between this event and this diplomatic genius of a king who refuses to die no matter how many armies I have him command, I think I am in trouble:
I've become a feudal monarchy, which seemed useful to get a bigger, cheaper army. I also adopted that one trade national idea that improves my trade efficiency 10%. I got a lot of trade and that also seemed like a good idea. Oh, and I colonized two African provinces near Morocco. It's 1465 or so and I conquered Sardinia (which lost me France as an ally) and Crete, which seemed to make RP sense since they are on my trade route throughout the Med. I'm allied to Algiers and Tunisia, uniting the Moorish nations, but I really want France back as an ally. They insulted me a few times, which makes me think they want Girona. Hmm.
I am starting to get worried. In every war, I end up reducing Castile and Portugal's armies until mine are bigger, but I can't get my guys over to invade because their navy is too strong. I'm thinking of making naval stacks so I can tie up their troops with sacrificial lambs and move my convoys out to land soldiers in their abandoned countryside. . . the thing is their naval tech is getting away from me while I pursue government tech, and I know they'll get blockade soon and then they'll be able to bone me by occupying my island empire and blockading my shit until I starve. What should I do? Maybe I need to blow my cash becoming Castile's ally. Otherwise they might make peace offers that I can't refuse.
I really wish my Sultan would die so I can get a guy with a diplomatic score. Tunisia and Algiers are both eager to be vassalized, and France might even ally with me again.
@demokratickid, 'tis epic, no?
- - - = = = - - -
So, I fought a few more wars with Castile, England and Portugal. These all went much better, and involved me slaughtering the guys who kept attacking Tangiers. Sure, they occupied Malta now and then, but who cares? I'd get prestige and peace out for a few ducats. The hard part is this: my inflation is going up. It's like 20% or so, well into the top ten for the world. Oh, here's a screenie of how the typical war with these guys went. . . I fought maybe three such wars:
Things are going pretty well. I took the islands next to Spain and converted 'em to Islam, and then I took Girona from Aragon and converted it to Islam, too. Castile has occupied it a few times, but they always give up when they find out they can't put down my bedouin spirit. I'm getting worried, though. Between this event and this diplomatic genius of a king who refuses to die no matter how many armies I have him command, I think I am in trouble:
I've become a feudal monarchy, which seemed useful to get a bigger, cheaper army. I also adopted that one trade national idea that improves my trade efficiency 10%. I got a lot of trade and that also seemed like a good idea. Oh, and I colonized two African provinces near Morocco. It's 1465 or so and I conquered Sardinia (which lost me France as an ally) and Crete, which seemed to make RP sense since they are on my trade route throughout the Med. I'm allied to Algiers and Tunisia, uniting the Moorish nations, but I really want France back as an ally. They insulted me a few times, which makes me think they want Girona. Hmm.
I am starting to get worried. In every war, I end up reducing Castile and Portugal's armies until mine are bigger, but I can't get my guys over to invade because their navy is too strong. I'm thinking of making naval stacks so I can tie up their troops with sacrificial lambs and move my convoys out to land soldiers in their abandoned countryside. . . the thing is their naval tech is getting away from me while I pursue government tech, and I know they'll get blockade soon and then they'll be able to bone me by occupying my island empire and blockading my shit until I starve. What should I do? Maybe I need to blow my cash becoming Castile's ally. Otherwise they might make peace offers that I can't refuse.
I really wish my Sultan would die so I can get a guy with a diplomatic score. Tunisia and Algiers are both eager to be vassalized, and France might even ally with me again.
You've certainly come back from the breach. France could be problematic though. Nice to see you taking Andorra
Ah the navy issue is quite a big one. As in 3.2b I think the AI tends to do more invasion to islands, which is a bad thing for you
@Eams, no smoking! It's bad for your health. This is just an AAR, an after-action report. I guess it's technically a during-the-action report, but I just need some help.
@demokratickid, they are traitors.
@comagoosie, they invade my islands a lot, but there has only been one successful invasion of Morocco so far.
@Llywelyn, I thought about it! But then I got stubborn and wanted to see how bad Morocco would look after the peace so I could play out the inevitable destruction and post the results. Instead, they gave me back my entire country for a handful of ducats.
@robou, France is starting to get scary. Maybe it's due to their reputation, but they won't ally with me no matter how good our relations get. Their reputation, by the way, is worse than hated throughout the known world.
