• Crusader Kings III Available Now!

    The realm rejoices as Paradox Interactive announces the launch of Crusader Kings III, the latest entry in the publisher’s grand strategy role-playing game franchise. Advisors may now jockey for positions of influence and adversaries should save their schemes for another day, because on this day Crusader Kings III can be purchased on Steam, the Paradox Store, and other major online retailers.


    Real Strategy Requires Cunning

Alfred Packer

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The Setting: A Boardroom in Praha. It is 1 January 1936



Sitting around the table, several men are talking excitedly amongst themselves.



Most of their conversation is unfit for mixed company.



Suddenly, the doors slam open and in strides a very agitated man.


All eyes are upon him as he walks to the vacant seat at the head of the table.



Well, almost all eyes.



Boris Trumper is sound asleep.



The man clears his throat.



MH-Main.jpg



“Why President Benes! So why did you want to meet with us?”


EB-Main.jpg



“Gentlemen, our beloved nation, Czechoslovakia, is in danger and we must act fast if we want to save her. Yesterday, I was at the book store, and I saw this!”


Edouard flourished the book with a flourish.


MKII.jpg



He did not get the reaction he expected.


MH-Skeptical.jpg




“Now, now Edouard, surely you did not call us all here to start a book club. We are all very busy men”


EB-Stare.jpg









“Did you look at the title?”


MH-Skeptical.jpg



“Well sure, but seriously? That guy’s a total bigot Edourd. I really had you pegged as a reader of much classier fare. Jane Austin at the very least.”


EB-Main.jpg



“I. I didn’t buy it to read it Milan. I bought it because the title says he is going to attack and destroy us. Look at the damn book man, he just abrogated the Treaty of Versailles.”


AHandBT.jpg



Giggling, Antonin turned to Boris “abrogated them? Is that even legal?”


“Not if there was a sheep involved!”


The two collapsed in laughter.


This was not going as planned.




 

Kurt_Steiner

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Mad! The World has gone Mad!

Fine for me... :D
 

4th Dimension

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Erm... Okay :D

If you continue using pictures, might you resize them so they are of the same size. At least the ones representing people. Or the big Benes's picture represents his huge ego? (that means when you display Mousolinis, I doubit I will be able to fit his whole nostril into the screen, let alone his head.)
 

Alfred Packer

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Treppe: Or Golden Victory!

Kurt_Steiner: Ha! I hope you continue to enjoy it. This is a bit of a departure for me and I have high hopes.

4th Dimension: I will resize them eventually, if this is well recieved and seems to be worth the extra work. I'd hate to spend a bunch of time...no wait. I'm just lazy. I will resize later.

edit: turns out I am not as lazy as I intended to be...resized for your pleasure!
 
Last edited:

Alfred Packer

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The Setting: A Boardroom in Praha. It is still 1 January 1936


After a great deal of effort, Edouard Benes has managed to convince the others that he is:
1 – not starting a book club

2 – not selling anything

3 – not sexually interested in ungulates

4 – quite serious about the threat facing Czechoslovakia



EB-Main.jpg




“Well, then gentlemen, while I know most of you by name, I think we should start with some introductions and then a basic and frank assessment of your departments and their needs.”

“To begin, and to provide a model for some of you, I am Edouard Benes, the President of Czechoslovakia and your boss. Sort of. I will be coordinating these emergency meetings, which will occur every month until this crisis has passed.”

Edouard looked to his right, where Milan was sitting.



MH-Main.jpg



“Yes?”



EB-Stare.jpg



“It’s your turn.”


MH-Skeptical.jpg



“Is it now! Well then. What are we doing again?”


EB-Stare.jpg



Sighing, “Milan. Introduce yourself and express your concerns.”


MH-Main.jpg



“Ah. Got it. I am Milan Hodza, Primer Minister of Czechoslovakia, the country we live in, and I am concerned because my schnauzer has been passing bloody stool lately.”


EB-Stare.jpg




“You know what….no…nevermind.”

Edouard pointed to the man seated next to Milan. “Your turn.”



KK-Main.jpg



“Kamil Krofta, Foreign Minister. I think we need allies to help deter the Germans and I think I know where to look for them.”


EB-Listen.jpg



“Okay, good. Everyone else, just kind of do what Kamil just did.”

