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Ozzeh said:No, REAL men have a harem with lotsa chicks
yeah chicks.... sure.... sure they are, however my latest envoy paints a rather more perverted picture of the Sultans harem, a place more in line with an earlier diplomatic response of "I have the pope in my harem".
Besides vodka is needed for the woman in Russia to be classed as chicks.
Envoy? Since when is Russia allowed to send envoys to the Ottoman Empire
Anyway, in one last final statement I'd like to declare that...
I DO NOT HAVE THE BLOODY POPE!
Anyway, in one last final statement I'd like to declare that...
I DO NOT HAVE THE BLOODY POPE!
Brothers! *sigh* Is war really the answer to all your questions? You seem to fear love and peace. It makes me feel sorry for you. Try some spices - or Vodka / a harem for that matter - and just relax. Tend your garden. Love the turtels.
/Abdelkar
/Abdelkar
cobjor said:
For the last time YES!!!!!!
And does the song not say
"War, huuwhah , what is it good for?"
And I will assume that the rest of the song goes on to say how good war is.
Dr Bob said:And does the song not say "War, huuwhah , what is it good for?" And I will assume that the rest of the song goes on to say how good war is.
Frankie goes to Hollywood, wasnt it? Cant remember. Funny, I think the song goes on in another way.
Dr Bob said:
Konrad told me in the game that selling Miunster would cost 800d and no future attack towards German provs,
but in EU MP never say never ... (apart EV who is trustable?)
Elio Vasa said:
Well I am reasonably trustworthy, no lies and deceit here
not broken any promises and no broken NAPs, just pure aggression
Time of instability returned to England. What a surprise. While Spain fought its humongous loans we fought inflation, thinking how many manus could we build with money Spain had to return :wacko: In the meantime stupid indians couldn't understand that wind is a stream of air and not God. We tried to tech them that their only chance, when we send them all in heaven, is Jesus Christ, but noooo they don't need salvation and holy squirrels will save them. We was so pissed that we had to show them God immidiately. When many thousands of indians passed to Kingom of Heaven the rest was started to be convinced.
In the meantime Austria declared war on NL so we came onto the continent for the first time in this century. We also immidiately remembered why we left in the first place. Making babies, was obviously the main job of the german women, because Austrians came in unbelievable quantities. Fisty wondered how does an old Austrian women look like, and after succesful visualisation, he vomited. NL fought like cornered cat but when 9 lives was lost it was THE END. England was in complete disarray. Rebels looted all around British Isles and those few loyal was building ships.
Not long after that court of NL received letter of intruduction from England and thanked on few coins attached with it. English King was invited to dinner with King of NL and when he accepted he had no idea his head will regret that. Now you wonder what happened... King of NL informed his English friend that his treasury is getting above 3000 ducats. Fisty wasn't hungry anymore and only thing he could think of was banging with his head on nearest wall untill he fainted.
When he returned home his advisor informed him that indians don't belive in holy squrells anymore... but that they still can't fathom that God is not a hawk either. Last thought in Fisty's mind before connection was lost was suicide.
While Spain fought its humongous loans we fought inflation, thinking how many manus could we build with money Spain had to return :wacko: In the meantime stupid indians couldn't understand that wind is a stream of air and not God. We tried to tech them that their only chance, when we send them all in heaven, is Jesus Christ, but noooo they don't need salvation and holy squirrels will save them. We was so pissed that we had to show them God immidiately. When many thousands of indians passed to Kingom of Heaven the rest was started to be convinced. In the meantime Austria declared war on NL so we came onto the continent for the first time in this century. We also immidiately remembered why we left in the first place. Making babies, was obviously the main job of the german women, because Austrians came in unbelievable quantities. Fisty wondered how does an old Austrian women look like, and after succesful visualisation, he vomited. NL fought like cornered cat but when 9 lives was lost it was THE END. England was in complete disarray. Rebels looted all around British Isles and those few loyal was building ships.
Not long after that court of NL received letter of intruduction from England and thanked on few coins attached with it. English King was invited to dinner with King of NL and when he accepted he had no idea his head will regret that. Now you wonder what happened... King of NL informed his English friend that his treasury is getting above 3000 ducats. Fisty wasn't hungry anymore and only thing he could think of was banging with his head on nearest wall untill he fainted.
When he returned home his advisor informed him that indians don't belive in holy squrells anymore... but that they still can't fathom that God is not a hawk either. Last thought in Fisty's mind before connection was lost was suicide.
