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    The realm rejoices as Paradox Interactive announces the launch of Crusader Kings III, the latest entry in the publisher’s grand strategy role-playing game franchise. Advisors may now jockey for positions of influence and adversaries should save their schemes for another day, because on this day Crusader Kings III can be purchased on Steam, the Paradox Store, and other major online retailers.


    Real Strategy Requires Cunning

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Russia - land of the Tzar. In the earlier part of the nineteenth century, it is a prosperous nation. Agriculture is key to this great nation, but yet the upper class rules violently. Russia has always been violent within the walls of Moscow and Saint Petersburg, and the country is perfect for revo-

00003.bmp


NO!!! McClippit, how did you get to the nineteenth century?

I took the train.

And why do you have a hat with a logo on it non-existent for another hundred or so years?

I dunno

You're some timetravelling paperclip, aren't you?

Yeah.

Well, you ruined my last AAR, so go away.

You ruined it yourself, and the named Cliperovski.

Whatever, you can help. I present to you all:

More Vodka, I Say!

Alright!

00001.bmp


Europe, 1836 or somewhere around there. Russia is surrounded by annoying people, annoying people the Tzar does not like. Because he's in an alcohol-induced coma, Cliperovski and I will be taking over for him. The first order of business is-

WAR!!!

Okay, war. We have two options for war: both have no armies, no allies, and one of them is Georgia.

But Bob Barr is from Georgia, Morgan!

Not that Georgia, Clip. I mean the other Georgia.

00002.bmp


Thanks for that bit of info, Clip. I think we should leave the decision to the viewer at home. If you would like us to attack Krakow, text 1, if you would like us to attack the non-American Georgia, text 2. Your votes will be recorded whenever I feel like it.

Also, remind me to never use OpenOffice to write all this code.

Maybe you should use Microsoft Office! The old version with me in it!

NO.
 

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:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
 

Count Lake

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I want to be laughing too, but I can't see the pictures! They are just red x's :(
 

Count Lake

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Nevermind, they are there now and :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: and I vote 1.
 

unmerged(84988)

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At the begining I reference another AAR I did. It was for EUIII and it was called "Bloody Good Scotch." Sadly, France became the most powerful nation on Earth, and I gave up.

Krakow it is...I might be able to get the update up tonight.
 

unmerged(84988)

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Note: If you're offended by jokes about British, Italians, Poles, Russians, or anybody else, just go away and don't read this.

Chapter I - This. Is. RUSSIA!!!​

The votes are in, and the winner of the "who do we attack?" contest is...Krakow!

Horay!

00004.bmp


Krakow falls in less than a few days. Silly poles, thinking they can set up a tiny little state in between a bunch of superpowers. Anyways - now that all that's done, I would like to begin some economic reforms, since the current economic state of Russia is sort of poor.

00005.bmp


I will raise tariffs, and I will also make a modest tax increase on the rich.

Booo! Socialist!

Do you have any ideas, Clip?

Yes - INVADE EUR-

Besides pilliaging.

Then nothing.

Let me do this then. Because of our reforms to the economy, our monthly deficit has turned into a surplus! I have issued the expansion of farms and other production facilities across Novgorod, and I am saving up to build an alcohol distillery in Poland.

00006.bmp


Yay!

Problem is, my economic reforms have caused some corruption in Mother Russia.

00007.bmp


So what? Corruption in Russia is like Italians in New York, can't get rid of them, so you just have to live with them.

Yeah, guess you're right.

Next time: my economic reforms continue, and-

WAR WITH PRUSSIA!

No.

They stole our name, and added a P onto it.

No, too many allies.

Pussy.
 

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Hahaha!

This is the first Victoria AAR I have read and I can't stop laughing. Poles and Potatoes= ingredients for vodka lmao! Good job with Krakow too!
 

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Next time: my economic reforms continue, and-

WAR WITH PRUSSIA!

No.

They stole our name, and added a P onto it.

No, too many allies.

Pussy.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

But why does Paperclip guy speak with red text? Doesn't that make HIM an socialist? :p
 

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Word is the solution for all problems indeed.
 

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This aar is approved by me.
 

unmerged(84988)

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The next update should be up tonight...I have the pictures and whatnot, but I just need to write the chapter, and then post it and whatnot. I'm busy with another thing or two, but don't worry!