Just Another Papal States AAR

[Jonny]

Chapter I: Beginnings of a Dream

It was January of 1492. The Pope was bored. He told his military adviser that he wanted to unite Italy. His military advisor went to round up some soldiers.

Jan 1492: Troops gather in Rome, more soldiers are being trained.

Mar 1492: New soldiers trained and sent to Rome.

The Pope thinks: if we want to be a major power, we should be nice to the other powers.

Jun 1492: RM with Spain

Jul 1492: RM with Milan

By this time, we have a 23000/1000/0 army in Rome.

Oct 1492: RM with England

Dec 1492: RM with Parma

We now have a 25000/3000/0 army in Rome

Jan 1493: Income - 20d

Pope says: We're ready. Go conquer.

Feb 1493: DECLARE WAR on Naples. This causes a giant European War.

Spain, England, Lorraine, Naples VS. France, Savoy, and us.

Mar 1493: Begin beseigeing Naples

Jan 1494: Income-19d, build more soldiers in Rome, Capture Naples.

Pope: Yay! We captured something!

Feb 1494: Besiege Apulia

Jan 1495: Income-24d, bulid more soldiers in Rome.

Apr 1495: New recruits from Rome help the siege.

Aug 1495: We Capture Apulia, ANNEX NAPLES.

Pope: We conquered Naples. Now, we have to deal with Spain.

To Be Continued.

 

[unmerged(3122)]

nice AAR, please continue

 

[unmerged(3523)]

I like it. Short, to the point, with a humourous leader thrown in at boring points... it's like I played it, wrote it down, and then I'm rereading it trying to remember how exactly everything went... Wait, I'm just crazy. I've never even been the Papal States! I don't even know who the Papal States are! What am I doing here?

 

[unmerged(4076)]

Originally posted by Jythier
I like it. Short, to the point, with a humourous leader thrown in at boring points... it's like I played it, wrote it down, and then I'm rereading it trying to remember how exactly everything went... Wait, I'm just crazy. I've never even been the Papal States! I don't even know who the Papal States are! What am I doing here?

LOL

A bit confused are we?

And good AAR Jonny, keep it up.

Tokarev

 

[Jonny]

Chapter II: Go South, Young Warrior

The Pope, recently pleased with his sucesses in Naples, decides to go conquer more.

Pope: ADVISOR! Get in here!
Advisor: (panting) Yes, Pope?
Pope: We are still at war with Spain, correct?
Advisor: Yes.
Pope: Spain owns Sicily, right?
Advisor: Yes.
Pope: Go conquer Sicily for me.
Advisor: Yes, Pope.
Pope: Call me Grand Emperor.
Advisor: Yes, Po... I mean... Grand Emperor.

Jan 1496: Income-43d
Mar 1496: Revolts in Apulia. They are quickly ended.
Jun 1496: Revlots in Apulia. They are quickly ended.
Oct 1496: Soldiers arrive in Messina and begin besiegeing it.
Jan 1497: Income-45d
May 1497: 5000 more soldiers arrive in Messina.
Aug 1497: Capture Messina.

Pope: Advisor, good job. Now, go conquer the other half of Sicily.
Advisor: Yes, Grand Emperor.

Aug 1497: Arrive in Sicily. Begin Siege.
Jan 1498: Income-44d
Feb 1498: 5000 more soldiers being built in Naples.
May 1498: Captured Sicily. Demand Messina and Sicily from Spain, they decline.

Advisor: They won't accept the peace treaty.
Pope: Go invade Spain.
Advisor: Yes.

Jun 1498: Win naval battle against Spain. Ships set sail with 5k on board.
Dec 1498: Ships arrive in Spain, soldiers unload into Muricia. Capture Murcia, demand Messina and Sicily, won't accept.
Jan 1499: Income-44d
Feb 1499: Capture Estramaduras. Demand Sicily and Messina. ACCEPTED.

Pope: We have secured our southern borders. Now, to go north.

To Be Continued.

 

[Jonny]

Another segment will be posted tomorrow, when I have the time.

 

[Jonny]

Chapter III: Milan, Here We Come

A new Pope has come because the old one was sent to the mental hospital.

Advisor: Now that our southern borderd our protected, we should attack north. I suggest Milan.
Pope: Wherz milan?
Advisor: Northwest of Emilia.
Pope: Letz attack Turkey instead.
Advisor: Turkey is very large and we can't reach them.
Pope: Letz attack Sicily.
Advisor: Sicily is OURS, silly!
Pope: I'm going for a walk.
Advisor: Thank goodness.