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Dr Bob said:Well I am reasonably trustworthy, no lies and deceit here
yeah
check the signature :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
An heir to the crown!
The war against Denmark was finally over. The Danes ceded control over all their lands, except for the islands in the Sund. Sweden’s rule now extended over all Scandinavia, Iceland and Greenland. King Fnuco was beginning to see new possibilities of colonizing in the new world. Sweden’s glory will be taken to new heights… but not by him… 60 years of age, he was already an old man, and getting his beautiful young Russian wife pregnant was already a miracle.
Walking through the large halls of the newly built palace in Göteborg, he was waiting for his physician to give him an update on his wife’s state. They were expecting a child, and Fnuco prayed every night that it be a boy, an heir to whom he could leave his most magnificent work: the kingdom of Sweden.
“Come, your Majesty. The queen has entered labor.” The physician approached him running.
When the king entered the queen’s chamber, he could only see the royal family’s doctors swarming around the queen’s bed, trying to aid her in this delicate moment. The queen’s cries could be heard throughout the whole palace, as obviously producing an heir to the king was no easy task.
As loud as the mother’s screams were, Fnuco heard one sound. One lovely, unmistakable, promising, hope-giving, life-saving sound. The cry of a newborn baby.
“It’s a boy!” the doctor said, handing him to king Fnuco, after cutting his umbilical cord.
The same phrase was heard in the room, then in the halls, then in the entire palace. A loud gunshot was heard, the first of 101 to announce the birth of a Prince of Jutland. If the child had been a girl, she would have become princess of Gotland, and only 50 gunshots would be fired. To all the people in Goteborg that day, the pause between the 50th and the 51st gunshots was painstakingly long, and it seemed the gunners tried to enhance the suspense by firing the 51st shot with a small delay. Needless to say the 51st shot was greeted with loud cheers, shouts, cries, and prayers of gratitude, as a male heir meant no instability when the king would pass away. A male heir meant a strong Sweden. A male heir meant hope.
King Fnuco was holding his child, looking at him with immense joy. A smile enlightened the king’s wrinkled sun-burnt face. His son! His successor! The future king of Sweden, Denmark and Norway!
“Wait! We are not finished here!” the doctor said.
“Oh my god! Twins?” the queen cried in agony.
The king looked up from the baby and stared quizzically at the physician.
The doctor turned to the king and said:
“N-no, it’s a… ummm… map… of…. The Baltic…”
The war against Denmark was finally over. The Danes ceded control over all their lands, except for the islands in the Sund. Sweden’s rule now extended over all Scandinavia, Iceland and Greenland. King Fnuco was beginning to see new possibilities of colonizing in the new world. Sweden’s glory will be taken to new heights… but not by him… 60 years of age, he was already an old man, and getting his beautiful young Russian wife pregnant was already a miracle.
Walking through the large halls of the newly built palace in Göteborg, he was waiting for his physician to give him an update on his wife’s state. They were expecting a child, and Fnuco prayed every night that it be a boy, an heir to whom he could leave his most magnificent work: the kingdom of Sweden.
“Come, your Majesty. The queen has entered labor.” The physician approached him running.
When the king entered the queen’s chamber, he could only see the royal family’s doctors swarming around the queen’s bed, trying to aid her in this delicate moment. The queen’s cries could be heard throughout the whole palace, as obviously producing an heir to the king was no easy task.
As loud as the mother’s screams were, Fnuco heard one sound. One lovely, unmistakable, promising, hope-giving, life-saving sound. The cry of a newborn baby.
“It’s a boy!” the doctor said, handing him to king Fnuco, after cutting his umbilical cord.
The same phrase was heard in the room, then in the halls, then in the entire palace. A loud gunshot was heard, the first of 101 to announce the birth of a Prince of Jutland. If the child had been a girl, she would have become princess of Gotland, and only 50 gunshots would be fired. To all the people in Goteborg that day, the pause between the 50th and the 51st gunshots was painstakingly long, and it seemed the gunners tried to enhance the suspense by firing the 51st shot with a small delay. Needless to say the 51st shot was greeted with loud cheers, shouts, cries, and prayers of gratitude, as a male heir meant no instability when the king would pass away. A male heir meant a strong Sweden. A male heir meant hope.
King Fnuco was holding his child, looking at him with immense joy. A smile enlightened the king’s wrinkled sun-burnt face. His son! His successor! The future king of Sweden, Denmark and Norway!
“Wait! We are not finished here!” the doctor said.
