let's plan a game

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Originally posted by Dark Knight:

Originally posted by Sapura:
It was a mistake to sully my name in public, your highness. As of 15th of October, you have no army. Without an army, your words are hollow threats, like a blunt dagger..
Prepare to abdicate the throne.

Grand Hetman Sapura, consider the forces of Hungary at your disposal in your attempt to deal with Poland's vacillating monarch. We hope that you will ally with us against the Turkish infidels.

APKicks,
Surely you realize that the forces of Christendom will overwhelm you should you dare to attack the Papacy or a holy Order of Knights.

King of the Magyars and all the Lands of the Crown of St. Stephen

Aaaah, a king of Hungary, i was actually expecting one for some time. So i understand that then Poland must renonce his claims on your throne. By the way i consider your last proposal as a casus belli (thank you for giving me one) and i will see you at Mohacs.
See you soon,
From now on, i have no more problem with Poland, will Poland join me to claim his crown over Hungary while i only request my usual three southern provinces ?

The Mighty Sultan.

 

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Hetman, am i the scum?

 

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Originally posted by APKicks:
Hetman, am i the scum?

I was talking about the ungreatful king of Hungary.



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King of the Mighty Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth. decendant of the great Jagiellonian Dynasty.

 

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Originally posted by APKicks:
Hetman, am i the scum?

He was speaking of the king of Hungary(life expectancy 20 years at the max)

 

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Sapura, your position on Knights, and Papal State please ..


To apkicks, a loyal jester,

They are vital members of the anti-Ottoman, my little whipper-snapper. However I am still in negotiations as the new provisional ruler of the Commonwealth. Much will depend on the overtures of the Sultan, however I do see that a certain Dark Knight is offering me a proposal .. hmm..


Sultan,

You've refused my offer, therefore do not expect anything else from me. Despicable worm, I will crush you under my foot before the year is out -- if you dare to face me.


King of the Magyars and all the Lands of the Crown of St. Stephen,


You've convinced me of your good intentions. The Sultan has spat in my face and I will not negotiate with him anymore. I will make him eat the boiled heads of his janissaries in Krakow before long. I accept your proposal and here agree to defend your borders against the Sultan of Hell, the Sultan of Funk, Crusader the boil on Satan's bum.


To the Pretender,

Hetman Polski, your fantasies are your own. They matter not to me, nor to your lost subjects and .. they are lost to you, forever, your 'highness'. As you see above you, I have just concluded a treaty with King Dark Knight of Hungary, .. how can you believe I would ever give Hungary to that bag of fat in Constantinople? Clever ploys and tricks are obviously not words within your vocabulary you son of a Swedish peasant!!!

Grand Hetman Sapura, provisional leader of the Commonwealth.

 

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Originally posted by Crusader:

From now on, i have no more problem with Poland, will Poland join me to claim his crown over Hungary while i only request my usual three southern provinces ?

The Mighty Sultan.

very well. the invincible forces of the 'Commonwealth' will join the mighty Turkish forces. Sapura a.k.a Hetman Chmielnicki, his fellow Ataman's (Atamen?)
and Dark knight will all be impaled on the day when Hungary falls.


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King of the Mighty Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth. decendant of the great Jagiellonian Dynasty.

 

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Originally posted by Sapura:
Sapura, your position on Knights, and Papal State please ..

Sultan,

You've refused my offer, therefore do not expect anything else from me. Despicable worm, I will crush you under my foot before the year is out -- if you dare to face me.

Grand Hetman Sapura, provisional leader of the Commonwealth.

What offer ?

 

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To Chrush Hetman Polski, which may i suggest sounds like a Grand Idea.

 

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TO APKICKS:
we don't need a buffer state. I don't plan an invasion of Turkey. and if Turkey plans an invasion of Poland then I know that you're going to support the Sultan.
nice try

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King of the Mighty Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth. decendant of the great Jagiellonian Dynasty.

 

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I'm starting to have trouble to understand Poland. Am i to be allied or crushed ?
Would the less amiable of these two gentlemen remember that Poland is already in virtual state of war with Sweden, Spain and Russia and that threatening and insulting the master of the most powerfull army of the time will not improve his position.

The mighty Sultan

 

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Originally posted by APKicks:
To Chrush Hetman Polski, which may i suggest sounds like a Grand Idea.

I don't like your attitude.



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King of the Mighty Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth. decendant of the great Jagiellonian Dynasty.

 

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Originally posted by Crusader:
I'm starting to have trouble to understand Poland. Am i to be allied or crushed ?
Would the less amiable of these two gentlemen remember that Poland is already in virtual state of war with Sweden, Spain and Russia and that threatening and insulting the master of the most powerfull army of the time will not improve his position.

The mighty Sultan

Sapura doesn't speak for the 'Commonwealth'. he speaks for the infidel, heretic, Heathen-scum who call them selves Cossacks.


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King of the Mighty Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth. decendant of the great Jagiellonian Dynasty.