Lessee. . . it's been almost thirty years, four leaders, and some major changes. Here's the update by leader.
This guy was not a diplomatic genius, which told me I wouldn't get to make Algiers or Tunisia my vassals, and definitely would not get France as my ally. His military was four stars, but the enemy started doing exactly what I predicted. They started blockading my ports and sending me low-ball peace offers. Eventually, I went with this: give Andorra)) and Girona to Castile and let Sardinia go, which meant the Islamic Sultanate of Sardinia would be protected as an ally of Castile! I hoped that would end Castile's "Finish the Reconquista!" mission but those islands off the coast of Spain must still be pissing them off. Oh, I also sold Muslim Crete to the Ottomans for 2000 ducats. In 1482, I shifted to a Noble Republic and put the emirs in charge - for mental roleplay, Hasam must've been heirless and ill, because he died the next day - and so Emir 'Uthmân Barek, a diplomatic and military genius, took over.
'Uthmân Barek
Nothing. He didn't do anything for eight years other than get my stability from -3 to +2. Well, since it was eight years, obviously he fought one or two minor wars with Castile, but those are turning into little naval battles: they lose a ship or I lose a ship and then I pay a few ducats to each of the members of Castile's alliance until they go away. Traditionally, the Ottomans get into the war but don't do anything for me. I figure maybe they are scaring Castile off, at least? On the plus note, I seized Portugal's colony south of Rio de Oro around this time and got to keep it. Go me!
1490, this guy, with his 3-3-5 stats, takes over as head emir. I had him for eight years, and he actually did a lot of good. In 1487, I got an alliance with King Edgar of England, which makes me extremely happy since their naval prowess should keep Castile off my back. My peace with Castile has since expired and they haven't attacked me, contrary to their normal tradition of attacking the day the peace expires. Oh, that same year, Emir Umar became Sultan of Algiers too, because I am leader in a personal union there. That's a good tradition, and gets some good RP images in my head. The last thing Umar did was start a war with the Mamaluks. See, they had previously started a war with Tunisia, conquered Tripoli, and generally pissed me off, especially since I had to pull my army out of Egypt before I lost it all. This time, however, their stability is -3 and the Ottomans have occupied Syria, Judea, and the Sinai. I figured it would be easy pickings. Oh, here's a picture of why France is hated so much, scares me so much, and makes me want to be their allies so much:
Isma'il Sahiri
Another Sahiri, nice, and this one 7-8-5. After getting crowned Sultan of Algiers, he creates a national bank (Government 11!), which will help with my inflation problems. After my war with the Mamuluks, my income will be good enough and I'll be rich enough that I can drop my monthly cash down to zero and get .1 inflation reduction per turn - that'll help with my 35-40% inflation I'm at, but not by a lot. Then Isma'il finishes the war with the hapless Mamaluks:
The English help me, but peace out midway through, so I finish the occupation of Egypt myself and move on to Syria and Judea after the Ottomans leave. My terms are that the Mamaluks should let Tripoli go and give me Alexandria, and they eventually agree.
I'm strong enough with the English alliance that Castile isn't attacking me, and I am prosperous enough that my inflation is finally going down. One of my dreams is to dismember Castile, but my goal is just to keep creeping down into Africa with colonies. I also built up my own fleet back to a dozen good warships and am working on trade tech now so I can get 50% efficiency. Despite everything, my merchants make me in the top three or four for income (although inflation effectively drops me to the bottom of the top ten).
Things are less desperate, although a war in which England peaces out early versus Castile would still wreck me. So far, Castile won't start any fights. Any tips on where I should go next to strengthen Morocco?
@demokratickid, they are traitors.
@comagoosie, they invade my islands a lot, but there has only been one successful invasion of Morocco so far.
@Llywelyn, I thought about it! But then I got stubborn and wanted to see how bad Morocco would look after the peace so I could play out the inevitable destruction and post the results. Instead, they gave me back my entire country for a handful of ducats.
@robou, France is starting to get scary. Maybe it's due to their reputation, but they won't ally with me no matter how good our relations get. Their reputation, by the way, is worse than hated throughout the known world.
- - - = = = - - -
Lessee. . . it's been almost thirty years, four leaders, and some major changes. Here's the update by leader.
