Jilted bride? AI changes matriarchal betrothe to regular??

[Dearmad]

SO I had a matriarchal marriage set up. I wait for the male to come of age for my daughter- he does- the pop-up occurs saying he sugegsts they get married. I agree- and it is now a regular marriage not the matriarchal one I set up. This has not happened before.

Ok so I tricked the future ERE emperor into it, but still, an agreement is an agreement. But seriously this has only happende in my game with this particular marriage. Anything going on here? WAD?

 

[the kookaburra]

Yes happened to me many times.
You really have to read those popups when you know you have a matriarchal wedding soon.

 

[cyrileom]

In some cases, the AI just wants to take advantage of your laziness, and if you actually go to the marriage screen, you will actually be able to send a matrilineal marriage. In other cases, the AI is telling you to screw off or not get the matrilinear part.

 

[Dearmad]

So there's no way around it then, since I can either "accept" or "decline" and accept means regular. I'm not sure I understand the use of the "marriage screen?" I can force it through through there?

 

[DunkFunk]

You probably organised the betrothal when the future emperor was further down the succession change and now that he is set to inherit they want to continue with the same house. The AI will NEVER accept a matrilineal marriage for male heirs.

 

[generalolaf]

So there's no way around it then, since I can either "accept" or "decline" and accept means regular. I'm not sure I understand the use of the "marriage screen?" I can force it through through there?

Leave the offer on the screen and then go and offer it matrilineally yourself. When the AI responds, their original (patrilineal) marriage offer disappears.

 

[Dearmad]

I wonder if that would have worked... damn

I have another plan. WHich should work in about 4 years time. We will see...

No I just tested it- there is no way to make the offer work as originally agreed upon -the emperor now simply will not do it. Bad form that HIS offer doesn't state he's changed it to be normal marriage though. Oh well. I'll pull her out of it, I have better plans for her.

 

[Haresus]

If you decline, you can still send your own offer later on. The betrothal is not broken just because you refuse the marriage, oddly enough.

 

[Effixel]

Also sometimes (actually, often), the AI accepts a matrilinear betrothal, but refuses the matrilinear marriage once the kids are of age. Happened to me several times when I wanted to expand my dynasty through women, engaging them to fine Dukes or kings, and eventually ending up marrying then to random courtiers or barons as the duke didn't want to marry matrilinealy (rejected his regular marriage offer and tried through the diplomacy screen).

 

[Panzerschiffe]

This happens with EVERY matrilineal betrothal I've made. You get the popup, you accept, then you realize you've been had! Now I know better. Instead of clicking on the popup, you need to click on the icon that goes to the character screens where you can check the "matrilineal marriage" box. It's stupid that the AI just doesn't send you the popup with the original deal, instead, it tries to screw you over or somehow forgets the deal.

 

[Talq]

In my experience, whenever a betrothal is set up that the AI would prefer matrilinear/non-matrilinear, it will almost always fire off an offer to do it the way it prefers when they are of age.

Ignore the offer, and do it through the 'betrothed can marry' advisory.

 

[Dearmad]

In my experience, whenever a betrothal is set up that the AI would prefer matrilinear/non-matrilinear, it will almost always fire off an offer to do it the way it prefers when they are of age.

Ignore the offer, and do it through the 'betrothed can marry' advisory.

THis doesn't work always- the accept will be grayed out as the AI no longer will accept matrilineal through that offer either. And then it sends you an offer- which is secretly for patrilineal.

 

[generalolaf]

It's not secret; if it doesn't say it's matrilineal, it's patrilineal.

EDIT: if they won't accept through your offer, leave it or break the betrothal. The value of the person has changed (in line for inheritance or on the council).

 

[Prince Michael]

Also sometimes (actually, often), the AI accepts a matrilinear betrothal, but refuses the matrilinear marriage once the kids are of age. Happened to me several times when I wanted to expand my dynasty through women, engaging them to fine Dukes or kings, and eventually ending up marrying then to random courtiers or barons as the duke didn't want to marry matrilinealy (rejected his regular marriage offer and tried through the diplomacy screen).

And the worst part is that it is YOU who have to suffer the consequences of breaking the betrothal. It shouldn't be my problem if the groom in question is suddenly more important than when we agreed on marriage/betrothal terms in the first place. I am keeping my promises, the AI doesn't. And who takes the shit? Not the AI part.

 

[icon41gimp]

There is no real penalty for breaking the betrothal. A nominal and temporary opinion penalty is not material to the gameplay.

 

[Prince Michael]

There is no real penalty for breaking the betrothal. A nominal and temporary opinion penalty is not material to the gameplay.

Agreed. But I still feel that it's fundamentally wrong that the player takes the hit when it is the AI part who breaks the agreed terms...

 

[BBBD316]

Well you are choosing not to go ahead. The AI is still willing, they have just changed the terms of the deal, pray they do not change it further.

Worst is when you set up a mat bethoral and for whatever reason your girl leaves court to take up an inheritance and then agrees to a normal marriage!!!! I think female rulers should never accept a normal marriage, except to kin folk.

 

[Stratagyfan101]

With betrothals, the AI may try to change the agreement if IT sends you the message. If you send the request, it will hold to the original deal. I always send my offer to be sure.

 

[Dearmad]

With betrothals, the AI may try to change the agreement if IT sends you the message. If you send the request, it will hold to the original deal. I always send my offer to be sure.

Sometimes you cannot send your offer at all as the AI will not allow it. It has changed even that. Greyed out.

 

[JonStryker]

The AI usually wants to screw you over with matrilineal marriages. Sneaky assholes, that's what they are.

Usually you can get the original deal if you send the request by yourself. Even if it's the incumbent emperor.

But not always:
If you set up a matrilineal betrothal of say one of your underage daughters and some guy landing him before the marriage took place is a bad idea. He now is a count and won't accept the marriage anymore. Regardless if he was a lowborn before.