“Oh my god! Twins?” the queen cried in agony.
The king looked up from the baby and stared quizzically at the physician.
The doctor turned to the king and said:
“N-no, it’s a… ummm… map… of…. The Baltic…”
Abdelkars will*
When you all read this, I am in Nirvana, whatching the endless flow of energy and cookies pass by. Peace at last. Turtels everywhere. Am about to join a caravan of love. Before that, I only have a few words to say to you. YOU ARE FOOLED!
Ha - did you really take my for a hippie? Hahahahah.... There never were a "peace-drum". Neither any "peace-dance", what a nonsens. The poem? Written by a six year old in some kindergarden. Pfffffffff. No, I just made it all up so that you would leave me alone - no one attacks or fears a fool. I did succeed, didn´t I?
But what about my beloved garden? Sure, my garden is Portugal. The weed? All the troubbel a ruler has to deal with, just like there always is some plants in your garden that you must remove or look out for. Never said I smoked it, only that I took care of or tended it. Only thing I smoked was some tobacco. Spice? Sure, I like my curry hot-hot. Spice like a drug? Stupid idea. Italian friends from Sicily? Well, my dog is from Italy......
I will leave my beloved kingdom in the hands of my wise, good-looking, tall and handsome cousin Drizzt.
May god protect Portugal!
Abdelkar
PS: Sorry, forgot. Sultan there are no ninja turtels. What a silly idea!
*This will, whitout any date, was found and made public by Portugals new king Drizzt.
cobjor said:
Yes there are! You just want to keep them all for yourself! *plans attack on Portugal*
The heir of Joohoo Bushman, Jaké's diary.
December 1st
Today I heard my father cough all day. And it was not those silly coughs from a flu. No, my father have smoked a lot of spices in his life. Espicially in his later years. The spices came from the Far East and where traded through the ships of Portugal. His friend Abdelkar sent some of these spices to my father.
I must quit now, says my friend.
December 13
My friend is a lier, he says that my father will die. Why can't my friend disappear instead? Hope he didn't see what I just wrote.
December 30
What have I done to deserve this? I am too young to rule this Empire, no no I am not, I can do this. My friend has become more and more strong. He is inside me more often. Sometimes I don't know what happens. I can see, feel and so on but I don't control my own body and what I say.
January 1st
Today my father died in his bed of sickness. Well he was old too but he could have lived longer if he didn't have smoked so badly. I even read that the Portugal king didn't smoke this stuff as he had told my father. He must've fooled him and wanting my new Empire for himself! Goodnight. Signed Jaké the King of Spain and new Emperor of the New World!
December 1st
Today I heard my father cough all day. And it was not those silly coughs from a flu. No, my father have smoked a lot of spices in his life. Espicially in his later years. The spices came from the Far East and where traded through the ships of Portugal. His friend Abdelkar sent some of these spices to my father.
I must quit now, says my friend.
December 13
My friend is a lier, he says that my father will die. Why can't my friend disappear instead? Hope he didn't see what I just wrote.
December 30
What have I done to deserve this? I am too young to rule this Empire, no no I am not, I can do this. My friend has become more and more strong. He is inside me more often. Sometimes I don't know what happens. I can see, feel and so on but I don't control my own body and what I say.
January 1st
Today my father died in his bed of sickness. Well he was old too but he could have lived longer if he didn't have smoked so badly. I even read that the Portugal king didn't smoke this stuff as he had told my father. He must've fooled him and wanting my new Empire for himself! Goodnight. Signed Jaké the King of Spain and new Emperor of the New World!
Dear king of Spain,
The Portugese is the most loyal ally of the Spanish. We, Drizzt, king of Portugal, regards the Spanish king - may he rule forever! - as a most noble, wise and fair ruler. We are proud and happy to be Your ally. May Our nations grow strong together!
The is a rumour that the advanced and prosperous nation of Portugal has been ruled by a "hippie". It can not be true - just as Abdelkars will says. As Abdelkar is my ancestor, he must surely have been a noble, wise and welldressed man - like all kings of the Robjoc dynasty.
You friend and ally,
Drizzt
The Portugese is the most loyal ally of the Spanish. We, Drizzt, king of Portugal, regards the Spanish king - may he rule forever! - as a most noble, wise and fair ruler. We are proud and happy to be Your ally. May Our nations grow strong together!
The is a rumour that the advanced and prosperous nation of Portugal has been ruled by a "hippie". It can not be true - just as Abdelkars will says. As Abdelkar is my ancestor, he must surely have been a noble, wise and welldressed man - like all kings of the Robjoc dynasty.