Sultan Hasam I (and last)
This guy was not a diplomatic genius, which told me I wouldn't get to make Algiers or Tunisia my vassals, and definitely would not get France as my ally. His military was four stars, but the enemy started doing exactly what I predicted. They started blockading my ports and sending me low-ball peace offers. Eventually, I went with this: give Andorra
)) and Girona to Castile and let Sardinia go, which meant the Islamic Sultanate of Sardinia would be protected as an ally of Castile! I hoped that would end Castile's "Finish the Reconquista!" mission but those islands off the coast of Spain must still be pissing them off. Oh, I also sold Muslim Crete to the Ottomans for 2000 ducats. In 1482, I shifted to a Noble Republic and put the emirs in charge - for mental roleplay, Hasam must've been heirless and ill, because he died the next day - and so Emir 'Uthmân Barek, a diplomatic and military genius, took over.
'Uthmân Barek
Nothing. He didn't do anything for eight years other than get my stability from -3 to +2. Well, since it was eight years, obviously he fought one or two minor wars with Castile, but those are turning into little naval battles: they lose a ship or I lose a ship and then I pay a few ducats to each of the members of Castile's alliance until they go away. Traditionally, the Ottomans get into the war but don't do anything for me. I figure maybe they are scaring Castile off, at least? On the plus note, I seized Portugal's colony south of Rio de Oro around this time and got to keep it. Go me!
Umar Sahiri
1490, this guy, with his 3-3-5 stats, takes over as head emir. I had him for eight years, and he actually did a lot of good. In 1487, I got an alliance with King Edgar of England, which makes me extremely happy since their naval prowess should keep Castile off my back. My peace with Castile has since expired and they haven't attacked me, contrary to their normal tradition of attacking the day the peace expires. Oh, that same year, Emir Umar became Sultan of Algiers too, because I am leader in a personal union there. That's a good tradition, and gets some good RP images in my head. The last thing Umar did was start a war with the Mamaluks. See, they had previously started a war with Tunisia, conquered Tripoli, and generally pissed me off, especially since I had to pull my army out of Egypt before I lost it all. This time, however, their stability is -3 and the Ottomans have occupied Syria, Judea, and the Sinai. I figured it would be easy pickings. Oh, here's a picture of why France is hated so much, scares me so much, and makes me want to be their allies so much:
Isma'il Sahiri
Another Sahiri, nice, and this one 7-8-5. After getting crowned Sultan of Algiers, he creates a national bank (Government 11!), which will help with my inflation problems. After my war with the Mamuluks, my income will be good enough and I'll be rich enough that I can drop my monthly cash down to zero and get .1 inflation reduction per turn - that'll help with my 35-40% inflation I'm at, but not by a lot. Then Isma'il finishes the war with the hapless Mamaluks:
The English help me, but peace out midway through, so I finish the occupation of Egypt myself and move on to Syria and Judea after the Ottomans leave. My terms are that the Mamaluks should let Tripoli go and give me Alexandria, and they eventually agree.
I'm strong enough with the English alliance that Castile isn't attacking me, and I am prosperous enough that my inflation is finally going down. One of my dreams is to dismember Castile, but my goal is just to keep creeping down into Africa with colonies. I also built up my own fleet back to a dozen good warships and am working on trade tech now so I can get 50% efficiency. Despite everything, my merchants make me in the top three or four for income (although inflation effectively drops me to the bottom of the top ten).
Things are less desperate, although a war in which England peaces out early versus Castile would still wreck me. So far, Castile won't start any fights. Any tips on where I should go next to strengthen Morocco?
I would push through North Africa by diplomacy or conquest and take all those same-culture, same-religion provinces to strengthen your tax, production, and manpower bases. The ivory in Tripoli becomes very valuable as the game progresses (constables, assessors, etc.). If you take Egypt, you can plant some colonies in Sudan, which should remain empty if you move quickly. Then you can move into the Horn of Africa, and then Swahili who has a bunch of pagan provinces you can convert to your culture. There's some gold down there too, I believe.
Just take all of Africa. It'd be super cool.
Just take all of Africa. It'd be super cool.
You lost Andorra? I can't ever speak to you again unless you conquer it back soon! That is Morocco's Mission from me. This is no laughing matter, and you exactly why!
