Knud Knýtling, Prince of Denmark (and other assorted tales)
- Thread starter phargle
- Start date
-
We have updated our Community Code of Conduct. Please read through the new rules for the forum that are an integral part of Paradox Interactive’s User Agreement.
I wonder what awaits this new Knud, maybe the throne of Denmark, eh... eh? Wink-wink, nudge-nudge say no more!
Knud is back with a vengeance, and some rather unusual marriage prospects. Top job!
I am enjoying this much...these Danish princes remind of Richie and Eddie from Bottom (though somewhat more articulate and less lecherous)...keep going!
phargle said:
:rofl: :rofl:
I just read your whole AAR. Damn funny stuff, I actually had to hide behind my screen so my colleagues wouldn't see me giggle!
"She can gyda me into her vestfolds any time she feels the need to express her desire."
:rofl: So,Valdemar is gone,lets see what little Knud can do.
:rofl: So,Valdemar is gone,lets see what little Knud can do.
Oh dear, oh dear,
Valdemar has passed away,
But Knud, He´s here to stay,
and Ingeborg has lots to say,
Regarding his acts of the final day.
So sad. Let´s hope Knud will keep his end up. And not give everything to the church.
DW
Valdemar has passed away,
But Knud, He´s here to stay,
and Ingeborg has lots to say,
Regarding his acts of the final day.
So sad. Let´s hope Knud will keep his end up. And not give everything to the church.
DW
Responses.
Well, it's time to start on Knud II's misadventures, but first a few responses to the readers.
Cat Lord, Valdemar just became more and more perverse as time went on. 'Rawr' seemed to fit. And your pun about Ingeborg was spot on!
Grim Pagan, there are more things in life than having a great set of stats. Besides, playing to win isn't as much as playing to Knud.
Snake IV, Valdemar did indeed die a happy man. And I hope you're not too grumpy with having to wait for today's update.
stynlan, you're like a one-man Knud fan club! Yeah, Valdemar got more than his fair share of looking after.
Dead William, a fine bit of poetry, but you'll find that Valdemar loved Ingeborg for keeping her mouth open or closed at the right times. And yes, let's see how the new Knud does with regards to the church. Both his predecessors had special relationships with it.
angryclown, Knud is back and will have some vengeance. Should be fun.
Mr. Capiatlist, to tell the truth, I've forgotten most of what this new Knud did and haven't done more than a few updates of screenies. But I am pretty sure he's as loyal as his predecessors were. Stay tuned and see.
Drozh, I dunno what Bottom is, but it sure sounds naughty.
Emren, if I can get someone weird looks at work, my job here is done.
EvilSanta, heh, both you and Emren picked out the rude name jokes! They were some of the most fun to write. I hope Knud's up to par, but I don't think he'll be the pervert Valdemar was.
Pirate Z, even the most putrid stew has a few nice bits of meat! And now, on to Knud II. . .
Well, it's time to start on Knud II's misadventures, but first a few responses to the readers.
Cat Lord, Valdemar just became more and more perverse as time went on. 'Rawr' seemed to fit. And your pun about Ingeborg was spot on!
Grim Pagan, there are more things in life than having a great set of stats. Besides, playing to win isn't as much as playing to Knud.
Snake IV, Valdemar did indeed die a happy man. And I hope you're not too grumpy with having to wait for today's update.
stynlan, you're like a one-man Knud fan club! Yeah, Valdemar got more than his fair share of looking after.
Dead William, a fine bit of poetry, but you'll find that Valdemar loved Ingeborg for keeping her mouth open or closed at the right times. And yes, let's see how the new Knud does with regards to the church. Both his predecessors had special relationships with it.
angryclown, Knud is back and will have some vengeance. Should be fun.
Mr. Capiatlist, to tell the truth, I've forgotten most of what this new Knud did and haven't done more than a few updates of screenies. But I am pretty sure he's as loyal as his predecessors were. Stay tuned and see.
Drozh, I dunno what Bottom is, but it sure sounds naughty.
Emren, if I can get someone weird looks at work, my job here is done.
EvilSanta, heh, both you and Emren picked out the rude name jokes! They were some of the most fun to write. I hope Knud's up to par, but I don't think he'll be the pervert Valdemar was.
Pirate Z, even the most putrid stew has a few nice bits of meat! And now, on to Knud II. . .
A fabulous Knud pouts.
The Metrosexual Adventures of Duke Knud
As told with many pictures. And few words.
(the quality is low because there's a lot of them. pictures that is. the low quality of the words is all my fault though.)
1141 - 1142
I'm Knud Knýtling, the 2nd Duke of Skåne. Valdemar was my great-uncle.
My turn-ons include getting my hair done and giving away my money to poor people.
My turn-offs include war, bald men, and it being illegal to kill my wife.
I give Viken to Bo so Öystein can't inherit. Bo knows elective law.
The pagans in Cuman are really strong. The king of Hungary owns part of Sweden.
And I own all kinds of neat places.
The king asks for my soldiers, but I am not sure why or where he's going.
Naturally, I accept.
Our great-grandparents were brothers. That makes us practically cousins!
Land for me? Oh, I already have a lot of that. You can keep it.
Did anybody else hear that rattling sound in uncle Valdemar's mausoleum?
My uncle's will ordered me to divest the Orkneys of all of their lands.
He said no. I'm having a pout now. Knud's pouting. And. . . I'm spent.
Do you see this guy's eyebrows? Ick. I'm taking his lands away for sure.