 

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OK, Hetman, you have a deal, we crush every body and then rule the world..=%£^$
Sorry wrong typing, i mean we crush the cossack and Hungary. You have your two crowns and i have my three Damned provinces.
And then we go each our way you to the north and me to the south. It seems that the usurper and the king of the Magyars have made more for our alliance than anyone of us.

The Mighty Sultan

 

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Well, regardless of who emerges as King of Poland, I hope the Franco-Polish alliance will still be intact.

 

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Sultan,

The day you cross the boundaries of Hungary is the day you go straight to hell, where you belong.

Pretender,

Your words are meaningless. The army will only follow me, therefore you are powerless.
Be warned, my troops are arriving in Warsaw soon to escort you out, it would be easier if you decided not to argue.


King Vurbil,

I welcome and support our continued alliance. This is purely a house cleaning matter, you do not have to concern or worry yourself about.


Grand Hetman of the Crown, Sapura.

Provisional leader.


[This message has been edited by Sapura (edited 15-10-2000).]

 

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Which Poland is Turkey alligned to?

 

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Hetman de Sapura,

Très bon! J'espère que vous ne vous opposez pas à mon parler dans ma langue maternelle, mais l'anglais est un tel uncivilized le langage. La grande nation de l'ouest, de la France, et de la grande nation de l'est, Pologne, incitera nos ennemis à trembler dans la crainte. D'Islande dans le nord vers l'Algérie dans le sud, de Madrid vers Moscou, les gens diront, la 'Mort unto tous ce qui s'opposent à l'alliance de la France et de la Pologne!'

Votre allié fidèle,
Le roi de la France

 

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To his excellency, King Vurbil,


Do I see a re-approachement between our two nations I must say I am happy to have received your kind msg in my humble abode not too long ago.

Yes, French is the language that should be spoken, english disgusts me. Latin, French, Polish, should rule the continent, by force of arms as well as culturally. My servants and teachers are in the process of teaching me your beautiful language..

I agree, anyone that dares to oppose our alliance shall meet his death. Starting with the pretender Herman Polski, I am in the process of cleaning the Commonwealth of his supports as we speak. I believe he may garrison Warsaw against my forces and it pains me dearly to see my most beautiful capital ruined because some pretender, a fool, a man that sullied my good name is selfish enough to destroy our city, our countrymen have so lovingly built from the ground. However, if it must be, it must be. He cannot defend against the combined arms of the Crown army.

By next summmer I believe the Prince of Pommerania will sitting rightfully on the throne in Warsaw. I look foward, as always your majesty, to the future and a possible summit in Paris or Warsaw as to the course our alliance should take in dividing the uncivilized and unworthy nations of Europe between us. Your generals, my armies, our forces shall rule the continent!

As always, I bow to you your highness and wish you health and prosperity.


Grand Hetman of the Crown, Sapura.
Provisional Leader of the Commonwealth.

[This message has been edited by Sapura (edited 15-10-2000).]

 

[Zagys]

His Holiness is saddened by news of the possibility of a civil war in Poland, I only hope it is not too late to resolve this unfortunate situation peacefully.

It appears that the current king of Poland has requested the assistance of the enemies of Christ, demonstrating to Our Most Holy Person that he is unfit to rule a Christian nation.

I was about to support Grand Hetman Sapura's wishes, but shall not do so now due to a secret report sent to me recently which attests to the character of this rebellious Polish lord.

This report brings to light details of the rebel leader's intimate relationships with numerous men under his command, several of whom he has fornicated with on many occasions. It has also been brought to my attention that Grand Hetman Sapura has often demanded young boys be brought to him in his headquarters, where he then proceeded to sexually abuse them, violently.

These actions of rampant and promiscuous homosexuality and pedophilia are more befitting of an Islamist than a Christian leader, and cannot be tolerated!

If these claims are untrue, then the accused must prove his innocence to the Vatican. If he is unable or unwilling to do so, he shall be declared an enemy of the Church!

His Holiness

[This message has been edited by Zagys (edited 15-10-2000).]

 

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rofl .... and I suppose members of the Papcy are above suspicion when it comes to deviancy and reaming altar boys ..


To Christ's right hand man, his most holy representative on earth, Pope Zagys,


Your eminence, I am distressed and horrified by the accusations leveled against me. No doubt the secret report you received was sent to you by agents of hetman Polski, the pretender. As to the reports of young men being brought into my tent for a bit of zagy-zagging before battle, it is a completle lie. Let me explain: it is my job as the commander of the army to show my troops how a soldier of the Virgin is supposed to carry himself. Every man has his urges and it would be very wrong of me to allow our soldiers to see women arriving at my tent on a night prior to battling the barbarians. Therefore I have found a way of keeping my roving genitalia a secret, by disguising the women that arrive in my tent as men, soldiers, servants. Once within my tent they reveal their true sexuality. I hope this clears up the misconceptions for you, your holyness.

As always, your first general against the heaven scum,

Grand Hetman of the Crown, Sapura

Provisional Leader of the Commonwealth.