 

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The Setting: A Boardroom in Praha. It is still 1 January 1936


Kamil Krofta, having made a degree of sense, was sitting in his chair, quite pleased with himself, while the Armaments Minister rose to speak.


EF-Only.jpg



“I am Emil Franke, Minister of Armaments. I am tasked with developing new technologies, raising the soldiers to use these technologies, and spending money. Of which we never have enough.”

He opened his briefcase and set up a small tri-fold display showing production plans and spending allocation for the next year.

*cough* “suck-up” *cough*. Kamil was clearly jealous he had not thought of a tri-fold.

Emil shot him a smug grin.

1936-01-01Arm.jpg



“As you can see, having received a preview copy of Mr. Hitler’s new book from the publisher, I was already well aware of his evil designs. Consequently, I have already begun to bulk up our field forces. We have also begun working on new technologies, which I am certain the Air-Force commander is going to be excited to learn about.”

“Allow me to introduce the Chief Technologist from Praha University, tasked with Research and Development. Mr. Bluto Blutarsky is in the third year of his Engineering program and is an excellent and inexpensive addition to my department. Bluto.”


UniversityTech.jpg



Bluto staggered to his feet, his blood-shot eyes rolling backwards in his head. “Hey chief. I’m totally working on a special project for the Navy and the Air-Force that will rock balls when I’m done.”


EB-Stare.jpg



“Wait. Bluto, when will you finish your doctorate? And what is your focus?”


UniversityTech.jpg



Bluto drank deeply from a flask before regarding Edouard with squinting suspicion. He opened his mouth to speak, belched and sat down heavily.


EB-Stare.jpg



“Emil, what is the deal here? While I appreciate your plans to cut costs, I have looked over your budget. I don’t see where the R&D money is going if this fellow is…”


EF-Only.jpg



“Don’t worry chief. Bluto is something of an eccentric genius…aren’t you Bluto?” Emil shot the Technology Chief a glare. “And I promise he will have his undergraduate degree within the year.”


Edouard stared open mouthed at Emil and Bluto. He considered saying more, but there was still the rogue’s gallery from the Department of War to face and he really just wanted this meeting to end.
 

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Treppe said:
What do you mean with schauzer? A) A dog B) A mustache

And will Bluto ever invent anything usefull apart from wine with even more alcohol?

Questions about questions...

i think it´s supposed to be a dog... :D

and what kind of special project for the navy is Bluto working? And why the navy? i don´t see a direct connection to a sea? :confused:
 

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This is absolutely outstanding so far. I love the style, with the pics. :rofl: :rofl:
 

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Erm... euh... interesting...

...

...

I think... ;) :D
 

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Treppe: definately the dog. Though the mustache is a good idea.

Inner-Circle: All things will be made clear...just not today

likk9922: glad you like it so far!

Murmurandus: :) Glad you might like it!

TheEnlighted1: Well, hopefully it doesn't disappoint too soon!
 

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The Setting: A Boardroom in Praha. It is still 1 January 1936


While Edouard tried to push the Armaments Minister’s report to the back of his mind, Milan excused himself from the proceedings. Fluffikins von Stubbing, his beloved German Schnauzer, had an appointment at the veterinarian.


Secretly relieved, Edouard allowed him to go, reminding him the next meeting would be in one month.


One piece of madness out of the way, he turned warily to Frantisek Machnik, the Chief of Staff for the Ministry of War and eying the minister’s associates with dread.



EB-Main.jpg




“Well Mr. Machnik, please update me on your Department, and introduce your associates.”



FM-Main.jpg




“Right. Well, the Ministry is split into four parts. Sub-Ministry of the Army, Sub-Ministry of the Air Force, Sub-Ministry of Intelligence,” Frantisek sighed, lowered his eyes and mumbled.



EB-Listen.jpg




“I’m sorry, what was that last one?”



FM-Main.jpg




Coughing, Frantisek mumbled louder. “Sub-Ministry of the Navy.”



EB-Stare.jpg











“Sub-Minister of the Navy?”



FM-Main.jpg




Sullenly, Frantisek answered. “Wasn’t my idea. The guy is Milan’s brother-in-law and I am supposed to give him something worthy of his talents.” This last was said with sarcasm.