My chancellor tells me that the papal states moved to Salisbury. In England, of all places. Gross.
Why couldn't he pick somewhere pretty and historical, like Rome?
I swear, a bunch of brown people with scimitars show up and everybody has to make a big crusade out of it.
Mmmm. I'll be his papal controller any time.
Giorgio? More like giorgious!
His land says no, but his heart says yes.
As told with many pictures. And few words.
(the quality is low because there's a lot of them. pictures that is. the low quality of the words is all my fault though.)
1141 - 1142
I'm Knud Knýtling, the 2nd Duke of Skåne. Valdemar was my great-uncle.
My turn-ons include getting my hair done and giving away my money to poor people.
My turn-offs include war, bald men, and it being illegal to kill my wife.
I give Viken to Bo so Öystein can't inherit. Bo knows elective law.
The pagans in Cuman are really strong. The king of Hungary owns part of Sweden.
And I own all kinds of neat places.
The king asks for my soldiers, but I am not sure why or where he's going.
Naturally, I accept.
Our great-grandparents were brothers. That makes us practically cousins!
Land for me? Oh, I already have a lot of that. You can keep it.
Did anybody else hear that rattling sound in uncle Valdemar's mausoleum?
My uncle's will ordered me to divest the Orkneys of all of their lands.
He said no. I'm having a pout now. Knud's pouting. And. . . I'm spent.
Do you see this guy's eyebrows? Ick. I'm taking his lands away for sure.
My chancellor tells me that the papal states moved to Salisbury. In England, of all places. Gross.
Why couldn't he pick somewhere pretty and historical, like Rome?
I swear, a bunch of brown people with scimitars show up and everybody has to make a big crusade out of it.
Mmmm. I'll be his papal controller any time.
Giorgio? More like giorgious!
His land says no, but his heart says yes.
And so a Knud returns to the throne of Skåne! But can the realm tolerate a kindly incompetent as ruler? What will happen with Knud tries to kill his wife? Knives fly and assassins stalk the corridors of power. Who will die? Stay tuned for more adventures of Knud Knýtling!
Last edited:
- 1
... Why do I get this feeling that when Knud wants to screw over Eystein, he don't mean figuratively?
Phargle, I've been reading this quietly since the beginning, thoroughly enjoying it, chuckling as the story unfolds, but I downright lost it and had to post when I saw this:
"Bo knows elective law."
:rofl:
Now that's just genius! Well done, I can't wait for the next installment when we hear from Mars Blackman.
"Bo knows elective law."
:rofl:
Now that's just genius! Well done, I can't wait for the next installment when we hear from Mars Blackman.
How very ... tame - so far at least! It does sound like he is batting for the other team.
Ttssch! Wuss.
Did you even bother to check his traits before giving this man control over half of sweden?!
Did you even bother to check his traits before giving this man control over half of sweden?!
Kinslayer.
The Metrosexual Adventures of Duke Knud
As told with many pictures. And few words.
(the quality is low because there's a lot of them. pictures that is. the low quality of the words is all my fault though.)
1142 - 1145
I can't believe my steward even lists trout-slapping as a choice. You'd have to have an income of barely 2 ducats to even consider it!
Oh, I would just die. Can you imagine?
Sorry, Bo, but I've got to make an heir the old-fashioned way and you don't know diddling.
My brother Inge is declared my successor until such a time as I have a son.
Doesn't he have the most darling cape?
Cloak. I mean cloak.
I'm off crusading in Rome for the king and didn't even know it.
I drop 500 ducats on a fine castle in Kalmar Län.
What's that rattling sound coming from uncle Valdemar's tomb?
Valdemar didn't leave me a lot of personal land, so I seize my wife's assets.
Assets. I said assets.
No, I don't mean anything lewd by that.
She flees to Beloozero.
Wouldn't you know that she only starts disguising herself as a boy after leaving me?
Now that she's in a different court, I'm really worried that I won't be able to get her pregnant.
Obviously, she must die.
She tries to kill me with a little drummer boy assassin during Christmas.
Pa-rumpy-pum-pum!
Well, that's just a little inconvenient.
As told with many pictures. And few words.
(the quality is low because there's a lot of them. pictures that is. the low quality of the words is all my fault though.)
1142 - 1145
I can't believe my steward even lists trout-slapping as a choice. You'd have to have an income of barely 2 ducats to even consider it!
Oh, I would just die. Can you imagine?
Sorry, Bo, but I've got to make an heir the old-fashioned way and you don't know diddling.
My brother Inge is declared my successor until such a time as I have a son.
Doesn't he have the most darling cape?
Cloak. I mean cloak.
I'm off crusading in Rome for the king and didn't even know it.
I drop 500 ducats on a fine castle in Kalmar Län.
What's that rattling sound coming from uncle Valdemar's tomb?
Valdemar didn't leave me a lot of personal land, so I seize my wife's assets.
Assets. I said assets.
No, I don't mean anything lewd by that.
She flees to Beloozero.
Wouldn't you know that she only starts disguising herself as a boy after leaving me?
Now that she's in a different court, I'm really worried that I won't be able to get her pregnant.
Obviously, she must die.
She tries to kill me with a little drummer boy assassin during Christmas.
Pa-rumpy-pum-pum!
Well, that's just a little inconvenient.
Knud Knýtling, kinslayer? You better believe it, true believer! How will our hero deal with this unfair assault upon his character? How will the feud between the man and his wife end? Don't go away as the adventures of Knud Knýtling continue!
Last edited:
- 1
