Chapter Seven - Really interesting times
It should have been just an ordinary hunt. A minor break from the war with the neighboring Duchy of Tyrol. Count Albrecht's hound had just found the trail of the stag Albrecht had wanted to kill for many weeks.
Shwush, shwush! And it is not the stag who is hit by arrows.
Hey! Who helped the story-teller out of the oubliette? Guards!
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The morons from Tyrol failed in the simplest plot
ever. What do you want done well, do on your own. But on the other hand, who could actually want to be honorable? Honor sucks. I am the Shadow, I do not care about silly, outlived
virtues.
Blah, blah, war is declared on Albrecht (original name and original hairstyle, original equals terrible).
And his uncle responds with an open rebellion against me. He says: You are a murderer! I say: Two birds with one stone.
Also, Gerlach died. I am so
sad. Let's hire the new dork. And I almost forgot - Gebhard, whose father begged in Vienna for bread, is now a
Duke of Bavaria.How is that possible? He is just sitting there, in Nürnberg, and awarded titles! Apparently, who does nothing, nothing spoils and thus deserves a reward. The world is so
unjust! I hate you, Gebhard. But you could actually support me in this righteous and noble war, couldn't you? (I won't build up the tension - the answer is no.)
Stupid Karloman arrived in Vienna, took my money
and walked into the closest inn and got drunk as hell. Then he fled after seeing the Styrian army approaching. It is surely a plot against me. And the cook has to have fingers in it.
Meanwhile my forces crush the Tyrolian army near Landeck. It was a cakewalk.
Here you can see me, winning the war. Take that, both Albrechts! Karloman is also finally defeating the Otto's army at Melk.
AND here he wins it with 108,3%. Finally I got what I paid for. Gerlach was much better. I do not believe I have actually said that.
Oldrich died. Not that I care - he has been as important as a cockroach after his stupid father lost the Imperial crown. Also the Polish morons declared war on the Reich. That might become a problem, considering that a Kaiser of the House von What-is-its-name-again rules Germany.
Next month, Otto accepts he has lost. How
unexpected. Oh gee, I am so bored. Not even torturing excites me anymore.
The war against Poland is not going well. Come on, Kaiser - they are just
Slavs! Even you should stand a chance. Just slaughter some of them and you will be fine.
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Heh, heheh, heheheheh! Otto asks me for some
better accommodation. Funny man! I shall fulfill his wish - throw him into the dungeon! Heh. Better accommodation. I have been wrong - torturing
is fun. Especially when it is meaningless.
My widowed sister marries a Kaiser's son. She is already old and used, so that marriage will have to do. Anyway, they have similar haircut.
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I am now the Duke of Two Duchies! Fall on your knees before me and tremble! Yes, do both at once. Thomas asked, whether we are already in the annals of history. No, dear, there is still much to be done...
The title brings some minor cleaning stuff with:
Also note that this is the position the von Andechsers should all be in - puny counts falling before me. And trembling, of course. There is nothing better than trembling.
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The March is now stronger than anytime before, all hail the Margrave, i.e. me. I use Latin stuff. Cool, isn't it? No, I do not have to search for it everytime I use it. No, I am not hiding a dictionary behind my back. No, it just...grr, go away! I am the Shadow.
Note that the Holy Roman Empire is not only losing, it is
losing. And with poles (a cunning pun). Maybe I should saddle my war horse, call my soldiers and rescue the day? Take part in the almost lost battle with the dawn behind my back? Fight to the death with God and the name of my liege on my lips?
Or I can go torturing Otto. Decisions, decisions...
. But you know, the Duke is dead, long live the duke.