You friend and ally,
Drizzt
*This will, whitout any date, was found and made public by Portugals new king Drizzt.
Since Prince Harald is not yet of legal age to rule, according to Swedish laws, the power in Sweden will be taken by the Regency (queen Anna, duke Gustav of Skane and general Johan Tre Rosor). The Regency is to last 5 years, until prince Harald reaches the age of 25, when he will be able to legally claim the throne of his father.
However, the Regency will continue King Fnuco Vasa's policies in all areas, especially foreign military affairs. Recent offences brought to the crown will be avenged. The military campaign against the rebelious duchy of Copenhagen will continue and our friendhip with the mighty Czar is as strong as ever.
The Regency.
However, the Regency will continue King Fnuco Vasa's policies in all areas, especially foreign military affairs. Recent offences brought to the crown will be avenged. The military campaign against the rebelious duchy of Copenhagen will continue and our friendhip with the mighty Czar is as strong as ever.
The Regency.
Brandenburg (1528-48)
In this age Brandenburg seems still weak between strong military Nations like Sweden and Austria. Our Duke showed actions of valid capacities, even if there were bad events and domestic turmoils supported by foreign powers.
Our army revealed not enough strong to reject the swedish one into the Baltic Sea while the german alliance was reducing the ambitions about a land expansion of Netherlands. Our reformed neighbour acknowledged He has a free world to colonize and a challenge in trade with Portugal. The Duke simply asked provs in northern Germany as surviving breath in economy and in manpower (Oldenburg, Miunster, Mecklemburg).
We sincerely were pleased about polish annexion of Lithuania, because we need a strong neighbour at eastern borders to contrast attacks of an always greedy Russia. In the south Ottomans seem a sleeping bear, that already ate enough before the winter rest. French King showed acts in the game such as a referee, but He should know that in a football game the referee can't score goals.
Duke Wilhelio got an economy in bad conditions (DP sliders!) and is late in infra and in trade; we still have no fleet to explore and not enough money to build defensive fortifications. In God we trust, so ... God save Us!
Duchy of Brandenburg
Secretary of State
In this age Brandenburg seems still weak between strong military Nations like Sweden and Austria. Our Duke showed actions of valid capacities, even if there were bad events and domestic turmoils supported by foreign powers.
Our army revealed not enough strong to reject the swedish one into the Baltic Sea while the german alliance was reducing the ambitions about a land expansion of Netherlands. Our reformed neighbour acknowledged He has a free world to colonize and a challenge in trade with Portugal. The Duke simply asked provs in northern Germany as surviving breath in economy and in manpower (Oldenburg, Miunster, Mecklemburg).
We sincerely were pleased about polish annexion of Lithuania, because we need a strong neighbour at eastern borders to contrast attacks of an always greedy Russia. In the south Ottomans seem a sleeping bear, that already ate enough before the winter rest. French King showed acts in the game such as a referee, but He should know that in a football game the referee can't score goals.
Duke Wilhelio got an economy in bad conditions (DP sliders!) and is late in infra and in trade; we still have no fleet to explore and not enough money to build defensive fortifications. In God we trust, so ... God save Us!
Duchy of Brandenburg
Secretary of State
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Russian AAR:
We beat the bastards mwhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahah (pause) mwhahahahahahahahahahah
A more in depth AAR although it still boils down to the above statement.
Russia attacked Poland in order to attack their vassals Lithunia, who were beating up orthodox people in race-motivated attacks. So saying the Comrade gave the order and hundreds of thousands of Russians marched into Lithunia. The polish resistance was sporadic and 1 of the 5 armies was enough to deal with them, however as the fighting progresses the poles started fighing and annhilated to the last man of the Russian armies with a large continegent of cavarly, however a nearby army fell upon the victorious poles and sent them running like cowards. And so it continued with the Russians pouring forward and the enemy being slowly swept away.
Unfortunately the French King decided to take issue with this war, that or he was just bored, and helped Poland sending large numbers of French troops to bolster the flagging Poles. Lithunia was all but taken apart from 2 provinces held by French and Polish forces. The war progressed for 3 more years and many were the acts of bravery on the Russian side as an army under Crazy Ivan held off 4 attacks on the capital of Lithunia by Franco-Polish forces numbering 3 times his number. This truly was Crazy Ivan's war as the coalition armies fell to his ruthless disregard for his own mens safety.
