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    Real Strategy Requires Cunning

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Eams

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Well, you could change the triggers so that the Conference still occurs. Neville would surely not let something as trivial as an all-out war in Southern and Eastern Europe stop him from setting up a conference for all to "have a lovely chat and work things out".
 

Murmurandus

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Alfred Packer said:
Balkan Custer Fluck

History goes out the window because of all the powers guarunteeing each other's independence, so you get WWII breaking out instantly, and wierdly

Oh, that! Well, who cares that the war starts early? You have the Land Navy on your side... :D :p

Anyway, I would just jump and see. Even if you lose after 10 days of war or so you can make a mighty story of it... ;)
 

Alfred Packer

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The Setting: A Boardroom in Praha. It is 1 February 1937

For several reasons, Edouard was both pleased and annoyed that Bluto, Antonin and Boris were not present. They were still trying to find a use for those Sail-Gliders Bluto had cooked up and casualties among the 1st Sail-Glider Assault Battalion were mounting at an almost preposterous rate, approaching 100% on most training missions and reaching as high as 212% during an unfortunate Urban Training Exercise.







“Well then, let us call this meeting to order. I know we are short-handed today, but there is a new face at the meeting and I’m sure we’re all eager to hear his perspective on the German Threat and also on the mythical Pocket-Axis. But, first, let us hear from the Foreign Minister. Kamil?”






Kamil started talking as he fumbled with his tri-fold. “Okay, so…







“Kamil! What have I told you about that damned hat!”







“Right. Sorry sir.” Kamil sheepishly pulled off his beret. It was his favorite hat and he wore it everywhere, so he had simply forgotten it was on.”






“Okay, since the Pocket-Axis threat is so great and we have decided to split them by destroying Hungary, I decided to focus on their diplomacy for this meeting.”

“As you can see, the other Pocket-Axis member, Austria, has guaranteed Hungary. No surprise. What is a surprise is that Poland hasn’t. Probably because they don’t want to alert the world to their evil intentions too early.”

“Interestingly, Italy has guaranteed their independence. However, I think we all know what a cowardly dolt that Mussolini fellow is…






“He’d fit in great around here.” Edouard muttered while glaring around the table. He would have quit coming to the meetings but for two things: they were his idea and, should a meeting happen he wasn’t around to supervise, well, there is no telling what trouble the others would cause.







Kamil decided Edouard was still mad about the hat and so chose to ignore his comment. “so I doubt there will be any intervention.”

Kamil sat down happily.







“Thank you Kamil! I don’t know about the rest of you, but that presentation sure made me hungary!” Milan winked knowingly at his fellow November Conspirators. Ludvik rolled his eyes. “Right fellows? Any of you getting hungary?”

Heinrich glared at Milan until he stopped talking.

Edouard thought to himself. “Finally, something the spy and I agree on.”











“Are you finished Milan? Because there are bagels in the other room.”







“No no, I’m fine. Really. Just an observation, that’s all.” Milan poorly suppressed a giggle.








Well then, why not introduce us to this fellow you’ve earmarked to head the War Department in place of dear Machnik.

The lean and hard man rose from his seat and waved to the room







"Do not trouble yourself, Milan. Like my dear associate Heinrich, I am Slovakian by birth and culture. My name is General Ferdinand Catlos and I look forward to working closely with all of you to end forever this Pocket-Axis threat."







"Ahem. You mean the German threat, of course."






"If you say so Edouard." Catlos laughed a booming and cold laugh, which sent shivers down Edouard's spine. "If you say so."
 

Alfred Packer

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The 3rd Quarter ACAs Are Here! Vote Early And Often!

Go on over and vote for your favorite writAARs and their Stories. It makes them feel really good to know you appreciate their work.

And make sure to check out some new AARs, there are some great ones up for awards this quarter from some fantastic new authors.


Finally, I never do this, but I noticed that someone had voted for all three of my eligable AARs and that got me to thinking: (1) How do I have 3 eligable AARs? And (2) Even though I can, off the top of my head, think of AARs that are funnier, wittier and far more clever than mine in every catagory, wouldn't it be cool if my otherwise undeserving AARs could win an award in three different games in 1 awards cycle?

The correct answer to that is "Yes, Packer, it would be totally cool and so I shall now pop over to the ACAs and vote for you and you alone."

An acceptable alternative answer: "Screw you Packer. How dare you pimp your cruddy AARs. I shall now go out and hunt down those AARs that are better than yours, read them, and then vote for them just to make sure you lose!"