Jun 1499: White peace between us and Lorraine.
Jul 1499: We break our Royal Marriage with Milan. We send our army to Emilia.
Sep 1499: Our 5k army form Spain comes home. Ships shoot confetti at them in congratulations. (That was the Pope's idea.)
Jan 1500: income-45d. Comission 2000/0/10 army in Emilia.
Mar 1500: Revolt in Sicily; send army there.
Jun 1500: Revolt in Sicily ended.
Sep 1500: Revolt in Apulia.
Jan 1501: income-47d.
Several attempts throughout the year to end the revolts fail.

Advisor: Grand Emperor, rebels are besiegeing Apulia.
Pope: GO REBELS! GO REBELS!
Advisor: Never mind.

Jan 1502: income-55d
Mar 1502: Declare War on Milan. Us, Savoy, and Helvetia are fighting against Milan, Austria, Bavaria, and Hungary.
Apr 1502: begin besiegeing Milan.
Oct 1502: Capture Milan - They won't be annexed.

Advisor: Grand Emperor, Milan refuses to be annexed.
Pope: GO MILAN! GO REBELS!
Advisor: AARGH!

Jan 1503: income-46d
Jul 1503: Milan is Annexed.

Advisor: (says to himself) We finally defeated them.

Dec 1503: Finally beat rebels in Apulia.
Jan 1504: income-70d
May 1504: Messina Revolts.
Jul 1504: Revolts Ended.
Aug 1504: Enthusiasm for Army.

Hungary annexes our allies, helvetia! Our army goes to the rescue.

Dec 1504: Besiege Helvetia. Revolts in Sicily.
Jan 1505: income-70d.

Venice DECLARES WAR on us!!!

Advisor: Venice has declared war on us.
Pope: GO VENICE!
Advisor: I have the feeling you are not the real Pope.
Pope: I'm NOT! The real pope is Julius II, and he is leading our army in Helvetia.
Advisor: Really. Who are you?
Pope: I was some dude living on the streets of Rome. He picked me up and made me be a puppet ruler. Advisor, I'm scared of Venice. I WANT MY MOMMY!
Advisor: You can have your mommy.
Pope: Waahhhhhhhh!
Advisor: Ciao!

To Be Continued

 

[Rex Francorum]

Could you tell me the difficulty level. Did you use a leader editor to have good generals?

 

[Jonny]

The difficulty level is easy, but not very easy. I did not use a leader editor, but I did get a monarch (Julius II).

 

[Sharur]

Ah, an interesting combination, successful stupidity... I must have more! Update this aar immediately!

 

[Jonny]

Chapter IV: Fighting the Venetian Menace

Venice, Hanseatic League, Portugal, Teutonic Order, and Brandenburg had just declared war on us and the puppet Pope had run away to his mommy. At least Savoy is on our side in the war!

Advisor: Since that fake Pope is gone, I'll just be the leader of this here nation. Maybe I should get a new advisor. (knocking on door) Come in!
Saxon General: I'm here to be the new advisor.
Advisor: Any experience?
Saxon General: I worked for King Splangy.
Advisor: I see. Anything else to say?
Saxon General: PaNtS ArE FuN!!
Advisor: Ummm... I'll rule without an advisor. Leave now.

Feb 1505: Venice begins to besiege Milan. Our alliance pulls us into a war with Courland.
Mar 1505: Peace with Hungary - get 130d. Build new armies. Revolts in Sicily are ended.
Dec 1505: Savoy captures Manatua from Venice.
Jan 1506: income-55d. Lose Milan to Venice.

Advisor: AARGH! We're losing.

Feb 1506: Savoy begins siege of Venice
Mar 1506: Venice begins siege of Manatua.
Apr 1506: We begin siege of Milan.
Sep 1506: Venice reclaims Manatua.
Oct 1506: We reclaim Milan.
Dec 1506: We begin siege of Manatua.
Jan 1507: income-58d
Mar 1507: Trade Embargo w/ all other nations for 58 months.
Jun 1507: Messina Revolts
Jul 1507: Capture Mantua

Advisor: Now we're winning!

Aug 1507: Begin seige of Venice
Jan 1508: income-74d
Mar 1508: White Peace with Courland. Milan Revolts.
Jul 1508: Capture Venice.
Sep 1508: Begin siege of Istria. Rebels ended in Manatua.
Nov 1508: Rebels capture Milan. Peace with Venice, take Mantua and some $'s.

Advisor: I hope the real Pope is okay after all that fighting.

