13th Chapter, 2nd Season
To hell
o
A day too late, damn...
The fall Tolouse to the Catalan armies was quite well received but for duke Raymond, who attempetd to save his remaining fiefdoms with paultry results. Phillip of France tried to get rid of the Catalan pest, but with worse results, as he saw his army being mercessley murdered in a succession of boring battles.
Thus Steiner decided it was time to send his loved helpers to their sacred mission. And thus they departed, in spirited humor, specially m'lord Myth and m'lord Discomb, who were the last to join the party. There they went when...
Steiner asked to his loyal dog, Peti:
-Mmmh... is that the map that you should have given to the expedition?
Peti swallowed his pizza and answered back:
-It looks so.
-So... which map have you given them? -Steiner asked, with a cold feeling on his neck.
-The one that Baldrick gave me... one that had written on it "To hell".
-Shit... they are going to go to... well, a pity... what do we have for dinner?
-Pizza.
-I knew it...
Once the expedition arrived to a cove where they could read a sign written in big letters ("Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate" or "Abandon all hope ye who enter here"), no one of them cared much, as their girlfrieds weren't called Hope nor they were lascivious beings. Thus they entered into the malign cove.
Threre they found a huge body of souls which were walking in his mortal and decaying flesh to a dirty river in the endless night of the cove. Once the souls reached the bank of the river kept wandering, following some unseen banners, while wasps, hornets and green goats kept harrassing them. Once on the shores of the river, no one dared to cross, and kept as distant as they could from the dark waters. Our mighty heroes, leaded by Cardinal Petrus, rushed forwards, all courage and guts.
Far away a thrilling sound could be heard:
-CHIRIIIIIIIIIIIIIINK, CHIIIIIIIIIIIIIRINK, CHIRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINK...
-What the heck is that? -Judas asked.
-Shit -Enewald added-, I think I forgot to say to my lady that I was on tour with the expedition...
-Damn -Canonized muttered to himself-. I think I forgot to put the video to record Ophra's show. Wait... Ophra in the Middle Ages?
Petrus then asked to one of the wandering souls:
-What is that disgusting noise that poisons my ears?
-What? -the dead replied, surprised.
-What the f**** is that, you fool?
-Oh, it's Charon, the ferryman of Hades, who's getting old and has all his bones crying in vain. That or its ferry, too ancient to keep tooking the newly dead across the Acheron river.
-How do you know it? -Comagoosie asked- How long since you've been here?
-Have you heard about "Delenda est Cartago"? Since then, fella.
Then, far away, they all could see the white hair of Charon, who, with terrible eyes, was looking for them to take them to the other side of the river.
