• Crusader Kings III Available Now!

    The realm rejoices as Paradox Interactive announces the launch of Crusader Kings III, the latest entry in the publisher’s grand strategy role-playing game franchise. Advisors may now jockey for positions of influence and adversaries should save their schemes for another day, because on this day Crusader Kings III can be purchased on Steam, the Paradox Store, and other major online retailers.


    Real Strategy Requires Cunning

TurtleShroom

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-AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT!

This is hardly an AAR. It's a fan fiction piece (since this subforum sayss AAR and fan fiction) that I came up with when I was in the shower. I thought it was worth sharing. This is a song parody: you load up the YouTube link and follow the parody words (written below) with the melody.

If this gets positive feedback, I'll make more. If this gets negative feedback, I'm probably dumb enough to make more anyway.

Each song will come with its own old-timey sheet music cover for your enjoyment.

Now then. Let's begin!
[hr][/hr]

TURTLESHROOM PRODUCTIONS
PROUDLY PRESENTS

♫ KILL NATIVES WITH ME ♫
An "Europa Universalis IV" Musical Number

MELODY
{INSTRUMENTAL}

You know I always
I always seemed to look beyond
I always looked across the pond
Looking westward!
-and I know you look there too,
What's beyond our view?

I 'gotta have it!
Oh yes I do!

I'm sailing
I'm sailing and I'm testing fate
Not sure if this is worth the wait
Just the ocean
Is my ship simply dead weight
Junk on the ocean blue?

-but then I see it!
Oh baby, we are:

In the New World!
Here we come ashore!
Gold in the bushes!
The Crown is screaming for more!
Down the trails, men!
Lock and, load your guns, oh baby,
Kill natives with me!

I hear it calling
I'm back but it will not be long
I'm heading out away from home!
So I can conquest
-and I'll bring back wealth, for me
To get paid handsomely.

I'm on my way to,
Oh baby, we are:

In the New World!
Here we come ashore!
Gold in the bushes!
The Crown is screaming for more!
Down the trails, men!
Lock and, load your guns, oh baby,
Kill natives with me!

(Castille, pick up that rifle and, kill them please!)
{INSTRUMENTAL}

Oh baby, we are:

In the New World!
Here we come ashore!
Gold in them, bushes!
Crown screaming for MORE MORE MORE!
Down the trails, men!
Lock and, load your guns, oh baby,
Kill natives with me!
Yeah, oh baby
Kill natives with me!

Oh baby,
Kill natives with me!

{CLOSING INSTRUMENTAL/GUITAR SOLO}

(That's the way I like it baby!)

----------
About halfway through, I realized this song wasn't the best one for an EU4 fan fiction. Ah well, hopefully you got a laugh out of it.


Deus Vult,
-TURTLESHROOM
 
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King_Conor

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I too enjoy sending conquistadors to genocide and collect the wealth of the New World. Great lyrics to "Talk Dirty to Me."
 
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TurtleShroom

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Actually, in game, I hate killing the natives and, whenever possible, I try not to kill them (but there are times when I must, like when I am at war and need my armies or when I'm colonizing Africa). The same goes with culture-conversion; the idea of forcing people to change who they are bothers me (although I have no qualms converting their religion ;)).

That said, in my rage at Castille for taking back New South Georgia Island (DAT "GEORGIA ON MY MIND" ACHIEVEMENT), I culture converted their Falklands province to my culture so they would have to deal with my rebels. Normally, I culture-convert in a revenge move to punish someone who wronged me. I also culture-convert the first Irish province I conquer. Ireland is always my stepping stone to the New World.