Hey guys, I'm MoreEpicThanYou. I am more Epic than all of you, and none of you are Epic enough to deny that. 
I'm new to EUIII, I got it for Christmas. But, I'm not new to game AARs, I have a Civ IV AAR.
One thing that's popular in the Civ IV AARs subforum of CivFanatics is a version of scripted comedy where other users sign up to be advisers (military adviser, tech adviser, financial adviser, etc.) I might look like an idiot if it's also popular here, but I'm going to go with it. However, because I'm new here, I'm not allowed to create an interactive AAR. But, I came up with the Epic idea to have people sign up from CivFanatics instead of here. Loopholes FTW!
Without farther ado, here is the the first update!
MoreEpicThanYou: Hello, everybody! I am the Sultan of Zaragoza. All of my citizens practically worship my Epicness, but-
Random Citizens: No, we don't! You're so non-Epic, that-
MoreEpicThanYou: Guards?
*Guards load guns*
Random Citizens: BUT GUNS DON'T EXIST YET!
MoreEpicThanYou: Too bad.
Random Citizens: We worship your Epicness, Oh Epic Sultan!
MoreEpicThanYou: Now that's more like it.
MoreEpicThanYou: OK, here's a map of Europe. As you can see, Europe is divided up into countries of a few provinces each, just waiting to be conquered by Muslims.
MoreEpicThanYou: The religious conquest of Europe is already underway. Several pagan religions are popular in the North, while Islam has pretty much replaced Orthodoxy.
MoreEpicThanYou: Hey, nobles! Guess what this decree does!
Nobles: *grumble* What?
MoreEpicThanYou: It takes away tons of your power! I now control almost everything! Isn't that awesome!
Nobles: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE! *run out of palace*
MoreEpicThanYou: Great, now I need to find some new nobles again. I know how to do it.
Peasant: I'm already putting names into a hat, Your Epicness.
MoreEpicThanYou: Perfect. Now to deal with the mob the crazed Nobles have created...
MoreEpicThanYou: Whatever, I'll do that later. It won't matter to anyone, anyway.
Meanwhile, in Castilla La Vieja...
Peasants: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Back at the Epic Palace...
MoreEpicThanYou: Time to mint some more $. Because my inflation is magically going down due to the mysterious force known as Very Easy, this has no consequence.
MoreEpicThanYou: This is too easy.
MoreEpicThanYou: I don't know why Priests always look the same, but at least it'll make conversions easier.
Priest: What! But my hair is 2 millimeters longer than everyone else!
MoreEpicThanYou: All right, now I will-
The Player: No, you won't.
MoreEpicThanYou: WHO DARES DEFY THE EPIC SULTAN!
The Player: I am The Player. I have power over Life, the Universe, and Everything.
MoreEpicThanYou: Oh, yeah? Prove it!
The Player: *snaps fingers*
MoreEpicThanYou: OK, you win. Those province names are much more Epic. But, why can't you rename Castilla La Veja?
The Player: That's because the Crazed Nobles are there.
MoreEpicThanYou: Well, why don't you just destroy them?
The Player: I do not have permission to do that.
MoreEpicThanYou: What do you mean you don-
The Player: SILENCE! I have been ordered to not let you do anything until you have gotten new Nobles.
MoreEpicThanYou: Can I at least check if the royal marriage requests I sent out got accepted?
The Player: Fine.
MoreEpicThanYou: Well, one is okay, I guess. Might as well just wait for the new Nobles...
I'm new to EUIII, I got it for Christmas. But, I'm not new to game AARs, I have a Civ IV AAR.
One thing that's popular in the Civ IV AARs subforum of CivFanatics is a version of scripted comedy where other users sign up to be advisers (military adviser, tech adviser, financial adviser, etc.) I might look like an idiot if it's also popular here, but I'm going to go with it. However, because I'm new here, I'm not allowed to create an interactive AAR. But, I came up with the Epic idea to have people sign up from CivFanatics instead of here. Loopholes FTW!
Without farther ado, here is the the first update!
MoreEpicThanYou: Hello, everybody! I am the Sultan of Zaragoza. All of my citizens practically worship my Epicness, but-
Random Citizens: No, we don't! You're so non-Epic, that-
MoreEpicThanYou: Guards?
*Guards load guns*
Random Citizens: BUT GUNS DON'T EXIST YET!
MoreEpicThanYou: Too bad.
Random Citizens: We worship your Epicness, Oh Epic Sultan!
MoreEpicThanYou: Now that's more like it.
MoreEpicThanYou: OK, here's a map of Europe. As you can see, Europe is divided up into countries of a few provinces each, just waiting to be conquered by Muslims.
MoreEpicThanYou: The religious conquest of Europe is already underway. Several pagan religions are popular in the North, while Islam has pretty much replaced Orthodoxy.
MoreEpicThanYou: Hey, nobles! Guess what this decree does!
Nobles: *grumble* What?
MoreEpicThanYou: It takes away tons of your power! I now control almost everything! Isn't that awesome!
Nobles: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE! *run out of palace*
MoreEpicThanYou: Great, now I need to find some new nobles again. I know how to do it.
Peasant: I'm already putting names into a hat, Your Epicness.
MoreEpicThanYou: Perfect. Now to deal with the mob the crazed Nobles have created...
MoreEpicThanYou: Whatever, I'll do that later. It won't matter to anyone, anyway.
Meanwhile, in Castilla La Vieja...
Peasants: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Back at the Epic Palace...
MoreEpicThanYou: Time to mint some more $. Because my inflation is magically going down due to the mysterious force known as Very Easy, this has no consequence.
MoreEpicThanYou: This is too easy.
MoreEpicThanYou: I don't know why Priests always look the same, but at least it'll make conversions easier.
Priest: What! But my hair is 2 millimeters longer than everyone else!
MoreEpicThanYou: All right, now I will-
The Player: No, you won't.
MoreEpicThanYou: WHO DARES DEFY THE EPIC SULTAN!
The Player: I am The Player. I have power over Life, the Universe, and Everything.
MoreEpicThanYou: Oh, yeah? Prove it!
The Player: *snaps fingers*
MoreEpicThanYou:
OK, you win. Those province names are much more Epic. But, why can't you rename Castilla La Veja?The Player: That's because the Crazed Nobles are there.
MoreEpicThanYou: Well, why don't you just destroy them?
The Player: I do not have permission to do that.
MoreEpicThanYou: What do you mean you don-
The Player: SILENCE! I have been ordered to not let you do anything until you have gotten new Nobles.
MoreEpicThanYou: Can I at least check if the royal marriage requests I sent out got accepted?
The Player: Fine.
MoreEpicThanYou: Well, one is okay, I guess. Might as well just wait for the new Nobles...
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