Jan 1509: income-70d.
Mar 1509: Defeat Rebel Armies in Milan. Begin siegeing Milan.
Jul 1509: Naples Revolts. Recapture Milan.
Oct 1509: Apulia Revolts.

Advisor: Hmmm. All these rebels.

Nov 1509: Naples Rebels defeated.
Jan 1510: Income-75d. Apulia Revolts Ended.
Jun 1510: More soldiers join army.

To Be Continued.

 

[Sharur]

Amazing, 3 minutes after I demand an update he posts one! If only there was as quick of a response time on every aar...

 

[unmerged(3122)]

Originally posted by Jonny
Chapter IV: Fighting the Venetian Menace

Advisor: Since that fake Pope is gone, I'll just be the leader of this here nation. Maybe I should get a new advisor. (knocking on door) Come in!
Saxon General: I'm here to be the new advisor.
Advisor: Any experience?
Saxon General: I worked for King Splangy.
Advisor: I see. Anything else to say?
Saxon General: PaNtS ArE FuN!!
Advisor: Ummm... I'll rule without an advisor. Leave now.

LOL!! Well It seems I executed the wrong general in my AAR, oohhh well *WARNING:SHAMELESS PLUG for my AAR!* Its named "Extreemly short AAR's presents: Saxony, a lesson in stupidity.", go there to see more of my generals antics.

 

[Jonny]

Chapter V: A War with Too Many Fronts!

Pope Julius II, out leading his army, is complaining to his advisor/puppet ruler that he wants another war.

Advisor: You want me to do WHAT?
Pope: You heard me, declare war on Genoa.
Advisor: Okey Dokey, Grand Emperor.
Pope: Also, why did you not hire the Saxon dude to be your advisor?
Advisor: He's a Moronic Idiot, sire.
Pope: But he loved pants, just as I do.
Advisor: Excuse me, I need to write a letter to Genoa.

Aug 1510: Declare War on Genoa. The Knights join them. We don't ask our allies to join. We send our army towards Genoa.
Nov 1510: Milan Revolts. It is ended quickly, but delays our army.
Also in Nov 1510: Austria, Hungary, Bavaria, and Wurtemburg Declare War on US! Our allies of France and Savoy join us.
Jan 1511: Income-75d. Romagna is besieged by Knights.

Pope: How did the Knights get here?
Advisor: They must of built a navy.
Pope: Why did Austria & Friends declare war on us?
Advisor: We must be becoming a Bad Boy.

Mar 1511: Austria besieges Milan.
May 1511: Knights capture Romagna!
Jun 1511: Messina Revolts. The Knights besiege Rome.
Jul 1511: We stop the knights from besiegeing Rome. Their army is destroyed.
Aug 1511: Austria Takes Milan. We Besiege Romagna.
Sep 1511: Emilia Besieged by Bavaria.
Oct 1511: Mantua Revolts.
Nov 1511: Recapture Romagna
Dec 1511: Stop the besiegeing of Emilia by Bavaria.
Jan 1512: Income-30d.
Feb 1512: The Mantua Revolts end.
Mar 1512: Sicily Revolts. We besiege Milan. Mantua is being besieged by Austria.

Will we stop the Austrians & Friends?
Will we conquer Genoa? Or The Knights?

You must find out next time. I probably won't be able to post for 4 or 5 days because I am going on a trip. You'll have to wait a while to see what happens next. Any ideas you give me while I am gone would be aprecciated.

 

[Sharur]

My prediction: you're in for a serious beating

 

[unmerged(5165)]

Jonny- this one is cool stuff!
But, please hire the saxon general. I think you need Obi-wan-saxony, he is your only hope.

 

[unmerged(2540)]

Originally posted by Improfane
Jonny- this one is cool stuff!
But, please hire the saxon general. I think you need Obi-wan-saxony, he is your only hope.

You want some help? I got a guy here, named Jambalaya who will use his mystical secrets of the Gumbo to help your armies

Or, of course, you could get Yabba the Slim to use the "Stuff" on your enemies

(Check my Ethiopia AAR, you'll see what i mean)

 

[unmerged(5165)]

Heh, honour shogun, I have read your AAR, naturally... Hey, wait a second....

 

[unmerged(5205)]

Great AAR.Cant wait for the next one to be posted.The only thing bad about being the Papal States is that you have to annex quickly in order to expand and that messes up your BB rating but they're still a really cool country to play





-justin

 

[unmerged(4029)]

very good...
in the beginning, it was a bit too short but now there are funny dialogs... maybe there should be a pope again, yeah, i liked that one...
and can you get a map? I can't follow all conquests you have done it I don't see it.
anyway, real good aar, keep up the good work