It was an effective stalemate as Russia's seemingly limitless manpower and armies battled the techonlogically superior French with their flashy generals. Poland by this point was totally dependant on Foreign support for their country and the French to hold their battle lines, were it not for them the Poles would have crumpled like wet paper.
The comrade also suspected a leak in the war-office as information was leaked to Russias enemies, but perhaps this was just paranoia. Then austria made its play and joined the war against Russia on the side of righteousness and hope, the comrade saw that the chance to free all the Russian-Orthodox people of Lithunia at once had fled and he signed peace with Russia gaining two provinces and peace seemed to fall upon eastern europe.
However this was not to be as again Russia made an attack on its neighbour for the rest of Lithunia, Sweden and Russia against the combined might of Poland-Lithunia, Brandenburg, Austria and France and again the coalition withered and died on the steppes of the Ukraine as the Russian army advanced. In the Baltic the King of Sweden was faced with Brandenburg and the CRT advanced Austria and had no choice but to ask for peace for the province of Mecklemburg, and so the front shifted totally to Lithunia.
Again the French and later the Austrian armies were the only thing standing before victory and the spread of the proletariat revolution and again they fought the Russians to a stalemate as hundreds of thousands of peasants died for their aristocratic masters fighting their freed breathren. And again the comrade accepted Lithunias offer to liberate two more provinces from the clutches of catholism and serfdom, and welcomed to the workers paradise of Russia.
And as the comrade yet lives he will free his brothers and sisters of Europe and may all praise him as their liberator.
We beat the bastards mwhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahah (pause) mwhahahahahahahahahahah
A more in depth AAR although it still boils down to the above statement.
Russia attacked Poland in order to attack their vassals Lithunia, who were beating up orthodox people in race-motivated attacks. So saying the Comrade gave the order and hundreds of thousands of Russians marched into Lithunia. The polish resistance was sporadic and 1 of the 5 armies was enough to deal with them, however as the fighting progresses the poles started fighing and annhilated to the last man of the Russian armies with a large continegent of cavarly, however a nearby army fell upon the victorious poles and sent them running like cowards. And so it continued with the Russians pouring forward and the enemy being slowly swept away.
Unfortunately the French King decided to take issue with this war, that or he was just bored, and helped Poland sending large numbers of French troops to bolster the flagging Poles. Lithunia was all but taken apart from 2 provinces held by French and Polish forces. The war progressed for 3 more years and many were the acts of bravery on the Russian side as an army under Crazy Ivan held off 4 attacks on the capital of Lithunia by Franco-Polish forces numbering 3 times his number. This truly was Crazy Ivan's war as the coalition armies fell to his ruthless disregard for his own mens safety.
It was an effective stalemate as Russia's seemingly limitless manpower and armies battled the techonlogically superior French with their flashy generals. Poland by this point was totally dependant on Foreign support for their country and the French to hold their battle lines, were it not for them the Poles would have crumpled like wet paper.
The comrade also suspected a leak in the war-office as information was leaked to Russias enemies, but perhaps this was just paranoia. Then austria made its play and joined the war against Russia on the side of righteousness and hope, the comrade saw that the chance to free all the Russian-Orthodox people of Lithunia at once had fled and he signed peace with Russia gaining two provinces and peace seemed to fall upon eastern europe.
However this was not to be as again Russia made an attack on its neighbour for the rest of Lithunia, Sweden and Russia against the combined might of Poland-Lithunia, Brandenburg, Austria and France and again the coalition withered and died on the steppes of the Ukraine as the Russian army advanced. In the Baltic the King of Sweden was faced with Brandenburg and the CRT advanced Austria and had no choice but to ask for peace for the province of Mecklemburg, and so the front shifted totally to Lithunia.
Again the French and later the Austrian armies were the only thing standing before victory and the spread of the proletariat revolution and again they fought the Russians to a stalemate as hundreds of thousands of peasants died for their aristocratic masters fighting their freed breathren. And again the comrade accepted Lithunias offer to liberate two more provinces from the clutches of catholism and serfdom, and welcomed to the workers paradise of Russia.
And as the comrade yet lives he will free his brothers and sisters of Europe and may all praise him as their liberator.
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Elio Vasa said:
Meh, same elsewhere. You just need to fight now! (and have good diplo relations with you southern neighbours)
Btw, official England is suprised how Russia beat whole europe several times in a row. Kings of France, BB and Austria should provide substantial help to Poland or it will be erased before we blink.