Another really acceptable option: "Meh. I like (insert name here. Probably robw963)'s AAR better, so I won't vote for yours, but hey it's pretty good so I'll keep reading it"

Either way, here are the three AARs of mine which qualify for voting this cycle:

Kamil Krofta Guesses Wrong, an HOI2 AAR
This is great fun. It follows the wacky mis-adventures of the Czechoslovakian cabinet as they attempt to thwart both Hitler's Germany and the Pocket-Axis. Plus, it features the comedy stylings of beloved radio icon "Fibber McGee!" What more could you want?

How about Daring Conquest, The Return of Christ, Patricide, Regicide, Cannibalism and Boar-Hunting? The Adventures of the Crovan Clan a CK AAR concluded in Q3, wrapping up 400 years of violence, mayhem, murder and confusion in preperation for:

The Adventures of the Crovan Clan 2, an EUIII:IN AAR, which also started this cycle and follows the Clan into the Rennaisance. Featuring Geoffrey Chaucer, A Bohemian with a Speech Impediment, Bevan Woodhouse, and a head on collision​
 

Kanil

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omg! Cookies!

I like robw963's AAR better, but if you give me a cookie, I'll vote for this instead!
 

unmerged(112641)

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Kanil said:
omg! Cookies!

I like robw963's AAR better, but if you give me a cookie, I'll vote for this instead!
Hell, I don't think I'm allowed to give out cookies, so have a lemon one:

And don't ask me how I stuffed lemons into a cookie.
 

robw963

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cookie? wow! for a cookie I'd vote for this AAR too!

In all honesty, I think this AAR is hilarious. Whatever you're smoking over there, Alfred Packer, I want some too!
 
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I'm feeling a bit hungary right now too :p . Poor Milan, cheating wife, opressive dress codes and not even his jokes are working for him right now.
 

Murmurandus

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Hey that Catlos chap seems a lovely guy... for a Pseudo Slowakian German that is... :D
 

Gaarq

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*subscribed*

ps. i live on kamil krofta street in czechlands ;)
 

safferli

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Meh. ;) Not even kookies will get me to vote, as there is Habsburga la Vista, which is even funnier than this hilarious aar (how is this possible? I don't know, but read it, it's that good!) So, you'll only get two out of my three votes. I ain't afraid of no threats. Or of Somebody-Crovan. Or his Mr. Back-Hand. I probably am afraid of Denise, come to think of it.

But I'll still read this and relish every update! :)
 

Alfred Packer

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safferli said:
Meh. ;) Not even kookies will get me to vote, as there is Habsburga la Vista, which is even funnier than this hilarious aar (how is this possible? I don't know, but read it, it's that good!) So, you'll only get two out of my three votes. I ain't afraid of no threats. Or of Somebody-Crovan. Or his Mr. Back-Hand. I probably am afraid of Denise, come to think of it.

But I'll still read this and relish every update! :)

:) It's my own fault for presenting "I like such and such's better anyway" as a valid choice!

Seriously, though, safferli is right. Habsburg la Vista is a great read, you should all check it out if you haven't yet.

edit: oh! update and reader feedback coming tomorrow!
 

unmerged(24320)

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Alfred Packer: ..."Ahem. You mean the German threat, of course."

awesome ! ! :D

Alfred Packer:
...update and reader feedback coming tomorrow!

which tomorrow ? ? ;)

excellent updates ! !
:cool:
 

Alfred Packer

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GhostWriter said:
Alfred Packer: ..."Ahem. You mean the German threat, of course."

awesome ! ! :D

Alfred Packer:
...update and reader feedback coming tomorrow!

which tomorrow ? ? ;)

excellent updates ! !
:cool:

:p you know what they say about tomorrow...it's always a day away

(in truth, I sat down to write an update and just couldn't get anything good going...so I played instead)
 

unmerged(24320)

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Jan 5, 2004
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Alfred Packer: ...so I played instead

always a good decision ! ! :cool:
 
Aug 3, 2008
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Ok Packer, so you've lured me over to the HoI forum, which I have avoided up until now.

I have to say, you're once again brilliant. Czechstapo was of course a special winner, as is the entire Heinrich Homola. :rofl:

I don't know wether this was intentional or not, but the update in which Heinrich discusses away the German threat and creates the Pocket Axis instead was a truly wonderful parody of Germany's hair-raising appeasement policies prior to WW II. That the US and the European nations fell for them places them on one level with the Czechoslovakian cabinet, btw.