Marrying Courtiers is Tedious

[Thrumdi]

I'm a new player (40 hours clocked), and I love CKII. I have just the basic game now, but like it so much I'll be getting the rest of the DLC at Christmas.

However, there is one thing that keeps me starting a new game immediately after the first. And that is: marrying courtiers.

I dread having to go through my list deciding who is eligible. And then, you have to go through a second list and find eligible wives for all these courtiers. To me this is complete busywork, and just not fun. In my opinion, it should be automated, like filling mayor or bishops slots with vassals.

That said, the finding of spouses for my offspring, and planning claims and successions is one of the thrilling parts of the game. The difference here is, it feeds right in to the whole conflict between dynasties and their survival. Marrying courtiers on the other hand is all about getting stats for your council. This is kind of "gamey". But that isn't the problem. The problem is it's gamey + tedious, which equals not fun.

Anyways, my two cents. I'm not sure how long-time players feel about this, but that is what I see with fresh eyes.

 

[Dakk]

Simple answer: don't bother about their mundane marriages

 

[unmerged(494787)]

You marry your courtiers?

You only get the half-stat spouse bonus for state attributes, which coutiers don't have. The AI doesn't marry most of their courtiers either.

 

[Verenti]

You don't need to do marry courtiers at all. You tend to get new courtiers periodically, so it is not so important that those who do serve have served your dynasty for centuries. If you don't like it, don't do it. I usually only marry courtiers as a reward for their service. But, yes, maybe there should be an event where they choose their own spouses from low nobility or lowborns. Plus, if you click the rings next to their portrait on their character page, it shows you a list of acceptable candidates, allowing you to quickly marry them off to whomever.

 

[cybrxkhan]

You don't need to marry your courtiers. In fact, I advise you don't - I'm actually addicted to being matchmaker, marrying off the "right" people to each other (or, if they're bad, nasty people, I marry them off to someone horrible).

The only courtiers you really want to think about marrying are either those who have claims you want to take someday, or those who have good congenital traits (genius, quick, attractive, strong, and others if you are playing with mods that add some), since their children might inherit that, and having another generation of geniuses to help your next generation is always nice.

Otherwise the only reason to marry courtiers is for roleplaying reasons.

 

[Kimberly]

Marrying a foreign courtier with good traits can be a good way to get him to come over to serve on your council, if he won't accept a normal invitation. (Note that the marriage must be matrilineal, for him to come live with his wife rather than her coming to him.)

 

[cybrxkhan]

Marrying a foreign courtier with good traits can be a good way to get him to come over to serve on your council, if he won't accept a normal invitation. (Note that the marriage must be matrilineal, for him to come live with his wife rather than her coming to him.)

Or you can marry your female courtier to a male courtier of a different religion (or different sect/heresy within your religion if she is zealous), and then invite her back because she now hates her infidel liege.

 

[Thrumdi]

See, this is what I love about CKII. There's no "right" way to play it.

Thanks so much for the advice: I'll let my courtiers linger in celibate hell for a while, until they can be seen to.

(My thinking on marrying them was to bring wives with desirable traits into court. They then will be available to pass on the traits through Guardianship, and also to their children, who would fill the council in 16 years time. But I guess this is overplaying, judging from the response. So on with the fun!).

 

[unmerged(494787)]

I find it much simpler to hunt around and poach other ruler's councilors if I don't have one already available than try and raise my own. As long as the interface remains the way it is, this will likely remain so.

 

[Effixel]

I usually don't marry courtiers, simply because I'm too busy dealing with my neighbours and try to steal their lands. But since my liege decided to switch to Absolute Crown Authority, I cannot expand my realmthrough war anymore (I cannot even launcha holy war... meh), I had to find another occupation: marrying courtiers.

 

[Saulot]

See, this is what I love about CKII. There's no "right" way to play it.

Thanks so much for the advice: I'll let my courtiers linger in celibate hell for a while, until they can be seen to.

(My thinking on marrying them was to bring wives with desirable traits into court. They then will be available to pass on the traits through Guardianship, and also to their children, who would fill the council in 16 years time. But I guess this is overplaying, judging from the response. So on with the fun!).

It's not a bad idea at all, but if you don't enjoy it because you find it tedious, then why bother?

 

[SlackBladder]

I like pairing up the courtiers already in my court for no reason.

 

[Olaus Petrus]

There are only few occasions when I marry my courtiers: I have courtier with claim in my court and I want that my ruler's family will inherit the claim, there is aging widow (sister or aunt of my ruler) in my court who I can't marry to anyone landed to get alliance and who is complaining that she is unmarried, so I marry her to one of my courtiers or when AI ruler wants to marry my (usually lowborn) courtier. I marry lowborn courtiers to my family members only when I'm playing as Muslim and there just aren't any noblewomen available at the start of the scenario.

 

[markmid]

Leave it as it is please, I don't want automatic marriages and prefer to pick and choose.

I marry those I think worth keeping stat and skill wise, or when I am low on people in the court, or if its a famous name, occasionally to spread a culture, appearance or religion etc. Very rarely I may do something irrational for a playthrough such as decide I will favor characters with blue eyes as an example.

Otherwise why bother if you don't like it, you get enough as it is.

 

[Kimberly]

I think it might not be a bad idea if some courtiers selected partners automatically, and then asked for your permission. Especially for courtiers with the ambition to get married, they should select a spouse they like and who the other lord would agree to, and you can choose to sanction the marriage or refuse. (Refusal causes a relationship hit with both courtiers, and once refused they will not ask again.) It would help keep your court a bit more dynamic, without actually relinquishing any control.

 

[Berkis]

It is tedious, but you dont have to marry them all. I usually look for courtiers, who might be good guardians for my heirs. And of the specific cultures, if I wish to change that of my dynasty

 

[Bj0rn]

I like to sometimes have my favorite Courtiers (usually one that was a good marshal or something of the sort) have kids and continue his line Then, when I have the resources for such, I'd give his descendant a Barony.

 

[Bj0rn]

I think it might not be a bad idea if some courtiers selected partners automatically, and then asked for your permission. Especially for courtiers with the ambition to get married, they should select a spouse they like and who the other lord would agree to, and you can choose to sanction the marriage or refuse. (Refusal causes a relationship hit with both courtiers, and once refused they will not ask again.) It would help keep your court a bit more dynamic, without actually relinquishing any control.

I liked this idea. It would be pretty interesting

 

[CB60]

I like pairing up the courtiers already in my court for no reason.

Yeah, it's one of my favorite things to do. I like to think of Wales as a cosmopolitan kind of place.

 

[drake546]

i tend to marry my courtiers away matrinlineally to far off women once my court gets too big. I wish there was a "banish from court" button.