EB-Stare.jpg








FM-Main.jpg




“Um. Anyway. We have requested additional Infantry units, as Emil showed you. We are holding off on equipment upgrades and heavy equipment orders until the latest advanced equipment is available. But I will let my associates explain as needed.”


Frantisek opened a tri-fold and placed it on the table, “this is the breakdown by military branch."



1936-01-01Mil1.jpg




"Obviously, at the moment, the Army commands all our resources, but hopefully…”



KK-Main.jpg




Kamil jumped to his feet, his tiny fists balled and shaking in fury, “what the Hell,” he yelled, “was there some sort of tri-fold memo I didn’t get?”


Kamil stormed out of the conference, “I need some fresh air.”


In the awkward silence following his departure, everyone could hear him muttering in the hallway about the “show-off sons of bitches and their tri-folds.”



Edouard pretended not to notice Emil and Fantisek surreptitiously giving each other high-fives.
 

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The Setting: A Boardroom in Praha. It is still 1 January 1936


By the time Fantisek finished pouring over the tri-fold, which it should be noted, was pretty self-explanatory, Kamil had returned to the boardroom, still visibly agitated, but back under control.


Since they commanded the entire military budget, Machnik quickly handed the presentation over to Field Marshal Ludvik Krejci, Chief of Staff for the Army, to explain their plans.



LK-Main.jpg




The Field Marshal set up another tri-fold, the whole time watching Kamil for a reaction. The Foreign Minister’s face grew red, but it became clear there would be no more theatrics. “As you can see, the Army consists of 25 divisions, 20 of them are Infantry, 1 is Mountain and the remaining 4 are Armoured Divisions."



1936-01-01Mil2.jpg




"With the additional 3 Infantry Divisions, along with the 16 Militia Divisions which are currently being assembled and trained, there will be a solid cordon, the deployments I will get into once the troops are actually in the field. Now, we will have a mobile reserve effective immediately. Combined with 2 of the Infantry Units, which are partially motorized with Armoured Cars, the Tank Divisions constitute the First,” and here he sighed heavily, “well, let’s just call it our Tank Army.”



Sy-Pirate.jpg




The man next to him coughed loudly. “I’m sorry Field Marshal Sir, I don’t think the President heard ye correctly, AAARRRRR.”


The highly decorated soldier leapt to his feet. “What the Marshal meant, beggin yer pardon sir, was Admiral Syrovy, Commander o’ the First Landship AAARRRRmy is reportan for duty sir.”



EB-Stare.jpg








“The First Landship Army?



Sy-Pirate.jpg




“Aye sir. We be ready ta sail our Landships into battle when’ere ye need us, so long as the rum runs free and the lasses run slow.”



EB-Stare.jpg












“You know what? Let’s not meet every month. Let’s meet every three months for now. The next one is March 1st. Be sure to mark your calendars.”



EB-Main.jpg




“Ludvik, please enlighten me about…well…this.” Edouard gestured dismissively to the Pirate-General.



LK-Main.jpg




Ludvik’s face was bright red. Whatever good will his colorful tri-fold had built up was no match for Admiral-General Syrovy. “Please excuse him sir. He suffered a head trauma falling from his horse last year, but I assure you, whatever got scrambled up there, it wasn’t his tactical brilliance. A better Tank Leader…”



Sy-Pirate.jpg




*A-Hem*



LK-Main.jpg




*sigh* “A Better Land-Ship leader you will not find.”



Edouard stared at the two for a moment, silently, before turning back to the Chief of Staff. “Okay, Machnick, what else have you got?”
 

Faeelin

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Alfred Packer said:
Coughing, Frantisek mumbled louder. “Sub-Ministry of the Navy.”

:rofl:

I never realized how absurd this was before.
 
Last edited:

unmerged(83622)

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...you just involved Bluto Blutarsky. In an AAR in the era of the Second World War.

I think you'll have to endure my readership for a while longer. ;)
 

Konig15

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Holy shit, I can't stop laughing. You put Bluto frikin Blutarsky in a HOI2 AAR? You are an evil, evil, twistedly brillant man Paker!
 

likk9922

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Very, very funny. :rofl: :rofl: :wacko: :D