Chapter 20, part 1: Revenge is a dish best served with a side order of French fries…
*Anybody who knows the proper end to that sentence is incredibly awesome.
I add a new protectorate to begin the update.
I’ve become borderline obsessed with this idea of “cultivate a powerful Chinese ally so I can finally ignore China,” yet as you will see in the closing updates, I will completely fail to ignore China. Oh well. I start coring my new Manchurian provinces. I decide to claim the throne of the Mongol Khanate. The RNG rewards me for the brilliant move.
Then laughs in my face as a few weeks later, Korea declares war on the Mongol Khanate. Still, this war could be promising:
There are more pressing matters close to home, however. Pressing
citric matters.
The coveted Twodeckers is now mine for the building (after paying off my loans, of course). Ceylon’s independence from Russia is ended when Vijayanagar absorbs them instead. But, this whole Mongol Khanate has me pretty angry. Korea, we are through!
I then Rival them, replacing Portugal. A Gold Rush reminds me to build that fort in Australia that’s been my mission for a while now. In August 1752, Brittany is annexed by France. I get MIL 21 in October. Russia takes a huge bite out of Crimea and Uzbek. By early 1753, Korea has annexed Mongol Khanate. I form a coalition against them (with no other members except Alaska and New Japan). I finish my fort in Australia and choose the “Restore the Currency mission.” 200 ADM later, I’m down to 4.25% inflation, and the mission knocks down another point, plus that sweet 5 year bonus to prestige and National Trade Income. My new mission is to make France like me. This is actually possible, shockingly.
Nothing to see here, folks, just another guaranteed successful update! My inquisitor dies, so I replace him with a Master of Mint in order to Enact the Gold Standard (and wear down the last bit of my inflation.) Pirates get another Japanese ship in 10 February 1754. Uh, let’s not overdo it, guys. This is good news, though!
Okay, seriously, Woodes Halsey (if that is your real name), that’s enough. I’m pretty sure the gods are already appeased, but I fear we have irritated them by giving a ship to the pirates.
I immediately get a stab hit after this, so I think this answers EUNOOB’s question – there is a limit to how much the gods of sunken ships will take. I embargo Korea (the first time I’ve embargoed somebody in EU IV!) and begin fabricating a claim. I chose Hamgyeong, but I look on this decision and regret it, because you know what I could have gotten a claim on instead? Beijing. Oh well. Can’t fix the past. All of my fears about Russia, however, are allayed in 1755 because the Oirat Horde has formed a coalition against them. A coalition of one OPM! The threat lasts for a week or two, but then Zhou vassalizes Oirat Horde.
I have 20 Twodeckers under construction right now, BTW. Spain loses Kochin to Vijayanagar and Corsica to Sardinia. I DOW Korea 10 January 1756.
THAT WAS XI’S SHIP NOT MINE DON’T HURT ME SEA GODS
Ahem.
Hey Korea, you’re a couple hundred years later for Johnny McSupershock. I hire a Naval Reformer to replace the dead DIP guy, good for a boost to naval morale. I also do this.
The boost to trade power is nice, the boost to tariffs and trade efficiency even nicer, and China is basically a Prestige Factory for me. I now have good enough relations with France, and I choose to pursue Religious Unity.
Oh, Alaska…
That’s not the Japanese way of war. If not for your delicious tariffs (thanks for those) and gold, I’d probably let you have your independence and see how long you last.
More enemy ships sunk! Surely the sea gods are appeased now!
I’m not sure how I feel about this, to be honest.
I mean, good for Shun, I guess. I pick up DIP 23 and MIL 22. The Hansa jolly stomps Burgundy; they lose Antwerp to the Hansa, plus Vermandois, Poitou, and Arnor to France. And lose 119 ducats. So, the punching bag of Europe used me as a punching bag. I’m not sure how I feel about that either. I get ADM 21, then my leader dies. Aya I is 3/0/1 (ugh), but she has a nice heir.
Oh, if only we had already invented Blu Ray in the 18th century. I would send Aya I a copy of the Extended Editions of the Lord of the Rings Trilogy. There would be a sticky note (because we invented those too): “Check out Eowyn. Eh? EH?!” Shun gets 70 ducats from Korea and calls it a war. I get a new MIL advisor (+5% discipline). I end my war against Korea a bit later.
All of my provinces are nice and contiguous now. You may be asking yourself, “Why give Beijing to Shun?” My answer is “so I can reduce Korea’s basetax enough to the point where another war or two will result in annexation or vassalization.” Plus, the loss of Beijing should pretty much cripple Korea permanently, and I hate those guys. I release Makassar to get closer to religious unity. The RNG gods consider this a good move.
I discover that Europe’s real punching bag is GB: Burgundy just took Gwynedd and Cornwall, French Canada [that is, the Canada of Burgundy] picked up three provinces,
and Burgundy got 220 ducats. Burgundy follows up with a DOW on Cherokee, just to make fun of Alaska (I’m pretty sure.) I get MIL 23. This is followed up by a stab hit. Uh… sorry? I’ll try to stop discovering new technologies, I guess?
I convert the last Confucian province in Japan to Shinto. Huzzah!
The new mission is to improve my defenses in Heilongjang. I begin claiming Haixi. I learn about this time that now GB is friendly towards me. I get DIP 24. I get an unexpected alliance with Ayutthaya. GB shows they are, indeed, the true punching bag of Europe, coughing up the Gold Coast to Portugal, releasing Connacht, and giving Portugal 300 ducats. Spain signs an alliance with Russia. I begin my (second) war with Korea with a stack wipe. I sink some more ships, yadda yadda yadda, typical war against Asians. I do choose a new idea group.
This is one of those decisions that agonized me at the time. I really wanted to take Innovative, but with a 0 ADM heir… that would have been a bad call. This left me with DIP or MIL ideas. I knew I didn’t want the Diplomacy group, for certain. Aristocratic similarly seemed like a waste of time, since a lot of those are good for cavalry. That left Expansion, Trade, Quantity, and Defensive. I eliminated the MIL ideas simply because I wanted to keep gaining MIL tech, so we were down to Expansion and Trade. Now, at this point of the game, there are maybe five or six uncolonized provinces. Another colonist wouldn’t help, but Trade would help right away. The choice was made, and looking back, it’s one of the few I can unequivocally say was the right move.
Shun sends a DOW to Korea again. This is getting mildly annoying, but there is one upside: if I let Shun take some Korean land (just one province), I think I can annex Korea (or vassalize them). They’ve only got one core, Chengde, so that doesn’t sound like it’ll hurt me too badly. I’m willing to wait.
Of course, this plan falls apart when I realize Shun would need to take
two Korean provinces. I really wish I’d taken Beijing in that first war now.
Not a bad consolation prize, though. I fire my Master of Mint and hire a Theologian to help convert my new Korean provinces. Burgundy gets 5 provinces off of Cherokee. Stupid Alaska.
And that ends the update. Nothing else interesting happened. NOTHING.
Oh, wait. Maybe that. Would that be interesting to you?
Next update is provisionally targeted for Tuesday of next week, maybe Monday. See you then!
